Friday Night Breakdown

I really have no idea what I'm doing.

[caats]

[tiktoksijustthinkareneat]

[frostyemma]

I want 50 movies about her

[amandacanwrite]

THE BIT WITH THE EMPEROR IS SO GOOD

[google-searchhistory-official]

[ibetitdoes]

not to enforce gender roles but a computer should NOT fucking have apps okay. if I wanted an app I'd go on my phone my laptop is for Programs. I mean this.

[mlembug]

bringing the ancient meme back

[cazort]

really glad to see hate for this concept.

count me among the haters. i've been a hater since i first encountered this conflation of many different well-defined concepts into one ill-defined one

it's part of the general trend of hiding the inner workings of computers from the user, which is something i hate since it tends to promote computer illiteracy which tends to promote incompetence and dysfunction in society as a whole

[todaysbird]

that’s a whole man.

[starsinfight]

you can't leave off the photo the sawmill worker took of the kiwi

[narwhalsarefalling]

oh yeah have i ever told yall of the academic war i have been an unwilling soilder in for the past two years

[narwhalsarefalling]

okay SO. i have two professors that both teach this one subject, but different classes. they have different last names, so i didnt know this at first and espically since they are academic RIVELS at my school, but they are MARRIED. but for the past 8 years they have been in an academic WAR of geospatical sciences data. more accurately, the raster vs vector data debate. i am personally on the side of "both have their pros and cons and can be utalizied to the utmost efficency" but both professors are like, DEADLOCKED in insistanting one is better then the other

so, professor A is my mentor. i like him a lot, and he was the main person that taught me the most abotu Eris and ArcGIS. professor B is a professor i had one for class, and shes nice and knows a lot of little tricks about Eris programming but mostly relies on arcMAP because shes the raster data professor.

and THESE MOTHERFUCKERS. have written no less then 30 papers that is basically like a "re: re: re: re: re: re: vector data is better then raster fuck you" but like, Professionally. and they leave stupid notes in the footnotes that read "Reguardless of Professor A's opinions reguarding the efficency of Vector data, Raster data has a more efficant polygon computing rate and is the most commonly used program on interplantaring mapping" and its HILARIOUS

[narwhalsarefalling]

ive read all of their papers, and its basically like reading an email chain between a married couple arguing over the colors of the kitchen backsplash for their new home. its HILARIOUS. but obviously, because of their differnet last names and because they act like they HATE each other, NOT VERY MANY PEOPLE REALIZES THEYRE MARRIED

until like LAST WEEK

[narwhalsarefalling]

professor B publishes a paper that casually drops the word "husband"

and obviously all the students are like "oh i didnt know u were married!" because we read that shit like how white suburban mothers read People Magazine

[narwhalsarefalling]

and shes like "yeah, its Professor A"

[narwhalsarefalling]

and we all FLIPPED. THE FUCK. OUT

[narwhalsarefalling]

we thought the framed picture of the two of them on professor A's desk was ironic because hes that type of guy

[narwhalsarefalling]

like, you gotta undestand. these two have gotten into YELLING matches in hallways. these two refuse to go onto trips with each other. but apparently they have a system where they quite LITERALLY leave all of their work at work and drive home in seperate cars and literally NEVER mention work at home. it is SO funny

[beez-n-crackers]

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Listen, every academic has a nemesis. And sometimes you marry that nemesis. Shit happens, okay?

[sea-salted-wolverine]

My fucking cat has figured out how to gently dig his claws into my eyelid and pull my eyes open while I'm sleeping. He does this. It does not hurt. He is remarkably precise and gentle. I however am asleep when it happens and do not appreciate being clockwork oranged by a needy clingy goddamn animal who thinks he needs attention.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

I would like to clarify that this animal self feeds and is not being denied breakfast by my sleeping in. He doesn't do this to anyone else. Everyone else simply gets increasingly invasive headbutts and even thats a fairly rare occurence. This fucking cat needs to cuddle with me specifically, And he is decided that the best way to do it is to gently shove his claws underneath my eyelashes and pull. There is no way I can train him out of this because believe it or not shoving your fingers in somebody's eyes to wake them up has the desired reaction.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

We have come to a compromise. One that neatly illustrates the reason I'm not wearing an eyemask.

