I Don't Even Know

Some bullshit. 20 Tf side blog: @bomboobi

[argillaforma]

hollanov at their kid’s autism assesment and the doctor says that autism can be genetic and asks if anyone in the family has autism and shane says no at the same time as ilya says yes

[gimmiekiss1221]

ilya when shane answers no:

[carnationhes]

#myThey

[ohcebo]

alternate metros jersey shane 🙂‍↕️

[lavenderprose]

Ilya is so lucky that Shane proposed. Ilya would have been a nervous fucking wreck for the entire day beforehand. Wake up in the morning. Look in the mirror. Today's the day. Sob. Breathe. Okay I'm good! Turn around and Shane's hair is all in his face, still asleep on Ilya's pillow. I am NOT good. Cold shower. Breakfast that Ilya does not eat. Morning jog wherein Ilya runs like someone is chasing him. Lunch that Ilya does not eat. Drive out to the cottage. Make Shane pull over because Ilya needs to dry heave on the side of the road. "Baby we don't have to drive out today if you're not feeling well." "NO WE HAVE TO." Get to the cottage. Immediately send Shane on some kind of extended fool's errand. Shane wants to stay because Ilya is SHAKING and he is so worried. "No my love I'm fine it's just the breeze off the lake haha." It's thirty fuckig degrees Celsius. Shane finally gtfo's. Yuna, David, Rose FUCKING Landry all descend to help Ilya set up. Well. Ilya is supposed to be helping but he is standing on the deck fully dissociating. Yuna brings him tea. "Are you going to throw up the tea?" "Yes probably." Yuna takes away the tea. 800 electronic tea lights on the deck. In a parallel Ilya has no way of understanding, he both puts on and takes off a suit. Yuna fixes his curls into the hockey boy quasi-mullet that magnetizes Shane's fingers to Ilya's hair and says, "Oh, you're so handsome!" Ilya cries big fat tears. David tells a story about how his proposal to Yuna almost didn't happen because David went to the hospital for heart palpitations that morning. Thank You David That Does Not Help Even Remotely. Ilya slav squats on the lawn for twenty minutes. Shane's car pulls up in the driveway and everyone hides while Ilya vibrates in the entryway. Shane has no less than thirty grocery bags hanging from his arms, still complaining about why the grocery service cancelled their delivery last minute. Ilya leads Shane and all thirty of his grocery bags onto the deck. Shane is doing his favorite thing (bitching) and his second favorite thing (Follow Ilya) so he doesn't notice his own mother tiptoing behind him collecting the grocery bags he drops like breadcrumbs. There is an Oscar-winning actress hiding under his sofa and Shane does not notice because Ilya takes him on the deck and drops to his knees and Shane is like, "Haha, right now?" and then he sees that Ilya has a look on his face like he's just been told the sun is never coming up again and he has his hands on Shane's knees and he is saying, "Shane. Please?" and Shane puts his hands on his head and says "Oh my God baby what's happening to you" as Ilya melts and melts and then from the depths of the cottage someone who sounds a lot like Shane's very own father is whispering "The ring the ring" and when he looks back down Ilya is fumbling a ring box out of his pocket. The first picture of their proposal is Shane glaring into the middle distance with a hand cradling Ilya's curls like a baby while Ilya ugly sobs into his knee.

[theragamuffininitiative]

Alright I want to know something here:

the 🙃 emoji means (approximately)

silly!*

ugh!*

secret third thing you will explain in tags*

Voting ended onJul 10

*if comfortable doing so, you may include your age range/generation in the tags for helpful demographic data

kindly reblog for bigger sample size, thanks!

[purronronner]

[penandinkprincess]

listen i'm not advocating for exotic animals as pets, but i really just feel like cheetahs are probably different

i feel like we need to give them another shot as housebeasts

[penandinkprincess]

this is a critter who wants greenies and then to take a nap on the couch next to me, and i KNOW it

[penandinkprincess]

cheetah in House perfec t size for put inside! inside very Soft and Comfort cheetah sleep soundly put cheetah in House. Put Cheetah In House. no problems ever in cheetah in ho use because good Happy and Satisfy for human where sleep. House yes a place for a cheetah put cheetah in house can trust cheetah for giveing good love to humans in house. friend cheetah

[justasmidgx]

I mean, as someone who as worked in a zoo, this is fairly true.

