THE Evil Ferret Overlord @evilferretoverlord - Tumblr Blog

Pro tip: If you're the sort of person who spills hot grease on their phone, also be the sort of person who saves their social media passwords.

#new blog who dis #ask me about my spicy pillow battery

stitchposts

what is your LEAST favorite stitch?

I don't like counted work at fucking all. So: the cross stitch.

rabbitindisguise

reading this as someone who does cross stitch but is scared of the other kinds of embroidery is like overhearing an incredibly tall and buff person say they have beef with Mr. Tom, the kitten that chills at the bookstore

stitchposts

FUCK Mr. Tom and his stupid little fluffy tail ok. And his little charted designs.

the-dragongirl

Okay, but this neglects the true villain of embroidery stitches: the French knot

stitchposts

Don't you dare malign my girl again

im-a-dream-wizard

Ok the french knot is very useful but it is a BITCH to do it consistently

stitchposts

ao3-anonymous

We talk about how this website’s hate mail game is insane, but this might just be a new level

talbatross

"skill issue" made entirely from French knots is a next level roast. no coming back from that one. damn

#embroidery #crafts

miiilowo

whys combat and military gear always got to look so fucking cool when the people wearing them just objectively arent. thats unfair

miiilowo

this goes for like, all of time. knights are serving the KING? the fucking KING?

miiilowo

you cant serve cunt and the government at the same time come on now pick the right side i know you have it in you

vivian-the-barbarian

Jesus said this. Matthew 6:24

miiilowo

jesus said this

demonnstein

#fun with blasphemy #as for me and my house we will serve the cunt

victusinveritas

naamahdarling

WTF this is masterful, 10/10.

marjorierose

Other people have said this in notes, but the Bulwer-Lytton contest involves writing the most absurd opener you can think of and submitting it to the contest. It's not a judgment like the Razzies or the bad sex in books award or something; it's a game. Diana Murtaugh of Baltimore is to be congratulated for this win.

#literature #bulwer-lytton award

surprisemoose

What kind of Millennial™️ are you?

Avocado toast millennial

I am bird watcher now.

I ran a marathon for fun?

Yes, I am currently working on five fiber art projects…

Other millennial stereotype that I will write in the tags.

I am unfortunately not part of the greatest generation aka here for the result

Remaining time: 10 hours 53 minutes

Please share!

#yarn millennial #marathon running millennial

lostinhistory

Solid life advice from Sue the T. Rex.

#Happy Unearth Day #sue the t-rex

homunculus-argument

Did you have a happy childhood, and can you cut onions without crying?

I had a happy childhood and I can cut onions without crying

I had a happy childhood and I can't cut onions without crying

I didn't have a happy childhood and I can cut onions without crying

I didn't have a happy childhood and I can't cut onions without crying

I emerged from a ditch already fully grown/I've never been trusted with a knife

Remaining time: 1 day 1 hour

No nuance, if you had to hesitate at all, the answer is "no".

thetomeoftatteredthoughts

i am waiting for the context behind this one, because its always the most esoteric thing ever

homunculus-argument

There's a specific way of pacing your blinking frequency that you can learn to do to prevent tears from welling up if you can anticipate what, when, and how something is going to make you want to cry. I thought the correlation between knowing how to do that, and having an unhappy childhood, would be stronger than that.

bigtiddygothhubby

You might have confounding variables in people who have alternative methods of "not crying while onioning" - I've heard of chewing gum, goggles/glasses, and freezing the onions before chopping all as home remedies.

There are some varieties of onions that don't release as much of the juices. They also vary spray by freshness.

But I love your science here. I love the idea that I have a secret superpower from my childhood trauma instead of just a bunch of mental illnesses. Keep up the good work.

#tumblr polls #mostly okay childhood #onions are my favorite vegetable #only cry when they're very old onions

buriedsecrets

EVERYBODY STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING

18thcenturythirsttrap

Power cable linking UK and Ireland now passes near Bronze Age human burial remains instead of fictional grave on Welsh beach

I genuinely can't tell you how much I fucking hate Harry Potter fans. I'd hate them for this alone (dumping stones on an ecologically-sensitive site, despite being asked not to, to create a 'grave' for a fictional character - and then getting a power cable diverted away from that 'grave' towards actual Bronze Age graves) - even without the financial and moral support they lend to That Woman's transphobia. All because they "can't" (read: won't) give up some crappy books for kids. Grow the fuck up.

evilferretoverlord

Any heroes want to bring the Kicking Over Unauthorized Cairns trend to the uk?

#archaeology #bronze age #fuck that shitty terf fandom #kick the cairn

bestintrek

Bajoran whale? Trophy taken by a Cardassian and left hung up in the station as symbol of Bajoran strength?

The teeth aren't pointy, it's not a predator. It's something non-violent that the Cardassians took and killed and displayed.

This is from an end of the set they didn't show often, where Sisko enters the Prom if he comes from his quarters.

s1e10 The Nagus (the one when Nog drops out of school and Jake teaches him to read)

respocked

These tags intrigued me enough that I went out to find it. Here it is: the Cardassian Sushi Ad.

#whatever I'm getting cardassian sushi #dax probably put little hats on it for all the different holidays #ds9

spin-the-wheel-polls

You have just lost use of this random kitchen item/ implement how screwed are you in terms of cooking?

https://wheelofnames.com/ry4-3s4

The wheel is completed but if you the mod want to change it at all feel free and I couldn't figure out how to get the link to work properly even un-anoned.

Thanks, have a nice day and drink some water

You have just lost use of this random kitchen item/implement!

how screwed are you in terms of cooking?

I'm not screwed at all surprisingly!

I'm fine because I never use this

It'll be annoying but I'm fine

I'M SO SCREWED. SO SCREWED.

results/other

Voting ended onAug 15

#no recipes #this is mostly fine #most of what I make I've memorized

hellenhighwater

I come into the house with my arms full of stupid stuff, four hours late to feed the cats dinner. The cats are extremely agitated. I rush to put the stuff down in order to feed them.

That's not what they're yelling about. There's a goddam bat loose in the house.

While scrambling to put my stuff down, and put the cats into a bathroom so I could open doors/windows to chase the bat out, I lost sight of the bat. I truly cannot locate this flappy idiot. In an effort to triangulate the bat, I release the cats. They promptly start attacking the broom I was using to try to poke tall areas.