#extradirty
ellievsbear
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Cosmic Funnies
Keni
izzy's playlists!
todays bird
Today's Document
pixel skylines
roma★
ojovivo
Janaina Medeiros
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JVL
shark vs the universe
EXPECTATIONS
Game of Thrones Daily
Misplaced Lens Cap
seen from United States
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@edna-p
EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO REBLOGS THIS WILL GET THE FOLLOWING IN THEIR INBOX.
A BRIEF ORIGIN STORY
A SUPERPOWER OR THREE, MAYBE FOUR DEPENDING
A SUPERHERO OR VILLAIN NAME
YOU MIGHT ALSO GET AN ARCHNEMESIS WHO HAS REBLOGGED THIS ALREADY
AND YES I MEAN EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO REBLOGS THIS.
The answer to the question “how do I spell chanukah the right way?” Is really “with a different alphabet” so like, do whatever
this is so southern - I love it
Baby It’s Cold Outside discourse is the same as Macbeth discourse.
Explain?
OK, so one of the big debates in Macbeth involves the scene in which Lady Macbeth talks Macbeth into killing King Duncan. People debate strenuously over whether it’s a scene of Lady M pressuring her reluctant husband into it, or whether it’s a scene of her sensing, due to their emotional intimacy, that this murder is something her husband secretly wants and has partially internally decided to do, and is arguing him into it in order to help him give himself permission to do it, in the same way that people see their loved ones wavering over the dessert menu and jump in with things like, “Go on, get the cheesecake, it’s your birthday!” Readers and scholars disagree strenuously about this - we even studied an incident in college in which two 18th century illustrators attended the same performance and happened to draw the scene the day after, producing two images that advanced opposite interpretations even though they’d seen the exact same actors do the exact same performance. It’s a big deal.
In the same way, the Baby, It’s Cold Outside discourse is about whether this is a song about sexual harassment, or whether it’s a woman singing about how she wishes she could spend the night with the guy she just had an excellent date with if only the neighbors wouldn’t talk, and him responding, “Stay, baby, it’s cold out! No one could expect you to go home in this!”
I really don’t know (baby stab his side) King Duncan’s a bro (baby cut through his hide) I like him a lot (That decrepit old sot?) This plan ain’t so great (But what a king you’d make!)
The guards might worry (Darling, do it in a hurry!) His sons will rush the door (So knock them on the floor.)
I’m not such a knave (Bash his head with a stave) But I’d be a good king (Now you’re starting to think)
The dukes might all talk (But their chatter means naught) Say, love, what do you mean (You’d make such a king)
I simply must go (baby cut through his hide) There’s a war on you know (baby cut through his hide)
But what of his wife? (And what of his life?) It feels like bad luck (But that don’t mean much)
I’ve got a bad premonition (And I’ve got a mission) But that’s just superstition (My love, you’re a vision)
The witches said I’d rule (If they lied they were cruel) So baby let’s stab Stab his siiiiide!
Shakespeare Galavant-style
No, YOU’RE crying
If you just needed something nice today, here it is.
playing dress up
Can someone tell me why the fuck the people in my grandparents old folks community dressed up as sperm for Halloween? I feel like I’m having a stroke
For millennia dragons have raided and pillaged human villages for gold. Lately, however, they’ve heard of something called ‘wages’ where humans will just GIVE them gold for doing jobs.
Capitalism saves the day.
“You mean instead of spending an hour burning down the entire village and maybe stealing 100 gold pieces. All you want me to do is just spend 10 minutes lightly breathing under the forges and you’ll give me 25 pieces each week just like that?”
“Every week”
“How will you afford this?”
“Well we wont have to rebuild the village once a month for starters”
stop automatically demonizing neurotypical advice
“drinking more water” won’t cure you, but water is still good for your body and necessary for survival
“sleeping on a regular schedule” won’t cure you, but regular sleep is a natural mood stabilizer and will only help you
“going out in nature” won’t cure you, but the fresh air and exercise can often help your body feel more energized and give you a distraction from the day to day suffering
“going for a run” won’t cure you, but even if you can’t run, walk, letting your blood flow through your body is a good thing
“doing yoga” won’t cure you, but it could help you learn new ways of healthy coping and finding some peace in a scary whirlwind of mental illness
all the neurotypical advice that we love to hate won’t cure you. but it won’t hurt you either.