Obvious disclaimer that you shouldn't have wild animals as pets.

But like, cheetahs are the only large cats that keepers will do free contact with. Hell, even most small cats don't get free contact. (Because small cats can be VICIOUS. They'll have a baby pallas cat wearing thicker gloves than when handling an owl. Because small cats can just be vicious.)

Like I think the only other cat at our zoo where I've seen free contact with was servals? Because I know they've used servals in shows to demonstrate their natural jumping ability. But I know servals can sometimes have a mean temper as well. Meanwhile they'll do the cheetah run and afterwards put the mic by the cheetahs and it's just like an engine with them purring. It's fascinating to watch when the message in every other large animal is "no free contact because it's dangerous even when they're born in captivity".

Legit if any wild animal could be adapted to a pet it would be cheetahs lmao. Only problem is they can be skittish and very anxious and that's why they're often raised around dogs in zoos to gain confidence.

[penandinkprincess]

congrats, i award you funniest take on this post

[penny-anna]

anyway sound off. at what stage do ppl think Han figured out the Force was real. the boring answer is after seeing Obi-wan vanish but i think he could rationalise that away as his eyes playing tricks on him. what do we think.

[my-last-brain-cell-is-socrates]

Let me demonstrate my answer for you:

That's it. That's my answer. Endor.

Please just take a look at Han's face right after witnessing 3po float. The man just had his entire worldview blown to smithereens.

[whetstonefires]

that's so funny. that means he accepted Vader deflecting a blaster bolt with his hand as just something freaky government cyborgs can do, and stuck by Luke for multiple years as he tried to figure this Force stuff out, and just treated it like your friend getting really really into neopaganism to cope with a loss.

like yeah kid good job with the witching. i'm certain it will be more useful against your enemies than your sharpshooting. no i do not think your witchcraft is supplementing your aim but i'm not gonna argue about it.

[penny-anna]

yeah Luke was like 'I heard Ben Kenobi's voice in my head telling me how to blow up the Death Star :)' and Han was like 'kind of an unusual coping mechanism but I'm not gonna argue with him'

[davetheshady]

thanks to carbonite han not only misses learning about luke's training montage on dagobah, he's also half-blind during their whole escape on tatooine. luke's out there force-kicking henchmen with his gucci boots and doing flips and shit and han can't see a goddamn thing. now on endor luke's yeeting threepio with the power of his mind and han's just like 'the last time we hung out i had to stuff him in a tauntaun sleeping bag'.

[bogwitch-extraordinaire]

@softness-and-shattering I hate you I hate you I hate you

[witnessings]

happy last day of pride to the gay snails who hug and kiss for hours without mating

[brick3621]

[shittysawtraps]

can i be a big hater about something unrelated for a second

[shittysawtraps]

ok awesome

so i have finished a psychological thriller novel, and have begun the process of doing research so i can prepare to query agents. now, my novel has some pretty intense triggers in it, so i am aware it’s a bit of a hard sell– that being said, many agents have a “do not send me your novel if it has these things” list, so that’s what I’m looking for so i don’t accidentally trigger someone.

so i’m going down this list, and i find this agent. their “do not send me” list includes the following: non-consent/sexual violence, age gaps, teacher/student relationships, stalkers, cheating, everyone dies at the end, miscarriage/pregnancy, and abuse masked as love.

okay, cool! everyone has different tolerances for stuff, and it’s perfectly reasonable to not want to be involved with a story that has stuff you’re uncomfortable with. not the agent for me, but good on them for defining their boundaries.

but then i scroll back up and they’re requesting for gothic horror.

excuse me?????????

gothic horror without pregnancy or miscarriage? gothic horror without cheating? without stalking? gothic horror without major character deaths? GOTHIC HORROR WITHOUT ABUSE BEING FRAMED AS LOVE AND THE INTERROGATION OF THAT DYNAMIC?????

HEY CAN I GET A GOTHIC HORROR WITH NOTHING???

