Hey everybody,I hope you've been alright.
I haven't been handling my work/life balance very well. I've missed you all so much and I'm so sorry that I've just dipped out on everything.
Some little updates. Work is going well, though chaotic. My boss has his good points and his weaknesses. This past month he's had four days where he didn't have anybody scheduled to close. I had to catch two of them and remind him about the others. I didn't put in for an promotion, though I probably should have, but I am studying to get my sprayer's license right now, so I can work in the park removing invasive species. We seem to have settled down as far as hirings and firings go. I still get along really well with everybody and there's actually another trans guy in Maintenance. He's younger than me but we get on pretty well.
My sister got me the huge boxset of Supernatural for my birthday. I hope to begin my rewatch again soon. I've missed them, and summer is the perfect time for their particular angst.
My mental health hasn't been the best. It's just one of those things. Life is going alright, in someways better than it has for awhile, and you still have that self destructive urge. I don't want to die, but my brain kinda does I think, and while I'm NOT in any sort of crisis or danger, it is exhausting. I feel like I have so many obligations, and the people around me have such needs from me, and I don't know that I can keep up, but I can't stop either.
My pets have been having health issues which luckily haven't been dire serious, but have been expensive.
I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed.
I have a tattoo appointment for Monday.
Hopefully I'll be able to get tickets for MIW's Apocalypsefest.
I think a big problem with how I do things and what bogs me down and keeps me from interacting with people and having fun is this incredible fear of fucking it all up, doing the wrong thing., BEING wrong So I just don't do anything and that isn't good. That keeps me away from things I like and you all and other people I'd like to me and experiences I'd like to have. I feel very lonely and behind and yet I continue to sabotage myself.
I hope to have more fun and be a better friend.
jacobvanloon
kianamaiart
kaledo-art
snowghoul
baratheonpilled
titsay