If I have a hair tie on my wrist, my darling sweet baby boy, love of my life and apple of my eye, can gingerly dig his teeth underneath and grab it in his mouth and then back up. and pull. And Snap the hell out of me with the elastic. Again, he is very gentle and precise, there are never teeth touching my skin. This is not a fluke, he managed this several times in various circumstances and positions.

This is worse than a toddler. We are approaching diabolical machinations hitherto undreamt of by domestic felines.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Behold, Prince Shithead himself.

[seat-safety-switch]

For the last decade or so, I’ve been routinely attending a ride-on lawnmower race. I’ve always wanted to participate, but the high cost of used mowers is better spent on more practical vehicles, like literally anything else. Sometimes, though, the universe sends you a message. And in my case, that message came in the form of an awkward leg of a huge trade-in scam.

Picture, if you will, the humble redneck. They await the approach of big, fast domestic mowers. John Deeres, Cub Cadets, even weird modified Chinese stuff they looted from Aliexpress. There is jubilance, but that soon comes to an awkward hush. An unfamiliar engine note approaches.

My International 1480 combine harvester, all ten tons of it, is barrelling down the highway at a clip somewhere between “tepid” and “jaunty.” Even though I have shown up for a race, I am sandbagging a little bit, making sure that the bets get settled against my vehicle before I show them the might of a fully operational monster such as mine.

Technically, there is no violation. I had looked at the rulebook from every angle in the previous year: it has the correct number of wheels, the proper agricultural intent, and with precise work on the tiller, it can even (poorly) mow a suburban lawn. Is it modified? Oh yes, yes indeed, but I see the nitrous bottles poking out from the rows of Kubotas at the starting line.

And when I leave the starting line, it is a thing of beauty. At least for a few milliseconds. It seems that the wizards at International Harvester simply did not comprehend of a situation in which the frame of their combine would be launched into the air by means of one thousand eight hundred foot-pounds of supercharger-bolstered torque. I had erroneously believed that the loose soil of the rural community would let the wheels dip in, but now I am facing directly into the sky, having twelve o’ clocked hard on my wheelie, shooting flames from my exhaust and whirling vertical blades of death towards the grandstand.

It’s not about whether you win or lose. Sometimes it’s about how many pages you add to the rulebook.

[andalwaysburning]

“It’s not about whether you win or lose. Sometimes it’s about how many pages you add to the rulebook. “

I am but a mild-mannered urban being and have no idea what happened in this story, but with all the Gods as my witness I am getting the above text put on a plaque and hanging it in my living room.

[headspace-hotel]

Legendary quote

[piggeon]

ummm this guy

[kidrat]

U can watch Star Wars so many times and it doesn’t prepare u for how dumb Star Wars is. For one thing I think we gloss over how kenobi (who has definitely been at the club. Please.) describes the mos eisley cantina as the worst most villainous place ever and then u get inside and it’s a pack of muppets vaping

[shane-actually]

the man who has witnessed a thousand bloody battles saying the airport bar is the worst place he’s been is based, actually

[elucubrare]

Star Wars is Greek; Star Trek is Roman. 

[elucubrare]

The comments have very valid points, and if you see this reblog, you should read them as well, but the initial idea was that Star Wars has a lot of focus on individual heroism - there are teams saving the day, but in the end the OT is centered on Luke’s personal struggle with himself and the Dark Side, and there’s much more of the sense that a single person can affect the galaxy with wits and/or a lightsaber - it’s more Iliadic or Odyssean. 

