“you are a lawyer and he is a hamster” is one of the funniest statements ive ever had the pleasure of reading
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@figure-eight-system
“you are a lawyer and he is a hamster” is one of the funniest statements ive ever had the pleasure of reading
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the funniest part of death note was when light thought, "The police are spying on me through cameras in my room. I need them to think I'm a normal high school boy." and then he proceeded to read a porn magazine for 5 minutes without cranking his chain. all while laying on his bed like this
Choose one picture from ur camera roll without downloading to sum up your personality and then tag 5 ppl
tagged by @shy–cum
@papsmearrrr @asongthatsingsitself @brutus-red-xiii @m4rris @wolf-biter @esquizoanalise @galacticgothsquid @iamjohanna @shad-bhaddie ok that’s more than 5, whatever
Tagged by @logically-blue
@mellowscoffee @idontcareaboutcanon @thecomicaloverlord @bulbud
This screenie I took sums me up pretty well
@paradoxaloccurance @netheritenugget @imnotentirelycertain @lily-of-the-i-think-not @wisp-exe @cherrywolf @catmaid-badboyhalo
I am this bird.
I don’t like tagging ppl because I don’t want to put them on the spot, so if we’re mutuals then feel free to participate!
@bupine @feyscape @mysso
>:3c (not my art i just like it)
@conscious-naivete @loudly–unladylike @dogin8 @crossed-charms any o my tubbo hq pals or anyone really. go wild
I simply love this reaction image
@appleflavoredkitkats @embermc @cube-cumb3r @miss-match01 @conscious-naivete I don’t expect yall to do anything btw, this is just a tag for some ppl I don’t really know but I appreciate a lot
im a sarcastic girlboss but also im very secretly empathetic and this is the only pic i can find if i didnt just wanna add a pic of all the nerds ive kinned from every other piece of media
@ranboocore @prismartist @quaranmine @villlainarc @minecraft-cow
gnf with a knife. those are the vibes.
@1-michibiki-1 @minecraft-bed @acanvasofabillionsuns
Bisexual lighting lizard <3
@ranboocore @prismartist @chrysalizzm @bootsforthebootgod
please help. @tea-with-veth @lumberjack-halt @firefly464 @coffit0 @calwasfound @fallingappleshurt
Pog my way through life
@anyone who wants to join :]<3
… anyways-
@theeldritchbeesechurger @lennylovebot @silv3r-princ3 @generic-internet-name @ anyone who wants to!!
worm arson
@i dont have enough braincells to tag so anyone who wants to
If there’s anything in my camera roll that sums me up more it’s this. Cheesy pun? Check. Weird ass costume? Yup. Kinda depressing? You bet'cha.
@anyone who wants to-
Yeah no this pretty much does it lol
@wacheypena @acelikesturtles @kokokatsworld @brightlotusmoon @aurora-the-kunoichi @verothexeno
@angelcatlowyn @chaoticgoodness-gracious @widdledragon @tmntspidergirl @turtle-babe83
@bi-panic-at-the-disco @wazzuppy @lemon-flavoured-sandwiches
@huskytails @b1uejey @gyakuten-kenji
Thank you for tagging me. ^^
I tag: @pink-aquaqualle @angel-biter @blueberrycheetah @astickofbutter @yugi–amane
I have too many Spongebob time cards
Thanks for tagging me Jey!!
I tag: @pepperimps01 @nostalgiaruinedme @savmartz @rhythmsmith and @saihahas and whoever wants to join in ^^
(Yes this is my cat)
I’m tagging @rindomness and @junipermoon
“Smile and wave yall
Jus smile and wave 😀”
@astra-rae @screechingchaospizza @figure-eight-system @itzpicklebitchh @notatireddodo
Choose one picture from ur camera roll without downloading to sum up your personality and then tag 5 ppl
tagged by @shy–cum
@papsmearrrr @asongthatsingsitself @brutus-red-xiii @m4rris @wolf-biter @esquizoanalise @galacticgothsquid @iamjohanna @shad-bhaddie ok that’s more than 5, whatever
Tagged by @logically-blue
@mellowscoffee @idontcareaboutcanon @thecomicaloverlord @bulbud
This screenie I took sums me up pretty well
@paradoxaloccurance @netheritenugget @imnotentirelycertain @lily-of-the-i-think-not @wisp-exe @cherrywolf @catmaid-badboyhalo
I am this bird.
I don’t like tagging ppl because I don’t want to put them on the spot, so if we’re mutuals then feel free to participate!
