redwooding

This blog is about Jane Austen, Buster Keaton, Anne of Green Gables, political opinions, and other random stuff.

[memories-of-ancients]

Anthropeum

A daily game that challenges our understanding of human cultures. Ten objects. 5,000 years of human history. Guess where and when each artif

An interesting game where you are presented with 10 artifacts from the MET. You have to place where the artifact is from and what time period it is from. Each artifact scores up to 10,000 points, and you lose points the further away your guess is and how far off in time you are. You can only play once a day. Thanks to @baebeylik for showing this to me.

Today I scored really well. Yesterday ... not so much.

Anthropeum.com · Jun 8 2026 🟩🟦🟦🟩🟩🟩🟥🟦🟦🟩 79,001 · top 3% of players today!

[motherfuckingnazgul]

oh this is extremely fun. i did NOT do all that well but i can see myself getting good. i will be doing this regularly.

Anthropeum.com · Jun 8 2026 🟩🟦🟦🟨🟨🟦🟥🟩🟩🟦 68,088 · top 12% of players today!

[emilysidhe]

Anthropeum.com · Jun 9 2026

🟩🟦🟨🟩🟨🟨🟩🟩🟦🟦

69,141 · top 28% of players today!

Not bad!

[perishedoffits]

Anthropeum.com · Jun 9 2026 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟨🟥🟩🟩🟦🟩 64,886 · top 41% of players today!

Best guess: Saint Michael 9509 points

Worst guess: Dish in the shape of a leaf 2152 points

[redwooding]

For @worldhistoryinayear, and anyone else. It was fun, and I scored something like 55,000 points or so.

[wilwheaton]

““Fundamentally the problem here with this whole thing is: How is it that you had Karen Bass was in first place, Spencer Pratt was in second place, and then this other woman was in third place. You would expect these mail-in ballots to kind of meet that same basic pattern,” Vance said. “But somehow we find ourselves in a situation where number one—they’re still receiving ballots, not just counting ballots. And number two—the way they’re coming in just so happens to work out such that the Republican is getting kicked out of the final two, so it’s a Democrat-versus-Democrat runoff.”

—

JD Vance Isn’t Handling Republicans’ Defeat in Los Angeles Very Well

Hey, stupid, just wanted to remind you that – hey, look at me when I’m talking to you, Jeffrey Dahmer Vance – I just want to remind you that Los Angeles has nearly 3 times more registered Democrats than Republicans, we have not elected a Republican this century, and votes are counted from different precincts, as well as mail-in ballots, starting when the polls close. A lot of stupid people voted for Pratt, sure, but vastly more people who aren’t complete idiot mouth breathers did not, because he is an idiot, just like you. 

You know that, you dumb fuck – I swear to god, Jorts Dingus Vance, take your hand out of your pants, stop staring at that couch, and listen to me – you know that this is how elections have been decided for two centuries in America.

And, yes, the loser in this mayoral contest is the incompetent, unqualified, Republican scumbag who everyone in Los Angeles hates as much as we hate you and that rapist piece of shit you work for. Because he is a loser, and no amount of billionaire money or whining about his loss changes that.

You and your toadies don’t lose elections because they are rigged, Jackhole Dipshit Vance; they lose because voters hate you and your party, and everything you represent.

Run along now, and find some other losers to hang out with while the clock ticks down, ever closer to the moment you are a footnote in a history book, a punchline to a joke that wasn’t ever funny to begin with.

[jackiefour]

They know that this is how elections work. They know it. Jerkoff Dumbass Vance knows it. But he is saying it to cast doubt in the public mind on the process. Because they know that the truth doesn’t actually matter. All that matters is that they repeat the lie often enough that it works it’s way into the collective unconscious enough to lay the seeds of doubt. That’s it. That’s why they tell obvious lies over and over again. And the truly, butt-clenchingly annoying part is that this tactic works. It works. The oft repeated lie will become the thing that people think when the topic comes up, and they will stop questioning it (if they ever did). This is what the Republican party has been doing for decades.

