Answering once and for all: Is it a Man

all judgements are passed based on Plato's description of a man as a featherless biped. For all intents and purposes on this blog, Man is short for Human.

[apocryphalstories]

I truly appreciate kindness. I appreciate a quick message, I appreciate those who ask me if I’m okay, I appreciate every person in my life who has tried to brighten my days a little.

[b0tster]

animated lesbians making out as a follower milestone on bluesky. enjoy 💋💋

[critter-creature-or-beast]

This is a...

critter

creature

beast

Voting ended onMay 28

Submitted for classification by anonymous.

"Pelican spider???"

[featherless-biped-checker]

That is a wise old man

[dragongirlsnout]

[senatortedcruz]

Oh my god…..check out the cheeks on this beast

[senatortedcruz]

This is a man

[featherless-biped-checker]

Erm, while it may be featherless, that is most certainly not a biped, and thus must be some other manner of beast.

[mossman-making-stars]

So apparently Tumblr ate my original post about this but:

A couple weeks ago I’m going to get lunch and as I open the fridge, my mother attempts to communicate to me that any chicken currently in the fridge is ok for people to eat, because the chicken that was intended for the dog to eat has been used up.

What she actually says is, “That’s human chicken.”

After taking a minute to process all horrible implications of the phrase “human chicken”, I decide to go a different route and hold the tupperware of chicken out to my sister, saying, “Behold, a man!”

This was evidently the wrong choice, as it meant I had to explain to my parents who Diogenes was, thereby cementing the incident in their minds and leading to me, just now, opening the fridge to see the following incredibly cursed image:

[simonalkenmayer]

This is the funniest post I have ever read on Tumblr for so many…many reasons.

[pathos-logical]

[ID: A Tupperware container of shredded chicken labeled “human”. End ID]

[songstep4002]

@arewebeholdingaman

[arewebeholdingaman]

yeah sure why not

[featherless-biped-checker]

Ermmm that is shredded meat, and therefore not bipedal. So agree to disagree there buddy

[doh007]

[featherless-biped-checker]

Agreed

[suzumori521]

Notes on a Non-Human Character I Saw in a Dream – Part ②

He was perched on the shoulder of a well-built young man.

The man was a member of an organization dedicated to the protection, management, and research of mythological creatures — an organization I was also a part of.

In the dream, the man was wearing the organization’s jacket, but I’m sure he would get injured, so in this illustration, I’ve dressed him in body armor with ceramic plates.

[featherless-biped-checker]

Featherless? X

Biped? ✓

That is not a man

[holedyke]

ahh i see ....

[whatcoloristhatcat]

black mackerel tabby

[vodkaing]

its humon baby

[thats-a-cat]

that's a cat ✅️

[rickybabyboy]

thats a humon baby ✅

[featherless-biped-checker]

Featherless: ✓

Biped: X

That is not a man. Unsure of if it is baby that's not my job.

[spellinwaiting]

[my-son-gohan-deactivated2020121]

[my-son-gohan-deactivated2020121]

[my-son-gohan-deactivated2020121]

[my-son-gohan-deactivated2020121]

[my-son-gohan-deactivated2020121]

[furbearingbrick]

stop

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[transmascmarypoppins]

why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable

[cecilsrandomeverything]

Broken notes… deactivated account… removed image….

Finally, we have them all.

[spacefinch]

In addition: OP’s name is just… gone. No “[insert username]-deactivated[insert a bunch of numbers]” as is the standard for deactivated blogs.

Just the world “deactivated.” Look upon their post, ye mighty, and despair.

[chatblancofficial]

It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.

[pixelartpeach]

New game: See how many times you can click “view previous reblog” until the chain breaks.

[kyssimmee]

screencap redraw

[kyssimmee]

in case anyone hasn’t seen it, please understand

[thankstothe]

folk hero really

[teaboot]

The fun and fantastic part of this little throw-away scene is that Viagra was INVENTED FOR THE PURPOSE OF IMPROVING CIRCULATION FOR HEART PROBLEMS. Causing erections was an unplanned side-effect that became their moneymaker, but VIAGRA WAS ORIGINALLY MEANT FOR HEART CONDITIONS. He's literally prescribing a medication for the purpose it was intended for before the developer decided an aid for erectile dysfunction was more profitable

I LOVED the writing in this episode

[thestuffedalligator]

This is the level of hyperanalystic bullshit I live for

[vivaciousarcanist]

not so fast, in the review of gusteau’s anton ego compares gusteau to chef boyardee or hector boiardi with a tone implying that boyardee is dead and in history

given that gusteau died shortly after this and the will takes 2 years after death

assuming that ego’s review was the same year that boiardi died then the absolute EARLIEST the movie can take place is 1987

and about the incredibles, when looking for the scene with the newspaper i stumbled across this

a headline from 2002, and given that lawsuits generally take a while and september to december is really quick for the banning of supers so let’s say they were banned in mid 2003, at the EARLIEST incredibles can take place in 2018, with ratatouille taking place sometime in between 2003 and 2018

assuming that was a mistake, thunderhead died november 15 1958, a date where superheroes would’ve been illegal if incredibles 1 took place in 1962

and adding onto the impossibility of the date being 1962 his death is included in the shutdown reports of the national supers agency

so the year in which the movies take place is impossible to find because the staff of the incredibles couldn’t chose a date and commit to it

[thestuffedalligator]

I take it back

This is the level of hyperanalystic bullshit I live for

[dog-potato]

IS NO ONE GONNA MENTION THAT THUNDERHEAD IS GAY?!?!

[dammitradar]

OMG OMG OMG

“loves kids, adopted single father of 5 children, raising them with help of his roommate, Scott” 

[majestic-spiffingness-deactivat]

[nothowtheforceworks]

oh my god, they were roommates

[onenicebugperday]

Leaf blotch miner moth, Caloptilia protiella, Gracillariidae

Photographed at Airlie Beach, Australia by Steve & Alison1

Shared with permission; do not remove credit or re-post!

[featherless-biped-checker]

Featherless? ✓

Biped? ✓

That is a man.

[blignick]

[featherless-biped-checker]

Featherless? ✓

Biped?✓

That is a man

[winnie-daze]

The meme yeah