Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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occasionally subtle
Peter Solarz
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Andulka
trying on a metaphor
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Three Goblin Art
KIROKAZE
h
@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
★
i don't do bad sauce passes
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@ellomellocello
Can’t believe Tangled (2010) had the emotional intelligence and insight to ask the question what do you do when your dream IS fulfilled and it’s everything you wanted it to be but then it’s over.
BUT it's not the ONLY movie to do so. The Princess Bride also wrestled with this problem, and came up with a totally different answer:
That's where I learned i have claustrophobia 🫠
Look, I'm not normally one to defend St. Louis, but I will always defend a catenary.
The arch is not a parabola. It's a flattened catenary, generalized by y = A cosh(Bx)
I watched one of the guys on my conference panel generating his paper in chatgpt right next to me and I still want to scream and cry and throw up
Our laboratory professionals (these are people with PhDs on top of their professional degrees [mostly DVMs]) have begun experimenting with chatgpt recently. Those of us with a lick of sense are appropriately horrified, and brought it up at a recent meeting of our laboratory network's regulatory agency and governing body. Everyone else in the meeting, from labs all over the country, was also appropriately horrified, but struggled to articulate why we need to make Rules and Protocols preventing such a thing.
And then this very regal-looking, elderly Asian woman said, "This is cheating. It is plagiarism. When I came to this country for my undergraduate degree, my Freshman Chemistry professor took several of us international students aside and told us that he knew that we were getting American students to help us write our homework, because our English was not good. He said that we were not plagiarizing yet, but that we needed to be very, very careful. I have been very careful my entire career. To use generative AI to write anything is cheating, and we must not permit it."
Catastrophes I have cleaned up with our shop vac
-a shattered shower door
-glitter
"One time," my neighbour said, "my dog escaped and chased a car down the road."
"Did he catch it?"
"No, he didn't." My neighbour scratched his chin. "What are you gonna do?"
We looked from my proud dog to the chicken-legged hut he'd somehow corralled into the yard.
"Dunno. Leave the country?"
~ From Kitchen to Garret, by Virginia Terhune Van de Water, 1912
Going to see children and adolescents dance badly, play ball badly, sing badly, play recorder badly because they are young: YES! YOU ARE LEARNING! INCREDIBLE!
People are so rude about going to watch the children in their lives do stuff shittily. “Ugh toddler dance recital,” “ugh tee-ball weekend again,” “ugh nativity play.”
That guy learned what skipping is this year and now he’s playing the piano the worst I’ve ever seen but the best he’s ever done! AREN’T YOU CAPTIVATED BY THEIR ABILITY TO DO A LITTLE BIT WHEN PREVIOUSLY THEY COULD DO NOTHING? Be filled with wonder and joy!
PEER REVIEWED
Dust if you must, by Rose Milligan (September 1998)
Dust if you must, but wouldn't it be better
To paint a picture, or write a letter,
Bake a cake, or plant a seed;
Ponder the difference between want and need?
Dust if you must, but there's not much time,
With rivers to swim, and mountains to climb;
Music to hear, and books to read;
Friends to cherish, and life to lead.
Dust if you must, but the world's out there
With the sun in your eyes, and the wind in your hair;
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain,
This day will not come around again.
Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it's not kind.
And when you go (and go you must)
You, yourself, will make more dust.
I have mixed feelings about Milligan’s advice. Awhile back I posted a poem, I think by Kai Tempest, about the way boys push their friends to take greater and greater risks while girls shame their friends into conformity. Someone reposted with the observation that not all girls avoided BMX bikes ( I think the poster had a broken knee at the time?) and maybe the boys were not better off being goaded into more and more dangerous behavior.
I was really glad to see the response, because advice is like a shoe. If it doesn't fit, don't wear it. When people ask me for writing advice, I usually start there— that only they can know what advice is good *for them.* For example, as someone committed to stopping to smell the flowers, and therefore constantly behind on everything, I should probably pay more attention to Brittany Spears.
But I find the anti-dusting advice to be insidious in a particular way. It implies that dusting isn't important and doesn't actually need to be done, and by extension, all that work, the laundry, the dishes, the vacuuming, that prevent women from writing, that work isn't worth doing either.
It puts the blame on women for wasting their time on dusting, when they could be doing something that was actually important. Like writing.
Stopping to smell the flowers is great, but you know what else is great? Having food on the table for your kids when it's dinner time. Do I think it's okay to skip meals when I'm writing? Sure, I often do. Did I do that when I had little kids? I did not.
Do I think "women's work" should consume a woman's life? I do not. Do I think that work is important? I do, I really do.
We say "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy," but we don't tell Jack to just blow off his job. Instead we get the incessant worst case scenario: Starving Artist, Starving Artist, Starving Artist.
It's only women's work that is so trivial that you should just stop doing it and write instead and that, I think, is wrong.
I actually needed to hear all of this today, so thank you.
It's not that people are incorrect when they say homeschoolers are weird, it's that they get the brand of weird wrong. Sure some of them might be "papa bade us never have mirrors in the house lest we give into the Sin of Vanity" but you're more likely to be confronted by an eleven-year-old carting around a huge collection of Norse Sagas in translation. She can spell synagogue. She plays rugby. She talks just a little bit too much like an adult in a way that is just slightly uncanny. She primarily watches TV from the '70s. She has an intimate knowledge of whisky because her parents tell her about it. She is wearing a mismatched shirt and skirt. That's the one bit people are spot on about.
