A positivity, essay, confession, and art blog by and for fact-folks, including but not limited to: factives, factual introjects, fait-/fucktives, fogtives, factlinks, factkin/factualkin, fogkin, faitkin, facthearted/kith, fact-beings, fact-alterhumans, diaunthros, isofact, and other fact-types.
Asks and Submissions are Open! | This blog runs on a queue of 1 post per day, so please be patient re: asks being answered.
No one here is too "cringe" or too "problematic". We support ALL systems, including non-traumagenic and non-disordered systems. We are pro-queer, LGBTQIAP+, and MOGAI.
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Fact-Anonymous is a positivity, essay, confession, and art blog by and for fact-folks, including but not limited to: factives, factual introjects, fait-/fucktives, fogtives, factlinks, factkin/factualkin, fogkin, faitkin, facthearted/kith, fact-beings, fact-alterhumans, diaunthros, isofact, and other fact-types.
We accept asks and submissions!
No one here is too "cringe" or too "problematic". We support ALL systems, including but not limited to: non-traumagenic, non-disordered, self-diagnosed, and non-diagnosed systems. We are pro-queer, pro-LGBTQIAP+, and pro-MOGAI.
[Plain text: Fact-Anonymous is a positivity, essay, confession, and art blog by and for fact-folks, including but not limited to: factives, factual introjects, fait-/fucktives, fogtives, factlinks, factkin/factualkin, fogkin, faitkin, facthearted/kith, fact-beings, fact-alterhumans, diaunthros, isofact, and other fact-types.
We accept asks and submissions!
No one here is too "cringe" or too "problematic". We support ALL systems, including but not limited to: non-traumagenic, non-disordered, self-diagnosed, and non-diagnosed systems. We are pro-queer, pro-LGBTQIAP+, and pro-MOGAI. End plain text.]
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Disclaimer:
[Plain text: Disclaimer:. End plain text.]
We are not medical professionals or any sort of authority. We can only speak from our own experience. No experience is the same. What works for us may not work for you, so please take what we say with a grain of salt.
While we try to learn as many points of view as possible, our knowledge still has gaps in it. We may make mistakes, or hurt a person, system, or a marginalized group. When this happens, feel free to politely correct us (no swearing, name-calling, or fake-claiming).
Reblogs are not endorsement.
As of 14 January 2026, we are no longer looking for new moderators.
Hello, we're working on a plural resource masterlist document, so I'm politely asking for any recommendations the Tumblr community may want to see listed in it 🙏 It can be any tools your system has found useful (whether it's made for plurals or not), links for research/information, organizations, events, literally anything.
We already have a lot of things we plan to add, seeing as we often spend hours going through google search results in trying to find all the latest, but I'm asking just in case there's anything we aren't aware of.
Here's some choice links from our linkhoard of plural stuff that can be found here: https://dragonsroost.neocities.org/pluralstuff
FAQs:
https://morethanone.info/ -best simple faq
https://freyasspirit.com/plurality-playbook/ - in depth faq intended for Google employees, useful generally
https://dragonsroost.neocities.org/plural/primer2plur - the faq we wrote
http://www.karitas.net/blackbirds/layman/ - a old and fairly Dated faq. Contains some misinformation but still useful.
General Resource sites:
http://healthymultiplicity.com/ - one of the oldest still updating plural resource sites
https://kinhost.org/ - self help site, ymmv
DID/OSDD:
https://di.org.au/ - more medical language, good peer resource
http://traumadissociation.com/dissociativeidentitydisorder.html - medical resource by therapists
https://www.isst-d.org/ - medical resource by therapists
Other/nonmedical plurality and plural adjacent communities:
https://endogenichub.weebly.com/ - non trauma origin theory plurality stuff
https://tulpa.io/ - different subcultural plural group. Tulpamancers have their own culture, frameworks, and terminology and may not consider themselves part of the wider community
https://daemonpage.com// - different subcultural group. Daemeians have their own culture, frameworks, and terminology and may not consider themselves part of the wider community
https://soulbonding.tripod.com/soulbonding_intro.htm - different subcultural group, largely subsumed into other ones now though. Soulbonfers have their own culture, frameworks, and terminology and may not consider themselves part of the wider community
Specific resources of note we made:
https://dragonsroost.neocities.org/plural/pluralglossary - our glossary, because others left much to be desired for us
https://dragonsroost.neocities.org/essay/AmIPlural - our plural questioning guide
https://dragonsroost.neocities.org/plural/switching - because people are very confused about what to expect from switching
https://dragonsroost.neocities.org/essay/edu/newalter - new headmate guide (guide on making a guide for new headmates)
https://dragonsroost.neocities.org/essay/ShouldITell - should you tell friends/family about being plural writeup
https://dragonsroost.neocities.org/plural/writingplurals - writing plural characters
Specific resources of note others made:
https://tulpanomicon.guide/ - popular tulpamancy guide, good for learning system skills wether you are plural or not
https://web.archive.org/web/20210723233711/https://www.feathersong.org/plural-howto/feathers-guide-to-fronting-and-switching/ - switching guide for the 'passing the I' style switching
https://lb-lee.dreamwidth.org/1053011.html -memory work
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iLDqL0Yrpn9NtcTDS3a2LP6mG_0xsRPLhDlBuW3ta8U/edit - guide for walk-ins
https://docs.google.com/document/d/16aAV0ssDwCaX7ukW1z15hrbZG72PZywMVawNjUFx85Y/edit - guide for system conflict
Well hi so we Need a little help. you seem like an experienced alterhuman.
