tempest

23, they shitposting

[plagueislost]

tim get your head in the FUCKING game

[bbugbearr]

cowboy au wedding day!! they're so happy!! gee i sure hope nothing goes wrong and that they don't get wrapped up in crimes and become outlaws...

[yaldabaothadeez]

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a slapping,

As of some one gently flapping, flapping at my chamber door.

“’Tis some fairy,” I muttered, “slapping at my chamber door—

            Only this and nothing more.”

[wintersoldierfell]

Quoth the walrus, "Are you sure?"

[toad-in-a-trenchcoat]

had to draw it

[papayafromtv]

the funniest thing about the Joker having this shirt is all those moments where Bruce has almost been unmasked and Joker has purposely NOT found out his identity because it 'ruins the game' or whatever. but Jason Todd? yeah that's Robin who gives a fuck about his identity

this means that there could be a world out there where Jason is so offended that Joker doesn't care about his identity but does care about Batman's. even funnier is that Jason Todd becoming Robin right after he gets adopted by Bruce, billionaire with dead parent trauma and the same build and height as Batman, makes his indentity... kinda obvious. do you think Joker has to jump through mental hoops to specifically make it look like he hasn't figured out Batman's identity for the sake of his games? do you think out of pure offense, Jason decides to fuck this up immeasurably?

Joker: oh Batman, my age old faceless nemesis, how FUN this-

Jason cupping his hands from two rooftops away: Bruce Wayne

Batman: RED HOOD?!

Joker: ....huh?

Jason, pulling out a megaphone: BRUCE FUCKING WAYNE YOU PIECE OF SHIT AND YOU KNOW IT. PUT HIM ON A T-SHIRT!

Batman, nervous:

Joker:

Joker, sweating: I DIDN'T HEAR THAT

-

Red Hood, standing outside the Joker's cell in Arkham, while Joker sits desperately trying not to make eye-contact: Batman is-

Joker, covering his ears: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT-

Jason: *pulls out a sign with a picture of Batman labelled 'Bruce fucking Wayne'*

Joker:

[elbiotipo]

why bother caring about the environment when 1. It’s so obviously a lost cause and 2. There’s definitely going to be a nuclear war?

And what are you doing about it Anon? Learn about ecological restoration or get out of my way.

[elbiotipo]

If you read ecology books printed in the 70s and 80s, they were absolutely convinced that whales and tigers would not survive the century. There's a whole plot in Star Trek about how whales are extinct actually. Here in Argentina, we were sure that yaguaretés would have gone extinct. It was thought that rainforests would be forever lost, because there was no way that such complex ecosystems would be restored.

Now, you can go to Península Valdés and find that the whale population there is growing year after year, people can see them from their windows. In Iberá, where yaguaretés were extinct for over 70 years, there's now a population of 35 and growing, after being reintroduced just five years ago. As for rainforests?

We've becoming very, very good on restoring them. Natural environments, when given space and time to heal, can return to that they were. And after all, all natural enviroments are managed by human societies. It is up to us to implement a good management, un buen gobierno.

I firmly believe our children and grandchildren will see a restoration of Earth like never before.

Millions of people are working on this. You can learn about it, perhaps even become one of them. Or be a pointless doomer in my ask box. Your choice.

[crabussy]

if there are people who care, it's never a lost cause. at one point, kākāpō, a nocturnal flightless parrot species from aotearoa, were thought to be entirely extinct for decades. until 1977, where booming calls from males were heard on the small island of whenua hou. now, thanks to people who care so much they dedicated their lives to caring, kākāpō numbers are close to 300. despite the setbacks. despite the small gene pool causing infertility and health problems. people cared so fucking much that they survived. this is one of COUNTLESS, countless similar stories. I'm studying ecology so that I can go into conservation and all around me, every day, I see people who care enough to put years of their lives into learning about and solving environmental problems. I don't know man. hope isn't just some nebulous thing. it's tangible if you do something with it.

[kedreeva]

Tim Wong saw the decline of the pipeline swallowtail butterfly, and dedicated himself to providing habitat and raising babies, and it worked.

Spix's Macaws were extinct in the wild for 70 years, and now captive breeding and conservation groups have reintroduced a small population (with more on the way) and there are babies being successfully raised in the wild again.

