gimme kiss

L, thirties, germany. passionate about fictional characters.

[surreality51]

Shane doesn’t realize he looks Like That because, despite being ranked as #1 Hottest Player in the MHL and getting numerous sponsorships, he thinks “it’s not like I get treated any differently in my daily life because of my looks, people aren’t throwing themselves at me left and right, so it must not be a big deal.”

But the thing is, people DO throw themselves at Shane left and right, he just doesn’t realize it.

The Voyagers are at a club and girls are eyeing him like the last steak in a tiger enclosure, but Hayden is about to bang his head on the table because Shane is in his usual Captain mode and paying zero attention to the girls. A few of the bolder ones approach him but he’s like “Hi, can I help you?” and “oh sorry, I’m on duty right now, I can’t leave my team” and Hayden gives up, he just can’t anymore. Jackie will need to step up and find this man a girl cuz Shane ain’t gonna do it on his own.

At brunch with Rose, the waiter is checking him out hardcore and smiling flirtatiously. Rose teases him about it, and Shane is like “???? He’s just doing his job? Isn’t it his job to be friendly?”

Years later, Hayden and Rose are trading war stories of Shane being oblivious to human attraction and Ilya’s just like, *shrug* you just need to be clear and direct with him, and Rose and Hayden both stare at him like “what do you mean?”

And that’s how they learn that the way you get through to Shane about your intentions is you have to jerk off at him while looking him in the eye.

[jewelcoatfish]

the first time shane called ilya baby he meant it in the “you big baby” sense. ilya was pouting and shane was smiling at him fondly saying “baby” but so much adoration was bleeding through his words it felt like it was delivered as a pet name. and ilya looked up at him awestruck and lovesick and looked like he could faint right then and there. so shane made it his mission to call ilya his baby all day every day

[mymansmoon]

imagining shane hanging out with his parents and while he's away from his phone doing something with his dad a call comes in. yuna sees this and goes, "shane, someone's calling you!"

and shane says, "who is it?"

"lily!"

"oh." shane immediately sets aside what he's doing and walks over, saying to his mom, "that's ilya."

yuna looks at him in confusion as he picks up his phone. "why is ilya saved as 'lily' in your phone?"

and shane looks at her, away, shrugs as if it's obvious and simply says, "I can't have ilya rozanov saved on my phone, mom" before answering the call with a, "hey, baby" and walking away.

leaving yuna (and david) standing shocked and, once again, shaken at how little they knew about their son and the layers of concealment he's had to operate under for years just to love who he loves.

[firstprinced]

fave ilya looks in S1 (15/x): i-ly-aaa!!!

[jewelcoatfish]

whenever ilya gets too drunk people call shane. shane comes in and nudges ilya and ilya drapes himself onto shane and looks at him all dopey.

“you are here” “of course i am” “shane hollander is taking me home” “shane hollander-rozanov is taking you home” “shane hollander takes my last name” “yes he did. do you want to come home with him?” “i’ll go anywhere shane hollander goes” “okay then let’s go home baby”

ilya drunkenly smiles and babbles to anyone that listens that his husband is taking him home. his husband shane hollander-rozanov. did he mention shane was his husband? did he mention shane took his last name? and shane would find it cute if ilya wasn’t wiggling all over the place and make it very difficult for him to take home.

[gaynehollander]

Sometimes I think about the fact that almost every single person who found out about Shane and Ilya felt the need to ask Shane "him? really? he's the one you want to be with?"

I think about how Ilya has had to make his way through life mostly on his own since he was twelve years old, about the, how he moved to a new country as a teenager and was immediately thrust in front of a camera without knowing the language or how to cope with his newfound fame. I think about the preconceived notions of Russians and how, in the absence of being able to accurately communicate (both because of the language barrier and his repressive upbringing), Ilya decided to or was forced to lean into that stereotype. I think about how soft Ilya allows himself to be with Shane, about how he takes care of him, about how silly and goofy he can be, how he's sometimes just a grown kid, how other times he's the only person who can shut Shane's brain of. I think about how kind he is, how caring, how deeply he feels, how incredibly empathetic he is. I think about how wildly Shane loves him. How there literally never could have been anyone else. I think about how incredibly hurtful it is that no one trusts Shane to make his own decisions about his own fucking life and how much it hurts seeing the coldness the world regards his partner with. I think about Shane getting home and walking straight into Ilya's arms, after having to (once again) justify his love for the best man he's ever known, allowing himself to take comfort in his warm embrace, even when it feels to Shane like he should be the one providing both comfort and shelter.

I think about the surety Shane would feel when thinking to himself, "yes. Him. No one else."