Have you met any Christan alts?
I've been awoken for about 2 years now I think. I'm mostly a fictionkin. I know physiological kins exist and stuff but no matter how hard i try to push it away I'm 95% sure we have a past life here somewhere, but it's hard for me to believe because like I've always believed in one life here in this world. (Especially when you have a canonically dead kin as an id)
so do I just continue identifying as both? Go fully spiritual or seek professional help (please don't send me to therapy 🙏) is there a term for this or shall I try making one?
Thank you if you see/answer this -HollyLeaf (from warriors (highest kin)
Also asking r/alterhuman because why not.
There are plenty of christian alterhumans out there (since 'alterhuman' is such a broad term, it can include anything from furry lifestyling to otherkinity to transhumanism to plurality).
More specifically, there are plenty of christian otherkind and fictionkind. I'm asatru/christian/popculture pagan/animist/pantheist syncretic - you just gotta find whatever worldview, practices, and community works for you. My practices are christian, my traditions are asatru, my beliefs are animist/pantheist, my worldview is inextricable from popculture, and my community is people from all kinds of religious and areligious backgrounds.
Christianity is a religion with so many sect and such a long history that there are plenty of christians who believe in reincarnation. Even within catholicism you'll find people who believe in reincarnation, whether it be a belief that grandma will come back as a cardinal bird, or the belief that the spirit of Mary has been reincarnated time and time again.
I won't tell you what path to choose in life - only you can make that decision. All I can do is give you a few ideas on where to go:
Explore christian syncretism. It's a huge and beautiful world that can unite disparate traditions and create entirely new traditions, like Chrislam, Christo-Paganism, Santa Muerte, Xueta Christianity, Dalit Christianity, and many many more. You might even classify Deism is a syncretic movement between christianity and atheism. I suggest reading this article to get you started.
Examine the roles christianity and otherkinity play in your life (in your close community, your broader community, your ethnic/national/group identity, your self-perception, your motivations, your ideals, your comforts, your fears, etc.). Maybe their roles are different. Maybe their roles overlap. Maybe they're intertwined. Maybe you can compartmentalize them. Only one way to find out :)
sorry to be a hater of sorts. but you are not an animal, or whatever else other than a human that you happen to identify as.
it is not about wanting. it is about BEING, and if you look in the mirror you’ll realise you’re just a human. it doesn’t make a difference if you struggle with it. get over it. a lot of people have to get over it. you cannot be indulged in a fantasyland 24/7. quite simply, grow up
Huh, I don't think I've gotten one of these asks since 2017...
First things first, starting off a rather hateful and concern-trolling message with "sorry" doesn't alleviate you of any potential harm done. You're trying to upset me. You're rude, you're mean, and you clearly realize it, since you're only willing to say these things anonymously. Don't try to soften your blows by apologizing preemptively. It's bitchy at best and belittling at worst.
I'm gonna take a guess and say this is a copy-pasted message, since you couldn't even be bothered to name my therio-/kintypes. How many other people have you tried to upset with these messages? And for what reason? What's your goal? Is the world not cruel enough already?
But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, since these kinds of messages have become such a rarity, and since I haven't written anything for this blog in months. Consider it an invitation to reach out again some day, once you've mulled things over. I'll get vulnerable with you and lay myself bare, and in return I hope you'll consider seeing me as a person, instead of just a target for your anger.
You say reality, identity, and self-perception ('cause that's what this is; that's what otherkinity is) is about being, not wanting. I say that's an oversimplified worldview.
Who can we be if there's nothing we want? A person without desires is hardly a fully realized person. The identity of the person who wants something is as genuine as the identity of the person who has achieved something - even if they're perceived differently, and their material realities are different. The musician who dreams of going platinum, but who never gets out of dingy bars and self-published mixtapes, will still see a musician when she looks in the mirror - even if others just see a mediocre hobbyist. Even if others compare her to professionals, natural talents, and nepo-babies, whose achievements she can never hope to reach. Should the wanting musician let others define for her what it means to be a musician? Even if her music is bad and she'll never hit it big? She wants to be a musician. She plays because of her desires. She lives her life according to her wants. Does that not make her wants a part of who she is?
To some extent you are what you want. The line between wanting and being is blurry.
I do want to be nonhuman, on some level. I'd gladly give up this life to live as a gnoll. I suppose my desires are fantastical, but no less so than those of the poor musician who dreams of going platinum. Should she stop playing because she'll never achieve her dreams? Should I stop calling myself a gnoll just because I'll never have the body of one? I act out being a gnoll, through my digital persona, my fantasy scenarios, and my art. I do what I can to be a gnoll. I am as much an embodiment of my desires as the mediocre hobbyist musician is.
Have you ever gotten what you wished for?
