may my american dream lie in a wasteland of tears

ook i have to confess i left tumblr cause twitter made me believe it was nothing but a pit of horror and [REDACTED] porn but frankly this place is more welcoming than twitter could ever wish to be. plus i missed my cute and calming minecraft themed blog. also fuck cops; black lives matter today and forever.

[gaysweethearts]

bi and trans icons for cat and enderman. like or reblog if using!

[rainrebel-moved04012021]

the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk

[the-malevolent-platypus]

“Perry is strictly professional and also a platypus”

I love the fact that “professional” is the first reason and “platypus” is the second, because this is extremely plausible for Perry.

“Yeah no I can’t fuck I’m on duty”.

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

Did you know that…?

1.Doofenshmirtz isn’t evil anymore,allowing Perry to date him

2.Romance betweet animal/human isn’t frowned upon in the Dwampyverse

we even got humans falling in love with inanimate objects, albeit played for laughs

[micaxiii]

one of Doofenshmirtz’ dates ditched him for a whale

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

we are talking about a universe where this is canon

for god’s sake

[rainrebel-moved04012021]

Look, I’m not that knowledgeable about Phineas and Ferb lore (although I’m very glad that my post resonated with the Gay Scientists Dating Tired Platypuses fandom) but what, pray tell, the fuck is going on? am i having a stroke? im willing to accept the teacher falling in love with her desk because language teachers just are like that but is this nerd about to bang an ice cone?? hello?????

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

It’s the ice cream machine,and her name is Carla

[darkwingsnark]

Let us also pop bottles for the time Doofenshmirtz had to help his ex-thwarty call’s current nemesis become desirable for punching again. 

[writtenletterstotheworld]

I thought Perry was with the Panda?

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

That’s a funny history actually.Peter the Panda is also dating his respective nemesis,he even got to met his parents

‘‘our boy is all grown up’‘ ‘‘why is he a panda bear’‘

had me crying

[shoggoth-the-bitch]

I think there was a scene where Peter and Perry were having dinner together at a fancy restaurant. But that was before Doofenshmirtz stopped being evil.

[journal-three]

what the fuck is going on in Phineas and Ferb

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

@deenalloh you have to watch milo murphy’s law season 2 to know what’s going on with Doofenshmirtz life.He stopped being evil to commit to his future self: ‘’Professor Time’’ inventor of time-travel and a public figure.

and he is trying to be a good guy now

also there’s 2 more time lines where he ends up good

1.Science teacher

2. O.W.C.A agent (The OWCA Files)

this universe is big and vast and doesn’t end at Phineas and Ferb

[whatamidoingqueer]

Okay but saying that just because some people in that universe are in love with animals/inanimate objects doesn’t mean it’s normal.

I mean, in our universe, someone wanted to marry the Eiffel Tower.

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

yeah..but you see..there’s this wonderful thing in cartoons that real life doesn’t have and its animals being actual sentient/anthropomorphic. So,you can’t compare our life with a cartoon ship in this case

[looney-mooney]

Also Perry is arguably one of the smartest characters on both shows when it comes to deductive reasoning, common sense, and social intelligence. He could tell just by looking at a room exactly what happened there a few hours ago. He can problem-solve on the fly, and does so very often. He has basic engineering skills (or at least, “basic” for this universe, which is kinda masterful for our universe), and can communicate complex thoughts to others despite being physically incapable of speaking English (he even knows ASL!) To claim that Perry the Platypus is incapable of providing consent simply because he isn’t human is a disservice to his character. And honestly, if we’re going by the anthropological definition of “human” (bipedal, opposable thumbs, ability to communicate complex thought), then he is by all means “human.” He’s just… A Human Platypus. …?

[rainrebel-moved04012021]

What the fuck became of my post

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

[romansleftshoulderpad]

Also Doof is legally an Ocelot

[nb-nightwing-deactivated2022111]

Logan that only raises more questions on an already strange post

[romansleftshoulderpad]

It’s canon. In the OWCA Files. Him legally being an ocelot is what allows him to be an agent.

[hoardofhyperfixations]

What the FUCK

[i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing-de]

Yeah, in one part of his long, tragic backstory, he was abandon and raised by ocelots

[ironwoman359]

I was wondering when someone was gonna bring up the ocelot thing

[vivaciousarcanist]

[sepialunaris]

@looney-mooney I agree with this vit there’s one thing, even if Perry has amazing deductive reasoning he has to at least fall to one trap. That’s just the law of nature.

[looney-mooney]

@oceanic-panic-panic bold of you to assume that Perry doesn’t let himself get trapped on purpose at least 2/3 of the time. Perry always escapes the traps. And he always waits for Doofenshmirtz to finish monologuing before escaping from them. It’s part of their routine, something they both expect: Perry bursts in, gets trapped, patiently listens to doof’s rant of the day, escapes the trap, fights his nemesis, and blows up the Inator. Whenever this routine is broken, they work to maintain it anyway - I can think of at least like 3 instances where Perry purposefully, politely traps himself, and several more where Doofenshmirtz gets impatient and sets Perry free from the trap himself so they can fight.