So instead of directing this at the Vice Couch-fucker, look straight into the camera and tell anyone and everyone reading this…

THEY ARE LYING. YOU KNOW THEY’RE LYING. REMEMBER THAT THEY ARE LYING.

Also, we all know the age-old truth that “he who smelt it, dealt it.” The Republican Party is accusing the Democratic Party of cheating because the Republican Party is actively trying to cheat. They are trying to stop people from being able to vote, trying to disqualify as many votes as they can, because it’s their only chance at winning.

Republicans lose when everyone votes. <- REMEMBER THAT.

[redwooding]

They are lying.

[thotsandpreyers]

[redwooding]

Definitely sending this around again.

[redwooding]

I knew that George Burns and Gracie Allen were funny, but I didn't know they could dance!

[stealingpotatoes]

i don't know what older adults were on about when they said being a teenager was good <3

[redwooding]

Yes. Who the hell wants to be a teen again?

[janeeyreofmanderley]

Feel really bad about an interaction with a teenager I had today. She mentioned she was now taking special classes to get her a levels. She never went to the kind of school that preps you for university over here (Germany) but realised she wanted to study after all which is great I think and I have mad respect for her efforts.

I asked her what she would like to study.

History. She wants to study ancient history (so far no knowledge of Greek or Latin) and become a curator of a museum.

I mean I love the idea! But also I had a bunch of friends who studied history hopibg to become curators. One is now organising office team events, one works at the supermarket, one is taking extra classes to become a teacher though she hates teaching, one has a 30% job at a publisher and had to move back in with his parents cause he can't afford rent.

All of them had good degrees, one even a spectacular one and a phd. but there are no jobs. not wihtout connections.

So I told her that. I stressed how absolutely cool I thought the idea was and I wish she would be able to do it, but begged her to cconsider planning in a way that leaves her wiht more hopeful job prospects.

It felt aweful. she was so disppointed but seems to take it to heart.

I don#t want that I want people to study what they are passionate about- so not sure should i have said sth? Her family has no academia experience so I thought she shoudl get the perspective but it feels bad.

[redwooding]

It does feel bad to think you crushed someone's dreams. However, you are entirely correct. The academic job market has been bad for decades, and now it's worse than terrible. The social sciences, broadly conceived (thus including museum studies) have so, so few jobs. And you have personal experience - several friends who couldn't find jobs. What you did was better than saying, "No problem! Go do it!" and watching her fall off a financial cliff 5-10 years from now.

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[drtanner]

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

[redwooding]

Mine, too.

[worldhistoryinayear]

World History in a Year (Week 23) - 600s BC

If the 700s BC were a time of political and religious change in Western Asia, with the rise of imperial power in Assyria contrasted by new ethical movements challenging the rule of force, the 600s BC illustrate a period of economic transformation across Eurasia. The most pivotal of these transformations was the simultaneous invention of coinage on both sides of Asia, in central Anatolia and in China.

The existence of money long predated the invention of coinage: cowrie shells, for example, had been long used in China, and Bronze Age long-distance trade in the Mediterranean had used large bars of metal for transactions. But coinage provided money with a defined value that was under government control, in small, portable units. (It’s also incredibly convenient to archaeologists once people start putting names and dates of rulers on it.)

Central Anatolia was an appropriate and predictable place for the invention of coinage: it had large quantities of gold and silver, and its kingdoms, though not close to being peers of Assyria militarily or politically, were legendarily rich. The Greek legend of Midas was drawn from a Phrygian king, Mita, in the 700s; Lydian rulers included Gyges (600s BC), attributed a mythical ring granting invisibility, and Croesus (500s BC), subject of the phrase “as rich as Croesus”. While the legends about these rulers were legends, they were real kings, and were remembered with images of wealth and treasure. The earliest coins in central and western Anatolia, from the late 600s BC, were made of electrum, an alloy of gold and silver. This was of course incredibly valuable; you wouldn’t be going to the market and doing your grocery shopping with an electrum coin. The coins were round, with images of animals on them; some from Ephesus also had writing.

