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@exmo-memes
Not so gentle reminder
I am not cis (so at the transphobe(s) in my notes right now: GO AWAY AND DON'T MAKE MY POSTS ABOUT YOUR SHITTY BELIEFS)
Aces belong in the LGBTQIA+ community
Atheism isn't any more provable than any religion
Mormonism isn't the only shitty religion out there, it's just the one I happened to be raised in (this is directed at you radical Christians who reblog my shit but are worse than most Mormons I've met)
mormon kids under the age of 18 being told their church is a cult
mormons 18-24 after they go through their endowment ceremony and receive their new name and secret clothing and learn the secret handshakes and passwords and realize everyone around them has been secretly doing this the whole time and now theyre going to be sent away from their family for 2 years where they will literally not be allowed to be alone for 1 second of the day except to go to the bathroom and they have no idea how to get out of what they just got into
one of the only perks of being a mormon woman is that i didn’t get my endowment at age 19 and i had a little extra time to mature and be out on my own. that’s all i needed to make a clean break and i got out at 21 before i wouldve gotten my endowment.
wait what? can anyone elaborate on this? because I had no idea this was a thing
basically when youre a mormon kid growing up you realize your church is a little strict but you’re like whatever. i have friends at church because i go to church 6 days a week and everyone around me is affirming that this is the right thing to do and we have special knowledge no one else has otherwise everyone would be like this. so youve gotta go teach them & it’s the greatest thing in the world to be a missionary. also the temple is beautiful and amazing and spiritual and holy and everyone wants to go there. but it’s a secret! :) because it’s holy and sacred
then if youre a boy and u turn 18 they’re like wow amazing!!! you get to go on a mission and be like all the great men around you!! and now you get to go through the temple! so #blessed!
and then you go through the temple and all the above mentioned SECRET CULTY SHIT happens (EXPLANATION HERE http://mormoncurtain.infymus.com/topic_templeceremonies.html) and youre shipped off to a strange place where everything you eat, wear, go, listen to and do is controlled, and you’re not allowed to talk to your family or friends (except through a once-a-week email) and you literally are being watched by your companion at all. times.
some might say “you can leave at any time” but consider that i never went on a mission and i never went through the temple and i still consider leaving the mormon church the hardest thing i ever did. you have no social network outside the church. you are lacking major knowledge and skills. you have to grapple with the fact that you may never see your family again.
I’m reblogging this again bc I have Thoughts.
Leaving is such an isolating experience. No one inside wants anything to do with you anymore and no one outside understands the scale of messed up that Mormonism is. Like it’s easy to point and laugh at the ridiculousness, but it’s literally a cult. There’s so much trauma involved and there’s trauma in leaving.
People on the outside don’t understand how hard it is to leave. I grew up where all my friends were catholic and are no longer religious and they’re like “well everyone hates church, you just stop going” but Mormonism isn’t like that at all. For starters I had to get a lawyer involved to leave and then the ostracization from the entire community that nurtured me growing up was just the cherry on top. It’s effectively being shunned. Everyone you were forced to call sister and brother growing up no longer wants anything to do with you. And you deserve it, because you shouldn’t have fallen for the anti-Mormon lies.
Leaving The Church was the hardest thing I ever did and my family accepts me so I’m a lucky one. But they still ardently adhere to the institution that hurt me and has resulted in the deaths of people I love. I will never understand.
“There’s so much trauma involved and there’s trauma in leaving.”
It’s easy for people looking in from the outside to forget this. Thank you for the reminder. Can anyone recommend resources for young Mormons looking to explore their options?
Please note: this post will be directly addressed to those hypothetical young Mormons
If you know you’re ready to leave, use quitmormon.com. It’s run by the guy from reddit who is now famous in exmormon circles for offering absolutely free legal services to anybody who needs help leaving. You can give your church id number if you know it, but it’s not required (I never memorized mine, and I sure wasn’t going to ask for it). He takes care of everything. This keeps TSCC (the so-called church) from getting all your latest info and keeps them from hassling you or harassing you. They have to talk to your lawyer instead. Pre 2015, it felt almost impossible to try to leave, but it’s a lot easier now! The years of picketing General Conference to force an excommunication trial are over!
Find a support system. Lean on your friends that have never been mormon, any family members who left, anyone you know who left. I’m an exmormon happy to answer any questions, and I’m sure there are plenty others in the notes who would be super willing to be supportive too. Exmormon groups are many and varied now, and it’s best to find the one that vibes for you. There’s a subreddit that’s popular, but I personally used - and I know this sounds weird, since I don’t have kids - a forum called Mormonism & More on the site babycenter.com. It was started several years ago by some mormons who had questions they weren’t allowed to ask on the normal mormon board (because that board required uplifting, mormon-approved answers at all times). It’s since shifted to ex-mormons or people who want to leave but can’t right now because of family situations. Even though the threads were years old, I spent weeks on that forum, reading about what other people had gone through and how they got through it, and to me, that was super helpful.