Perry getting trapped isn’t a sign of some intellectual folley - it’s a sign of his incredible problem-solving skills that he can escape them so easily, and a sign of his social intelligence that he knows to politely wait until his nemesis is ready to stop venting and start fighting.

But why does Perry need to be trapped for his nemesis to vent? Easy. Doofenshmirtz is a victim of severe child abuse, and needs to feel as though he’s somewhat in control of the situation before allowing himself to be vulnerable. Perry being trapped makes him feel safe, and Perry catches on to this. It’s an intricate social dance that none of his coworkers have mastered, the ability to communicate with and accomidate for a villain with special needs. And though it takes the whole summer, they eventually don’t even need the traps, because Perry makes Heinz feel safe.

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

[squidpix6]

I mean, back on the Peter the Panda line, being a nemesis was always supposed to be analogous to being in a relationship anyway. I think of this way more as an “arranged relationship turns to true love” story than an “enemies to lovers” one.

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

‘’You probably look at Perry the Platypus and me and think it’s a match made in heaven. But it wasn’t always this way. Back in the day, O.W.C.A. assigned agents willy-nilly, with no regard for personality conflicts or basic compatibility issues … like a bad blind date!

Why, when I first met Perry the Platypus, I didn’t even know what kind of an animal he was. Who’s ever heard of a teal platypus?! And I gotta tell you, he got on my last nerve … always staring at me, judging me. You know how he is.

Well, I was ready to call it quits. I even called Major Monogram to see if I could get another nemesis assigned. Something a little less semiaquatic. But thank goodness, Francis said to give it a little more time to see if things could work themselves out. And you know what? They did!

Now I wouldn’t trade my nemesis for anyone in the world. Oh, sure, he still infuriates me and I try to eliminate him on a daily basis, but that’s just what I do.

So, if your first encounter with your mortal foe isn’t perfect, don’t despair! It gets better … usually.’’

I’d say both are correct

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

Me knowing almost nothing about Phineas and Ferb but reading this entire post anyway 

[irredeemable-stew-deactivated20]

man i fucking love this long ass post about why doofenshmirtz should be able to date perry the platypus.

[kingsketchdoodle]

I forgot the theme of this post so many times until it was brought back up 😅

[overateddumbass]

Me at the beginning of this: No. Humans cannot date animals.

Me after reading this:

[pisshandkerchief-deactivated202]

Always REBLOG the legendary DoofenPerry meta

[x-ladydisdain-x]

@bobafanpage I thought this might interest you

I’m so sorry

[noctumsolis]

I can’t believe this post is only from 2019 0¿0

[mystericmoon]

[mediheal]

Reblog with your type

[whisperingrockers]

there are three wolves. they are all gay

[someoneidontknow]

Jorge Gonzalez, suffered a broken neck, and a compressed spine at the hands of 3 sheriff deputies in Texas. He couldn’t even hold his head up for this mugshot…so they had to hold it up for him. They actually thought the mugshot was more important than a hospital visit.

After a deputy tripped him he hit his face hard and went unconscious. They tased him couple of times “to wake him up”.

He was left paralyzed neck down, went through a series of surgeries, and was in ICU on the ventilator for over a month after the arrest.

According to the hospital he went over 26 hours in Hidalgo County jail without necessary medical attention that could have saved his life.

[h-r-m-deactivated20180919]

[albotas]

[mortallyposting-deactivated2018]

The Most Gorgeous Book Ever Has No Words Or Pictures, Just Color

This is the RGB Colorspace Atlas by Tauba Auerbach. The 8”x8” hardcover tome is pretty much an encyclopedia of every color in the RGB index. It’s huge, it’s gorgeous, and I want one.

I KNOW WHAT THIS NEEDS

It’s like they were made for each other.

Sensors alight, the pen trailed itself sensually down the gradient shift from yellow to blue along ample curve of paper, dipping closer and closer to the book’s spine.

“Can you imagine it?” the pen whispered, whirring and selecting #00563F with practiced intimacy. “Just picture it. With your collection and my potential…we can color the world.”

A pen and a book  A notepad and a clock CAN I REQUEST A DOUBLE DATE??

[axylhart]

request accomplished -

[japhers]

SMACKDOWN TIME

[johnny-joestr]

How the fuck did it end up like this

[shiblep]

*whispers* make an anime

[lazulillies-deactivated20210401]

*whispers* I have a need for this to happen

[axylhart]

Sorry, I cannot resist.

[mortallyposting-deactivated2018]

I AM SO HAPPY THAT I STARTED THIS BECAUSE WOW THIS ENDING IM FANGIRLING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE FAMILY AND IDK IM HAPPY OK 

[haydenwings]

WELP! NOW I NEED TO COSPLAY BOOK!

[heritageposts]

date of origin: 4th if september, 2012.

[phannie]

happy 10 years of dan and phil

[thiscatisonfire]

[futuremoji]

Your fifth most recent emoji is what your soulmate thinks about you

[captainhoyw]

[solsburryhill]

i regret to inform you all that i have a made another quiz. which hannibal character are you?

