I am Always Confused

I am Null. I like books and some other things. I am very fond of grizzly bears and other large mammals. 28. (they/them)

[flyinghellfish]

[krafterwrites]

[waitafrikk]

i hate when a book describes a pause as pregnant. get your dick out of the pause

[lunyselene]

terry pratchett is the only person who actually knew how to use a pregnant pause

[gnomebutch]

every man who says women have it easier because they can make porn when financially unstable legitimately have to kill themselves I am 100% serious

[wheeloffortune-design]

my publisher: Good morning! Huh did you advertise for the pre-sale yesterday? Because we launched twelve hours ago and we already made sales!

me: yeah, i posted on tumblr

publisher: .........tumblr?

me: that's where the gays are.

(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western)

[wheeloffortune-design]

update

publisher: And what is your marketing strategy on... tumblr?

me: idk, i shitpost at 2am?

publisher: .....and it works?

me: depends on what the gays find funny at that point in time.

publisher: Could I have a link to your tumblr?

me: .......absolutely not.

(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western where 50 year old women kiss and murder)

[wheeloffortune-design]

update!

publisher: I've been looking into tumblr, have you thought of using Blaze to promote your book?

me: NO

publisher: But it seems like an efficient way to get this in front of more eyes-

me: people on tumblr hate Blaze.

publisher: There is no algorithm and you can't pay to promote a post? I don't understand how anyone advertises anything on tumblr.

me: That's the best part. They don't. They can't.

(trying to make him understand that we do not control the attention. We just have to show something shiny and gay enough and if people are interested, they'll reblog.)

(Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a deconstruction of the colonialist cowboy mythos dressed up as a sapphic romance.)

[hidefdoritos]

BTW today I met a person who's at least 50, uses they/it pronouns, and named themself Wyvern. It looks like if Santa was a biker and it plays D&D at the local library. Just a reminder that you can do whatever you want, forever.

[wesandresons]

shia labeouf DIE. brad pitt DIE. chris brown DIE. johnny depp DIE. cristiano ronaldo DIE. conor mcgregor DIE. die die die die die die die DIE. every single abuser DIE. if you support them DIE TWICE!

[stopcallingmeimovedon]

Korra my love they could never make me hate you

[prokopetz]

One of my favourite bits of media history trivia is that back in the Elizabethan period, people used to publish unauthorised copies of plays by sending someone who was good with shorthand to discretely write down all of the play's dialogue while they watched it, then reconstructing the play by combining those notes with audience interviews to recover the stage directions; in some cases, these unauthorised copies are the only record of a given play that survives to the present day. It's one of my favourites for two reasons:

It demonstrates that piracy has always lay at the heart of media preservation; and

Imagine being the 1603 equivalent of the guy with the cell phone camera in the movie theatre, furtively scribbling down notes in a little book and hoping Shakespeare himself doesn't catch you.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Thou wouldst not downloadeth a car

[drops-of-universe]

girl will suffer unearthly tragedies and still run errands the same day with a smile on their face but if a mans parents divorce when he is 12 he will unleash his wrath on the world for the rest of his life

[autism-thoughts]

The anti-vax and anti-science propaganda is very real - and also, frankly I think doctors and nurses would've had an easier time getting people not to fall for it if they spent less time treating people like fucking shit

[autism-thoughts]

This post is about a lot of things but it is especially about racism, medical abuse, and eugenics

[cipheramnesia]

Actually the real reason I transitioned was because my parents joked so many times about returning me to the child store I decided to void the warranty.

[cipheramnesia]

Actually the real reason I transitioned was my dad complained about women in golf so much I knew it was a sure fire way to make him stop trying to teach me golf.

[cipheramnesia]

Actually the real reason I transitioned was because I'm really supportive of my wife but I wanted to make shopping for their tampons feel less awkward.

[cipheramnesia]

Actually the real reason I transitioned was to prove to a point about the ending of the Scottish play to my 8th grade English teacher.

[cipheramnesia]

Actually the real reason I transitioned was because slutty shorts for men went out of style and I couldn't give them up.

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

Have you considered doing standup comedy?

[cipheramnesia]

I prefer to sit.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Well then have you considered sit down comedy?

[cipheramnesia]

For sure, every time I stand up for open mic night, they says to me "sit back down."

[what-even-is-thiss]

Gets stuck in the past and makes a random village get way smarter and less violent in a generational sense because I keep smacking people over the head with a stick and telling them that it’s the devil’s metal whenever they try to use lead for something in my presence and there develops a very niche regionalized superstition that an angry warlock will jump out of a tree and beat the shit out of you if you touch lead with your bare hands

[what-even-is-thiss]

Gets excommunicated by the Catholic Church for telling people that they can banish the devil from their water if they boil it therefore saving hundreds of people from a cholera outbreak but I don’t care and keep trying to convince the locals to use soap more often

[what-even-is-thiss]

Meets another iseksied person in the far past and beats the shit out of them for participating in the slave trade and eating moldy bread

[adonischildsupportcase]

[what-even-is-thiss]

Gets stuck in the past and makes a random village get way smarter and less violent in a generational sense because I keep smacking people over the head with a stick and telling them that it’s the devil’s metal whenever they try to use lead for something in my presence and there develops a very niche regionalized superstition that an angry warlock will jump out of a tree and beat the shit out of you if you touch lead with your bare hands

[charl0ttan]

dude quick turn on wikipedia. any article

[jadeharleyinc]

me watching as every wikipedia article changes from “is” to “was”

[tentacleteapot]

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

[charl0ttan]

thats not how they told it

[the-rat12]

History is written by victors

[tentacleteapot]

yeah well Victor fucking bit me

[pjharvey]

we have to start running a massive PSA campaign to young gay people so everyone understands there is a difference between being a dom and being a top and between being a sub and being a bottom. and also that sometimes you are neither a sub nor a bottom and you're just like shy. we need to be handing out flyers we need ads at every train station spreading the word