And what else is there, but hope? We exist for the grace of hope. Those who have lost all hope don't stay here. If you are here to send an ask like this, it is not because you have given up, it's that you are hoping someone will show you that that hope is worth having.

It is!! It always is!!

There will be good things and if you cannot find them, make them! The time will pass anyway, you can choose what to do with it, and so many, many people are choosing to try to help.

[coinin]

The Lord Howe Island rodent eradication project never fails to make me cry, it’s so beautiful.

The population of an entire island working together to eradicate every last rat and mouse to save the native bird populations. They had to trap a bunch of the birds and keep them in captivity so they wouldn’t be hurt by the rodenticides, and released them after the rodents were gone. Normal residents helped by phoning in tips whenever they saw rodents. And they did it. Lord Howe Island, last I read, remains rodent free, and the native bird populations are rebounding!

Acid rain and the hole in the ozone layer, both of which were terrifying specters of my childhood, have been largely dealt with. Ecosystems devastated by acid rain are also recovering.

We are making a difference!

[aetherograph]

In 1979, an audacious, expensive conservation project was begun to try and breed california condors in captivity toward being released into the wild again. This was considered useless and hopeless by many people, but many more people said we had to at least TRY.

In 1991, the first captive-raised condors were re-introduced to Big Sur, Pinnacles, and Bitter Creek.

In 2006, three months before I turned eighteen, the first wild pair of condors was seen nesting in Big Sur in over a hundred years. A hundred years.

We did that. We fixed it.

How about another example.

When my mom was small, in the 1960s, there were many, many days of the year she was not allowed outside. Days and days they had recess indoors, because the air was so poisonous to breathe. Here's an article about it, with some good pictures.

My mom was 13 in the picture on the left. She was 50 in the picture on the right.

In 1987, there were 27 California Condors in the world, all captive.

In 2024, there were 566.

369 of them fly free.

That happened within my lifetime, and I'm not even 40 yet.

When you lose hope, think of our stories we're telling you. Recount them to yourself like a prayer. That's what I do.

There are 369 California Condors flying free in the sky right now.

There is no more acid rain.

There is an ozone.

There are wild tigers.

There are still birds on Lord Howe Island.

There are 369 California Condors flying free.

[dragonfly-wings1]

Black footed ferrets were considered completely extinct in 1979. Then we found a single den in Wyoming in 1981. In 1996 it was classified as extinct in the wild.

By 2013, there were approximately 1,200 living wild, across 18 dens. Their numbers increase regularly, and while the face challenges due to habitat loss, climate change, and their limited genetic diversity, they're in a much better place than they were.

Because people cared, and they worked, and they fought to make things better.

[bbnotumbl]

[elden-tempest]

There are only 3 types of people in this world

1. People who want to fuck mothman

2. People who want to be mothman

3. Liars

[yj-polycule]

Happy Father’s Day to Tim Drake

[bats-and-birds-24]

Cassandra Cain is an icon because she has three living parents and went by orphan.

[chaoticbatfam]

Steph: *grinning evilly* it’s cause she orphans the children of her enemies Cas: *choking* nO—

[bucksangel]

this is immensely funny to me

[the-jason-todd-impreganator]

I have been watching seven kids all day long and need to project the trauma of parenting somewhere, so... Batfam quotes :D

—

Bruce, half awake in a sitting room: Please, stop.

Jason, trying to suffocate Tim with a pillow: GIVE ME THE REMOTE!

Tim: *Muffled swears*

Damian, helping Jason: WE WANT TO WATCH MEAN GIRLS!

Cass, tackling Jason from behind: OFF OUR BROTHER!

Dick: Guys please, the doctor said we had to keep Tim's blood pressure down!

Duke: Man, we need to keep all our blood pressure down, he ain't special.

Bruce: Please, don't kill your brother.

Stephanie: Guys, he stopped fighting.

Dick: OH MY GODS YOU KILLED TIM!?

Damian: Oh no.

Cass, kneeing Jason in the stomach and grinning as he falls to the ground:

Duke: Nah, I think he just passed out.

Bruce: If any of you are dead I'm going to enter a depressive episode that will result in one of you becoming Batman by the end of it.

Dick: OH MY GOD TIM COME BACK TO LIFE I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN!

Damian: DRAKE!?

Cass: I will find a Lazarus pit.

Jason: Nah, I'll just call Talia.

Duke: Y'all, he's breathin', I think he just fell asleep.