[just-shower-thoughts]

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

[savvygunner]

[violetnpurple]

LISTEN-

[bl6ckwoman]

Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …

[antiandrogen]

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

father god 

[abrown16]

…if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

[antiandrogen]

[ethereal-sketches]

-_-’

(15+15=30

25+25=30)

[britteryikes]

25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

[laurdlannister-kingslayer]

Lord have mercy….

[kumasenpai]

Bye

[mf-johnson-deactivated20190605]

3 days into 2018 smh

[kwantsu]

LMAOOOOOOO

[effigyofubiquity-deactivated202]

[lizzysarai-deactivated20190109]

One

Three

Five

Nine

And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.

[britteryikes]

🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

[thxrsdxy]

It keeps getting worse.

[e-wifey-deactivated20201128]

LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON

[ellsworthej]

[goldensweetcheeks-deactivated20]

My head hurts…

[skullprincess]

This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this

[drankinwatahmelin]

who failed yall?

[microtear-deactivated20181213]

IM SCREAMING

[lukestarkillerisgay]

[hey-hey-shutthefuckup-deactivat]

You whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and is pretty fucking even

[shaolinbynature]

why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck

[emma-d-klutz]

3 days until 2019 and we’re still here

[legowerewolf]

happy New year’s eve

[prguitarman]

I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was

[majitowfoxlover]

Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…

[hurleyquinnzel]

did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? i’m fucking crying throw the whole website away

[untitled42717]

Reblogging for the last one😂

[kitsumekat]

The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t.

[alternative-memo-deactivated202]

TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING

[binkeljuice]

Wait what about zero that’s an odd number ,no?

[hurleyquinnzel]

[mysticalpoodle]

ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E

[im-an-aesthetic-mess]

bro why do 30 and 50 matter THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN

[fish-food-s]

what the actual fuck is happening

[dickplinko]

1 is an even number

[link-the-feral-anon]

I’m gonna smack you

[insert-gay-pun-queer]

-30 and -50 have an e in them

[kurlyfryz]

Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea

[anachronistic-cat]

Zero isn’t a number

[kurlyfryz]

It can’t be divided by two though, can it

[toaster-120]

It can??? 0/2=0??

[kurlyfryz]

[baconaxolotl101]

OD NUMBERS

onE

thrEE

fivE

sEvEn

ninE

[batsdotjpg]

OD numbers huh?

[mxsicc]

God fuckn shit this is a mess

[prof-grace-aspen]

Zero is actually kind of a weird number, since by itself, it’s… not a number. It’s the absence of a number, it’s nothing. But because it counts as an integer, and because dividing it by 2 also results in an integer (0 again), technically zero is even.

[lubricates]

Oh god I love tumblr HAHAHAHA

[krxs100]

Milwaukee Police Have Been Caught Sex Trafficking Children By Neighborhood And Nobodies Talking About it

HERES WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:

Originally 2 girls went missing in the neighborhood and after many attempts at trying to get police to help, which they refused to do, the community took it upon themselves which is how they landed on the sex trafficking house

“Before we came out here, there were nine kids missing, after we came out here four kids were returned,” said community organizer Frank Nitty, narrating a live video on Facebook from the scene around 7:00 p.m. But the number of kids returned might only be two, as Morales later reported one of the teenage girls wasn’t found and Nitty said another child ran away. 

This was all Live Streamed on Facebook

multiple fires being set by unidentified individuals (most likely to get rid of evidence) and gas and non-lethal force being used by the police department. 

Demetrius, the steamer who filmed the cops sneaking children out the back of the house is targeted by police for reprisals. They just pulling him over and are arresting him for nebulous reasons and are impounding his car.  An angry crowd is gathering.

Cops tear gassed and shot at crowed with rubber bullets 

People who went inside the cops’ child kidnapping/rape house say they found a room with a bed and floor covered in blood 

As for the house?  Well the house not only burned Tuesday night but also has a lengthy history of visits from the Milwaukee Police Department. According to its dispatch log, officers have visited the home at least 27 times in the past four years. The house was burned last night by a crowd after members of the group charged that criminals were using the home and others nearby for sex trafficking.

Cops parked their van near the house and quickly rescued the SEX TRAFFICKERS by putting tarps over their faces to hide their identities and get them safely away from angry crowed. 

WATCH LIVE STREAM HERE  or HERE

Source  / Source /  Source / More Video

#WAKEUP

[lagonegirl]

This is art. A masterpiece, actually.

[lavraog]

A true American hero

[deezhandztho]

Iconic

[airfierce-deactivated20201208]

They killed him. His name was Muhiyidin Moye.

[noccor]

Hero killed by cowards

[gardencorekid]

Black person killed by racists and fascists for standing in the face of racism and fascism.

[jordyjinx]

why is this actually one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen .

[wereralph]

this 7 second video has no business being this funny

[robotcrybaby]

Me, on my phone watching youtube: I am enjoying this video but need more stimulus so I should go on my phone and play a game while I watch

Me, realizing I am already using my phone and cannot multi-task on the same device: god has abandoned me and I’m trapped in my own hell brain