THAT’S JUST A STORY ABOUT A BIG HOUSE

[adastrabbit]

[etheireimagined]

thank u twitter for this idea

[detectivehole]

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

[detectivehole]

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

[qqueenofhades]

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

[flavinbagel]

In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:

[theterriblethingabouttulio]

holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit

[kat-witha-k]

This is fucking insane

[brightlotusmoon]

[mod2amaryllis]

I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted

[worldheritageposts-official]

World Heritage Post

[starsapphire]

dc tumblr dashboard simulator

🌆 dickgraysonfan

i'd love to torture dick grayson

#he would look sooo good bleeding out

7 notes

🥝 walleyewest 🔁 Reblogged

📊 comix-pollz Follow

Best Flashfam Member | Round 7 Match 4

Barry Allen / The Flash

Skittering Flea with 2 appearances

Voting ended onFeb 9

#VOTE FOR SKITTERING FLEA WITH 2 APPEARANCES RN OR WE ALLLLL DIE #MY GIRL BETTER WIN

127 notes

🦸‍♂️ dickgraysonsuntreatedbipolar

i wish i could crucify nightwing

193 notes

🎱 lost-xmen-fan 🔁 Reblogged

🌌 vechter

[mile long outsiders 2003 webweave]

403 notes

💽 brave-soldier

this week's issue wasn't even that misogynistic this time WE'RE SO BACK

#wednesday spoilers

17 notes

🌷 lindalaang

i just paid an etsy witch $270 to give tom king polio

#wednesday spoilers

34 notes

🧚‍♀️ mutual-on-thinning-ice 🔁 Reblogged

🫂 blogyoudefinitelyhaveblocked Follow

4753 notes

🟢 timdrakelover 🔁 Reblogged

🔮 tim-drake-hater Follow

tim drake is gay as hell and annoying as fuck he needs to be put to death 😭😭😭

57 notes

🤖 transformers-mutual

do you guys think meteortron and chromicus ever explored one another's bodies

#theyre so t4t #meteortron #chromicus rex #transformers mega steel bot ultra knights

12 notes

🏙 nightwingslexapro 🔁 Reblogged

🌫 t0rture-g4y-p0rn-g1fs Deactivated

#i NEED to do this to dickie g

1692 notes

🔱 singular-aquaman-fan

does anyone want to talk about aquaman? 🤗

0 notes

[unhappytogekiss]

a new reality tv show called So you think you can write Doctor Who

twelve episodes, twelve contestants - a mix of annoying middle aged sci fi authors, fan fic authors and random people off the street

a variety of against the clock writing tasks, big finish scripts, ability to interact with actors without shouting at them and challenges where you have no budget or doctor for an episode

judged by solely by christopher eccleston

this is how you find the new doctor who showrunner

[fishsticks19]

Let’s go jazzprowl, also your titles are hilarious

i title my wips either the final name of the fic or something really heinous

jazzprowl mech sex is inspired by @keferon’s mecha AU!! featuring Jazz having a wet dream inside prowls cockpit and prowler getting a very hands on human anatomy lesson

[haveyouthoughtaboutcomicstoday]

wip meme!!

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Tag as many people as you have WIPs. People can send an ask with the title(s) that most intrigue them, then you post a snippet or tell them about it!

ty for tagging me @shoot-i-messed-up

Most of my WIPs are the back half of works I’ve already started posting because I do not follow a posting schedule.

Mera

Red Lanterns

werewolf au

minimus has 2 hands

Wolfwood

Spectre!Ollie

tff1extras2

I don’t know many people on here who write so anyone can tag themselves in if they want. But also: @zirobitches @fishsticks19 @sl-walker @fabfiveunionrep

[fishsticks19]

oh jesus why would you do this to me

jazzprowl mech sex

baby clothes and binkies

get impregnanted idiot

mermaid fucking

guy and his milkable tits

alien encounter

ojk ok ok uaoughhhhhh uh tagging: @supericelight @wajjs @catmomsoundwave i dont have six friends og god @aqua-dan @brainwavejrsoldermankink @passive-aggressive-sarcasm

[fishthingdaily]

Today’s fish thing is this set of fish glass cups!