I collect trading cards as a hobby. After years of searching, I got some of my dreamies and completed parts of my collection. I felt satisfied for a day, but the satisfaction quickly turned into boredom and listlessness. My instincts (be they human or gnoll) crave the hunt more than the kill. I get a greater thrill out of wanting than achieving. I wouldn't be happy without my unachievable desires.
I think, on some level, to want is to be.
And while my wants may be strange, at least they don't involve deliberately trying to hurt other people.
Here’s some positivity for headmates who are walk-ins!
Walk-ins, or system members who “walked in” from somewhere else inside or outside their system’s mind, are valid as headmates and are important both to their systems and the plural community overall! We cherish and value all walk-ins, and want you to know that you make your system and our spaces better just by existing in them. So here’s to all the walk-ins out there!
🌿 Shoutout to walk-ins who have become permanent residents of their system!
💙 Shoutout to walk-ins who split their time between their system and their own plane, world, or universe!
🕊 Shoutout to walk-ins who cannot control when and how they enter their system!
🦋 Shoutout to walk-ins who are from a different part of their system’s headspace, psyche, or subconscious!
💚 Shoutout to walk-ins who are thoughtforms, paros, daemons, or soulbonds!
🌊 Shoutout to walk-ins with roles or who help their system accomplish tasks in daily life!
🤍 Shoutout to walk-ins who are from dreams, nightmares, paracosms, or their system’s imaginations!
🐬 Shoutout to walk-ins who entered their system due to a particular member’s special interest or hyperfixation!
☘️ Shoutout to walk-ins who feel faint, blurry, or otherwise struggle to maintain their existence in their system!
💠 Shoutout to walk-ins who consider themselves visitors, travelers, wanderers, vagrants, or otherwise “only passing through!”
❕ Shoutout to walk-ins who rely on gatekeepers to facilitate their entering and exiting their system!
To put it plainly, the plural community would not be what it is today without walk-ins. Regardless of your system’s origins, or the language you use to describe your plurality, if you are a walk-in, we wan to remind you that you are a valid member of your system, the world/universe/area you come from, and the plural community as a whole!
We hope all walk-ins can try to take it easy and treat themselves with gentleness and compassion today. Know that you are loved and cherished just the way you are, and we’re rooting for you in all that you do! Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful day!
The number one thing to remember when it comes to switching and learning to control, in our opinion, is compromise. You have to work together to switch, and that can be difficult.
Tips and tricks I've learned:
Grounding and meditation have helped a lot. When we're triggered, it's a lot harder to sit with myself and say, "Who do I need to help me handle this?" If you need to switch, stay calm and breathe.
We have found it easier with various visualizations. For instance, when we switched today, Ve imagined herself flying out of the fronting circle -- but she was in too much pain from our headache to switch. So instead, she visualized me coming over and patting her shoulder, which I did. Then, I was close enough to take the control, and she could go lay down.
In connection with that above bullet, visualization helps in the outerworld too. We found it helped us a lot when we started writing our experiences through the lens of a robot with multiple "cores" who represented our alters. When the bot switched, the color of its UI switched as well to the colors we associate with. Now, when we switch IRL, we visualize our eyes changing color to the associated color, which helped to ground our switches more in reality.
We found it helped to have an accountability buddy for switching, in this case our spouse @circulars-singlet. They will remind us of how long we've been out, which in turn makes us think, "hey, you're right, I tend to get burned out if I'm out that long. How am I doing?" Those check ins are really helpful. They'll also remind us if we said we wanted to switch.
We sometimes have found it helps to focus on the feeling of our body while switching. For instance, Numb when he fronts tends to have a better posture than us, so if we want to switch to Numb, we often straighten our posture. It's kinda like... we make the house something the person would like to live in if we want them to come to the house, yknow?
We also used to use music to help switches along. Still works to this day. Roy's the only one who likes country, so hearing country music helps get him closer to front. Same with vocaloid for Tavi and swing for Numb.
Communication is vital, however you end up doing it. We've basically always been able to contact one another, but we have used journals before to do so. If you want someone to switch in soon, maybe writing them a note or calling out to them innerworld would be a good idea. Making them aware of that desire in any way is a great call.
Connected to that and compromise, it can sometimes be hard to suggest someone come and take the burden. We actually still are struggling with this concept. Asking someone to switch in is hard, because we understand how difficult life can be, and it's hard to ask someone to take that burden on. Our therapist has been working with us to view it more as "Thank you for your help" and less "Sorry for what I'm doing to you."
I'm starting to run out of steam, sadly, but please folks, feel free to chime in with your own ideas.
what would partial demedicalization of plurality look like?
right now, multiplicity in society is heavily medicalized, with did (and perhaps osdd) being the only forms of plurality widely discussed and sensationalized in media. we have yet to see a single piece of media that portrays plurality without did (unless you count stories of supernatural possession). as a pro endo system, we advocate for the partial, not full, demedicalization of plurality. not all systems will require medical care in order to take care of themselves, and demedicalization will allow for these people to live their authentic lives without feeling pressured to pursue medical treatment or diagnoses they don’t need.
so what would it look like if plurality was partially demedicalized?
for starters, those with dissociative disorders or systems who struggle with daily life would still be able to access the medical care and attention they need. we’d like to point out that it is already quite challenging for disordered systems to get access to the care they need. in fact, partial demedicalization may make it easier for disordered systems to access the care they need, as multiplicity becomes less stigmatized in the societal lens.