Hunter S. Thompson once- You know what, if I tried to make up a fact about that guy there’s a 99.9% chance it would be true. Scratch this one...
i feel like Draco would start saying ‘my husband will hear about this’ instead of father, just so everyone would know that he is married to the great and mighty Harry Potter, therefore his word is god.
HOLY SHIT GUYS, LOOK AT THIS
A little over a year ago I drew this picture of rule63!Sherlock-and-John (also on tumblr):
and today I got an LJ comment notification from shizayats saying that she and her friend had recognized themselves in the drawing and decided to cosplay it. LOOK AT THIS, I JUST. CAN’T STOP FLAILING, I’M SO UTTERLY DELIGHTED.
ALWAYS REBLOG!!!
Perfect
6th October : “Pirate Drama”
Sherlock and Rosie love playing pirates! Sadly John always get in between them >.>;;
This comic is for @n3rdybandb00kw0rm ^^ I add Rosie as an extra~
Check out the rest of my Costume October ^^
My dash is pretty empty and I need more people to follow so reblog if
You can also hear the consistent, B-flat humming of the moon every night and you understand what it’s trying to convey.
You met an angel in the parking lot of Burger King who gave you a soda and a meaningful look before dissolving into flames.
You have distinct memories of watching The Video on the internet that you can determine, through the shared experiences of other, undoubtedly existed, yet not even a mention of it can be found anymore.
Bill Murray has appeared in your house, took all of the legs off of your chairs without saying a word or breaking eye contact, and left. You’re not sure how he got in or out. All of your doors were locked.
You have reached the edges of the Program where you could see the earth dissolve into pixels and strings of binary, momentarily before They re-calibrated it and a simple street materialized in front of you.
You lie awake at night unable to sleep because your mind is full, wondering what horrors might exist in the vast jaws of space that your mind has not evolved to comprehending yet.
Poppy has c
You heard a conversation occurring in your house knowing you were the only person home. When you investigate your animals lock eyes with you, sitting still and scared like wide eyed statues until you leave.
You haven’t found the heart to tell your mother that her boyfriend of 4 years is really just a sack of potatoes in a child sized tuxedo. She is happy for the first time in years, you think you will just keep it to yourself.
No one believes you about the small red cow that seems to live on your nightstand. The cow mocks you about this fact. That is the only thing the cow does. The nightstand emits a loud noise when you attempt to remove it.
Wherever you go you always here the faintest loop of 99 Red Balloons by Nena that seems to play in the distance. It never sounds any closer or farther, though some days it is in German.
Anyway this is all I can think of for now lol. If anything here applies to you I’ll probably give you a follow.
Honestly if you want to know why Batman is necessary in Gotham City just remember that the Gotham City Police Department had a banquet honoring Commissioner Gordon and they ordered a cake from “Crazy Clown Catering.” Honestly, guess who jumped out of the cake, much to the surprise of the entire Gotham City Police Force, who by all logic should have an entire division devoted to Clown Felonies by this point
In the criminal justice system, clown based offenses are considered especially heinous. In Gotham City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these comedic felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Insane Clown Posse. These are their stories.
*honk honk*
Motivation
I have none, so I am hoping you can help. I’m putting down all my wips, by either posting the link on AO3, or posting a paragraph if I’ve haven’t started publishing it.
Reblog this with which number(s) you’d like to read more of, and for each reblog, I’ll add a sentence to that wip.
Pride of Place
Monkey’s Paw
Today’s Adventure: Dogwood
Mr Tumnus, Lead the Way (Johnstrade): Greg turned to John slowly, lowering his head and raising his brow, “You-“ he laughed, “You think he wouldn’t be able to get off, if it was a guy sucking him off?”John nodded simply, “Well, yeah. He’s straight.”“Oh, dear sweet John,” Greg chuckled, “Bet you twenty quid I could blow a straight guy off.”John laughed, “If anyone could, it’d be you. But you’d have to find someone first.”“A straight guy? In this room? I wonder who that could be?” Greg smirked and winked.
Trickster Johncroft: “Oh lovely,” John groaned sarcastically from his chair, glaring at Sherlock over his newspaper. “Because that’s how I’d hoped to spend my Saturday, at a masquerade ball with loads of blue blooded toffs who’ll take one look at me and sneer. No, thank you.”
