HR obsession sideblog

[yiiiiiiiikes25]

ilya at the draft and ilya the year shane locks it down

[lavenderprose]

I do wonder what would have happened to hollanov if Ilya got outed sometime during their situationship era, before the tuna meltdown, because Ilya got caught letting some svelte twink blow him in an alley or something. I wonder if this would drive Shane to the edge (because this ties into my hc that Shane tortured himself with the knowledge that Ilya was hooking up with women, but never once did it occur to him that he'd also be hooking up with other men)

(obviously this canon divergence would have dire consequences for Ilya, but I'm more interested in the 'driving Shane insane with apoplectic levels of jealousy' angle.)

I have been rotating this for a full 24 hours uhgggg

Okay so. I want to say that, if Ilya got outed, his own jealousy would not immediately be at the forefront of Shane's mind. It would be the pungeant Doritos nacho seasoning on top of the greater spiral that he would immediately enter into. The name of the initial spiral would be "I Have To Save Ilya" and it would, underneath the panic, be wish fulfillment of the highest order. Shane has always enjoyed fantasizing about saving Ilya. He loves to daydream about the rink catching fire and everyone gets out safely except WAIT where is Ilya Rozanov?? And it's Shane who has to run back into a burning building and use his Superior Knowledge of Ilya to find him and he's trapped under a beam or something (Shane read that article about the mom lifting the car off her kid like six times) and Shane pulls him out and then they limp triumphantly out of the rink together and everyone cheers and now Ilya has a reason to look at him like he personally put the moon and stars in the sky. In public even! Wow!

So Shane would immediately go into crisis management mode. If Ilya was outed, I truly believe that it would trigger a chain of events wherein Yuna Hollander woke up one morning to the news that Ilya Rozanov had been caught going down on some rockin' twink (I do think it needs to be Ilya both for the Shane Jealousy Potential and also because someone with short hair giving Ilya Rozanov head would come with almost too much plausible deniability versus the inalienable truth of Dick In Mouth) (An additional aside to this is that Ilya almost NEVER gives Shane head on his knees and it drives Shane crazy that he did that. He doesn't even want Ilya to do that TO HIM Shane loves their dynamic he's just like. Why?? Why did he do that?? The answer is molly) and by the end of the day Yuna's own son has come out to her and in the same breath told her that he needs her help to safe Ilya Rozanov. Because um. Solidarity.

So then it turns into a Whole Thing where the Hollanders are working behind the scenes welding NDAs like grenades to make sure that Ilya Rozanov does not get disappeared to Russia, never to be seen again. The NHL, of course, cannot weasel out of Ilya's contract (Even if they could, the people of Boston would riot--that's their homo and he won them the Cup) so he's protected by his employment status to an extent but the fact that Ilya Rozanov needs to Defect From Russia becomes immediately and poignantly apparent. So there are lots of closed-door meetings with NHL lawyers and immigration lawyers and the U.S. State Department and fucking?? Yuna Hollander?? And probably Farah since Ilya's agent is Russian and blocked his number.

And you know we're just spitballing here so I genuinely don't know what happens but I do know that at some point Shane and Ilya are standing alone in a hotel room in Los Angeles (I imagine this whole thing is taking place over the summer. I also imagine that they're in LA because Ilya is making a Tour of Bisexual Self-Flagellation where he makes various media appearances to drum up the sympathy of the American people and on this day Ilya has appeared on Ellen (Before she was evil) and he actually had a great time meeting Ellen (she wasn't evil yet) and Yuna Hollander was backstage like Dear God These People Are Not Treated Well (Ellen has been evil the whole time)) and in this Los Angeles hotel room Shane is coming down off of mild hear stroke because it is one million degrees in Los Angeles and he runs hot and he's laying on the bed in the cool and dark and just says from underneath his own arm, "I cannot fucking believe you did this."

Which triggers the anticipated argument. Oh sorry Hollander I know everything is always about you/shut the fuck up asshole you know that's not what I mean/okay so what do you/it was FUCKING IRRESPONSIBLE Rozanov/YOU DON'T THINK I--

Then there's a moment of angry silence and Shane scoffs and says, "And all of this for some fucking--slut--"

And Ilya grabs his jaw and says, "Oh, that's what this is about. Jealous Hollander."

"Shut the fuck up."

"So what, you think you're the only man I should fuck?"

"Maybe!" Shane yells. "I'm the only one who knows how to be fucking careful! Clearly, I'm the only one who cares! The only one who can keep you safe--"

And then Ilya gets on the bed and bullies his way between Shane's legs and says, "You just want me all to yourself. You are jealous," but his eyes are wild because it's been twelve years since anyone cared about keeping him safe. About keeping him.