this brings us to our next point - destigmatization. as plurality becomes more widely understood as something regular people can experience, as something that can happen without trauma or a dissociative disorder as a prerequisite, it is possible that negative social stigma surrounding multiplicity may lessen as a result. of course, a huge part of destigmatization is education - there needs to be more awareness of plurality outside did and the medical field.
we firmly believe that spectrum language will be the best way to refer to multiplicity in the future. like autism, adhd, and other neurodivergencies, plurality is a spectrum, and systems may exist anywhere on it (with singlets on one side and infinite/polyfragmented systems on the other). a partial demedicalization of plurality will allow nondisordered systems to speak up about their experiences, while allowing them to seek out support.
what would support for nondisordered plurals look like?
it could take lots of forms, many of which would be beneficial to disordered systems as well! here are a few examples:
groups or meetups for systems both in real life and online through sites like zoom and skype
information sessions and events that aim to educate/spread awareness about the plural spectrum
mentorship or peer support programs that are designed by plurals for plurals
more grants/funding allocated for plural research (with a focus on the wide scope of multiplicity rather than DID specifically)
representation for plurals of all sorts in media, be it books, movies, TV shows, video games, or anything else!
and so much more! systems can get creative when figuring out what kinds of support they need, as long as they are vocal in their attempts to advocate for themselves and systems like them.
as we’ve said before on this blog (and likely will say again), most pro endos do not believe in the complete demedicalization of plurality. if we strive towards a common goal of destigmatization and support for all systems, we can maybe reach a place where all systems feel like they are able to receive the support and care they need, while feeling safe and comfortable enough to live their lives genuinely and authentically!
anyway that’s all we want to say here - sorry if this was a bit long winded! we’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on the demedicalization of plurality and how we can strive for destigmatization while increasing access to support for both disordered and nondisordered systems! thanks for reading :)
By the way, if we're going to go with that spectrum paradigm, we've got to get it as close to correct as possible to begin with, and it looks like this (could still use tweaks):
Important points:
Origin does not define degree of disorder/disability.
Degree of disorder/disability does not define origin.
Number of headmates and subsystems does not define degree of disorder/disability!
Degree of disorder/disability does not define number of headmates and subsystems!
Number of headmates and subsystems does not define origin!
Origin does not define number of headmates and subsystems!
All of these things are independent of each other.
oh we really like this! and y’all bring up some excellent points! this graph is simple enough that even a newly discovered system could try to figure out how they align on this chart, which could make it easier for them in the long run to articulate the right kind of support that they’ll need :)
/exo or /exm (exomemories) : for when you’re talking about something that happened in your exomemories, but not in the body’s memories!
/psd or /psdo (psuedomemories) : the same as /exo but for those who prefer the medical term! (purely up to personal preference, as all of these tags are)
/bm or /bdm (body memories) : for when you’re talking about something that happened in body memories, not in exomemories!
so we saw /iw, /hsp, and /phys by @the-corvidae-collective and were inspired to make these! these tone indicators can indicate whether what a person is talking about are things that happened in the body’s memories or in exomemories!!
we’re pro endogenic, non-traumagenic, and non-disordered systems so these tags are for all! keep in mind that they were made by a system for systems, and not specifically for singlets. if a singlet perhaps wanted to use these to specify kin memories vs body memories we just ask that they be mindful that these tags were not explicitly made for them.
thank you for reading! we hope you like these tone tags and find them useful.
people with facial differences, with prominent scaring including burns, facial prosthetics including eyes, different appearances of eyes, cleft pallets, different jaw shapes and positions, missing facial features, birth marks, palsy or paralysis, facial shapes and features associated with a specific disability like Down Syndrome, and all others, I hope you’re having a good day :) (smiley face)
when reading posts online, we often find ourself imagining the speaker as the avatar they use to represent themself. this varies depending on platform and how representative a particular profile picture is, and we can work against this habit, but it is at least partially an instinctive response for our brain.
im aware this does not hold for everyone - many people make choices with their digital representations that suggest the contrary. but i think for many native digital speakers*, their experiences are similar to mine - you associate people with their avatars, to at least some degree.
the thing about plurality however, perhaps its defining feature, is a distaste for holding a singular stable identity**. while its possible to simply change features of your online presence along with changes in identity, any frequent switching between repeated states gets annoying.
hence, tools like pluralkit (https://pluralkit.me/) emerge, hacking existing communication tools (in this case discord) to represent multiple identity states.
having the ability to directly and easily associate different images and names with messages genuinely provides so much in the way of identity expression, making any platform where this is possible far more appealing to communicate with.
the difference in expressive possibilities here becomes obvious if you spend much time in plural spaces;
- users who proxy as the wrong person will frequently comment on how wrong it feels seeing a message come from someone else's "mouth" especially when it would be out of character for them
- on the other paw, a message being proxied can help cement a weak front, or even pull someone into front (in the case of a misproxy)
- even in person, sometimes switching to communicating over a text chat with proxying can help elucidate fronts, or include a back and forth between headmates in a way that's harder to communicate verbally with the one mouth
altogether being able to see your own name and face with your messages can help with actually feeling plural. making those differences between your selves clearly visible. while there are a number of other tells someone might distinguish fronts by, and the models established by tools like pluralkit won't work for every system. it's an invaluable tool to have at your disposal.
