Matterhorn Miffy

Here there be dolphins.

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

i was feeling silly at the gas station today so i said to the cashier that i’ll take my gas “to go” and i could see her imagining what it would be like to jump over the counter and strangle me to death

[eixd-deactivated20150710]

The rest of the space is going to be pretty pissed when they see this. 

[thesassycat]

did you google how to take a screen shot

[mikufanclub]

remember when teachers would tell you to fold paper hamburger or hotdog style. kind of sounds like some fake shit but just another example of burger centric american thinking

[mikufanclub]

non americans in the tags doubting if this is true. you think burger is a fucking joke to us??

[pansyfemme]

it really is crazy how there are so many influencers with millions of followers i have never heard of in my life

[pansyfemme]

every day someone is like ‘have you heard about the situation with johnny youtube?’ and i go. pardon. who the hell is that

[hungwy]

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

[beardedmrbean]

[parkchanwoohoo]

I've posted about this before but back home at my old job I used to get pho so fucking often that the owners of the place stopped asking me what I wanted and stopped handing me menus when I walked in. After I moved to NY and I could only go back to Chicago like once a year, I sat down and they gave me a menu and I was like "Oh no I already know what I want, can I get--" and they were like OHHH #36 WITH EXTRA NOODLES YOU'RE BACK and I almost cried

[zoesupreme]

well the thing is that's an extremely reasonable concern

[zinesbycee]

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

[rimonoroni2]

love how heathers was like you cannot fix him. you cannot save his sorry ass. he’s going to blow himself up on the football field and you’re just going to have to live with that, babe!

[bintro]

is anyone else their father’s female son

[etheltempest]

the lioness does not concern herself with how the “pwhl expansion process” works

[angelbumbum]

i am so normal about attachment and not even anxious at all

[phaeton-flier]

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

[phaeton-flier]

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

[theaudientvoid]

[centrally-unplanned]

Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.

And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.

[theabigailthorn]

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

[shhet444]

[thisshitaintnothintomeman]

im moving arbitrarily. im just doing shit

[feldfrog]

As a kid, I wasn’t allowed to touch the hot stove with my bare hands. But now I get to do it whenever I want