Pls my lovely moot give the full review (or rant) if you could
Just so we can scream together 😈😈😈
*CRACKS KNUCKLES* alright smokey, lets do this!!
First, some of the positives, but my commentary is half negative (mostly subjective):
Cinematography and action scenes that were to be expected of a Nolan film, was fine. Good even. Soundtrack matched the vibe.
Eumaeus' presence, even if he was more of Odysseus' peer than father in the Poem. I did like how the movie didn't forget him, or Argos for that matter. No Dolius, however, so THAT complexity with Odysseus killing his loyal slave's child is forgotten
The romance of O&P was somewhat okay. I love Anne Hathaway and her first scene with Matt Damon did feel like two couples arguing. Then again Odysseus goes on to say "If I don't go Agamemnon will kill my son" OKAY WELL. YEAH HE DID BUT NOT THAT WAY??? Agamemnon essentially TRICKED HIM INTO ALMOST KILLING HIS OWN SON TO ABIDE HIS OATH, and that wasnt even Agamemnon, it was Palamedes T-T whatever! Okay sorry tangent but, I did like the chemistry of both, and that the Athenean brooch Penelope gave Odysseus was sweet, "He never took it off" is sweet.
They made Menelaus such a horrible husband but the tonal whiplash of him being a good uncle is. Whatever! I also did like Helen apologizing to Telemachus (to Penelope) about her involvement, not that it was consistent with how she was in the actual Odyssey, but Lupita's Helen it was at least consistent. (but no Helen telling Telemachus about Odysseus herself, bc men and women can't be friends to Nolan)
No Peisistratus (no homo) but at least Telemachus had Mentor, who becomes his peer?? in this. Nolan then proceeds to kill him off. Poor guy.
I hate hate hate how they couldn't just let Odysseus be held captive by Calypso, and not that he was drugging himself with lotus flowers, but I did appreciate the dread of Odysseus being shown, and Calypso in fact being in the wrong, and that like in the book he went out of that Island quicker than a cheetah. I don't need another adaptation trying to justify her "love" for him.
Himesh Patel made a great Eurylochus with the script he had (removing his flaws) but I did cry when he and the crew died
Sinon and Antinous rewrite to become parallels. Im expecting AO3 fanfictions asap
What I hated / the negatives:
Okay joke!!! I mean first of all, telling Penelope to remarry is like betraying her, himself, and most importantly Telemachus. The whole plot is Odysseus seizing back his right as Penelope's husband, so why would he tell her to remarry?
Matt Damon tried, but he just isn't Odysseus. Cannot embody the man of many twists and turns
No Anticlea, no Nausicaä, no Queen Arete, no scene between Penelope and Eurycleia... and Athena reduced to being Odysseus' conscience and guilt instead of being one of the major strategical players. Great film for women I guess.
I hate how this movie was made for those who just wanted a distilled version of Odysseus and yet none of the gods in it. Yes, it had terrifying monsters and the sirens, but the gods were a big part of it, Athena most of all deserved better. Giving Athena a bigger role was one of Epic the Musical's strengths, even if it went into a weird direction.
No. Hermes 💔 No mention of him or the moly. or of Helen's drugs. Nolan really wanted that PG-13 rating huh?
"That face won’t launch a 1000 ship but 500" god. BIGGEST FUCK YOU NOLAN. Worst thing Menelaus said in canon was call Helen fat in Trojan Women. In a Euripides play. Never talks like that to his wife in both Homeric Poems. Like literally fuck you man.
In that note, why can't they just make Menelaus and Helen lax like in the Poem? Like even if, let's say, Helen never wanted to marry Menelaus and was forced to come back to him from Troy, how much time did they have before Telemachus' arrival for them to at least be amicable to each other? In Book 4, Helen drugs the wine to alleviate the grief and painful memories, something to both their benefit and because, hello, Helen actually loves the guy enough to not bare to see him cry. Why can't Nolan use that as a sort of lesson plan for Telemachus to go like "yall shouldn't actually dilute your issues in drugs" or something instead of making Menelaus into some evil abusive asshole but its okay because he's nice to our tritagonist?
Okay. Giving Lupita flowers though because she was great even with the shitty script. Chris Hemsworth should've been Menelaus (tita told me to add this part haha)
The absent Nobody scene, very stupid and was definitely made to not make Poseidon into a character, all because Nolan wanted RDJ to be Poseidon and cut it out of the script entirely because the actor was busy.
In that light, I really hated how the characters were forced into "good" or "bad" roles, making Odysseus so "good" that they had the other suitors bow down and Mia Goth was surprisingly not killed/executed. Kinda funny how Nolan got Penelope to go "you stay with them" to her and ONLY her when in the books 12 of the girls were sleeping with the suitors.
Had to roll my eyes at the whole of Odysseus regretting the Trojan Horse. Does a disservice to both Odysseus and the Trojan people, as if his guilt could bring those people back. Odysseus in canon will always have that in this conscious, but he also doesn't care and it doesn't stop him from finding happiness himself after years of hardship. You can have both and not make it insulting.
Small nitpick but we should've had the scene of Agamemnon asking about Orestes be more emotional like it was in the Poem. They were two fathers who never met their sons!!!! I hated the exposition dump like of course I, greek mythology nerd, knows that Orestes killed his mother to avenge his father but why should that matter? (Nolan let go of the Oresteia Nolan put that down DONT YOU DARE TOUCH THE ORESTEIA-). Also the flashback to Iphigenia being toddler level was just mean, she was a teenager.
We lost a lot of character complexities- Odysseus being prideful, Penelope using her own sadness as a shield/weapon against the suitors, Circe given a random ass crow and not being as enticing as she was in the book? No scene of Odysseus actually being clever with Nobody, his failure to communicate with the windbag, not even him being a genuine father to Telemachus and hugging him when he found out. And no olive tree bed, no Penelope tricking him into revealing himself.
This movie felt conservative in the way that none of the characters were allowed to actually be Hellenic and the gods are more "symbols" than actual gods who we KNOW DRIVE THE PLOT!!! The point of Nausicaa!!!
Also Telemachus just downright saying "my mother doesn't want you here" is stupid, so stupid, for a film that emphasizes Zeus' law so much.
I turned my brain off watching this movie so I enjoyed it 70% except that enjoyment included laughing at the absurdity of most of the scenes.
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