indeed, for someone questioning their plurality, I'd actually recommend experimenting with pluralkit to explore your identity,
plurality, like gender, is social. while there may be underlying experiences and identity (and a closeted transgender person/system is still transgender/plural), a huge part of trans/plural experience is realised socially. asking someone to use a different name or pronoun for you, asking them to use more than one name! these things create a social reality in which you are recognised as your gender/as multiple. trying on these things in private and then with people you trust to affirm this identity is kind of important.
and when a service allows you to naturally present as multiple people, this instinct to treat people as their representations does a lot of heavy lifting. when i first started interacting with systems online i straight up did not think very hard about what plurality meant - i got shown the different avatars, names, pronouns, and interacted accordingly.
we might want to theorise that this simply replaces the tells you'd get speaking to a system in person; different voices, posture, demeanour - the tone missing from text communication replaced with explicit headmate signifying. but i would argue this type of text affordance actually offers up entirely different plural communication possibilities.
for example, it's straightforwardly possible to RP/cyber with someone and tag team them in ways you can't in person:
headmate 1: ooooh im hugging u
headmate 2: ooooh hugging you *from the other side*
while you can obviously do this without proxy support, the affordances of a tool like pluralkit make this much easier and more appealing. it feels more satisfyingly real, at least in our experience. and that makes sense, given each headmate is being put on the same representative footing as a whole separate user, rather than being depicted as the whole system/body first.
i'd actually argue there's an imperative, for those developing chat software, to make this kind of expression possible (if not by default at least with the kind of opt-in bot extensibility discord provides). the same way medical and social technologies expand the possibilities for legible transgender expression, tools enabling smoother performance of plurality like this open up new possibilities for systems.
and while I've kind of sucked off pluralkit here as the best option for this. it's nature as something hacked onto an existing chat app has clear weaknesses. and we can in fact imagine a world where this kind of chat support is better.
a tool like utter (https://utter.y2k.diy/), while not a networked messaging app, can show you the avatar of the person your proxy tag is about to post as. this hedges against accidental misproxying, helps you check if you've remembered the right proxy, and helps address a not uncommon plural problem of "wait im not sure who's writing this, i wish i could test out different options without having to hit send first".
basically what im saying is,
if ur plural friend asks you to use discord because they find it easier to communicate when they can use pluralkit, please give them that chance, it makes a genuine difference.
but we can also do better and build better tools. i think we kinda deserve it.
(*im using this term like "native speaker" gets used in linguistics but for typing online. im aware text isn't spoken, although im literally hearing this as i write it. but I genuinely think im more of a native speaker of online written english than spoken english. i lose verbal competency at times when i can still text someone. i have a literal speech impediment. etc.)
(**median systems who like to present with one shared identity outwardly are totally cool. that's why i said singular. the problems this addresses just apply less in that case. don't come at me, im literally miss "have you considered medianity, your experiences sound kinda median")
shoutout to the plurals who love being plural !! the plurals who love their headmates and headspace.
the plurals who don't like plurality being portrayed as all doom and gloom. the plurals who don't like when others make plurality all about the terrible trauma.
for this reason shoutout to the wilogenics who formed headmates for the joy of having them. also to the willogenics who formed headmates for help with things!
shoutout to plurals who have best friends and partners insys.
This is put together from-our-own-experience and with feedback from friends and other systems who've tried parts of this kind of exploration before. Before we begin, I'd like to note:
Not every system has a headspace
Not every system needs a headspace
But if you'd like to explore and see if you have one, or perhaps use this as a jumping off point to try to make one, feel free. There are some additional resources at the bottom of the post that are more geared that way from the start, too.
Who needs an inner world, anyway
Some systems do just fine without one. Some struggle for various reasons to make one. A relatively common reason for this is the lack of an ability to consciously visualise things in your mind (aphantasia).
For us, visualising things in general does not work well if at all, most days. Headspace is the only exception to this rule: we are almost always able to access headspace, despite apparently having a lot of difficulty coherently visualising anything else. I have no clue why that is, but that's been our experience.
All that to say: aphantasia may not always extend to headspace. And even for the folks where it does, some systems find a lot of value in building out a headspace grounded in non-visual senses or abstractions. As that's not our experience we aren't sure how to guide people there, but it's worth noting that that is something we've heard folks do.
As for the why, many systems find that having some semblance of an inner world helps with communicating with each other, gives some parts an avenue for self expression and interaction that doesn't necessarily require fronting, and occasionally it can help to have a place to retreat to for comfort or to rest, when the outside world gets to be Entirely Too Much.
A brief history of our experience of headspace
We've had something that we now think of as headspace since long before we ever knew what it was, before we knew there was a word for it, well before we knew we were plural or even trans. I think our first memories of it come back to sometime in high school.
To begin with, we just found that there was a certain mental image / sounds / impression that we could refer back to in order to help us ground and center ourselves, keep ourselves calm and collected. We found a level of visualisation or some similar mental construct helped a lot with that.
