Fallen Angels deserve to fly

[guccifloralsuits]

If THE modern translator of the OG Odyssey text wrote this about my film adaptation I’d kill myself

Emily Wilson you’re goated

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Metahuman with super healing powers whose entire job is that once a week they go to a nearby hospital and are put into a medically induced coma for 24 hours while all their organs and blood are harvested, and kept there until they've healed up again.

They get paid a small stipend by the Heroes Council for this, and they live off that.

No crime fighting, no obvious heroics, and they only took a Super Identity because it's technically hero's council policy. Nobody's ever seen them in a cape.

Every so often the Heroes council will release an official report to the public, and there'll be another bunch of news articles wondering how some unknown super calling themselves 'Meat Factory' somehow consistently holds the record for most lives saved across the city.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

It is essential to my vision that they are not at all sanctimonious about this.

Like, they regularly act like they're getting away with something. They joke about how they get to earn money in their sleep. They show up to their hospital visits in deliberately ridiculous disguises, on the excuse that they need to 'protect their identity'.

Part of their employment contract is that they get served the same post-operation vanilla ice cream that they normally hand out on the childrens' ward. Also a sticker. Their overnight bag is covered in stickers.

[shinyhappygoth]

Okay, Meat Factory is awesome and hilarious, but if they're being harvested for and regenerating absolutely everything, may I suggest an alternative super name: Theseus.

[naumaxia-art]

Genderqueer Shapeshifters & Non-Binary Representation | A Video Essay

So I turned my dissertation into a lil video essay for Uni if anyone is interested at all.

[microsff]

A spaceship entered Earth's orbit and broadcast a message:

"We are the Interstellar Library. Do you want to swap? We have thousands of stories."

There were many replies.

The library was silent for a whole day, then:

"What do you mean, 'We have millions'?"

[a-krogan-skald-and-bearsark]

"And that's just on AO3!"

[sparklynightpainter]

no way i just saw people in tiktok comments crying screaming throwing up at the idea of aslan being a jesus figure. worsties the lion literally dies to save edmund (the sinner) and then rises from the dead. he tells the pevensies he can be found under a different name in our world. what else could this have meant

[heckin-music-dork]

Reminds me of this meme:

[lastoneout]

A second 'Soldier Poet King' has hit the tiktok.

[three-semicolons]

It can be frustrating to see Dick go from being depicted as a technical genius alongside his other capabilities in the pre-90s era, with incredible feats in the 50s-70s in particular, to becoming increasingly mid (or even incompetent) technologically such that the wind isn’t taken out of the sails of the designated “tech people” in the Bat sphere.

Seeing as I don’t think this will change any time soon, I instead propose a solution: Dick is still a tech whiz in his own right, but only for highly dated technology. You have a modern database that needs backdooring? Better ask Barbara, or Tim, if she isn’t available.

But if you, for some ungodly reason, need to access data off a punch card, or a magnetic tape, or a 5 1/4 inch floppy disk? You need to operate in UNIX? You need to write in FORTRAN, or COBOL? In this incredibly niche, one-in-a-million scenario, you call Dick.

It has been useful exactly twice, both times involving the nuclear missile system. Other than that he’s pretty much just trivia bait for anything below 32 bits.

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[rubykgrant]

You BEHEAD Marie Antoinette?

[commodorecliche]

you CHOP her head like the GUILLOTINE??

[quadradaz]

OH OH CHAOS FOR FRANCE! CHAOS FOR FRANCE FOR 1000 YEARS!!!!

[petermorwood]

Pity I hadn’t seen this closer to Bastille Day… :-D

[ad-wills]

[glowingghosty]

[thevioletcaptain]

[dommingateez]

me when i first started watching cdramas: woah the sets are so beautiful

me watching cdramas now: hey, i know that street. hey, i know that temple. hey, i know that courtyard. hey, i know that gate. hey, i know that tree

[zhoudadudugongjin]

Someone pitch a c drama where the plot is just that two producers double booked hengdian studios for their new high budget wuxia dramas and now they're fighting over the sets

[prolestari]

There's only one bed set

[greenygal]

Actors get halfway through a fight scene before they realize they’re from different shows.

[well-dressedwords]

This is actually a brilliant premise?! I would watch the heck out of that.

[love-too]

Just heard the sentence "non practicing bisexuals" for aroace people and I'm losing it

[ata-lanta]

I was possessed and couldn't find the image on my own so here

[dykearthurmorgan]

the trope of 'this entity exists only because we think it does' is so so so fucking good and cannot be overdone in my opinion

like the idea that you built the monster hunting you, that you invited the entity into our world, that your fear is what it feeds on, and that once made real, it cannot possibly be killed because you're stuck in this loop of 'he's real because i'm scared' and 'i'm scared because he's real'

[kira-7]

This is a spot from an italian estate agency (we are governed by the right-wing party)

The woman says "Ridiculous..."