She's @ontologicalmoki
GBBO: “A s’more is basically just an Italian merengue sandwiched between two ganache-covered digestives”
Americans:
in case anyone in wondering, this is Paul Hollywood's idea of a s'more
You know what, their absolute inability to grasp Mexican foods makes more sense every day
Nodding my head in support of the Americans despite having no clue what a s’more is.
Okay, American immigrant to the UK here to explain all the mistakes from Paul Hollywood happening here: there is one fundamentally American ingredient required to make a s'more correctly but which is basically not available anywhere at all in the UK, and that is graham crackers. A plain digestive biscuit close-ish, but still a very different beast.
From Wikipedia: A graham cracker is a sweet flavored cracker made with graham flour.
The next ingredient (which is also extremely traditionally American but slightly more variable) is typically Hershey's chocolate, but you could probably swap this out in the UK with any plain chocolate bar.
Last ingredient is big marshmallows, the kind you do the chubby bunny challenge with, like the size of your thumb and twice as thick.
A proper s'more, the most traditional possible variety, involves to graham cracker squares, two slab segments of Hershey's chocolate, and one to two marshmallows depending on your preference for filling and gooeyness. You put a slab of chocolate on one of the graham cracker squares. Your marshmallows should be toasted, usually over a campfire but if you're doing them at home over a gas stove burner is fine, but the fire part is critical. You can toast them to whatever degree you like, some people like them nice and golden brown but still kind of firm in the middle, me personally? I want that bitch to CATCH ON FIRE, I want it gooey and sticky as hell in the middle, crispy and burnt on the outside. Slap that motherfucker on your graham cracker and chocolate square, top with the other one so your marshmallow and chocolate are sandwiched together by graham cracker on the outside. You do this with your freshly toasted marshmallow because ideally it will be hot enough to start to melt the chocolate so it sticks to the marshmallow and the graham cracker and, combined with the gooey marshmallow, it keeps the whole thing together, and for that reason some people will let them sit for a hot second to let the melting process happen (especially if like me you have chocolate on BOTH graham cracker squares, not just one, because you're a sugar fiend), but if you are a young child you do not have that degree of patience and you eat that shit immediately, unmelted chocolate and all. Consume your summer camp delight like a tiny club sandwich, get gooey sticky marshmallow and chocolate all over your hands, and enjoy.
Important note: this is a kids treat. It is a traditional summer camping trip dessert. It should be something any ten year old with adult supervision and access to the ingredients can make (and make a mess of). They're called s'mores because kids always "want s'more". If you are using a blowtorch, chocolate biscuits, and merengue, you are so far beyond the bounds of s'more-hood that you have thoroughly lost the plot. If you offered Paul Hollywood's concoction to an American child and called it a s'more, they'd tell you flat out that not only is it not a s'more, it looks dumb and you didn't do it right because it's not gooey.
the point is the mess. the point is getting to make a food, at age seven, whose two basic food groups are 'sugar' and 'fire'. the other point is that this food item is so crumbly, chaotic, sticky, on fire, and prone to being dropped (outside, in the dark, while you are surrounded by other children who are also sticky and on fire) that your supervisors cannot accurately monitor how many smores you personally have consumed. the point is also that you may get away with a smore that is five blocks of chocolate and two marshmallows if you move fast and let nothing stop you.
if you haven't accidentally yet unrepentantly eaten a chunk of twigs or dirt or a bug that got enmeshed in the creative process around smore number 3st, you are too old to have any legitimate input into what makes a smore.
Murrica.
So apparently Tumblr ate my original post about this but:
A couple weeks ago I’m going to get lunch and as I open the fridge, my mother attempts to communicate to me that any chicken currently in the fridge is ok for people to eat, because the chicken that was intended for the dog to eat has been used up.
What she actually says is, “That’s human chicken.”
After taking a minute to process all horrible implications of the phrase “human chicken”, I decide to go a different route and hold the tupperware of chicken out to my sister, saying, “Behold, a man!”
This was evidently the wrong choice, as it meant I had to explain to my parents who Diogenes was, thereby cementing the incident in their minds and leading to me, just now, opening the fridge to see the following incredibly cursed image:
This is the funniest post I have ever read on Tumblr for so many…many reasons.
[ID: A Tupperware container of shredded chicken labeled “human”. End ID]
@arewebeholdingaman
yeah sure why not
Cats getting caught doing crimes
it takes quite a bit of social intelligence for a creature to understand:
I know what I am doing is wrong
I know there is an activity that looks similar that is not wrong
If I am quick I can plausibly pass one off as the other
these cats are displaying remarkable theory of mind skills by not only registering that the humans can perceive them but actively trying to manipulate that perception! that requires one to be aware that other individuals have complicated interior thoughts of their own, to know that those thoughts are not always based on truth, and to quickly decide on the best possible “lie” for the situation. this is why I despise animal intelligence tasks based on obedience— some of the most clever moments stem from intelligent disobedience.
let’s lay on mama
#hope
#if I went to 10-year-old me and told her#"Just wait in a few years you're going to be learning to sail on a tall ship AND fencing AND doing cool stuff in a science lab everyday#I don't know if she'd be flabbergasted or if she'd just say “well duh”
For whatever it's worth, we're all looking at you and saying "well duh".
presented without comment
#‘el pastel promedio tiene tres leches’ es en realidad un error estadístico. El pastel promedio tiene 0 leches. Leches Georg#quien vive en una cueva y absorbe 10.000 leches al día#es un valor atípico qeu no debería haberse contado (via @deathbycoldopen)
I don't speak Spanish but I understand every word
I appreciate 'adn' being preserved in the form of 'qeu', that's absolutely beautiful.