I think the initial picture we had in our head was quite simple: just a very blank, mostly dark space, a vast and completely still body of water... sorta like what we'd imagine the inside of one of those giant water tanks to look like. Only much, much bigger. So big you can't really see walls, just the endless black void and still water all around.
And we'd kinda focus on that for a bit as we took a moment to steady our breathing. Every handful of seconds or so, we'd try to re-focus and re-immerse ourselves in it by imagining little droplets of water falling from somewhere high above. Hitting the surface with a loud, echoing, almost piercing drip echoing through the stillness. The water's surface rippling out for a ways before the ripples died down, returning the surface of the water.
Just... still, quiet space, punctuated by the occasional droplets of water.
At some point we started mostly unconsciously building on this mental image over time. An island in the middle of the water, just a tiny little spot, barely the size of our room. A gently curved mound emerging from the surface of the water, its sands a barren, blackened grey. Then, some black rocks dotted around the shore to sit on. A little grass on parts of the island.
We'd sit by the water's edge in the stillness, with the occasional drips from high above keeping us focused on and in the space. And we'd sit there for a while, focusing on the stillness and the very clear sound of the water as it occasionally drips from above.
This space eventually became a central place in our headspace. I guess the practice of visualising and reinforcing it with sound and other physical impressions got it to take root pretty well, ultimately.
Since we've realised we're plural and recalled this space, headspace has grown mostly out of it, although we have a handful of other spaces not directly connected to it as well. Eventually we reworked the place to be a little more comfortable, we still come here to meditate sometimes, if we aren't up for wandering around the rest of headspace as much.
Exploratory meditation
This is... a suggestion, more than anything. It's not comprehensive, we don't expect it to conclusively help everyone, it's a starting point and nothing more. Adapt it as you see fit.
There's two parts to this: first, you want to calm yourself down and get to a reasonably neutral and grounded state.
Sit or lay somewhere comfy. If you find laying makes you sleepy, sit instead. Sitting on a cushion on the ground is usually good, but a comfy chair will be fine too.
Pay attention to your breathing, keep it measured and slow, deep breaths. Reasonably consistent, but not forced. In through the nose, out through the mouth.
Close your eyes, and just focus on the breathing for a minute. Count it out if you feel the need. Brain and thoughts can sometimes get a bit loud during this, so try to stay anchored to your breathing and let whatever happens, happen. If your attention drifts, just bring it gently back to your breathing when you notice you've drifted, that's okay.
Next, we're going to explore a little bit. Keeping your eyes closed, keeping your breathing steady:
Picture yourself in your head, just you, as best you can, from your own first-person perspective. Spend some time going over your posture and looking at yourself without opening your eyes. See if you notice any differences in how you perceive yourself here compared to your actual physical body, without focusing on them too much. Keep focused on your breathing as much as you can.
Once you have a decently solid idea of yourself, keep your eyes closed and look around, what's just beyond you here? What's the floor look like, in your head? What does the environment look like? Are you outside somewhere? Inside a room? Just a black or white void? If it's dark, see what happens when you think about turning a light on, a lamp or a torch.
Examine the space around you. We generally say look but don't touch at first, as in... go in with the attitude of finding what's there rather then wanting something specific to be there. Just expecting to find something, whatever it might be.
When you've spent a bit looking, see if you can get up in this view and have a proper look around, wander a little, take note of what you find to bring back with you when you return.
Folks we've had try this have of course had mixed success and often needed to modify the process or expectations to suit themselves. Some folks find that if their headspace starts out as a pure void, it's relatively straightforward (if slow and painstaking at first) to start building out little rooms and going from there. Most folks doing that will start from a low level of detail and gradually build from there (for example: white void -> blank white room -> oh look there's a door -> wonder what's beyond the door -> hallway -> doors in the hallway -> oh hey we have separate rooms off the hallway now -> maybe we could decorate these rooms a bit).
Hostile headspaces
Some folks may find that when they start poking around and exploring headspace, that it's initially hostile to them and treats them as an intruder. That's not a particularly common experience, but it's not especially rare either.
Unless your headspace, when you find it, is already actively hostile to your exploration, I would not recommend approaching it as such. However, should you need it, we'd recommend reviewing lb_lee's Headspace Discovery and Defense.
In a lot of ways we tend to view hostility as more of a someone is scared / feeling unsafe with me being here than we would as someone wants to hurt me. Hostility is generally a defensive measure, although in certain cases it can be more direct and active hostility which is a little trickier to manage.
There's generally a reason for it, even if you're not sure what that is for a while. Sometimes that reason is as simple as one or more headmates feeling very insecure or unsafe with the host or one of the more forward-facing parts delving into the depths of things. Sometimes it's more complicated; it can be a bit trial-and-error and touch and go for a bit. We would tend to recommend making your focus curiosity and seeking to understand -- and being understanding that sometimes, some headmates may not be ready to be known and understood yet.
[Start transcription. // Okay but like, this feels VERY weird to say but we are a system that was around before the plural warmline was even announced as an idea (even if marginally so) and can we just say that we don't think we've ever seen the community this vibrant before then? People don't really talk about the more immediate emotional impacts that something like that can have, especially since something like that can serve as a point of pride and validation as the visibility of plurality (seemingly) continues to increase.