Research the culty stuff at your own peril. I liked learning about that stuff for a really long time, because I felt learning about all those secrets (I especially liked learning about the truth of the Book of Abraham) … it helped me feel valid in my choice. It helped me keep in mind that this was something that I had escaped, something that had wanted to hurt me. Missing your abuser doesn’t mean you should go back, it means you should keep moving forward. Missing your cult has the same solution. Lots of people fell for the “we’re totally not a cult!” line by TSCC. Some of them will not offer sympathy. If you want to watch the hidden camera videos of endowments and other temple stuff, I would super super recommend you have a trusted friend watch them with you. And bring comfort food. You’ll probably need it.
TSCC put out a series of essays on controversial (read: faith-killing, eye-opening, omg how could I have ever supported the people who did this) issues in mormon history. They are the Orthodox LDS pre-approved responses to a lot of the more incriminating accusations that have been leveled at TSCC over the years. They should be hosted on TSCC website somewhere, and would have been posted around or after 2015. They may reaffirm your faith now that you know TSCC’s defense, but they may push you right out the door. (Or break the shelf? Do Mormons still use the shelf analogy, or is that retired now?)
Lots of mormons become atheists after leaving. Many join mainstream xian churches. Some become witches, some study every religion they can get their hands on, some try to go back and realize all the magic (or holy spirit, if you prefer) is gone. Don’t think you have to know right away. Some people throw away or burn all their mormon stuff, some people keep it to show their kids, but again, you don’t have to make that decision right away. Some people call TSCC a cult after they leave, myself included, but you don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable or it it doesn’t feel true to your experience.
Look up religious trauma syndrome. It’s real. The pain you will probably feel is real, the grief you will probably feel is real, and in many ways, you may have to mourn the death of what you were always told Life Will Be For You.
And learn that the world is not half as evil as TSCC told you. Your coworkers who drink a beer at the end of the day are not evil or abusive. Your friends who wear sleeveless shirts are not evil or promiscuous. You’re allowed to wear short shorts! You’re allowed to drink coffee! You’re allowed to ask questions in a faith community without being silenced or condemned! You’re allowed to not want kids! There’s a lot of unlearning here.
TLDR? You have options. You have freedom. Find nonmormon friends who will support you. Be kind to yourself.
People joke about Mormons but this is the first time I’ve seen anything at all directed towards people who need to get out.
I had a high school friend turned college roommate who left, moved 4 hrs away, and I had to lie to people who showed up repeatedly that he wasn’t home. That’s just the smallest outside perspective of this. They kept coming.
It is a cult. It operates by manipulating people. My aunt, who also left, converted from Catholicism when she was a single mother in her 20s who needed help. The church gave her a network of tangible support and got her through a vulnerable, scary time in her life–and used that
Growing up in a religion that is constantly changing its doctrine, beliefs, and stances on things can be so confusing. One generation after another was taught a bunch of wild things that got watered down for the next (for the most part).
You can really see it when you have a high school seminary teacher who was 60+ years old and genuinely believed that disabled people were those who didn't fight as hard in the premortal life, and (apparently) complained about DEI despite the fact he has two adopted black children.
I have a vague memory of being taught as a kid about becoming gods and having your own planet, only for that to never get brought up again. I had some questions about my religion growing up, but for whatever reason, that wasn't one of them.
I think this is the bad timeline.
Also, iirc, a bunch of people on the exmormon subreddit used the bot to see what it would say regarding problematic church policies and history, and it straight up refused to answer or just redirected the topic.
Anyway, the only correct answer to "what do mormons really believe?" is, "approximately half of what's outlined in The Articles of Faith and whatever the current guy in charge says unless they disagree with it along with a bunch of other stuff, some of which they are supposed to and some of which they definitely aren't."
porn is harmful to society and most countries do not permit porn. you're the odd ones out, don't act like you're oppressed for not being able to look at naked pictures of strangers. it's not normal to want that
One thing I've had a hard time explaining to my still very active Mormon family is that the queer community still experiences hurt from the church and its members. And because of that, they may distance themselves from anyone who is still an actively practicing member.
My sil is frustrated that at UVU people see she's active and assume she's homophobic. My mom is hurt on behalf of her friend who's child is obviously transitioning but won't come out to her. My brother doesn't understand why it took me an entire year and being two states away to tell him I was queer.
These are not isolated incidents. The Mormon church actively is against queer people, talks are being given from the pulpit about how we are sinful and fallen creatures. So no, we won't run to you with open arms. That is the baseline queer people start with in regards to the Mormon church. You have to do the work to show us you are trustworthy and safe. And until that happens, queer people will be hesitant and weary and I get you think that sucks but your church is bigoted and you cannot blame people for not wanting to come out to you instantly even when "you can tell".