Consensual Somnophilia Johncroft: Mycroft opened the invite with silence; he’d had the door well oiled and the frame solidly restored. The plush rug that kept the chill of London nights from seeping into John’s feet served its secondary purpose of further disguising his own footsteps. There wasn’t a gift at Baker street that didn’t serve dual purposes, if not many more.John lay on his stomach, the tan from his service all but faded. His strength hadn’t; Mycroft could still see the soft definition of his shoulders and back. His chasing after Sherlock kept him fit, but he still bore the signs of a man no longer at war. On the nightstand stood a small bottle of anti-histamines, and Mycroft smiled wolfishly. John would be in a nice, deep sleep tonight.
john/mycroft/sherlock ABO: Even with the car Mycroft had sent, it took twenty-three minutes to arrive at Mycroft’s house once John had received his text. And even then, once he’d opened the door, John realised that Mycroft had already waited far too long. His cloying scent was as thick as Kandahar heat, and he could hear weak moans coming from the sitting room. Mycroft must not have even been able to make it to his own bedroom before falling victim to the barrage of his increasingly tyrannical heats.
Sundae Special (Stripclub Johnlock): But then, his brain rationalised, wasn’t the whole point of stag and hen parties to surround yourself with desire and temptation, but still remain faithful? To demonstrate that you couldn’t be swayed from your love, regardless of whatever illicit sins whispered in your ear? Gayle had split a stack of ones between them to slip into g-strings and garters. If a few made their way into slacks Liam was poured into, what difference did it make? None, John decided. None whatsoever.
Roommates ColdFlash: “Hello, young man. I am Colonel Gearson with the United States Army and I have to ask you a few questions regarding activities our personnel may or may not have been involved in.”“Yeah, that’s like, all the activities then, isn’t it?” Axel narrowed his eyes, keeping the front door open a measly six inches or so.“Excuse me?”“I mean, activities that your personnel may or may not be involved in? That’s every activity in the world. And time. And space. I don’t have time for that many questions, kay? Bye now.”
Proposition 1 (ColdFlashWave): “You see, Flash, we called you here to offer you a,” Cold paused for effect, “-proposition, of sorts.” Barry laughed, “Propositioning me? I didn’t think I looked that good in this suit. You think you could handle me?” “You do and I can.” Cold deadpanned, then added, “Especially with Mick’s help.”
Johniarty DubCon: “No need to be shy,” Jim rocked against Watson’s arse, who gave another startled half moan. “I’ve been watching you, Johnny. For weeks. I’ve seen where your eyes wander, who your arms wrap around, how you retreat at the last minute, to your frustration. I know what you want… what you need.“Watson slowly responded to Jim’s movements, rolling his hips in tune, though Jim was fairly certain it was still subconsciously. Jim leaned in closer and gave his observations in a seductive whisper, “You want to be taken, to be fucked, to be dominated.”
9 & 10 please!
Thank you for the motivation & support! Here’s a bit from each:
9 - Coldflash Roomates
Axel popped up next to Barry and shoved a paper bag in the direction of the Colonel, “Locusts.”
Barry had to look away to steel his dumbfounded expression before facing the Colonel again. “Yeah, he was-”
“I had just come home. Hundreds of fucking locusts swarming over what was left of that piece of shit mailbox. So I kept a bunch, just in case some nosey son of a bitch wandered in off the street demanding to know shit that’s none of his business.”
Barry’s eyes grew wide, “But then you showed up, sir. We thank you for your service. Would you like to keep the bag? For evidence?”
The Colonel glared at Axel as he snatched the paper bag out of his hands. He opened the bag and gave a disgusted look, “Are these frozen?”
“Well, yeah. I wasn’t going to spend my hard earned money to keep some stupid mailbox-eating insects as pets. You think I was gonna let ‘em cuddle with me in bed? Guess the Army’ll take all kinds.”
10 - ColdFlashWave
“I just-” Barry ran his hand through his hair and warmth curled up in Len’s chest at how goddamned adorable Barry Allen was, in contrast to the pain-in-the-ass physical powerhouse with a smart mouth that was The Flash. A glance at Mick showed that he hadn’t missed the sentiment flitting across Len’s face, but the smallest twitch of his smile showed Len that he and Mick were in agreement. Barry missed the whole exchange and just continued, “You gotta give me a few days to- to process all this.”
“Take your time, Barry,” Len said. “We’ll be here. And for the next month, we’ll be good.”
5 & 7 both look like fun!
Chris Pine and the Paparazzi, a summary.
Late? What do you mean “late”?
I never thought Burger King was scary. He seemed more like an aloof weirdo to me.
EDIT: So apparently people don’t know Smug Wendy and sexy fast food mascots were a huge joke thing a few years back? Most of the people I followed at the time made art for it.