Pictures from Wikipedia:

Coin of Alyattes of Lydia, showing lion's head, c. 620/10–564/53 BC

Electrum coin of Phanes from Ephesus; at left, stag with text inscription; 625–600 BC

At roughly the same time, and completely independently, China also invented coinage. These coins were bronze, with a standardized spade shape. They were mass-manufactured in the world’s oldest known coin mint, which was located in the state of Zhou, the seat of the (much-reduced in power) Zhou monarch. (Picture from Wikipedia) 

It’s interesting that the origin of coinage is not associated with great powers, but, in Anatolia, with states on the edge of a much greater empire, and in China, with a residual kingdom that had lost most of its power in the previous century. It suggests rulers seeking to assert their power in new ways in a context where their actual power faced significant limits.

Coinage came alongside other economic changes in China. Just as the Late Bronze Age Collapse led to the increased use of iron in Western Asia, the fall of the Zhou Dynasty did the same in China. 

China's iron manufacturing process differed from Western Asia. Iron requires far higher temperatures to melt than bronze does, and technology in western Asia and Europe could not achieve those heats; they instead relied on melting away all the impurities out of the iron, and then shaping the solid iron via blacksmithing. China, however, had long experience with very high-temperature furnaces for pottery and bronze production, and so developed cast iron, a process of melting iron to mass-produce goods. Cast iron required substantial purification after the initial melting in order to get a good-quality product, and those steps were only developed gradually over the centuries; but its invention enabled large-scale use of iron for agricultural tools, substantially increasing China’s food production. (Bronze had been too valuable to be widely used for everyday tools.) Additional increases to agricultural production during this period came from more widespread use of oxen and water buffalo for plowing; better irrigation; broader cultivation of soybeans; and new varieties of rice and millet. 

So political disintegration was accompanied by technological and economic innovation - and also by political innovation. Whereas the Zhou had entrusted certain regions and government functions to particular noble families, the states of Qi (on the Shandong Peninsula in the east) and Chu (in the south, between the Yellow and Yangtze Rivers) became more centralized, with the central government directly controlling appointments of officials and regional governors. Some government appointments also became more merit-based.

Another change in China was increased private trade, as there were now many small states interacting with each other; under the Zhou, trade had been managed by the state as a ritual of gift and tribute. Road and canal networks were expanded, because efficient transportation was an asset in warfare; but this also facilitated commerce.

Expansion of trade likewise occurred in other areas of the world. Two examples where inter-regional trade in luxuries enhanced the power of new elites were Saba in Yemen, source of frankincense, and Hallstatt in Austria, source of salt.

Our earliest records of the state of Saba date from the 700s BC. It had a large walled capital, Marib; a written script derived from the Phoenician one; and a large dam to control and channel the waters from monsoon rains and use them for agricultural irrigation. Frankincense, used in religious rituals, was immensely valuable and brought Saba wealth, being trade to the rest of western Asia via camel caravans through the desert. Saba was likely the country referred to as Sheba in the Biblical story of Solomon and the Queen of Sheba. If Solomon was a real figure, he would have ruled much earlier, in the 900s BC – but much of the Old Testament was being written in the 600s BC, so it seems probable that the writers projected Saba’s existence back in history.

The wealth of Hallstatt in Austria came from the salt trade with states to the south. Salting was one of the main methods for preserving meat, and Hallstatt had substantial deposits of rock salt that could be mined and sold to other peoples across Europe. Hallstatt's people became wealthy off the salt trade: they had bronze and even gold goods buried with them, as well as amber from the Baltic and finely-made pottery and glass.

By the end of the century trade links went all across Europe: in addition to trade with Hallstatt, Greeks had a trading colony at Marseilles, receiving furs and food in return for artisanal goods and wine, and the Phoenicians continued to obtain silver from their colonies in Spain. Concentration of power increased even in more northerly regions, with chiefdoms setting up small realms in Britain, Germany, and Scandinavia.

Mining, and substantial cave exploration, was also taking place in the Appalachian Mountains of North America, where Indigenous people at Salts Cave mined for gypsum and medicinal sulphates. South of there, regional trade in luxury goods had a wide reach in Mesoamerica. The influence of the Olmecs, based on the Gulf Coast of Mexico, stretched northwest to near present-day Mexico City to and east to El Salvador and Honduras. Honduras was the principal source of the Olmecs’ jade, a substance as much valued by them as gold was in Eurasia. 

