Welcome to Super Hell

heeheehoohoo

[phantomrose96]

[copperbadge]

I cannot get this poem out of my head. It haunts me. Joyously, it haunts me. 

[lesbianshepard]

waaaay back when I was a cashier in retail we would talk about dumb shit while unloading the truck, and we got to the "what would you do in a zombie apocalypse" me and another worker were like yeah we would just die. End it all, we can't fight or run or shit. I refuse to put that much effort into survival.

And my manager was like no!!!! If that happened, I would drive to find you guys in my truck and we could eat stuff from my wife's garden and I would make sure everyone I know survived!! I would carry you all on my shoulders away from the zombies!!

Anyway, random shout out to that guy. You were too kind for retail management, Devin.

[lesbianshepard]

also afterwards everyone who was talking about their cool bunker fantasies were like "Damn, Devin's right, we should also be considering helping people around us." which is the only recorded instance of a retail shift making people better human beings.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[jmtorres]

“buttercups” is a name applied to MANY flowers. in my part of the south it was this one:

imo there’s correct identifications of dandelions, daffodils, easter lilies and marigolds in this thread, but buttercups are simply impossible to agree on and the only solution is for everyone to post pictures of their local buttercups

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

[demon-and-human]

Hello I would like to add to the confusion:

That purple fella is a Morning Glory as told by my mothers (texan)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

⬆️ morning glory

[huehueiamabaguette]

wait so if thats morning glory what is this?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[delphinidin4]

*Puts hand over gaud’s mouth* It’s a butterfly pea. Please ignore the Latin name.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*licks ur palm* i won’t be silenced THE PEOPLE HAVE TO KNOW

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[jmtorres]

“buttercups” is a name applied to MANY flowers. in my part of the south it was this one:

imo there’s correct identifications of dandelions, daffodils, easter lilies and marigolds in this thread, but buttercups are simply impossible to agree on and the only solution is for everyone to post pictures of their local buttercups

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

[demon-and-human]

Hello I would like to add to the confusion:

That purple fella is a Morning Glory as told by my mothers (texan)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

⬆️ morning glory

[huehueiamabaguette]

wait so if thats morning glory what is this?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[delphinidin4]

*Puts hand over gaud’s mouth* It’s a butterfly pea. Please ignore the Latin name.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*licks ur palm* i won’t be silenced THE PEOPLE HAVE TO KNOW

[kristina100000]

incredible picture found on the interwebs i had to share with everypony

[scramratz]

“If men could get pregnant, abortion would be free” men CAN get pregnant and they’re treated worse than women who can get pregnant

[scramratz]

oh folks really don't like being asked to consider trans men

[silvermoon424]

Bro absolutely COOKED with this.

EDIT: Y'all OOP is not whitewashing and brushing past the crimes of the fucking Taliban, they're simply pointing out that unlike the American elite- who have never suffered a day in their lives- terrorists like the Taliban usually go through some radicalizing event caused by poor life circumstances. That absolutely does not excuse or condone the horrible things they do, of course.

Also, Somali pirates and the Taliban were explicitly mentioned because this comment is in response to a couple of their former hostages saying said groups supplied them with soap and toothpaste, which the US government refuses to give to migrants. You can stop misinterpreting and derailing this post now, thanks.

[titleknown]

Trump Moves to Deeply Censor the Entire Internet

The Trump administration is cynically exploiting calls for stricter AI regulation to pass broad censorship measures at the federal level.

So, in terrible news, Trump's trying to pull some strings to pass this massive internet censorship bill, featuring all the kinds of internet censorship we're terrified of, including mandatory ID for accessing basically any website, specifically to crush state regulation of AI, because apparently this man will always see the moral bottom of the barrel and start digging.

So, if you live in the US and hate censorship and AI you know what to do, contact your congresspeople and tell them do not fucking dare let this through or so help us god...

[titleknown]

IMPORTANT UPDATE: The bastards just worked out a deal on the package, and they're going to try and ram it through the House in the next couple of weeks.

So, if you've been waiting to call, the time is NOW. Do it ASAP, be polite, be informed, but light up those phones like a Christmas tree!

[silvermoon424]

I watched some videos by that guy who set up a fake ICE hotline to get people to snitch on members of their community. Not only is this very real and useful praxis- he's preventing these ghouls from reaching the real ICE- he also handles the calls in a really amazing way.

For the most part, he doesn't make accusations or insults people, he just repeats back the appalling shit they're telling him. And they get fucking furious. The example that went viral was him fielding a call from a kindergarten teacher who wanted to report one of her student's parents.

This absolutely disgusting piece of shit thought that the parents were "illegals" who were "taking up resources" because they weren't born in the US. The child was a US citizen because he was born here, but she wanted the "ICE" agent to "look into it."

