professional pants pooper

she/they USAmerican :( (ex)mormon sideblog: heretical-hag

[sacred-portal]

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

oh wait just realized i can edit my own posts.

like you can't edit reblogs anymore but you can still edit your own post even after it has a thousand notes or whatever.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

i have the opportunity to do the funniest thing.

[wholesome-animal-images]

[xzye-trelefor]

They can read

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

every child should have a specific stuffed animal/toy that they develop an antagonistic relationship with

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

some of my most significant core memories involved getting into heated arguments with the furby who lived in my closet. essential component of my pre-teen character development. necessary anguish

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

sometimes small children will inflict years of torment & waterboarding on their victims before burying them in an unmarked concrete grave, that's just part of growing up

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the post that keeps on giving (via @zenyeetaa):

#okay we weren’t children when we did this but me and some old roommates kept a baby doll in the freezer #at first it was to jump scare the next person who opened the freezer #but he was in there for a few months and then when we decided it was time to pull it out a bunch of fires broke out across our county #so we put him back in the freezer. we named him chippy and drew a mustache on his face #we tried pulling him out of the freezer a few times after that but some horrible event would happen every time without fail #when we moved apartments we had a special cooler to bring chippy with us #as far as i know chippy is still in a freezer somewhere

[depsidase]

[thememedaddy]

[kosmogrl]

[ofliliesandremains]

And so the ancient texts persist

[dumnslut]

[lemondoddle]

[A photo of a store sign reading "buy sell trade: happy birthdae gay people!" End ID.]

[gokusclit]

[kosmogrl]

just saw this and it made me sob.

[segamascott]

[rabbiteclair]

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

[everything-and-elsewhere]

guys that tiny little pocket inside that bigger pocket on your jeans is the perfect home for your second dose of Adderall just thought you should know

[everything-and-elsewhere]

do we really need a Carolina Reaper? I mean a Grim Reaper makes sense - there are enough tellings and retellings of those fairytales to keep em reaping for a lifetime. But there are only two Carolinas. Surely that's not enough to warrant their own reaper. The Dakotas don't get one

[everything-and-elsewhere]

nothing quite makes me neurotic like taking the big 5 personality assessment and finding out that my personality is mostly being neurotic

[everything-and-elsewhere]

so the other day I was meeting with a civil engineering professor and he was like

"if you hear any weird sounds dw it's just a bat they missed when they relocated the thousands of bats that took up residence in our new engineering building because it was poorly engineered and made a very nice and accessible shelter for the local bat population"

but I didn't even get to see a bat :(