An even more important development in 600s BC Mesoamerica was the invention of writing and of the Mesoamerican calendar. (There is considerable debate on the topic; this is one of the commonly-proposed scenarios, but not the only one.) The writing and the calendar are seen from the same source: a temple stone inscribed with “1-Earthquake” at the Zapotec site of San José Mogote. This is the name of a day in the Mesoamerican 260-day ritual calendar, which was combined with a 365-day solar calendar. People were also named for these days, and in this case the writing is likely the name of a person. Around the end of the 600s BC, San José Mogote faced an attack from a rival city-state in which its temple was burned down. When the temple was rebuilt shortly after, the threshold stone was inscribed with an image of a disembowelled man, along with the glyphs “1-Earthquake” – possibly the name a captured enemy killed in retaliation for the earlier attack.

And speaking of warfare, we’ll wrap up this week with Assyria. The course of political and military history in Western Asia during the 600s BC is something of a circle: it begins with the Assyrian sack of Babylon in 689 BC and ends with the Babylonians sacking the Assyrian capital of Nineveh in 612 BC and replacing Assyria as the dominant empire in the region. In between these two events Assyria reached its greatest height of power, conquering Egypt from the Napatans in 671 BC. This may, however, have been an overextension and the beginning of the end for Assyrian power: there were multiple assassination attempts on the Assyrian king Esarhaddon in the same year, and he retaliated with a purge of the nobility. Assyria was never able to hold on to Egypt long despite several follow-up invasions and sackings, and ultimately had to give up. Not long after they finally gave up on Egypt, Babylonia rebelled; the Assyrians subjected it to a devastating siege, and followed it up by sacking Susa, the capital of Babylon’s ally Elam.

The Babylonians, who had never accepted Assyrian rule quietly over more than a century of repeated conquests, rallied and over the period 627-612 BC launched a massive war with Assyria that ultimately destroyed it. In this they had as allies the Medes, a non-state people of the Zagros Mountains in western Iran who had repeatedly clashed with the Assyrians, and united in a tribal confederation for the purposes of the war. The Mede and Babylonian sack of Nineveh was as brutal and as complete as the Assyrian sack of Babylon. It spelled a final end to what has been called the world’s first empire – but the age of ancient empires was only beginning.

Next week will be a summary of what we’ve already covered and a look forward to what’s coming.

[redwooding]

We have some Brutalist buildings on my campus, so as I was mindlessly flipping YouTube shorts, I ran across this one (it's not that short) and paid attention. The guy says the history of Brutalism is way more interesting than you'd think, and he's right. Check it out.

OTOH, just because it fit Berlin in those years doesn't mean it fits everywhere.

[isawken]

everyone please pause and tell me your favorite niche ass color. like let's step out of ROYGBIV for a second and speak in specifics here. im not talking about no "blue" or "purple". i'm talkin' mauve. i'm talkin' celdaon. i'm talking fucking heliotrope

[redwooding]

Look at my Tumblr handle. Three guesses.

[depsidase]

[redwooding]

It may feel dangerous to be queer these days. That's understandable.

Still, it was much, much worse in the past.

[professorspork]

idk how to word this properly but wrt the fanfic thing you reblogged earlier. Why do fanfic writers have such different expectations than any other content hosting platform?

Like lets take youtube as a point of comparison, Engagement like comments and likes largely exists to boost the works place in algorithm, thats why youtubers put in calls to action and other engament bait. Few with decent reach even read the comments and the audience shouldnt try to develop any weird parasocial relationship with the youtuber. Fanfic authors ask for likes (kudos, because the websites gotta use nonstandard language for some reason) and comments despite them not having any impact on an algorithm, and seem to want the audience to try and develop a relationship with the author based on tumblr posts like that one.