And Shane says, "You know I am. Fuck, you make me so fucking jealous I can't even--"

And then they fuck. ☺️

[allstarrocks]

spot the difference

[themoonandmyman]

Shane teasing his Hole at Ilya for two whole years

[ilyasmole]

casual sexual intimacy really does get me goin i must say. thinking abt hollanov just touching each other randomly, sticking their hands down each other's pants to cup each other's cocks out of nowhere, ilya just playing with shane's hole while they relax on the couch.....like lemme do a line of that.....

[entertaining-two]

Can I include: Casual cockwarming. Maybe they’re watching a movie/show,both of them on the couch, and Shane just wants Ilya in him. So Ilya stays in him and hard for the entirety of the movie/show. They watch, they chat about scenes, goes on for hours. Ilyas hand gently gripping Shane and stroking him occasionally. Until eventually they can’t handle it anymore and they full on start having sex.

[ilyasmole]

DEE................................@gimmiekiss1221

[ilyasmole]

hi so i need yall to stop adding things that make me feel fucking insane and unhinged and feral........................ @balderdashboard

[hollanoveau]

The way I've been spinning around Cliff trying to support Ilya through the tunameltdown in my head. My stomach hurts about them.

All of the tricks Cliff has cobbled together over the last seven years of weathering Ilya's lows. He's never been able to fix it. He knows he isn't fixing it when he stands between the captain and their overeager teammates after practices so Ilya doesn't have to feel bad later about snapping the rookie's head off.

He isn't fixing it when he barges into Ilya's home, key on his keyring for three years now, only for emergencies and it always is one, and throws some vintage silk at his head and tells him Cliff needs his help to get laid tonight because if anything can get Ilya to leave his house it's the idea that Cliff, anyone, needs him in a way he can tease them for later.

He isn't fixing it when he joins Ilya in his dark living room and lets a movie play until Ilya is slumped against the solid side of Cliff, his good buddy Cliff, who doesn't mind, loves more than almost anything in the world actually, getting a hand on Ilya's thigh to pull his big body against Cliff's bigger one, with an offhand, "Been a fucking minute for you, yeah, Roz? Blue balls over here, come on. Work it out." While Ilya grinds his dick against the crease of Cliffs thigh until he comes and slides down to his knees and winks like he's back in his body for the first time in a week before pulling Cliff's sweatpants down and spitting.

He doesn't fix it. But usually, he feels like he's helping Ilya ride out the wave. Usually it's a couple days, a week, a few weeks at most, even the post-Moscow low that Ilya has to ride out for a few weeks at the beginning of pre-season training. It's been months.

Cliff knows what it looks like when a man feels like something dark is closing in on him. He's seen it happen at the fringes of the Family, seen the way good people try to fix it, and can't, and how sometimes the only thing to do is step back and let the guy take the fall. He doesn't want to know what it would look like to let Ilya fall. He's never going to step back and find out.

He walks into Ilya's Tampa hotel room. Key pressed into his hand as soon as they'd checked in, just for emergencies. And he hears Ilya laugh and shout at him, and maybe Cliff hadn't realized until the moment the wave breaks over both of them that he'd been drowning too.

OHHHHHHHH HEY. HEY. YOU GET A GOOD GRADE IN FANDOM. YOUVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION AND TAKING NOTES. OHHHHHHHH MY GOD. YEAH. YEAH.

here’s the thing about when they’re hooking up post tunameltdown. cliff is moaning into ilyas neck and panting and calls him “roz” and ilya yanks his head back, tears in his eyes, and says “ilya. call me ilya. please.” and that’s the most crucial thing bc THATS THE THING HES SENSITIVE ABOUT.

and cliff does. over and over and over. bc that’s his boy. and he will do anything ilya asks.

[lenascer]

oh lord

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

Maybe one time Shane's more keyed up than usual after a big game and says he Doesn't want to kneel and puts up a fuss about it. Ilya, who knows the whole attitude is going to get worse if he doesn't nip it in the bud, is like oh okay you don't want to kneel right away? Say no more. Puts him over his knee and then when he's done now Shane has to kneel with a sore bottom and tears in his eyes 😔 No one was even focusing on them in the locker room which somehow makes it Worse, the lack of spectacle to it, just our captain disciplining our silly omega, nothing to see here really

No one was even focusing on them in the locker room which somehow makes it Worse, the lack of spectacle to it, just our captain disciplining our silly omega, nothing to see here really