The reason we RT < retweet > so much of their stuff like 24/7 is literally because we see them as that important, you really aren't imagining that. And like. They even do articles and articles and articles of resources, and they're in an accessible space.
No, seriously, back in 2018 or 2019 or whenever it was, we were pretty much terrified to say anything and something like that would've made us a hell of a lot more assured. Just SEEING a whole organization that's inclusive would have helped us accept ourselves.
Yes, personal websites and digging around is good and great, but sometimes you're in a pinch and can only look for a few moments, or you're too afraid of what you'll find, and also, having stuff right there on a centralized page can be a matter of accessibility.
We will say it again, and again, and AGAIN as many times as it takes: having those resources, and those resources being very explicit in their inclusion to all causes/origins/identifications can be absolutely vital for some folks' wellbeing, and it isn't said enough.
Before TPA < The Plural Association > it was, like, if you didn't have a direct copy/link to the "How to Survive in a Strange World After Sliding into an Alternate Timeline" and you were a fictive, and you had to deal with exomemory shit you were basically fucked. We still have a copy of the file, both on paper and in a cloud drive file, just in case.
We don't think we will ever meet the system who wrote that, nor see any of their online presence, but it was so, so hard to find done with hours of searching and/or sheer luck.
Small scraps of blogs that don't even exist anymore sit in our paper binders, back here at home. We wish we saved the full layout instead of stripping them down, < but > we did save the exact webpage addresses on them (lo and behold: we don't see them on Wayback, either).
Another story: We remember a gew months ago when we asked < twitter account > @/ireneista about Astrea < Astrea's Web > and how they were doing for reasons, and asking for advice about how we should go about checking things out. We mentioned Oreguiya (sorry, we STILL cannot spell), because we ran into their site, to hear they're already gone, so we panicked and asked Irenes if Astrea's web was saved, stuff like that, because it is so ingrained into us just how fragile all of this is.
We are holding it all gently in our tiny little hands and are afraid to so much as turn our head the wrong way, because it feels like it could be dropped and shattered into irrecoverable pieces.
Don't get us wrong, it's great to have this stuff!
That's actually our point, really: everything is in such a tenuous state right now. We would like it to be more stable, so people can have both the personal experiences AND the professional stuff. \\ end transcription.]
Anyways: we don't necessarily care about what you think of, say, Astrea's Web, or the Empowered Multiplicity movement, or what "side" you are on when it comes to shitty s*s**rse or weather you agree or not. The fact is, those things were and are still very influential to the way things are going now, and so it is absolutely worth archiving and keeping
The fact is that the TPA and its warmline are resources run by, and for, systems, in its entirety and not something beholden to singlet standards, that does not necessarily require physical transit and can be accessed at any time basically for free. Since it's origins-inclusive it makes the community stronger — even if you are skeptical of non-trauma origin systems — this gives folks an "out" by not implying any trauma they supposedly aren't ready to know about.
All of this is so, so important. We genuinely do not know how to explain the scale differences between 2019 and 2022 in terms of information access and community support, and we extremely worried that newer folks to the community are just going to take it all for granted.
There was exactly two other systems, besides us, in our old childhood town of [redacted] depending on what you thought counted. There were so few resources that the terminology used between the two was completely different than our own, because they had known for literal years, and we had found out very recently, and we were able to look up what they couldn't — and the community was still small and fragmented enough that even the more accepted lexicon was hard to find. In 2018. In 2019.
We were the only system who was explicitly "out" in all of our university classes, once we did come out, to the point we had other classmates constantly asking us questions about how we perceived our frontspace and weather we thought they were plural or a system. We always had to tell them that, weather or not something sounds plural to us, they are only ones who can actually determine if that label fits. This is fine and good, but we had only known for about a year at that point. Constantly having to do that could also take away from a productive conversation between colleagues and hinder selves-discovery if what they were looking for was a more solid way of analyzing their brain. We don't have to worry about that anymore, because with the emergence of TPA, a ton of other more accessible resources have popped out of the woodwork. The Crisses have literally repurposed plurality resource dot org. There is a whole website dedicated to free, system-run world conferences, accompanied by an entire youtube channel on which they host said plural pride world conferences.
We do not know how to emphasize the gravity of this statement, that three years ago, you were basically on your own unless you wanted to waste the time and resources to maybe try getting an Officially Confirmed System Diagnosis, and even then just risk being laughed off, or misdiagnosed as something else, or something similar (oh! And good luck if you experience something even remotely outside of medical standards! Or if you have trauma related to psychologists that prevents you from going to an evaluation! You're absolutely fucked!!) and we do not know how to explain to people how terrified we are of the current fragility of what we do have.
Oh, wait —
[Start transcriptio. // But, if a bunch of people in plural communities got together it could be a history share or something like that, and that would be the ideal.
Worry isn't really strong enough to convey the visceral fear after-the-fact, like hallucinating a different shadow than your own. \\ end transcription.]
It turns out we did, in fact, describe the feeling some time late last night. None of this existed a decade ago. None of this three years ago.
Please sit down and think on that for awhile if you have the mental stability to do so. When we say the constant infighting is scaring us, this is exactly why. It wasn't infighting that got us to this point, it was a bunch of people who didn't always agree with each other realizing that it would probably be a better use of our time trying to fundraise for the start of a nonprofit organization, and if you couldn't donate yourself, spreading the word like wildfire and trying to get your wealthier or better-resourced singlet friends/family members to help instead.