Why the radical difference in behaviour away from the norm? And honestly with all the (usually) metaphorical blood spilled online about parasociality why are authors really surprised that the audience tries to keep their distance as is best practice with any other content producer?

okay I am going to answer this as kindly and as calmly as I can and try to assume that you are asking this in good faith. because my friend, the fact that you feel the need to ask is, to me, The Problem.

[this is, for the record, in response to this post]

fanfiction writers are not *posting content.* (I also have reservations about engaging with the term "content producer" or "content creator" but let's put that aside for now, I'll circle back to it.) you say "they seem to want the audience to try and develop a relationship with the author" as though it is strange, off-putting, and incomprehensible to you, when in fact that is the point of writing fanfiction. it is a way of participating in fandom. it is a way of building community and exchanging ideas and becoming closer with people.

if authors wanted to solely ~generate content~ that would get them attention (?? to what end, the dynamic you have described seems to equate algorithmic supremacy as winning for winning's sake, as though all anyone wants to do is BUILD an audience without ENGAGING with them, which I cannot fathom but let's pretend for a moment that is, in fact, true) then like. if that were the case why on earth would they choose a medium in which they categorically cannot succeed and profit, because it isn't their IP?

you are equating two things that are not at all the same thing. to the degree that parasocial relationships are to be avoided, and "that person is not trying to be your friend they are trying to entertain you, please respect their boundaries" is a real dynamic -- which it is!! -- like. you have to understand that the reason that is true for the people of whom it is true is because it is their JOB. they are storytellers by profession, and they are either through direct payment, or sponsorship, or advertising, or through some other means, profiting off of your attention. i don't say this to be dismissive, many wonderful artists and actors and comedians and any number of a thousand things that i enjoy very much go this route but they do so as a *career choice.* and so when you violate the public/private boundary with them, you are presuming to know a Person rather than their Worksona. the people who work at Dropout or who stream their actual play tabletop games or who broadcast on TikTok or YouTube are inviting me to feel like i know them to the degree to which that helps them succeed in their medium and at their craft, but there MUST be a mutual understanding that that's a feeling, not a fact.

however.

a fanfiction writer is not an influencer, not a professional, and is not looking to garner "success." there is no share of audience we are trying to gain for gain's sake, because we are not competition with one another, because there is nothing to win other than the pleasure of each other's company. we are doing this for no other reason than the love of the game; because we have things we want desperately to say about these worlds, these characters, these dynamics, and because we *want more than anything to know we are not alone in our thoughts and feelings.* fanfiction is a bid for interaction, engagement, attention, and consideration. it is not meant to be consumed and then moved on from because we are NOT paid for our work, nor do we want to be. the reward we seek is "attention," but attention as in CONVERSATION, not attention as in clicks. we are not IN this for profit, or for number-go-up. there is no such thing: legally there cannot be. we are in this because we want to be seen and known.

like. please understand. i am now married to someone i met because of mutual comments on fanfiction. our close friend and roommate, with whom i have cohabitated for over a decade now, is someone I met because of mutual comments on fanfiction and livejournal posts. that is my household. beyond my household, the vast majority of my closest personal friends are people with whom I built relationships in this way.

you ask why fanfiction writers want THIS and not "the norm," but the idea of everything being built to cater to an algorithm to continue to build clout, as though the only method of reaching people is Distant Overlord Creator and Passive Receptive Audience being "the norm" is EXTREMELY NEW. this is not how it has always been!! please think of the writers of zines in a pre-internet fandom, using paper and glue and xerox to try and meet like-minded people in a world that was designed for you to only ever meet people in person, by happenstance, in your own hometown. imagine the writers of the early internet, building webrings from scratch to CREATE a community to find each other, despite distance. imagine livejournal groups, forums, and -- yes, indeed, of course -- comment threads IN STORIES -- as places where people go to *converse.* in the past, we had an entire Type Of Guy that everyone knew about, the BNF ("Big Name Fan") whose existence had to be described via meme because it was SO DIFFERENT THAN THE NORM. treating fellow fans like celebrities or people too cool for the regular kids to know was an OUTLIER, and one commonly understood to lead to toxicity.