Stephanie, checking his pulse:

Stephanie: Yeah, he did. Classic Tim.

Bruce, under his breath: Thank god, I like that one.

—

Tim: Bruce, I have to tell you something.

Bruce: Yes, Tim?

Tim: . . . I'm bi.

Bruce: . . . Didn't you already come out to me?

Tim: Wait, what!? No!

Bruce: . . . No, no you did, you were... The ginger. The ginger one with arrows.

Tim: That was Dick, B.

Bruce: No, Dick wasn't a ginger, Jason was before the hair dye—

Tim: Different timeline, also that was Dick and Roy!

Bruce: Didn't Jason date Roy?

Tim: Bruce. Jason dated Roy, Dick dated Roy, they both dated Roy

Bruce: Oh, oh! Yes, of course... Wait, no, Dick was with the alien.

Tim: Kori and Dick broke up, Bruce.

Bruce: No, he was with the— the kryptonian.

Tim: Bruce, that's you.

Bruce: No, no, Connor.

Tim: Nobody in this family has ever dated Kon, and he's my friend!

Bruce:

Bruce: You aren't dating Connor? Oh, yes, you are with... Stephanie.

Tim: She and I broke up, she's with Cass now, I'm dating Bernard!

Bruce: The... Speedster?

Tim: Oh my god, Bruce, this isn't complicated... Bart is the speedster, Bernard is a human, regular human, not a vigilante or anything, and he's my old high school friend. We are dating now.

Bruce: Oh, yes. Okay. Sorry, I haven't updated the chart since Jason...

Tim: You had a chart to keep track of your kids dating history? When you had two kids!?

Bruce: Dick was complicated, and Jason dated a girl named Rena.

Tim: Again, different timeline, Bruce, they got back together in this one though (because op said so.)

Bruce:

Bruce: What?

Tim: Rena and Jason are dating but Jason also occasionally dates Roy at the same time, Dick is gonna get back together with Kori eventually, we're just waiting for the writers to get their sh&# together, I'm with Bernard, Stephanie and Cass are dating, this isn't a complicated thing, at all.

Bruce:

Bruce: I need to update my charts.

—

TV show host: So, can you introduce your kids for us?

Bruce:

Bruce: Yes, uh, of course.

Bruce, pointing to Dick: My eldest, Richard Grayson.

Bruce, pointing to Tim: My second, Jason— wait, no, he's dead. That one died.

Tim: Please never mistake me for Jason again, I just had several flashbacks.

Bruce: Yes, sorry, no, this is my third son, Tim.

Bruce, pointing to Cass: My daughter, Cassandra, she likes art—

Cass: No, ballet.

Bruce: What? No, Tim likes ballet.

Tim: I hate being the middle child so much.

Damian: Technically Cain is the middle.

Cass: No, Tim likes skateboards and dungeons and dragons.

Bruce: Okay, haha, sorry. So, uh, my youngest...

Damian:

Bruce: That I...

Damian:

Bruce: Adopted..?

Damian: WHAT!?

Bruce: Wait, no, Jason was Talia's, so—

Damian: HE WAS FOUND NEAR A DUMPSTER!

Bruce: Oh, then Tim—

Tim: SERIOUSLY!?

Dick: Bruce this is actually concerning.

Bruce: One of you I made! Cass!?

Cass, visibly concerned: Really?

Bruce: Okay, so, uh...

TV host: Should... Do you need a moment?

Bruce: No, no, I have five children— wait, no, six. Wait, did I adopt Duke?

Dick: No, he lives with his Mom again, she got better, but you didn't even adopt me so why's it matter?

Bruce:

Bruce: I FORGOT TO ADOPT YOU!?

Dick: WHAT DO YOU MEAN FORGOT!?

Tim: I hate this family...

Cass, patting his back:

Damian: At least he remembered your names!

Jason, laughing from his apartment:

—

Tim and Cass sitting at the bat computer:

Bruce, walking over to press a kiss to Cass' hair:

Tim: ???

Bruce, walking over to Cass, patting her shoulder: Good work, son. Get to bed soon.

Cass: . . ?

Bruce, walking away:

Tim: Did he..?

Cass: Again. Yes.

—

Bruce, to Alfred: Alfred, please, I need help with Christmas again.

Alfred: Master Bruce, you have itemized lists of each villain, you can recall them all and memorize all their weaknesses and lives. You cannot do the same for your own children?