@bupine @feyscape @mysso
>:3c (not my art i just like it)
@conscious-naivete @loudly–unladylike @dogin8 @crossed-charms any o my tubbo hq pals or anyone really. go wild
I simply love this reaction image
@appleflavoredkitkats @embermc @cube-cumb3r @miss-match01 @conscious-naivete I don’t expect yall to do anything btw, this is just a tag for some ppl I don’t really know but I appreciate a lot
im a sarcastic girlboss but also im very secretly empathetic and this is the only pic i can find if i didnt just wanna add a pic of all the nerds ive kinned from every other piece of media
@ranboocore @prismartist @quaranmine @villlainarc @minecraft-cow
gnf with a knife. those are the vibes.
@1-michibiki-1 @minecraft-bed @acanvasofabillionsuns
Bisexual lighting lizard <3
@ranboocore @prismartist @chrysalizzm @bootsforthebootgod
please help. @tea-with-veth @lumberjack-halt @firefly464 @coffit0 @calwasfound @fallingappleshurt
Pog my way through life
@anyone who wants to join :]<3
… anyways-
@theeldritchbeesechurger @lennylovebot @silv3r-princ3 @generic-internet-name @ anyone who wants to!!
worm arson
@i dont have enough braincells to tag so anyone who wants to
If there’s anything in my camera roll that sums me up more it’s this. Cheesy pun? Check. Weird ass costume? Yup. Kinda depressing? You bet'cha.
@anyone who wants to-
Yeah no this pretty much does it lol
@wacheypena @acelikesturtles @kokokatsworld @brightlotusmoon @aurora-the-kunoichi @verothexeno
@angelcatlowyn @chaoticgoodness-gracious @widdledragon @tmntspidergirl @turtle-babe83
@bi-panic-at-the-disco @wazzuppy @lemon-flavoured-sandwiches
@huskytails @b1uejey @gyakuten-kenji
Thank you for tagging me. ^^
I tag: @pink-aquaqualle @angel-biter @blueberrycheetah @astickofbutter @yugi–amane
I have too many Spongebob time cards
Thanks for tagging me Jey!!
I tag: @pepperimps01 @nostalgiaruinedme @savmartz @rhythmsmith and @saihahas and whoever wants to join in ^^
(Yes this is my cat)
I’m tagging @rindomness and @junipermoon
“Smile and wave yall
Jus smile and wave 😀”
@astra-rae @screechingchaospizza @figure-eight-system @itzpicklebitchh @notatireddodo
You heard it here, having self-confidence and self-love is satanic!!
Losing my mind remembering that pic chelsea manning posted of the extremely undercover and not at all obvious fbi agent who was tailing her after her release
what kind of sixth sense do american have to recognize fbi agents that easily
to paraphrase her, its always the shoes.
americans please explain to a foreigner, he looks like some random dude to me
1. They all have the same haircut, almost everybody in law enforcement and the military have the same haircut due to regulations.
2. They all wear the same shoes. Same boots, and same overpolished dress shoes.
3. They act different. Shifty eyed and always on their own.
4. They’re kinda really bad at their jobs. I’ve encountered plenty of “undercover” cops outside of bars that ask questions no regular person in their right mind would ever ask. “How are you getting home?” “Who did you come here with tonight?”
5. America is a police state on a budget. Most officers are poorly trained, fbi agents require a 4 year degree (I think), but lord knows how much training they actually get. And the dumb kids from your high school always become cops.
It’s always the dense as a brick kid, with something to prove that becomes a cop. The kid that mouth-breathed and couldn’t chew gum and walk at the same time.
Their shirts are never form fitting so they can conceal a weapon and cuffs.
Always look at the watch, it’ll be expensive but in neutral tones (uniform standards strike again).
They will always sit where they can see their target and the nearest exit.
They will have a partner who is less obvious but wil point a recording device (phone or camera) at you. Check elevated positions, it gives them the clearest view to track you and keep an eye on their partner at the same time.
One time when i lived in phoenix, I was driving home through residential streets from Panda Express on April 20th and there was a 40something year old white man standing quite literally in the MIDDLE of the fucking road wearing a brand new straight from the store weed jersey (jersey #420 with a big pot leaf), a wornout old raiders hat, regular-fit straight leg jeans, and cop shoes. This man proceeded to try to wave me down to stop since I was driving slowly (again, residential neighborhood) and as he did so fully yelled “You buying bro? You buying? 420 bro 420 you buying?”