in the past, I have likened writing fanfiction to echolocation. i am not screaming because I like hearing the sound of my own voice, though i can and do find my voice beautiful. i am screaming so that the vibrations can bounce back to me and show me the world. the purpose is in the feedback. otherwise it is just noise.

does this make any sense? can you see, when i describe it that way, why an ask like yours makes me feel despair, because it makes us all sound so horribly separate from one another?

perhaps I will try another metaphor:

a professional chef who runs a restaurant will not have her feelings hurt if you never fight your way into the kitchen to personally tell her how much you enjoyed the meal. that would, indeed, violate a boundary. professional kitchens are a place of work, and you have already showed her you enjoyed the meal by paying for it, or by perhaps spreading your enjoyment by word of mouth to your friends so they, too, can have good meals. you show your appreciation by continuing to come back. if a bunch of people sitting around randomly happen to have a conversation about how much they love the food, it wouldn't hurt that chef's feelings to not be included in the conversation. however: EVEN IN THIS INSTANCE, it is ADVISABLE AND APPROPRIATE to leave a good review! you might post about how much you like this restaurant on Yelp, and it would probably make the chef feel great to see those positive comments. but the chef doesn't NEED them, because the chef is, again, *also being paid to cook.* that's why she started the restaurant, to be paid to cook!

i am not being paid to cook.

i am at home in my own kitchen, making things for a community potluck where i hope everyone will bring something we can all enjoy together. some people at the potluck are better bakers, some better cooks; some can't cook at all but are great at logistics and make sure there's enough napkins for everyone; some people come just to enjoy the food, because that's what the party is for. and if I, as this enthusiast chef who made something from my heart for this reason alone, learned after the fact that a bunch of people got together in the parking lot to rave about my dish but no one of them had ever bothered to tell me while I sat alone at my table all night, occasionally seeing people come by to pick up a plate but never saying anything to me -- of course that would bother me, because I am not otherwise profiting off the labor I put in. this is not a bid to be paid, because if someone WERE to say "hey, great cake!! here's five bucks for a slice" i would say no, friend, that is not the point and give them the money back. i'm not trying to Get Mine. I am in it to see the look on your face. I'm in it so you can tell me what about it moved you, so that I can say back what moved me to make it in the first place. so we can TALK about it.

because what happened in the first place is this: one time I had a cake whose sweetness, richness, flavor, intensity, and composition moved me so much that I *taught myself to bake.* so I could see how much vanilla and sugar was too much, so I could learn how to make things rise instead of fall flat, so I could even better appreciate the original cake by seeing for myself the effort and talent and inspiration that goes into making one even half as good.

learning to do so is a satisfying accomplishment in and of itself, yes.

but I also did it because at the end of the day we should EAT the cake. and it's a lonely thing, to eat alone when a meal was always designed and intended to be shared.

so, to answer your last question: i'm not surprised, i'm just sad. because somehow two things that were never meant to be seen as the same have been labeled "content," and thus identical. and it diminishes both the things that ARE intended to be paid for AND the things that are not, because it removes any sense of intimacy or meaning from the work.

i hope you know i'm not mad at you for asking. but i'm frustrated we've come to live in a world where the question needs to be asked, because the answers are no longer intuitively obvious because we're so siloed.

[redwooding]

This is a great analysis of capitalist culture and how it contrasts with the purposes of fandom.

[odyver]

alright I've got to do some quick math to explain attitudes towards AI to my boss.

we're looking to create an AI policy, and when we were talking about this, my boss (older millennial) was genuinely shocked to hear that younger people do not (seem) to view AI positively (a la the recent commencement speakers being booed)

please rb for larger sample size!

Question 1/3

What is your age, and do you feel AI is a net positive or net negative in our lives today?

under 18, AI is a net positive

under 18, AI is a net negative

18-29, AI is a net positive

18-29, AI is a net negative

30-45, AI is a net positive

30-45, AI is a net negative

46-60, AI is a net positive

46-60, AI is a net negative

over 60, AI is a net postive

over 60, AI is a net negative

Remaining time: 10 hours 30 minutes

[odyver]

Question 2/3

How often do you visit or interact with museums/archives (whether in person or online)?