Bruce: Please, Alfred, don't make me feel bad. One of them asked for an explosive and I don't know which!?

Alfred: That could very well be several of them...

—

Bruce, walking into the kitchen where all the kids are sitting: Alright, come on Tim, time for patrol.

Tim: Why aren't you going with Robin?

Bruce: You are Robin?

Damian: Father, I am Robin.

Bruce: Why'd I do that?

Damian: What do you mean WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?

Dick: I did that, actually.

Bruce: Why? What did Tim do?

Damian: WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?

Bruce: Nothing, nothing, I just... Tim was Robin, last I checked.

Jason: Bruce, what's the order of your Robin's?

Bruce:

Bruce: It... Okay, Dick,

Dick: Yes..?

Bruce: Then... Stephanie.

Jason: Wow.

Bruce: What!? She died! Two of you died and came back!

Damian: I also died.

Bruce: What? No, you came after Stephanie.

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: Alright, so, Dick, Stephanie—

Jason: REALLY!? I did not die in your arms for this. I wish I died in someone's else's arms. F-#% you.

Bruce: No, no! I'm sorry, you're right, Dick, Jason... Then... Alright, Stephanie and Damian came somewhere, obviously, but Tim is my Robin now! Right?!

Tim: Bruce, Alfred and Dick gave Robin to Damian after you got lost in the time stream.

Bruce:

Bruce: Oh. Uh. Okay... Damian, time for patrol—

Damian: No, I'm going with Richard tonight. You may have DRAKE!

Bruce: No, I'm sorry, son, please.

Damian, storming out:

Bruce, chasing after him: Please, I have had so many of you! And so many hits to the head!

Tim: How come he only ever remembers Dick's stuff?

Jason: Favouritism.

Dick: I fell on his head a lot as a kid. I also used to whisper in his ear as a kid when he slept that I would be the only child he'd ever have and love, so...

Tim:

Jason: And I'm remembered as the bad kid???

—

Bruce: You're grounded.

Barbara: ??? I'm not your kid, Bruce.

Bruce: What?

Barbara: Really? No, I'm not dealing with this, get a neurologist, Bruce.

Bruce: It's not a problem!

—

Bruce, on the phone: Hey, Jay, lad! Are you coming to the gala this weekend?

Jason: ??? I'm dead.

Bruce: What?!

Jason: No! I am legally dead, Bruce!

Bruce: Oh thank god, I thought I was hallucinating again...

Jason: Huh?

Bruce: Nothing, nothing... Wait, why haven't I brought you back to legally alive?

Jason: Hell if I know.

Bruce:

Bruce: Will you come to the gala if—

Jason, hanging up:

—

Bernard:

Bruce:

Bernard:

Bruce: Stephanie, when did you become transgender???

Bernard, trying not to laugh:

Tim: This is why I didn't want you two to meet.

—

Bruce, on the phone: DUKE THOMAS WHY AREN'T YOU HOME!?

Duke: ??? I am.

Bruce: Where?! I checked the entire manor!

Duke: I don't live with you???

Bruce: Oh my god did I fire you???

Duke: What? No? I live with my Mom?

Bruce: . . . She's alive?

Duke: B, that's... All the other kids minus Cass and Damian.

Bruce: Oh...

Duke: Get help, man.

—

Tim, eating cereal at two in the morning:

Bruce, stepping inside the dark room, blinking slowly:

Bruce: Oh, Jason—

Tim: I am so done.

—

[shadowbrightshine]

I'm gonna be honest this is a horror scenario if all his many concussions actually mattered.

[the-jason-todd-impreganator]

Also Post Concussion Disorder, also stress causes memory loss/ problems, so I'd say a fine mix of mental issues and the concussions! :D

[mynahred93]

Tim having to take care of this grown man

[elden-tempest]

He’s so me coded its unreal

[schlarklezyaoi]

nothing pisses me off more than when i see a fic on ao3 talking about reach. "this ship isn't here but i added them for reach" "this fandom tag isn't necessary but i'm adding it for reach" "reposting for reach" STOP IT!!!! this is not tiktok this is not twitter this is an ARCHIVE this is not how it works!!!

[schlarklezyaoi]

i will not deal!!!! that is not how any of this works!!!!

