chaotic shitposting

em, 30, she/her, fandom & random “everybody’s gay, Kimmy. It’s the 90’s”

[passionpeachy]

They never bring up bisexual boy with lame ass straight girlfriend. what about her

[asiagomitten]

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

[rockstar-vamp]

Don’t spoil the odyssey? Brother you’ve had 3000 years to read it

[toskarin]

I mean you've threatened to kill me a bunch of times. You once told me you were gonna drown me in a river like a kangaroo.

[warm laugh of fond reminiscence] I did do that

[withdreamsofhereafter]

Purple moths

[dishesoap]

okay no fuck you i cant do this sexy canary-in-a-coal-mine roleplay with you if youre gonna keep talkin like tweety bird

[woodmeat]

Are you alive

Don’t ask me no personal shit like this

[willgrahamscock]

ai fatigue

[willgrahamscock]

ai books, fanfics, ai google assist, ai short form content, ai summaries, ai memes, ai artists

[averyfortshire]

I cant even go and see some street food trucks without their damn menus having AI images on it. you have a camera. take photos of your goddamn food. I would rather see a photo of the most weirdly lit burger than the fake monstrosity you're showing me.

[everythingfox]

Paraglider and black vulture chilling

(via)

[theriu]

I NEVER get tired of this video. It would be fantastic if the bird was just flying near him, but the fact it feels safe and comfortable enough to land ON his paraglider, isn't startled when he pets it, and is NIBBLING HIS SHOES... blessed moment, absolutely fabulous, 10/10 gold stars.

[prismatic-bell]

Okay but the bird isn't just nibbling

Note that it doesn't start nibbling until he starts smoothing its feathers.

They're grooming each other.

[untitledgoosegay]

This is called parahawking! That vulture is tame -- it’s wearing jesses (a leather tie around the leg that a falconer will use to hold a bird when it’s on the glove). In fact that vulture is employed. Parahawking birds seek out thermals the same way they would naturally, allowing paragliders to follow them in the process.

Vultures are often used for parahawking both because of their attraction to thermals, and because vultures, as scavengers, are comparatively gentler and more sociable than birds of prey!

[mariaalenkoshepard]

I had a dream last night that I was at a coffee shop and there was a drink called ‘fistbumping lesbians’ and it was a seven shot caramel latte

[mariaalenkoshepard]

I start work super early tomorrow so guess who’s gonna make herself a fistbumping lesbians at the start of her shift

[mariaalenkoshepard]

Behold the fistbumping lesbians

Jsyk this thing could wake the dead

[mariaalenkoshepard]

4 hours later: I’m fricken ZAZZED you guys

[mariaalenkoshepard]

Me rn

[infiniteglitterfall]

I did some googling. Apparently Starbucks has more caffeine in their coffee than most places. So a grande drip coffee there is 330 mg of caffeine, instead of 180-230 or whatever.

The articles that I saw mentioning this all cited 400 as the safe daily amount of caffeine, although none of them said why.

The espresso has more too, 89mg instead of 67.

So this drink has 623 mg of caffeine.

Technically, you’d also be going all Blurrily Accelerating Lesbian Skeleton if you had two grande drip coffees there.

But where’s the fun in that?

[mollyjames]

It's really important when you're at work to go out there and really give it your 60%. Maybe 35%.

[mollyjames]

Shoutout to by far the funniest tags on this post

[beautyembrace]

2 step guide to having a beach body!

1) Have a body.

2) Take it to the beach!

[heidi8]

There is a very important step missing. 

1.5) Put sunscreen on the body.

[heidi8]

Annual Reblog. Stay safe!

[blanq]

tumblr glitched and now there’s just a guy in the void

[daughter-of-prospero]

Wile E. Coyote, two milliseconds before he lights a match only to reveal he's surrounded by flammable traps he himself has set and the whole website explodes

[bophia]

Daily affirmations for tesla owners: your car is ugly as hell and everyone hates you

[lowpawly]

this is my impression of what it would look like if the toddlers at my job could make traumacore edits about me

[lowpawly]

alright by popular demand here is more toddler traumacore

[electronicmail]

btw with email u dont have to lick the envelope. i know a lot of people have been doing that and its fine and all but you dont acrtually have to do that with email.

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

thats total bullshit officer how was I supposed to know you couldnt drive crossfaded? Give me your fucking gun and ill show you how a real man tongues the inside of the barrel