Frequently (multiple times per month)

Often (multiple times per year)

Occasionally (a couple times per year)

Rarely (once every couple of years)

Never :(

Remaining time: 10 hours 40 minutes

[odyver]

Question 3/3

If you saw a museum was using AI in exhibits, marketing, research, etc., would you be more or less inclined to visit that museum?

under 18, more inclined

under 18, less inclined

18-29, more inclined

18-29, less inclined

30-45, more inclined

30-45, less inclined

46-60, more inclined

46-60, less inclined

over 60, more inclined

over 60, less inclined

Remaining time: 10 hours 45 minutes

Thank you for helping with this data collection. Please rb for as big a sample as possible!

🫶

[connieboldheart]

I love making these - let me know in comments/reblogs where you'd sit! :)

[do-not-u-dare]

9. 3 is the worst choice btw

[teaboot]

1-Any of the 3 seats around 1 WILL have bare Gollum ass foot and taint on them at some point. Those seats appear empty but are in fact occupied by his various alternate identities

2- Seems innocent enough, and Frodo will mostly keep to himself, but Sam will absolutely be waking you up getting him granola bars and shit out of their carry-ons. Will also meanmug you if you try to get up to use the bathroom. Gollum will also be leaning in and hanging over your shoulders whenever he takes a break from kicking the seat.

3- Out of the question, unless you are 7-19 year old extrovert and/or have nothing to lose. WILL clap when the plane lands. WILL eat your crackers if you’re asleep when the flight attendant comes around. Very little consideration for personal space. Theatre kids welcome.

4- It’ll be a long silent flight and they’ll both be courteous and polite but there will absolutely be a heavy third-wheel sort of tension, like they’re too nice to say anything but would be way happier if you weren’t there. Your only chance is to offer to switch seats so they can hold hands, but Aragorn WILL take a nap at some point and he WILL talk in his sleep. Also, if you switch for the aisle seat you will need to keep in mind that Legolas is absolutely going to recline his own chair directly on top of you.

5- Eomir is a sleep mask and headphones type of guy, and the window will remain closed. Eowyn’s longing glances to the right may be overlooked, but she’s also the type to monologue at increasing volume if you get to chatting and reach a topic she’s passionate about. Seat 5 is my personal choice, as it presents the lowest possible chance of waking up to a makeout sesh on either side OR a missing eyebrow.

6- Depending where the relationship dynamic is at at this point, it’s a coin toss between “Grandpa’s War Stories” and 8 straight hours of “I’m Not Touching You”, “Stop Hitting Yourself” type shenanigans on both sides. Also, putting the Dwarf in the window seat was a bad idea. You KNOW he gets airsick, and placing him in a corner directly between the only three elves was an act of direct biological warfare on the side of the airline.

7- Not the worst choice, as long as you don’t ask any questions about the family. Boromir is the type to share his political opinions at length unprompted, though, and responding in any way will only make it worse.

8- You are not cool enough to sit here.

9- This is an aisle seat, which is good, because you can get up to fake a bathroom visit when the vibes get too bad. Feels like going on a road trip with your dysfunctional parents only for them to announce their turbulent and resentful impending divorce mid way through. When it’s good, Galadriel and Gandalf will lean around you for a catty bitch sesh without you, which will also be bad, but at least you can listen in on the hottest gossip. Only gets worse when the edible Gandalf pops at take-off finally kicks in.

[katherinetheok]

why in 17 kinds of fuck did tumblr tag this as having potentially mature content?

[redwooding]

I've never been cool, and accepting that, plus getting older, means I don't care that I'm not cool (Geezer's Paradox - look it up) so I'm definitely sitting between the wise and powerful Lord of Rivendel and his even wiser and more powerful mother-in-law. I won't mention his dead wife - her dead daughter - but I'm sure I'll blow it in some other stupid human way with my annoying questions.

