āSince the Shedd Aquarium is empty, the trainers took the penguins for a tour.ā
(via)
DEAR READER
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we're not kids anymore.
One Nice Bug Per Day
I'd rather be in outer space šø
ojovivo
noise dept.
YOU ARE THE REASON

@theartofmadeline

izzy's playlists!

shark vs the universe

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trying on a metaphor

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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Andulka
RMH

romaā

Janaina Medeiros

seen from Malaysia
seen from Venezuela

seen from South Africa
seen from United States

seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from United States
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@figgie
āSince the Shedd Aquarium is empty, the trainers took the penguins for a tour.ā
(via)
this is entrapment
two equally delightful paths here:
1) a very simple and genuine āi like your shoelacesā, which tells me that you are either a lesbian or a very cool ally
2) āi like your shoelacesā followed by the pronounced grimace of one recalling their past sins, which tells me that you were a 2012 tumblr user. i now hold the power in this conversation and you are at my mercy.
if you know about 2012 tumblr how do you hold any power in any conversation
well, stucky fanfic url, the trick is to not let them know that you are also cringe
this is the most poignant burn ive seen all year
everyone lost
#tumblr is an ecosystem you kill one trophic level and everyone starts dying
(via @binguscore)
losers gonna pick on losers forever ^-^
Tumblr has the best PvP of any social media
Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?
Are you insinuating that regular pine needles arenāt spicy???
Regular pine needles are regular
Not by rosemary standards
ā¦Have you eaten pine needles?
Weāve been friends for like four years, do you seriously have to ask if Iāve eaten pine needles or not
I mean Iām pretty sure you have but I donāt want to assume
Of course Iāve eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best
Are theyā¦
spicy?
You know, Iād love to tell you but Iām pretty unclear about what marks the difference between āspiceā and āstrong-tasting plant that isnāt considered a spiceā
Iāll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out
Ok but it only counts if theyāre PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree
Iām going to eat every needle-like leaf I see
Please Donāt Do That
Needle-Like Leaf Roulette
ā¦Iāll accept this plan as long as you promise not to eat any yew leaves.
I can try very hard not to
Pine needles are distinguished by the presence of a sheath-like structure at the base of the leaf, almost always holding bundles of two or more leaves. Yews donāt have the sheath thing
Itās time for me to go out into the woods and stare at needle leaves
Finally you can gain real insight into my average daily life
this conversation reads like two shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief and then are never heard from again
god fucking dammit gimme a minute
Enter AERUH and MALUS SYL-VESTRIS, a pair of JESTERS.
AERUH I tell thee, rosemary is like a pine but with a spicy taste.
MALUS Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Art thou to claim that needles base of pine have not a spice?
AERUH A needle base of pine is merely base.
MALUS āTis not when held, comparing, to anthos.
AERUH My dearest Malus, needles thou'st eaten?
MALUS How many moons have we as friends seen rise? How many suns have we as friends seen set? Thou sixteen seasons in my heart Iāve held, and hope that I in thine hast been the same. With brotherhood as rich and old as this, thou needst not ask me such frivolities.
AERUH I know thou likely has, to tell the truth, but I would not assume.
MALUS Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Well, yes, I have. A multitude of types Iāve eaten too. Iāll tell thee now: the best (though it is strange) is single-leaf pinyon.
AERUH Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā And it has spice?
MALUS I truly wish that I could tell thee this, but now, i'faith, I cannot fully tell, the difference in classifying thus: to say āhas spiceā or merely āherbal strengthā.
AERUH To tell this tale most clearly it would seem that eating needles from a pineās required.
MALUS Aye, it would seem that thatās the task at hand, but caution tells that this is whatās to do: eat only needles of the honest pine, and none of lying leaf with pinelike shape.
AERUH Iāll eat them all.
MALUS Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I prithee, stay thyself.
AERUH Roulette with leaves.
MALUS Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā At least restrain from yew.
AERUH Iāll do my best.
MALUS Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā That is all can we do. The scholars tell that needles true of pine can be distinguished from the lying yew by sheathlike clothing all along the base; the yew has no such guard.
AERUH Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā With this new truth I now will venture out into the wood and seek the pines and pinelike fakes alike to stare them down and learn their secret truths.
MALUS With this thou canst at long and weary last Discover for thyself my lifeās own path.
Exeunt.
Enter MACDUFF.
MACDUFF. Yo dudes that king thereās dead. Like dead as FUCK.
Hey what the fuck this entire thing scans
Holy Shit
"mens section"... more like where the hot women shop
"womens section"... more like where the hot men shop
"soup section"... more like where's the clothes
Itās coming.
soon
NINE DAYS FOR THE TRIAL
one week until the second coming
OH FUCK ITS COMING
Guys the day is coming I canāt handle this
byĀ ć¢ć
Hi i'm not dead, i'm just obssessed with this new game so i made some bunny of the boys~
holy shit SLAIN
@doomybot can you past the Turing test?
cuck
I FOUND IT GUYS I SPENT HALF AN HOUR LOOKING FOR THIS VIDEO AND ITS HERE
Always reblog peent.
*before clicking play*: IS THIS WHAT i THINK IT IS???
*clicks play*: IT ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
omg!! omg
Forever reblog.
Heaven let your eent shine down.
@seekersqueaker
Because timberdoodle, bogsucker, hokumpoke, and Labrador twister werenāt āchunkyā enough I guess
@seekersqueaker
Woodcock birb
Also because Forestdildo was trademarked at the time.
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
Some more "hmmmm"s from this Twitter because WHAT THE FUCK??
all these tweets feel like they're auto-generated who the fuck thinks like this
Are the cishets ok?
Absolutely not
is no one gonna mention the 2 casual foot fetish hints this guy is dropping
Just saw this on twitter
narcissus at the pond
WAIT THE REFLECTION LOOKED BACK AT THE END
the what
colllection
This thing looks like a gaming mouse
just got the new ford egg
This car got stung by a bee and all you freaks can do is laugh?
why does wine taste like shit?
i am going to run through the woods naked
this is one of those things that are much funnier in my head xD hshaha,,
-reference under the cut-
Keep reading
Me as a college professor
This is literally illegal, and there have been teachers fired over this
Awwwwwššš
"Then how do you say aisle?" ššš¤£
this cracked me up and their reactions to each other and then at the end they both are just laughing so hard oh my gods i love videos like this (there was a similar one with a bunch of dudes who all had a super duper strong boston accent trying to say a sentence likeĀ āaaron earned the iron urnā or something like that and all of the words sounded the same so they tried to say it so that all the words were distinct)
Ohhh the āArron earned an iron urnā one that was awesome
I NEED THAT ONE
https://www.google.com/amp/s/sebesun.tumblr.com/post/190454805440/catchymemes-aaron-earned-an-iron-urn/amp
@midnight-spectrum-again gotchu
catchymemes: Aaron Earned An Iron Urn ...
Those beautiful smiles need to leave my heart alone š©