If you want to spread it elsewhere, here's the official link

[arctic-hands]

[Video Description: An ad with piano music over it all, showing an elderly woman in her home, knitting, when two younger men walk by her window, which catches her attention. She stares out her window at them as they kiss each other while walking, the old lady staring in disbelief. Cut to the old woman approaching a residence with a broom in hand, staring up at the second floor window where a small rainbow Pride flag is hanging. The old woman stares up at it and mutters "Ridiculo", before getting up on a ladder with her broom to remove the flag. Focus on the flag fluttering to the ground as church bells chime. The scene then cuts to the couple from before, approaching their home with grocery bags in hand before one stops and stares at the second floor, stopping his partner who then drops the groceries as he too stares up. It's then revealed that the small pride flag had been replaced with a gigantic, hand-knit pride flag. It then cuts back to the old woman's home, where a tin of rainbow-colored yarn sits on her table. The hands of the old woman are holding and fondly touching an old black and white photo of two young smiling women, leaning against each other. Cut to the old woman's face as she stares out with a look of happy pride on her face. At the end of the video, the name "Idealista" appears on screen, followed by "buon pride" along with a rainbow. End VD.]

[spaceofentropy]

One correction:

The old lady is not in her home. She is at work. She's meant to be what in Italian is called "la portinaia", aka a cross between a doorwoman and cleaner of a residential building. She's in her small "office" space, at the entrance of the building, from where she can survey the coming and goings of the inhabitants. It's a job that has mostly disappeared, but is culturally very clear to us as having the connotation of "potentially gossipy, one-million-percent judgmental woman who sees everything that goes on in the apartment complex, knows everyone and their secrets, and has Strong Opinions™️".

In this case, thankfully, the Strong Opinion™️ is that those two men are ridiculous with their teeny tiny flag for ants.

[sharpnelshell-deactivated201905]

It had almost escaped my notice that it is now May, the month that dooms to a heartbroken death 99% of characters from folk ballads. So, if you suspect you may be a character from a folk ballad, for your own safety: 

don’t fall in love, don’t go by the river, don’t go to the sea, don’t talk to sailors, don’t gamble, don’t ramble, don’t go North, don’t go North-West, don’t stand in the wind, don’t dance with anyone named Sally, Sue, Mary, Ann, or Barbara, don’t go to the pub (but if you do go to the pub at least don’t drink, and if you do drink at least pay for your own drink, and if you are absolutely broke and have to let someone else pay for your drink then at the very least do try not to forget to toast everyone you know whom you think might be there very loudly and possibly multiple times), don’t lend money, don’t borrow money, don’t wish you had more money, don’t make plans to make more money, don’t start working for a new employer, absolutely do believe anyone who says they will try to kill you, curse you, or maim you, absolutely do believe anyone who says you might die, turn down every invitation to go a-hunting, horse-riding, or a-courting, be wary of flute players you meet on your path, don’t dance with satanic men in black coats, don’t marry off your daughters to the first man who’ll have them, and don’t promise your true love any herbs you can’t readily plant and gather in your own garden. 

There. That should just about cover you for 31 days. Heed the warnings and you may have a chance to last the month. Good luck.

[javascript-official]

Fuck this job man, I sentenced this guy called Theseus to life in prison for murder and then I get a call from the prison that he has systematically replaced every organ in his body including his brain and is now claiming he is not the same person who committed the crime. They are letting him go free, fuck this. Worst of all is he also then took all of the parts that he discarded and made a second Theseus who is also claiming he did not commit the crime and they are also being let free. Now there's two of them out there and you just KNOW they are murdering people and then having gay sex. I fucking quit man...

[linguisticparadox]

(via @luimnigh )

[ezrafael]

I know that rationally speaking, Vulcans probably use robots to help them achieve that awful bowl cut they love BUT imagine for a second that instead they value manual work more and so go to the hairdresser/barber.

They are touch telepath. Going to a human hairdresser must be a no go, because it could mean an unwanted meld on both side, so there are Vulcan hairdresser. Of course, everyone could close their mind but what if hairdressers came to be specialized in both haircut and mindhealing? You go get your bowlcut and you get free therapy on the top.

Now,when the Enterprise is in the air, Spock use a barber robot, but when they go to a space station, it is mandatory to look for a Vulcan barber for good old therapy time. There is one right there so Spock enters. A new barber goes to him, but the manager send him a Look. It's the look thay says "honey you're good at your job but this case is too heavy for you", so the new one takes a step back and manager Storp goes to Spock.