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

if you see people doing this shit, report it. its against the terms of service.

genuinely. copy the link to the fic or series, and then scroll down to the bottom of the page:

click on policy questions & abuse reports which takes you to this page:

if you scroll down, youll be able to report the fic right there but you can also check for yourself that its against ToS

all you need to do is explain that theyre deliberately mistagging things which is just not a thing on ao3 because its an archive.

by posting your fic there, ao3, has the right to manually recategorise tags. its in the ToS:

you cant deliberately mistag stuff on ao3; it is an archive. you cant tag for reach, and this is likely gonna get pat tag wranglers because they deal mostly with form not content of tags and if theyre tagging for reach, its gonna be the more popular tags.

so report the fuck out of them for it. most likely, their fic will just have tags adjusted and their account will be fine.

and if they keep doing it and get suspended for it, its their own damn fault.

also thats not even getting into the fact that mistagging fics is kinda antithetical to their goal of reaching more people because youre not reaching the people who want to read your fic?

[sansnomp4]

[heavyhandedhex]

who survived? …anyone else but you?

[vaporwavesimulator]

hey followers. have you ever wanted to know how it feels to be inside a bag of cornflakes

[officialtokyosan]

ye

[vaporwavesimulator]

enter the cornflakes domain

[runby2]

I fucking hate this website because not only did I click this goddamn link expecting it to be a joke of some sort, but it wasn’t a joke and I sat here spinning the screen around enjoying myself in a stupid bag of cornflakes like the dumbass monkey I am on Tumblr.com, enthralled by being in a bag of corn flakes in

[aroace-ominous-threats]

Go in

[papayafromtv]

Clark’s favourite post-big-mission-destress is using his super hearing to tune in to whatever bullshit Bruce has to deal with on the batplane ride back to Gotham with whatever batkids were on hand during the fight.

Bruce: alright is everybody strapped in-?

Tim: -fucking told you to move up- BRUCE TELL DAMIAN TO SHOVE IT

Jason: oh my god did you see Green Arrow eat shit when that guy shot at him?

Dick: Jason YOU shot him

Bruce: Damian you have to let Tim- Jason that was YOU-?

Jason: hey i TOLD him to move out the way it’s not my fault the bullet ricochetted off a lamppost into his leg-

Bruce: i told you to leave the real bullets at home- TIM STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER

Duke: WAIT I LEFT MY IPOD BACK AT THE FIGHT

Tim: how am i the one getting in trouble- HES LITERALLY GOT HIS KNIFE OUT

Damian: i told you if you got in my way during the battle you would regret it and WHAT DID YOU DO?!

Stephanie: shut up Damian you were totally about to kick it, Tim saved your ass.

Tim: THANK YOU! AND WHAT DO I GET IN RETURN?

Jason: who the fuck takes an ipod to a fight we literally have bluetooth in the comms

Duke: who the fuck dies to the Joker he’s literally just a guy

Jason: OI-

Stephanie: *cackling*

Bruce: OK- Damian and Tim, opposite sides of the plane! Duke we can’t turn back now, i’ll just have to get you a new ipod-

Dick: BRUUUUUUUUCE JASONS BLEEEEDDDIIINNNNGGG

Jason: shut the fuck up you fucking snitch!

Bruce: WHO’S BLEEDING?!? JASON-

Stephanie: hey Duke can i paint your nails- TIM GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE

Damian: Father, Grayson has passed out

Bruce: WHAT-

Jason: HAH! I WIN THE BET HE FUCKING OWES ME 20 DOLLARS

Tim: what bet?

Jason: we both got stabbed so we didnt tell anyone to see who could stay awake the longest

Bruce: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT-

Duke: do you guys even understand how many songs i had downloaded on that ipod? it was fucking engraved, man

Stephanie: Damian stop moving your fucking hands you’re gonna mess up the nail polish

Damian: I HAD TO ITCH MY NOSE

Jason: does anyone wanna see the video of Green Arrow eating shit or what?

Tim, Damian, Duke, Stephanie: YES

Bruce: WE HAVE TO GET DICK A BLOOD TRANSFUSION-

-back with the Justice League-

Clark: *sitting back with his eyes closed, a serene smile on his face*

Barry, whispering to Ollie: what’s he doing?

Ollie: i think it’s a post-battle meditation thing, calms him down

Barry: man, i should really start getting some healthier habits. i never bother meditating.

Ollie: he truly is an inspiration to all.