Sometimes as a European you play an American game and even though you speak fluent English and culturally there's not too much different you can Tell you're missing some kind of cultural context
I had no fucking clue what a mormon was when I played the New Vegas DLCs
This post is not an invitation for you all to explain mormonism to me I am fine not knowing about this
I can't put this in tags like a normal person because apparently Tumblr no longer lets you do long tags which is dumb and I hate it but ok. Long time ago when I was but a wee 14 years old kid living in a sleepy town in Northern Ukraine, one day my bestie told me: hey, have you heard about this new English speaking club at the city library? They say it's run by two guys that came here on a mission all the way from America. And I was like: what mission? And she told me they were supposed to be Mormons. I didn't believe her. I was convinced she was fucking with me because at the time I didn't think that Mormons were real. I honestly thought they were fictional and only existed as a gag in South Park. And then a couple of days later those two missioners actually showed up to our English class to promote their little conversion club. Those poor men stood in front of a bunch of 14 years old and told us they were Mormon and several of my classmates said: wait, Mormon? Like in South Park?, and from their pained expressions you could clearly tell that it wasn't the first time they had been asked that here.
This counts as a spell
The thing with Mormon missionaries (which is what these two are) is that they don’t have answers for church doctrine and policy that openly queer people will accept. And they know that. The church teaches that gender is eternal and that you have to be in a heterosexual marriage with children to get to heaven, and they can’t talk their way around that. It’s actually an incredibly important part of Mormon beliefs. They know that an out and proud queer person is a waste of time to try to convert.
The last time they visited, I told the missionaries I wasn’t a member anymore because I was queer (which isn’t really the reason I left initially, but I knew it would shut them down), and I could see in their faces that they were struggling to find a good response. They didn’t even address that, but they asked if there were any other reasons. I’m assuming that was to try to open up a conversation they could try to talk their way around, but I told them that was the main one because I didn’t want to talk to them anymore.
i wish i was abigfoot scientist making bigfoot bucks being interviewed on netflix documentaries about disappearances in americas national parks (bigfoots done it)
Bigfoot is actually Cain from the bible, that’s why everyone wants to fuck him.
BELIEF INCORPORATED
Cat spit that out it’s Mormon
BELIEF UNINCORPORATED
i keep seeing jokes about Imagine Dragons showing their support by performing for WGA strikers, like about how bad their music/singing is and jokes about how it’ll hurt the movement and normally i’m neutral to the hatred of popular/used to be popular things, but GOD. as a queer ex-mormon i so badly wish more people knew what this group and what specifically Dan Reynolds has done to support queer kids
(article from screenshots)
also while im here Enemy (the arcane song) is also about queer mormon kids <3
I absolutely hate how people took a kind, progressive, good band and decided to give it the nickelback treatment.
(Frankly I don’t even necessarily think they’re bad, sound wise, either. But I guess music is subjective so if you disagree that’s your right, just don’t treat it as some kind of unilateral truth)
My cousin (who is a christian fundamentalist and a massive homophobe) once mocked me for liking the band as an atheist because they’re religious, and I just went silent because I didn’t feel like getting into an argument, but
Like
Dan Reynolds has been an outspoken ally for a while.
“Believer” is about queer religious trauma. “Love” is about queer acceptance. He called out Eminem over homophobia. He was part of the Loveloud Festival, that raised over a million dollars for queer charities like the Trevor Project.
Gee, it’s sure a funny coincidence he and ID got branded as cringe. I wonder what motive someone could possibly have to do so.
It’s actually a fascinating (read: infuriating) thing that any time any progressive LDS person presents themselves in a public sphere they are disowned by literally everyone; the conservatives, because they’re progressive, and the left, because they’re LDS.
Yep. If they try to convert you while you're waiting for your bus that's 20 min late, I recommend bringing this up. They make good expressions when they realize
Mormonism gaining status as a respectable religion in the US is frankly all you need to know about how irredeemably fucked this country was, is, and will continue to be
It's important to note that the FLDS is not the same as mainstream Mormons. HOWEVER, the FLDS are much more in line with what Joseph Smith actually did and how he ran the og church than the modern day church.
Yep. If they try to convert you while you're waiting for your bus that's 20 min late, I recommend bringing this up. They make good expressions when they realize
Mormonism gaining status as a respectable religion in the US is frankly all you need to know about how irredeemably fucked this country was, is, and will continue to be
Sundays went from my least favorite day of the week to my second favorite
Bro would sleep in the car after LITERALLY pulling me out of bed for seminary, where i would legitimately be falling asleep
Do y’all think the Mormon church at any point will ever allow gay marriage? (Govt/legal intervention meaning getting sued, losing tax exemption status, civil rights laws etc) (Social backlash being bad PR, criticism but nothing legal forcing the change) (Genuine change in leaders being that church culture itself has changed and is more accepting) (Financial reasons being that if more people are allowed to join then they get more tithing)
Never under any circumstance
Yes (bc of legal/govt intervention) but it won’t be equal to a hetero marriage
Yes (bc of legal/govt intervention) and it will be equal to a hetero marriage
Yes (bc of social backlash) but it won’t be equal to a hetero marriage
Yes (bc of social backlash) and it will be equal to a hetero marriage
Yes (bc of a genuine change in leaders) but it won’t be equal to hetero marriage
Yes (bc of a genuine change in leaders) and it will be equal to hetero marriage
Yes (bc of financial reasons) but it won’t be equal to hetero marriage
Yes (bc of financial reasons) and it will be equal to hetero marriage
I might have posted this one already but I still feel it in my soul lol