[eemolu]

i just know there's some twitter user named moyshane out there who's drawing fanart of shane as every single russian word ilya uses as a pet name. it started as a tomato (#moypomidor is viral after shane was mic'd for the first time on the cens) but then they collaborate with a lip reading account who somehow also speaks russian and it's like. bam shane as a toaster shane as a rabbit shane as a wet floor sign (this one is strangely kinky and gets flagged). ilya voice shane good assist my beautiful little chetyrekhlistnyy klever and then two hours later there's a drawing of shane's face in the middle of a four leaf clover doing the rounds on twitter. shane finds out about it and he's so annoyed he's like STOP calling me cereal call me a hockey player or something so they'll draw me as a hockey player and ilya is like shane moya lyubov there are ten thousand drawings of you as a hockey player already. i want to see you as a brontosaurus. and moyshane, god bless their soul, delivers

[cloudabserk]

boob pillow

[gremlinnddraws]

“You killed me Hollander. I am dead”.

[lexilexilexilexile]

Shane and Ilya’s daughter has to do a family tree project in class. They’ve done a great job at emphasizing to her that parents can be any two people that love each other and she understands that other kids might not know that. The rest of the project will be pretty straight forward - Shane doesn’t have any siblings and their daughter doesn’t know much about Ilya’s family at this age besides that papa has a mama that watches over them and that loves her very much. Shane is still nervous about it and having a Very Normal Shane Reaction wondering if she will feel left out for not having a mom and feeling sad that she will never know her papas family and wondering if she is lonely and if they should have another kid. When they get an email from the school asking them to come in at pickup to discuss her family tree Ilya is already angry and ready to pick a fight with whatever stupid kid is bullying their daughter for having two dads. They walk into the classroom and their daughter is standing with her arms crossed insisting that there is nothing wrong with her project and when the teacher slides it across the table they see something so bizarre that they don’t know where to start. She’s drawn on only one side of the tree - Ilya and Shane both stemming from Yuna and David. Next to them are about ten stick figures of different sizes all with hearts around them. While they’re trying to decipher what on earth she has drawn she starts presenting it with her little finger saying “see? Dad is grandma Yuna and grandpa David’s son and Papa is grandma Yuna and grandpa David’s son, too.” And then she moves her finger along with “and that’s uncle Hayden, uncle Troy and uncle Harris, uncle Evan, uncle Luca….” And as she’s naming every stick figure Shane is trying to figure out how he’s going to explain to her teacher that he is not married to one of his 10 brothers when he is actually an only child and Ilya has to turn away because he’s crying at the reminder that the family that adopted him adopted her as well and there has never been a child that has been so loved

[bugslibraryy]

No but guys. I know this because I was there. Ilya gets a bad splinter in his foot and he’s all “shaneeee” big big sad eyes and pout and hoping around not putting any weight on it. “Shaneeee we have to go to hospital” and Shane is like oh my god get on the couch Ilya.

He gets out their first aid kit and he’s all 😠 serious kitten face as he cleans it and gets the splinter out and Ilya is all “what’s the verdict doc” and Shane is like “can’t be saved, we have to cut the whole foot off” in his flat voice as he’s pulling the splinter out and putting a plaster on it. Ilya nods seriously and says “ah. Ok at least is not my cock then 😕” and Shane is like “Ilya” as he leans down and gives Ilya a kiss over the plaster (despite it being on his foot, despite Ilya having been barefoot in the backyard the last few hours) and says “all better” his hand rubbing the top of his foot.

and then Ilya is all oh 🥺🤭🥰 “come here doctor I need a lot more kisses I think it’s working I think it’s healing me” and Shane huffs but goes to give his kisses- he doesn’t want to be done for malpractice after all.

[cloudabserk]

he was bracing himself for bad news

[shanehollandered]

my no stakes hollanov headcanon of the day is that hollanov accidentally acquire a cat. it's a black boy cat with white whiskers and yellow eyes and he's one long noodle and he loves shane. and when faced with naming him, shane panicks and calls him puck. which leads to people being like, haha of course you'd name your pet after a hockey thing. and shane’s like, no actually, it's for shakespeare, and everyone will be like, oh. OH. meanwhile ilya is standing in the corner shaking his head completely baffled that people actually believe this outrageous and so very obvious lie because shane got so flustered and embarrassed about naming his cat puck (for hockey) that he relentlessly googled puck (characters in media).

[normal-about-hollanov]

Harris posts a compilation of shane's 'ohhh you piss me off', whacking ilya with his stick during practice, 'no NO', his Angry Pout ™️, 'ilya so HELP me', glaring from the bench, n ofc the ever present 'fuck off rozanov'. at the end is another compilation of the camera panning to Ilya's reaction to every one with the most endearing ily eyes. its captioned nobody save him. hes right where he wants to be. the hollanov shippers send that shit triple platinum in a day.

[ivealwayssaidthis]

i dont like when shane is characterized as being a color coded spreadsheet super organized and neat guy. that's not him. he's in a pressure cooker of his own design but he pays people to do the admin for him. he pays for an interior designer and a stylist and a perfectly balanced meal delivery service. his mom manages his calendar. shane wants so badly to outsource control to someone else who can tell him how to be shane hollander. he does not have a fucking color coded spreadsheet

[drawballa]

Sleepy boys 💤

[ohlittlefox]

my hollanov ♡