**Divider that we used is by the @/seasonal-holiday-system
Idk about anyone else, but when I was convinced I couldn't be a system because I hadn't experienced all of the most horrific violent traumas possible in childhood, I didn't need someone to tell me "Well DID works by making you forget trauma so maybe you did and don't remember!" I didn't even need someone to tell me "Dissociative trauma disorders don't have to be caused by stereotypical ideas of extreme violence, sometimes children dissociate to cope with something as simple and commonplace as bullying." I actually needed someone to tell me "If you're trying to understand who you are and communicate that to the world, does the lens of plurality complicate that or simplify it?"
If the system is starting from scratch or is dealing with internal distress, begin by imagining or creating just one area that feels unconditionally safe and comfortable for everyone.
You don't have to visualize perfectly. Various methods can help solidify the innerworld:
• Meditation: Use safe space or guided imagery meditations.
• Writing/Journaling: Describing the locations, drawing a map, or having alters write about their space can solidify the concepts.
• Art: Drawing, painting, or even building a model in a game like Minecraft or The Sims can help visualize the structure.
making a shared space
The innerworld works best when it functions for the entire system, or at least the parts that are aware of it.
System Input is Crucial: Discuss with aware alters what they need and want in the innerworld. What makes them feel safe? What kind of room/area do they need for their internal roles or activities?
Establish a Common Area: Create a central area where alters can easily meet, communicate, and hand off responsibilities
Define Personal Spaces: Ensure there are specific, personal spaces for alters who need privacy, downtime, or a place to do their work
Address Problem Areas: If there are areas in the innerworld that feel traumatic, unstable, or inaccessible, the primary goal is to make them safe or create safe passages to them, rather than immediately tearing them down or engaging with the trauma directly. (This often requires therapeutic support.)
mapping and organization
Draw a rough sketch, or map, it doesnt have to be perfect or make sense to anyone but your system.
Document key points on the map;
Major Landmarks
Locations and Purpose
Associated Alters: Which alters are heavily associated with or spend most of their time in which location.
we tend to have a remarkably easy time telling who is fronting or present, because it is a quite tangible direction-based system that we feel in our head, as surges, twinges, and jabs — it’s difficult to describe, but all noise has motion to us, so perhaps it’s a form of synesthesia?
regardless, recently i attempted to make a kind of “map” of where our presences range from:
the circles indicate the general presence of the part, while the “tails” indicate the motion they are prone to taking.
my own, for instance — purple — tends to gently ease up and out from the centre in rolling waves, perhaps slightly to the left at times — (although now that i think on it, this is very rare).
green’s is quite centrally at the “north” position, but if she’s fronting her presence can become “central.”
orange, the host, tends to be very central, but can be pulled deeply southward if he is not fronting.
white, in the south-east position, tends to stay in that area and creep closer when he is more present.
red is one of the most erratic, coming in in sudden spear-like jabs from the west-southwest.
with this sense of direction, it can be very easy at times to tell who is thinking of what. of course, any of these can be absent at any time, or sporadic; and in green and i’s case, it can be somewhat difficult to parse at times, especially given that we tend to appear together. i think all parts can be central at times, too, but this is not the norm.
i’m sharing this as i’d like to know if anyone else experiences the presence of parts in the same way — it’s something that we have been very curious about since we started to pay mind to it. otherwise, i am deeply curious to hear of any other sensations or ways of sensing presence people feel.
very choppy drawings but this is very similar to our experience so i drew it too, hope that’s ok!
it’s difficult to two-dimensionalize what’s distinctly past that but i tried two angles to help. this isn’t everyone or everywhere but a good amount of frequent spots
red usually shows up with grounded bodily control, feels distinctly cut-off from mind, thinks from the chest and arm, originates from base of spine
dark boxes can appear anywhere but usually back left quadrant, or bubbles up from middle back then becomes encompassing
white/peach pingpong ball always pops into viscerality in the top center and vibrates there
purple stays in the right hand, but surges up towards shoulders from the ground
blue comes from the left to the center back of head
dark red comes from the right to the right eye right side
purple2 stays in right eye left side, orbiting a small spot
dark brown circles the left eye, not much mobility
yellow comes from the left arm and sits on the back of the head
pink bounces up and down in lower center
green sort of “exudes” from right front quadrant
orange kind of “explodes” to existence from behind and burns overhead towards the front quadrants
bright purple weaves thru the eyes and ears like an obstacle course
salmon pink creeps up from the bottom and sits on the shoulders like a spiky halfcape
grey drifts down from back right and covers the eyes
eye movement/noticing these shapes and textures and stuff in therapy has been very helpful, thanks for posting so others could draw too!
This is absolutely fascinating and well-presented. It’s relieving to see that someone else experiences their parts with this level of tangibility. I hope you don’t mind me reblogging this back so others can see this second representation. I’m curious if the assigned colours are also an automatic, emergent part of this physical experience for you, or moreso something consciously assigned to it. For me I think it’s the latter, but having friends with colour-based synesthesia is making me consider this.