[inkskinned]

how many times have you heard i want to kiss girls but it's scary. you have said those words, even. you flinch but you still do feel it - kissing men is easier, dating men is easier. there is already a social contract about it. a republican's wet dream; you had been socially conditioned to "know" what to do, even if it has never explicitly been described to you. the man and the woman get together, end of story.

you want women, of course. you want them, badly. and sometimes you wonder about that. is it because a man isn't real to you? this thing you have with men - is it only easier because you wouldn't have to change anything? your parents can pretend you're "straight", no matter how many times you exit the closet or say i'm at least half gay.

are you just... afraid?

because what if it's not true. what if kissing girls is just as easy - better, even - than kissing boys. what if dating girls means there's no weird subtle power imbalance; means that your life is full of laughter and love.

or maybe it's because if men don't find you attractive - well, okay, whatever. they can choke. you don't exist to make men happy, certainly. you can shave your head and let your leg hair grow out and dye your eyebrows because fuck what men think.

but what do women want? what if you try as hard as you can and you are not what women want? or worse - what if they do want you, but you have no idea how to treat them? certainly dating a woman is not dating a man; and you only have the manual (ha!) for one kind of relationship. everyone at this queer bar probably has kissed and hooked up and knows interesting positions to fold other women into. they've probably had sex in the bathroom and know where to slide their fingers into.

logically you know every body is different. there is no singularly correct way to have sex or kiss or love anyone of any gender. you know some people need to suck toes or do gymnastics or picture wife-roaches. so how hard could it be, really.

but you tell yourself - well, the dating pool is smaller. you have heard so many wlw horror stories from your friends - like their exes randomly appearing at a party, or the time three of your friends all accidentally dated the same person at once. and your lesbian friend warns you - wlw breakups hit harder.

and it's not like you're unhappy. you are happy, certainly. the man you're with now might genuinely be the love of your life. he paints his nails and likes bugs and treats you like a princess.

but still. in the late night, you feel your heart stutter. because what if it isn't really that difficult. what if you're just creating false assumptions in your head in order to fit a fear-based narrative. what if this is your internalized homophobia; what if it's heteronormativity; what if you're the only thing stopping you. what if those rules don't exist, and you're imagining scenarios so that you never take a risk.

what if.

[redwooding]

While I'm a straight guy, I'm also a historical social scientist, so I can add a very specific kind of support to this message.

It may be, under your current social circumstances, that it is in fact harder to love women than than it is to love men. You're surrounded by people who know and approve of the script outlined above. They know the rituals and the skills. They range from looking askance to outright condemning women loving women, so it feels unsafe to say anything or to act on your feelings.

You could grow into yourself with the support of a community. If you give yourself a chance (especially online), you can absolutely find a community of women who love women. They approve of this, they will accept you, they'll support you, and they'll be happy to teach you the rituals, the skills, and anything else. The kissing could actually come a little later. Then it will be easier socially, not just inside yourself, to be who you are, to live the life you want, and to find a woman (or women) to love.

I know here on Tumblr we're preaching to the choir, by and large, but there have to be at least a few who need this message - who are young, curious, and scared - which is why OP posted it.

Just start looking for people like yourself. It'll get easier.

[yesornopolls]

do you keep your glasses on when you eat?

Do you keep your glasses on when you eat?

Yes

No

See results

Voting ended onJun 4

[redwooding]

Why isn't there a "sometimes" option? My answer is "sometimes on, sometimes off."

[mousegirlheart]

I WANT MARRIAGE EQUALITY NOW

SURE, I CAN LEGALLY MARRY MY WIFE RIGHT NOW, BUT IN DOING SO BOTH OF US WILL HAVE OUR DISABILITY BENEFITS CUT AND WE WILL THEN BE STRUGGLING FINANCIALLY.

THAT IS MARRIAGE INEQUALITY

WE, AS DISABLED PEOPLE, ARE PREVENTED FROM BEING MARRIED OR WE WILL BE FUCKED FINANCIALLY

I WANT TO MARRY MY WIFE

THIS IS UNFAIR

[katherinetheok]

one of the many, many ways that the system is stacked against the disabled, and against vulnerable groups more generally because the same restrictions apply to things like food stamps and medicaid, too.