^^^ THIS THIS THIS‼️‼️‼️ THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUTTTT!!!! The casualness of these kinds of public displays is whatakes this au sOoo fucking sexy to me. Literally like: "What if your 24/7 power exchange and domestic discipline Dom/sub dynamic was culturally accepted and even considered biologically determined" HAWTTTT 🔥🔥🔥🔥

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

Scrabbling at the floor and foaming at the mouth whenever everyone starts talking about your omega rookie Shane…

Does he ever get punished in front of the team? Like the presence of the team itself is a punishment (as detailed in the prostate orgasm post) but Shane acts up, intentionally as in bratfailure or unintentionally as in also bratfailure, and at the time Ilya just tells him he’ll regret it so the next day after practice the team has to watch him get spanked or Shane has to kiss Ilya skates in front of everyone…oh the humiliation oh the objectification

Ilya does this to really drive the point home for Shane and besides it good for the team to see that Ilya will keep their omega on a tight leash and discipline him

YUUUUUPPP 💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥🔥

Honestly, at the start, the team aspect of Shane being the TEAM'S omega is important in negotiating his dynamic with Ilya - it's the thin veneer of plausible professionalism they need and the reason it takes so long for them to actually fuck. Everything is all tied up in the dictates of their society and how it effects their professions: Shane NEEDS to submit to Ilya as his Alpha,,, for The Team™. It's basically taking the body economy dynamics of professional sports to the absolute extreme - your body is a commodity. And that means most of Ilya's displays of dominance are public at the start.

I think these displays are also public because Ilya also has to frequently assert his dominance, especially if they get new transfers who are Alpha's - he needs to re-establish the pecking order. And part of doing THAT is showing his dominance over the team's omega.

Public spankings as punishment are DEFINITELY happening, but I think, since Shane is such a bratfailure, they're pretty rare. However what ISN'T rare is Shane having to kneel at Ilya's feet and quietly submit himself to him after every game to help regulate his hormones after such a high intensity environment.

I'm just picturing everyone else in the locker room going about their usual ablutions and getting changed and chatting, all while Shane is quietly knelt at Ilya's feet, his head pillowed on Ilya's thigh. Ilya is absently stroking his hair and casually scenting him while he chats with the boys, not even giving Shane his full attention, really. It's all just routine at this point. PHEWWWW 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[wyatthazy]

Really? :D

[naturalpr3y]

Ilya thoughts….if he takes the tuna melt fallout to be punishment for taking emotional liberties, that raises the possibility that showing off dancing with a woman in the club is not *just* taunting Shane about what he’s missing, it’s also a demonstration that he can return to baseline. It’s a pitch: look, I can be fun, I can be casual, I can see other people. I’m not obsessed with you, I promise. Remember how good I am at using my body? Instrumentalize me baby.

Like we talk about Tampa bar being Ilya auditioning to be the sidepiece but I think he was laying the groundwork for it in the club. Hell yeah I <3 infidelity

YESSSSSSSSSSS + youre conforming you want us to conform i can conform do you like that? im obsessed with that scene because i think a large part of it was ilya continuing to show shane how little he cares + is effected by their breakup but everything he does shows his ass so bad and he knows it. ignoring shane at the game shows he cares putting on a big show at rhe bar for shane shows he cares…. he Gaf

[hollanovshome]

drew this in a fugue state last night @aslongasitsblack

starting to realize my art can be best described as crack taken seriously

[aslongasitsblack]

kristen stewart at hooters but its pre-out shane with like volunteer firefighters at the metros stadium

[felinityroyal]

Sometimes knowing a bit about real-life hockey is a curse for me in HR fandom, because unfortunately I know that most players don't wear old-school jock straps with their butts out, but instead wear regular boxer briefs or whatever underneath these compression shorts that have a removable cup. So this is the jock I can't help but picture Ilya attempting to remove with his teeth, when he sends Shane that text:

However, we as fandom can put Shane in the old-school jocks if we want. It's our sandbox. Maybe he won a title wearing one when he was like 12 and now the old style is lucky for him. And personally whenever a Tumblr post or a fic mentions Shane in a jock, I choose deliberately to picture the garter options:

[ticklefightgeno]

connor mcdavid always kinda looks like a guy who’s quietly dying of bond sickness because he thinks the guy he’s bonded with rejected him and he doesn’t want to make a fuss. when actually the guy just doesn’t realize they bonded because he’s kind of obtuse

[mmxiii-writes]

Sounds like a delicious @helenish fic 🥰

[helenish]

slander, because Connor McDavid would not ever jeopardize the integrity of his play and betray his sacred duty to his team by allowing bond sickness to take hold and weaken him, he would just figure out exactly how much skin-to-skin contact he needs to appropriately manage his condition and maintain his level of play and maybe that's not really enough to feel good, ever, but it's not about feeling good, it's about performance, and a few studies suggest that moderate bond hunger can actually increase reaction time so it's not all bad, it's really not all bad, he's fine, it's just a hookup every 3-6 weeks and that's not enough to really bother or inconvenience anyone, right? Not if he pays attention and makes sure to do what Leon, uh, the person likes in bed. That's not enough for anyone to get annoyed or notice how much he needs it. Don't stay for breakfast.

