[ineffag-swag]

I guess I must have amazing taste because somehow everything that I like are things that I enjoy

[mutationgirl]

(having a good week) that’s right. the goal is to increase my baseline. make the spirals shallower until they spin lazily on the surface of the water, lose their suction. im not trying to fix it all at once, im trying to incrementally improve my way into something tolerable. and once im there maybe i can shoot for good

(having a bad week) and in my terrible forge i will temper the flames of ruin

[contemptible-scoundrel]

dude. bensons going to mercilessly punish our holes and throats for this

[feldfrog]

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ. That its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come

[memorycycle]

genius. it creates energy clones of itself to gather resources, while the main body stays alert and safe. and if i attack, it can simply swap bodies with one of its clones

[orpheuslament]

we need to come up with a better term for bootlicking because i personally think licking someone's boots is a beautifully erotic & romantic gesture

[doppelgender]

A dry sense of humping

[fishpondfish]

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

[mousidy]

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

[pissvortex]

Imagine how bad that first post-nut clarity hits for a freshly married mormon

[soshinee]

if u think abt it i guess bald ppl are the most aerodynamic. i bet if u shot a bald person out of a cannon they wld fly way further than a haired person

[soshinee]

which of course is a huge advantage in day to day life

[godisafujoshi]

[motherfucker-unlimited]

I don't give an amazing digital fuck

[segamascott]

[things-that-are-not-true]

i just bought a toyota speck for $0.003

[yamada-ryo]

moral of the story: there was a penis gnome

[milknjuice-deactivated20190908]

New Taylor swift song called fuck like a mountain rat

[memorycycle]

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them