So this dude just starts repeating stuff back like "so you want me to load the parents of the 5-year-old child you teach into a van and deport them, right?" and this bitch has the gall to say "you make it sound terrible 😅" in a self-conscious way. And then when he finally makes a more direct insult by nonchalantly saying that the 5-year-old "must be a major threat to national security," she demands to speak to his supervisor (which he agrees to and then makes no effort to change his voice for lmao).

This is far from the only call where the whole "repeat their rhetoric back to them" tactic pisses the caller off, too. As rotten, immoral, and disgusting as these ghouls are, I believe there's a tiny part of them that is aware of how fucked up their beliefs and behavior are. Being forced to confront that leads to painful cognitive dissonance and they'd rather lash out at the person who criticized them than look inward and do some self-reflection. Forcing people to confront their own cognitive dissonance of "I'm a good person" clashing with "I have objectively gross and harmful beliefs" is useful, even if it will never go anywhere.

[helenvaughans]

"crime" for conservatives is basically just existing in public as a person of color

[wizardarchetypes]

like logically ofc i know my sleep disorder is indeed a disorder but it's still crazy to me that i have been taking my sleep meds every single night without fail for 3 months now, and as a result i have been sleeping by midnight and THROUGH the night every single night without fail for three months. but tonight i forgot to take it on time and now it's almost 3 am and i'm awake. it doesn't matter how long i stick to a rhythm, i will no magically become a healthy sleeper. these meds are genuinely life saving.

absolutely bonkers and actually MADDENING thinking about spending nearly three DECCAAAAADESSSS of my life believing i could just "fix" my schedule and get my sleep "on track." LMAO. i was up at 4 am when i was 6 years old sneaking downstairs to watch TV in misery bc i couldn't sleep and then i was still 32 YEARSSSS old like "no everyone listen THIS week i'm gonna avoid naps and go to bed on time and then i'll sleep normal from now on. for real this time." AJVBJAS SHUT UP!!!! NO YOU WEREN'T BABY!!!!!!!!! YOU WERE NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO DO THAT!!!!!!

[wizardarchetypes]

i went to my doctor in march and i was like "man you gotta help me. i haven't slept in 75 hours. and i know sometimes people say that but they really mean they've only slept 2 or 3 hours a night for several nights, which is awful of course, but i mean quite literally i haven't slept in 75 hours. and i keep waiting to finally 'crash' but i don't."

and he was like, "has this ever happened to you before?"

and i said, "oh yeah loads of times, since i was a toddler."

and he said, "why are you just now getting help?"

and i said, "well recently when i hit the 60 hour mark i've started hallucinating birds. and that's new."

and he said, "what do you mean, birds?"

and i said, "i don't know, i think they're house sparrows"

and he said, "i didn't mean what kind of birds"

(true that's not what he said but it was hard to parse the nuances of the conversation because there were a bunch of house sparrows in the room)

[parkchanwoohoo]

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

[godisafujoshi]

Then they spit roast me

[parkchanwoohoo]

I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario

[sandersstudies]

Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.

[sandersstudies]

Pathologizing: Hey sorry I yelled at you. I have this ADHD symptom called RSD that makes me really sensitive.

Humanizing: Hey, I’m sorry that I blew up like that earlier. In the moment I felt really attacked and overwhelmed and I reacted badly, but I know you didn’t mean to offend me with what you said, so that behavior is on me.

[queer-asinfuckyou]

Because I just saw a post bitching about this one, I want to add: this post is saying that you need to take accountability for the way you hurt other people, even if it happens because of a symptom of your disability/illness. It's also saying that using terms (especially acronyms) that aren't common knowledge isn't a helpful way to explain yourself. It is NOT saying that you need to let people walk all over you because "your disability isn't an excuse."

If you're diabetic, you don't have to eat the honey glazed ham that will send you into a coma (their example). But you also can't yell at the person offering it and accuse them of trying to kill you. You can just say "thanks, but my body can't handle that kind of sugar intake, so I'll pass"

[ayin-me-yesh]

If you run over someone's foot with your wheelchair you still apologise

[wizardarchetypes]

i wish mosquitos didn't make you itchy and give you horribly infectious diseases. i wouldn't begrudge them a humble nibble were it not so

[boozehund-blog]

ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

[wolfprud3-deactivated20170620]

FUCK this post and happy birthday sonic

[bitterblackboricua]

[julie-su]

Of course, it’s Sonic’s birthday today! (23rd of June)

[doubleca5t]

All these tourists having a great time at the World Cup isn't surprising b/c the first rule of America is that this place rules if you have money to blow and it's a nightmare if you don't. The prohibitively high cost of attending the World Cup filtered out all the ppl who don't have money so all the people who actually made it to the U.S. are basically guaranteed to have fun

[doubleca5t]

America hates the broke and woke and so every rich chud from abroad who comes over here goes home singing our praises. Tale as old as time.

[reunitedinterlude]

stalking him until he loves you, right guys!