It's a slow day in Haircut for Vulcans, so everyone is listening in fascination. The barber start the shampoo then ask the usual questions, like how have been things since the last time? Spock briefly answer that yes, everyone is fine, can they please get the haircut down fast, because the captain has tried to get himself killed no less than five times and doctor McCoy have been insufferable with Spock (it is unrelated to the fact that Spock had put himself into the medbay three times trying to protect his captain who was trying to protect him) and Storp face goes blank, because it will be a long session.

After that, therapy/haircuting continue in silence, but as soon as Spock leaves the room, everyone gather around Storp begging for him to spill the hair (because gay human hairdresser may still say spill the tea in a few centuries from now and it may have impacted Vulcan hairdresser's slang, but "spill the tea" is unhygienic and inacurate while there are always are on the shop's floor) and Storp put the "We are taking a break" sign on the door and turn to them with a face that means "girls, have a chocolate, because it's going to be goooood" (while the Vulcan hairdressing and therapy society have a no-divulgation oath, it doesn't stop them to talking between each others. It's only logical to help each other to better help their clients, right? Also, have Spock being kissed by his devilishly handsome captain already or not? Have Storp seeing him without his shirt again during the mind melt? They need to know!)

Sadly, the oath forbid them to bet on how long it will take for Spock and captain Kirk to marry or fuck or whatever there is between them like the rest of Vulcans. It is logical and ethical but so damn frustrating sometimes.

[kirbydots]

“Magneto’s backstory should be changed, it’s unrealistic that he’d still be alive after all this time!” Have you forgotten what franchise he’s from?

[kirbydots]

You can suspend your disbelief for the man transformed into sentient rocks by space radiation, the interdimensional bird, and the flaming biker skeletons, but one guy being a little old is where you draw the line?

[magnetothemagnificent]

It's the ~antisemitism~

[magnetothemagnificent]

#its also worth noting that marvel *DID* change magneto's backstory#he was originally presented as someone who had survived the shoah as an adult#and marvel retconned it to him surviving it as a child#iirc his original debut backstory involved him losing a wife and two kids??

Well, no, not really. When Magneto was made to be a Holocaust survivor, he was a survivor from childhood, though by the end of the Holocaust he was in his teens. His daughter Anya was killed by an antisemitic mob after the Holocaust, at some point in the 1950s.

[daughterofstories]

It's also an attempt to pretend that the Shoah is ancient history, when it's really not.

"It's unrealistic for a Holocaust survivor to still be alive."

Assholes, there are Holocaust survivors still alive in the real world.

[prismatic-bell]

They're really telling on themselves because Wolverine is like 170 years old.

[pusheenthenerdcat]

wolverine being a hundred and fucking seventy: normal

magneto being the same age as currently alive holocaust survivors: impossible

[onbearfeet]

While there are definitely living Holocaust survivors today, most of them aren't up to doing half the shit Magneto does, and it seems to be affecting the impact his stories have on audiences. I remember reading Magneto stories as a kid in the 90s, knowing he was a little younger than my grandparents, and getting hit with a truckload of sympathy for the dude. He just wanted to have a normal life like Grandma and Granddad, and then the war happened and oh FUCK. Younger readers now are much less likely to have that personal connection; that's just how human lifespans work. And it's only going to get worse. Magneto does need some future-proofing.

That's not to say I think Magneto's origin should be changed, or that he should be permanently killed off. Far from it. This is comics; all kinds of timeline bullshit happens all the time. As someone pointed out above, Wolverine is most of the way into his second century of life.

What I'd do--and what I'm shocked Marvel writers don't seem to have done yet--is wave the mutant bullshit wand and make Magneto functionally immortal. Secondary mutation, maybe. Something something magnetic fields. The mechanics don't matter any more than "Wolverine is functionally immortal because healing factor" does. What matters is this:

At some point, Magneto will be the last living Holocaust survivor. And he will not let the world forget.

There was a story I read as a kid where Magneto took a handful of soil from the camp where his family died and spread it on the surface of the moon, where he was building a mutant haven of some kind. The image of him on his knees with soil running through his fingers and an agonized look on his face has haunted me ever since. To some part of him, it's always 1945. Never again is quite literally now.

I want to see Magneto as the furious conscience of the Marvel universe. I want him to rip a hole in the UN General Assembly building and stride in with his full regalia on--except for one sleeve, stripped to the forearm to show his tattooed number--and read the UN the riot act in all his nigh-unkillable glory. I want him to storm into summits between warring planets, atomize the ferrous metal in everyone's weapons, and lay down the galactic law that is There Will Be No More Genocides On My Watch, And My Watch Is Eternal. And I want future writers to use his story, and his enduring popularity as a character, to make sure that audiences don't forget either.

Magneto being a Holocaust survivor is only a flaw in the storytelling if you're a goddamn coward.