Star Trek, on the other hand, is about crew cohesion and bringing the ideals and material benefits of the Federation to other worlds, and serving the Federation or your crew above yourself, which feels like the ideals of Republican Rome - you’re not going to get Scaevola, sacrificing his hand, not for personal ideals but to show the virtues of his people, in Star Wars, but you might in Trek. 

[eightyonekilograms]

Every ship captain we see in Star Trek (but especially Picard) is a philosopher-king, while Star Wars has the fall of the Republic and the rise of the Empire.

I guess you can go either way with this question, depending on whether you’re comparing the series to Greek vs. Roman art or Greek vs. Roman politics.

[westbrookwestbooks]

I love finding things like this on this site. It’s like coming across graduate-level discussions free-range

[insomniac-arrest]

I don’t think any movie will make me feel the same ethereal sense of otherworldly sorrow and disembodied awe as that scene in Lord of the Rings where the loyal son is sent off into a doomed battle to please his vindictive father while Pippin sings a mourning song of his people

I was like 12 and high off this shit

[lotrlocked]

These movies CHANGED ME

[jaskierxyennefer]

This is one of my favourite parts of the whole trilogy. It’s haunting.

[ink-splotch]

And that Pippin takes actually a happy walking song of his people, because Hobbit songs are generally happy and about food and drink and gifts and things, and *transforms* it into a mourning song.

The song is from Fellowship, before all the heavy plot hits and they’re still in the Shire. It’s about walking, and how eventually all the bad things that scare or sadden you will fade away and you’ll be home warm by the fire.

And Pippin takes it, changes the lines, the key, and sings a song that is truly fit for Denethor’s great hall.

[fiddlepickdouglas]

Knowing Billy Boyd gave his own melody to it and everyone had chills after hearing him sing it. This is how you get actors involved with the story and character, this is how amazingly well these films were cast. Fans have been singing that haunting tune in echoing halls and caves and towers for 20 years now and it never loses its beauty.

[moonybyte]

Home is behind

The world ahead

And there are many paths to tread

Through shadow

To the edge of night

Until the stars are all alight

Mist and shadow

Cloud and shade

All shall fade

All shall

Fade

[photogirl894]

And even better: Billy Boyd composed the tune to the song and then performed it for Peter Jackson and everyone else while filming. They only did one take! That very first take is the one that’s used in the film! He’s just that good!!

[freenarnian]

Every now and then I like to pull up this video of Billy Boyd being endearing and silly and choked up about Boromir’s death scene, and then performing this song upon request:

[theoriginalsuki]

I sing it as a lullaby to my children but I use the original “away shall fade” to make it less sad because they’re just babies. uwu

[prismatic-bell]

Not even my fandom and I have chills.

[prismatic-bell]

You know what, I’m not done. Every aspiring writer should watch that scene and keep in mind the axiom “every person is the protagonist in their own mind,” because Denethor and Pippin are having TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT CONVERSATIONS.

Here’s the translation of how it goes.

WHAT DENETHOR SAYS: can you sing, Master Hobbit?

WHAT DENETHOR MEANS: I want entertainment and you’re from far lands. That’s a novelty here.

WHAT PIPPIN HEARS: I don’t care that I just sent my son to his death. Entertain me.

WHAT PIPPIN SAYS: yes. Well, well enough for my own people. But we have no songs fit for great halls.

WHAT PIPPIN MEANS: yes. But not for you. And our songs aren’t for people who engage in such cruelty.

WHAT DENETHOR HEARS: yes, but I’m embarrassed because mine are simple folk, and you’re very grand and regal. There’s no way I could be of any use to you.

WHAT DENETHOR SAYS: and why should your songs be unfit for my halls? Sing me a song.

WHAT DENETHOR MEANS: we’re all equals culturally. I’m a benevolent ruler, I don’t think your songs are inferior to those produced by my skilled musicians. Let me engage with your culture.

WHAT PIPPIN HEARS: I have literally already forgotten about my son. I’m more interested in entertainment and food, things you normally adore and which I’m making a mockery of by my actions. So sing to me songs of those things you love, entertainment and food. My son doesn’t matter to me and shouldn’t matter to you.

