whoa a title what @forsakenskunk - Tumblr Blog

first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

pronouncingitwang

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

yokowan

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

le-jardin-inculte

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

shithowdy

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

whitachi

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

araceil

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

jennamoran

this is going to be a controversial one but I think the optimal number of cats for facilitating making the bed is not, in fact, "every cat in the house" but perhaps even ... zero

rickybabyboy

dangerous misinformation

angelicguy

my toddler is 3 years old and wont eat anything other than fine porterhouse steaks and sweet port wine

milk5-deactivated20260704

you need to discipline your child. port is a horrible choice for the main course and wildly clashes with a rich béarnaise.

angelicguy

dude hes three….

bumblr-dotcom

And uncultured. Get a new child

creamsicle-art

me when therse apple slices at the function

vitariesocks

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

vitariesocks

2 pics. no caption

shithowdy

i've decided i'm going to learn more about yellow-headed blackbirds than anyone else. this is a strange and almost juvenile-sounding goal but no one seems particularly interested in studying them. if you try to search for information on them or certain behaviors you get the generic field mark and blurb guides, a few paywalled academic articles, and... posts by me, funnily enough. i just made a separate blog for my bird photography, but expect another at some point specifically focused on my documenting the colony of these birds that i now visit weekly.

i'm not a spiritual person, nor do i believe in the prophetic power of dreams, but i do think they serve as important windows into our fears and motivations and i think it says something that the only time i have actively photographed a bird in my dreams it was indeed a yellow-headed blackbird.

shithowdy

look at my blackbirds boy

shithowdy

the more i read about these birds the more insane i feel. i think the isolation of this tiny marsh might actually be doing some galapagos shit to the blackbirds there because everything from their vocalizations to their nesting habits completely eschews known data.

did you know that they are capable of imitation? don't worry! apparently no one else does either, but i have personally overheard them doing terrible approximations of not only red-winged blackbird songs, but also rooster crowing, ring-necked pheasant squawking, and what i now believe to be an eastern meadowlark song (which i have captured on video, something about which no one gave a fuck!!)

they are supposed to be drawn to marshes with deep water, over which multiple females will weave nests in single male controlled territories of typically 1k to 6ksqft. the waters of this marsh are wading depth, and the males control micro-territories of what cannot be more than 500sqft each-- territories that they share neutrally with marsh wrens.

this marsh is the last surviving 50 acre oasis of wetland in what used to be hundreds of miles of it, now turned into farmland. yellow headed blackbirds have been migrating across this continent for over 100,000 years according to fossil records. how does one compromise with their instincts telling them to travel a specific, ancestral route that looks and feels nothing like what their genetic memory tells them? they adapt, or they disappear, and a bird like this could never accept silence. i don't think.

headspace-hotel

I don't know how or why, but sometimes a species reaches out to you to be its caretaker and you just gotta answer the call.

shinyblackbird

Everything about this is delightful, I'm so happy for and impressed by OP, adopting an entire colony of birds and sharing them with us all. Which makes my personal revelation here feel silly in comparison, but you just solved a mystery for me.

Recently I found a big cheap "canvas" print at the thrift store, the sort of thing that's mass produced to look good in online listing but is noticeably cheap in person. But I loved the colors and the anatomy was surprisingly good, so it came home with me. At a glance it seemed to be an oriole with questionable fidelity, bafflingly posed on some cattails. I didn't think much of it, birds in art are full of bad anatomy and species all smushed together. At least it isn't a macaw with a crest. But as soon as I saw the photos here, I realized it's actually extremely species accurate, I just didn't know this was a species to consider

Thanks OP I love my yelling bird even more now

beardedmrbean

Periscope up

birds-in-posts

Green heron (Butorides virescens)

flareonfloof

birds have secret bones we're not allowed to know about

mctreeleth

ina-gartens-weave

video ive been thinking about for days

ranthaven

“All of us don’t have the same eyes” is my key takeaway here. This is 100 percent correct.

jnacho

notyourplayground

i promise: however big you think this wave will be, it is bigger

uinuvien

That wasn’t a joke. I aimed my estimate high and then added some.

The wave was bigger.

fozmeadows

I like to imagine that, thousands of years ago, humans still stood a (reasonably) safe distance from the ocean during weather like this to watch the waves, hooting and cheering when the spray came closer than expected and left them drenched

plague-vulture

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

sometiktoksarevalid

woman-becomer

thanks to compilation efforts, three posts regarding the gneep gnorp population are able to be read together in a single post, and they are now the most documented species out of all creatures on earth