florphy

he/him gay trans wasian adult man

[orpheusilver]

HOW TO HUG LONG DISTANCE

[orpheusilver]

HOW TO EMAIL HUGS

[orpheusilver]

10000 KILOMETER HUG TECHNIQUES

[blond-shell]

this is how i imagine cishet male montreal and boston fans act on hockeytwt before shane and ilya are outed

[shed-some-light]

shane was thinking about how to get pregnant watching ilya in that pool.

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

look i just think that shane would loose himself in a moment of violent catharsis and then have to live the rest of his life with both the tangible consequences of the action and the knowledge that he was capable of that violence and neither would be very pleasant for him

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

i think ilya loves piggyback rides and i think he really loves when he's half asleep on the couch and shane just squats down in front of him and says alright, baby. up. and he can just cling onto shane's back while he carries him upstairs and plops him down onto the bed and tucks him in and he doesn't even really have to wake up

[shanehollandersautismswag]

shane buddy, if you’re gonna stop with your sad “diet” thing (see some of my previous posts for more of my slightly deranged thoughts about all that) you gotta ease back into eating “regular” food again. believe me, you do not want to experience the gi issues and hypermetabolism and potential systemic shock that can happen when someone starts eating normally again after a long period of restriction. it sucks ass, trust me, don’t learn that lesson the hard way.

[shanehollandersautismswag]

i think ilya rozanov would be the only person on earth who has ever gracefully exited a hammock. idk what their deal is, they’re fun to be in but then when you want to get out they try to eat you. hammocks, that is.

[aroace-ryland-grace]

Some of a random Eridian's favourite Grace noises

[timcurrysbooty]

[carlottagiudicellivevo]

[takiki16]

NO FEAR.  The actors who played Long John Silver and Captain Flint in Black Sails FULLY ACKOWLEDGE that the Muppet adaptation was the best

(source)

[saint-batrick]

[alder-knight]

hi i hope i get to be the one to break this news on Tumblr, because

I am reading Tim Curry’s 2025 memoir, Vagabond

and in it, he not only devotes a chapter to Muppet Treasure Island, but also references this very post

so, to recap

no, Tim Curry is absolutely NOT a Muppet; however

yes, he and Miss Piggy ABSOLUTELY fucked

[captainclickycat]

Shame the subtitles left out Smollet’s “him too?!”

[mousiebites]

does spilling sauce all over yourself and eating in bed stop at 25 or am i fucked

[mymansmoon]

shane's face after ilya picks him up my god he's so turned on. this guy is 200lbs of pure muscle he follows a diet other professional athletes have never even heard of and spends half his life in the gym, the other half muscling big strong hockey players out the way to get to a puck. and ilya just lifted him right off the ground and is ferrying him over to the bed where he Is Going To Fuck Him. my sweet steaming-engine-brain shane has never blanked so hard in his life. he's barely a person in this moment he is just Hormone

[loverboy-shane]

god i wish we got more explicit scenes bc i Need gifsets of ilya pov shane gagging on it

[loverboy-shane]

likely thing for tumblr user @shanesmouth to say

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

ur a bit obnoxious (affectionate)

I'm tired can somebody please come explain why this is absolutely not a thing that scans as affectionate when coming from a faceless stranger

[deadgodjess]

Playful rudeness largly only works for people who have context for eachother or if it's an already established form of interaction, neither of which are true here. mOst situations where it's chill to do this with someone you don't know well are where the person you're talking to conceivably can get other social cues indicating that you are joking (voice, face and body language), all of which are lacking online in text. This fact is especially true when doing so as an anonymous message without even an account name to check out.

-10000 pts as this is a person who has repeatedly established they do not like this kind of joke from anons without any context.

[probuccalfat]

you people will make anybody a daddy dom it’s so scary

[ryebreadedd]

im a protected species you fucking asshole

[bugslibraryy]

Ok wait Shane and Ilya go camping Shane and Ilya in a three person tent but all crammed in together because the size of two hockey players is not small. Sharing a sleeping bag (both of their sleeping bags zipped together to make one big one) because Ilya had literally wined to Shane that Shane was putting him in a straight jacket so he can’t touch him and that he might die !! If he can’t touch Shane. Shane had been secretly pleased despite the dramatics of it.

They wake up in the morning and it’s cold and their stiff from floor sleeping and ilya is laying on top of Shane, flopped over him. Shane wakes up with a groan, half because Ilya is On His Organs, but also because they’d had some beers around the small fire Shane had made last night, and he was a bit groggy and desperately needed a piss. Shane poking at Ilya’s hip, hand scratching at his back to wake him. Ilya wakes with a huff, half sitting up and he looks crazy, curls stuck down to one side of his head, squinting.

Ilya just stares stares stares at Shane as his brain is coming online and after a thick swallow, Shane gently pushing some strays curls out of Ilya’s eyes, thumb brushing his brow.

“Wow. We are alive. Bears didn’t eat us” Ilya exclaims after a moment, voice dry and low and rumbly.

“I need to piss” Shane just replies and Ilya is slumping his head sleepy head into Shane’s palm and Shane is like “Ilya” and Ilya all “whaaaat” and Shane is like piss and Ilya is like “Shane not in the nice sleeping bags!” He replies and Shane pokes Ilya hard on the side of his head and then bites at his chin and when Ilya just keeps slumping back into Shane going heavy with sleep again Shane deploys his final tactic. He tickles, up Ilya’s sides and Ilya is thrashing off him immediately with a shriek. Shane scrambles out to pee, thank god, by a tree nearby- has a minute of two of peace before Ilya is tumbling out of the tent- wolf whistling and cat calling Shane for public indecency.

[samreich]

sometimes you dont know what youre signing yourself up for