And then Pippin sings.

WHAT DENETHOR HEARS: what a pretty little song.

WHAT PIPPIN IS SAYING WITH THE SONG: fuck you for doing this to your son, who I love. Fuck you for doing this to me, as I mourn. Fuck you for making a mockery of the things I love, when it’s clear you don’t care for them any more than you do for YOUR SON. Your child, who you should want to protect. If you won’t mourn in these halls, by everything I hold dear I swear SOMEONE will.

Pippin can’t say any of this out loud. But his word choices are extremely deliberate. And so are Denethor’s! He does not see himself as a bad person! I don’t know enough LOTR to know if he’s a villain or just an asshole, but the important thing here is HE THINKS OF HIMSELF AS NEITHER. He’s a good guy who’s had to make some hard choices, that’s all. It’s the editing that tells you he’s not actually that at all.

This is a MASTERCLASS in “everyone is their own protagonist” and if this is the standard the movies rise to all the time I understand why y’all love them so much, because holy shit. That’s incredible.

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

[delphinidin4]

[a-game-is-the-foot]

[crystal-leopards]

these are still the most hilarious

[ominous-signs]

Official ominous signs

[suiheisen]

i watch baseball for the side quests

[dappergamelord]

throwback to 2021 when the exact same player started doing this extended water bottle bincoculars sight gag in the dugout

[stuckinnet]

this is the same guy who also made himself a fruit cocktail midgame. he is The manic pixie dream girl

[warriornunnery]

baseball is actually not a sport it’s just a documentary of human nature and how we battle boredom. the stuff these teams get up to while they’re waiting their turn.

and it’s hilarious when they pull pranks on each other, like attaching things to other people’s caps:

or the beloved hot shoe prank:

or when they decided to put a guy’s pants over his head and make it seem like he was walking on his hands:

or when they opposing pitchers took turns playing tic tac toe every time they got on the mound:

[labmousegirl]

one of the things that makes autism a disability (and why some of us choose to label it as such rather than an “alternate neurotype”) is the stress. 

part of autism is just being incredibly stressed. overstimulation? stress. holding a conversation? stress. something happening to our schedule? stress. people talk about how often autism is recognized and diagnosed via our stress responses (like meltdowns) because it is just so common to see autistic people stressed because of lack of accommodations to how our brains work.

and this matters because stress kills. stress causes a lot of health issues, or it can trigger pre-existing ones by making certain chronic conditions flare up. i once had a psychiatrist very unhelpfully tell me i “just need to manage my stress” when the stress i was describing was things i could not avoid in neurotypical society and can’t “just get over”. i can do “self care” all i like but i cannot at the very base level change the way my brain inputs information and reacts accordingly.

[roach-works]

i only learned this year that loud noises aren’t physically painful for other people. i have lived 34 years in a world in which my friends and family regularly physically hurt me at random just by shouting, and i thought everyone else just thought i was kind of a wimp for not dealing with the pain as well as they did.

like. loud noises physically hurt. it’s like a static shock from my ears to my spine that doesn’t stop until the volume goes back down. i thought we all agreed that ‘that’s too loud!’ and covering our ears meant ‘ouch!’. turns out i’ve been dealing with a stressor almost no one else has, my whole life, alone.

autistic people have to keep functioning through debilitating levels of stress that no one else in their life acknowledges or helps them with. it’s no wonder that their most visible ‘tells’ are breakdowns. 

[insomniac-arrest]

"Humans out-competed other hominids because of tendencies toward violence and domination." Ummmm

(X, X)

Early Man be fishin' (and being eaten)

(X, X)

Wisdom of the Ancestors like: if you have a rival, have you considered kissing them?

[im-just-kinda-here-k]

There is considerable evidence that the neanderthals went extinct not necessarily because of violence with humans but because we fucked em so much they got assimilated into our gene pool

[thirrith]

#see we are definitely going to fuck aliens