[lexicanons]

AU where Ilya is always very stoic and short in press conferences and interviews, like he absolutely hates being there, except for when Reporter Shane ask questions. Whenever Shane asks him anything, his face lights up and he always gives Shane proper and thoughtful answers. He’s never sarcastic or short with Shane and he will ask Shane if the answer was good enough like “I know my English isn’t perfect. Do you need me to repeat or say in different way?” The internet is begging Shane to date Ilya (even though they’re not sure if he likes men) because they’re tired of seeing Ilya yearn so hard at every press conference/interview. Shane isn’t completely oblivious and notices how Ilya looks at him and how he treats him, but Shane tries his best to ignore Ilya because he doesn’t want people to question his journalistic integrity. Ilya is making it very hard for him though.

(I imagine Ilya is playing in Ottawa and openly bi since he doesn’t have to go back to Russia. Shane is only out to his parents, and maybe 1 or 2 friends, because he thinks being openly gay will affect his career and access to the locker room. He thinks the Ottawa organization and fans are fine with Ilya because he’s such a great player and has won them many cups, but won’t be fine with him.)

[felinityroyal]

This is delicious because, unlike players on rival teams dating each other (which was a drama but not actually an ethical problem for non-homophobes), a reporter dating a player on the team he covers absolutely would be a real ethical issue and require Shane to quit his job! A conflict of interest disclosure would not be enough for that.

Shane loves hockey sooo much in every universe, and kissing Ilya would be like kissing hockey (win!) but also would mean he's done with his hockey-adjacent career (huge loss!), at least in Ottawa. So he resists, until...

He has to do a deep-dive profile on Ilya, and spend days and days with him, at his home (!!) and on the road. Ilya flirts endlessly and Shane loves it, and hates that he loves it, and flirts back a little bit to their mutual delight. He has to jack off in the Centaurs airplane bathroom during a late-night flight sitting next to Ilya, talking quietly with their heads close together. Ilya's smirk when he gets back says he definitely knows Shane did this.

Shane finally files his story, waiting until the day it's published to give in and suck Ilya's dick - "just this once." It's transcendently good for them both.

He swears never again, but then of course it happens again, and again, and the guilt is killing Shane...

But then, maybe a job opens up to cover the Metros instead, so he can still cover the MLH full time from a nearby city. And his PWHL-beat colleague covers just the Metros-Centaurs games so there's no conflict of interest!

(My OC PWHL journalist, who I just made up two seconds ago, has a daughter in that league, I've decided. So Shane covers her daughter's games in exchange and their editor is very cool about it all.)

Can you guess I have personal and professional connections to journalism by how seriously I'm taking the ethical issues of this extremely hot AU idea? Lol.

[radialarch]

"and then if people saw us out in public or whatever, it wouldn't be so fucking crazy" god shane & ilya's first date out in public is going to be so stupid. out at lunch ostensibly discussing a foundation thing but neither of them can stop grinning. their shoes are touching under the table. shane argued they shouldn't fuck beforehand but ilya made some persuasive counterarguments ("what, you think they'll see it on you, big just got fucked sign? hollander, if that's true we're already fucked" while sucking shane's dick) and now when shane shifts in his seat ilya flicks his eyebrows up like he knows exactly what shane's feeling (a little tender, a little open). shane pays for lunch without thinking and then says "my treat, don't worry," when ilya makes a move, so okay they're definitely gonna fuck again in half an hour while ilya murmurs "my rich boyfriend... what else can you treat me to" into shane's ear from behind

[felinityroyal]

I loooove playing with money stuff for Ilya and Shane, especially because of that conversation in canon about taking a salary hit for Ottawa and having a rich husband. Taking turns who is roleplaying as the sugar daddy/baby, Ilya putting cash on the nightstand for 'hooker' Shane, Shane putting Ilya in a one of a kind Rolex, Ilya opening the passenger door of his most expensive flashy car for Shane at a fancy event...