I almost choked laughing so hard. I couldn’t stop myself from just yelling “NO THANK YOU OFFICER” as i drove by him.
for the past 60 years law enforcement, military, and even literal espionage/intelligence based organizations have assumed that rigid conformity to dress code was more important then actually training how to go undercover, blend in, or understand what the fuck theyre doing largely because the ‘we are infallible’ mindset is too strong for them to consider they might not be doing very good
shoutout to the two “undercover cops” who were at my school to monitor the student body for a week, acting like “substitute assistants” and literally all of the kids immediately recognised them as cops and everyone would address them only as “officer” which annoyed the hell out of them because “we aren’t cops” like sir you literally have your badge in your back pocket and a taser what fucking substitute assistant would have an actual police badge and a whole ass taser??
Just a casual reminder that this is what secret police are. Like, this is the literal definition. Police who are (badly or otherwise) pretending to not be police.
i know this has eight billion notes already but i love sharing these images
This thread reminds me of this story lol
From Tom Wolfe’s Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test:
I’m gonna go ahead and put a caveat here because undercover cops are easy to spot, but they recruit too. informants are harder to pin down and they are infinitely more effective. Red Fawn Fallis very likely had a gun planted on her at Standing Rock by her partner of a couple years who was an FBI informant. Fred Hampton was drugged and killed by COINTELPRO thanks to an informant in the Black Panthers. the US federal government, like any effective system, has lots of redundancy built in. yes, undercovers are easy to clock and avoid, but they are also essentially a lure to collect more valuable players. all it takes is busting the one person vulnerable enough to take a deal instead of prison time. feel free to ridicule, just don’t underestimate their potential to do damage if you find yourself near one.
the world was severely lacking weird little girl memes so i had to fill the void
more like
the walking dead, game of thrones, and breaking bad were just superwholock for men
Game of Walking Bad
why the fuck is this so funny
These boots were made for walking
girl what
Look guys, it's not that hard.
Tumblr???
wHaT tHe fUcK?
Tumblr you need to,
hey do you have a tumblr
no sorry
Reblog if you don’t have a tumblr
Sorry y’all :(
I have a water bottle
😔 no tumblr here
I drink outta a water bottle cap so no sorry
(via)
Beginner Satanists: What do you do?
Given the rise of Satanism, both theistic and atheistic, there comes a question: Where do I start? This question brings several others with it such as what to do, what to believe, and who to listen to. I'm here to help with that!
I've been a Satanist the past decade, before the current rise of it, before TST was created, and back when there was still arguments about which kind of Satanism is the right kind.
"There's more than one kind of Satanism?" Yes! Despite what groups such as the Church of Satan or The Satanic Temple might have you believe, atheistic Satanism is not the only kind of Satanism. Luciferianism dates back to the mid-1800s, and theistic Satanism dates back to around the same time or even further back (not including so-called "devil-worshippers" that were hunted down as an attempt from Christian leaders to put out other faiths). That being said, take the time to figure out which path is right for you!
Tips for beginner Satanists:
Research! Research is going to be your best friend. I cannot stress enough how much research is to becoming a Satanist. I would suggest avoiding sites affiliated to Joy of Satan or materials from Anton Lavey because surprise! They're fascist. Despite being credited as the creator of Satanism, Lavey's work takes a very authoritarian point of view and he was incredibly antisemitic (as well as openly admitting to being attracted to nazism) and misogynistic. There have been first person accounts of klan and nazis being present at rituals he hosted.
Find your tools. Do you want to set up an altar? Have a collection of books? Do you want to practice magic? There are many places to find or buy the things that you need, but you can also make many of them! You can find red candles almost anywhere, incense is common to find nowadays, and searching online can find you several books.
Find your community. Reach out to people who are a part of the same system you are, whether you're theistic, atheistic, a Luciferian, etc! It can take time, but eventually you'll find people that you can work with and be close to.
Find your path. Personally, I think this should be the last step. Get everything else figured out before you actually sit down and put a label to your practice. Don't shoehorn yourself into a specific path beforehand without putting in the work to really discover yourself. It can take people years to find out what their path really is and if you spend all of that time worrying about it, then you're putting yourself off from truly enjoying what you do and feeling fulfilled by it.
Don't be afraid to reach out to people! There are people here that are willing to help newcomers with questions or to be friends, so don't be shy!
Crows are scary They
use tools
Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
Have huge brains for birds
like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
they are scary smart at solving puzzles
some crows stay with their mates until one of them dies
they can remember faces
SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT. They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows. Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag. But the nice guys with masks they left alone. THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight. THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.
Guys I’m really scared of crows now. (q)
Yeah but have you seen this
A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free.
Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill
I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree.
Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before.
That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him.
Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree.
That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick.
Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring.
that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful.
Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice.
this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad.
i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance.
a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth.
i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son.
Best birbs !!
Reblog if it's okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.
Can I tie your shoes? I don’t want you falling for anybody else—
60%
Hehe, adorable and kinda possessive. I like it.