*Shark Noises*

Credit for the icon: https://twitter.com/Ambris_Art Old enough to have had this blog for over 10 years.

[galenshark]

If you come into my asks or DMs asking for money, I'm gonna block you.

[twistedpictures]

im off twelve steven universe percocet, i’m fumbling bisexual bitches left and right. i don’t give a shit. i had to smoke the grass i was too busy touching your waifu’s balls. I have precambrian sea kin memories i swim in Trilobite pussy. Puffed the Nagito pack so hard they’re flying pride flags half mast. this shit ain’t nothing to me man. Refer back to my bio motherfucker, check the pronouns you’ll see that I am him

[lazarus-lazuli]

i have no comment this is just the funniest fucking thing i’ve seen all day

[talking-fox-actual-deactivated2]

I upset a few people in my intro to western philosophy class with this one.

[missouriangothic]

[furbearingbrick]

[freelyunder]

[zukriuchen]

[ithelpstodream]

[enfranchisement]

[onethousandrbirds]

happy anniversary 

[omni-rhombus]

Oh, hey Charlie, sorry you didn’t make it to the 8 year anniversary

[sentimentalslut]

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

[sentimentalslut]

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

[sentimentalslut]

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

[sentimentalslut]

framing these tags and hanging them up in my office to remind me that it can always be worse

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[m1ce-sp1ce]

Goobers that are sorta ready for summer!

[biglawbear]

I'm instituting a new policy of "if I can't easily read your crusty scanned PDF then I'm sending it back to you, telling you to get your shit together and save your .docx as .pdf, and causing snakes to manifest inside your house"

[christaaah]

this but also if you are in accounting and you have an Excel file please do not save it as a PDF or take a screenshot of it and then paste it into another Excel file

[biglawbear]

I take it back whatever you have going on is way worse than what I was dealing with holy shit

[firstbornsons-deactivated202605]

@thesummoningdark hello?????

[thesummoningdark]

yeah no this is a real thing an actual human being said to me

[biglawbear]

Good afternoon to everyone in the notes having a horrible time! Y'all are fighting demons I never knew existed!! I think every person that makes you do stupid time wasting shit like this because they refuse to learn basic computer literacy should be fired!!

[penny-anna]

endlessly frustrating that whenever anyone is like 'i wish i could find a type of exercise i enjoy' swarms of people are always like 'clearly you have not tried the type of exercise *I* enjoy!' I'm there like no I have. it sucked.

[penny-anna]

my high school offered a pretty diverse range of Sports in PE so i have tried out a bunch of them. i did not enjoy them and was bad at literally all of them.

i also took some martial arts in school and hated it. i took it up only bcos my best friend was doing it and at all times was like 'i wish i was spending my lunchbreak doing Anything Else'. i was also bad at it.

before anyone is like 'well you don't have to be good at an activity to enjoy it-' yes you do. sorry. when it comes to Sports if you are bad enough at it, you simply do not get to access the fun part. for example: me and my best friend used to 'play tennis' together in PE lessons but we were both extremely bad at tennis so we would just take it in turns to serve the ball at each other over and over bcos neither of us could hit it back. this was not fun.

i did a lot of musical theatre extra curriculars including dance as a teen and this was probably the one i enjoyed the most but once you hit a certain age there is an Expectation that you will want to get good at it. i was not a good dancer and struggled a lot with memorising the routines. this was not fun. it is not fun doing an activity you are bad at while surrounded by people who are better at it than you.

i have had very mixed experiences with swimming bcos obviously as a child it was fun to like. play in a pool but school swimming lessons were deeply unpleasant. it is the one i would most like to take it up again but 1) there is just a tremendous amount of faff involved 2) it requires you to be in a state of Undress around a bunch of strangers and i don't want to do that.

[penny-anna]

essentially i think a major disconnect happening here is that not everyone experiences the Exercise Dopamine to the same extent? i don't feel good after exerting myself. i am just like well that sucked the whole time and i felt bad afterwards.

[ffxvcaps]

→ Me? Gongaga.

[tgirldeng-deactivated20250331]

Does anything mean anything any more

[tittyinfinity]

[gryficowa]

My brain hurts …biden is too white for this role

[gryficowa]

In the sense, there is a white tiger (as I embrace Marvel as someone who is not his fan), and in nature there is a white leopard (snow leopard), but well, we are talking about Marvel

[pitbolshevik]

do..do you think we're talking about the marvel movie from 2018? is that what you think the youtube commenter means by "black panther"? the superhero movie?

[3liza]

[animentality]

[moxilock]

Teachers: anyway yea here's this story about a guy who hated slavery with his guts and died trying to kill it

Me: woah this guy sounds super cool! He's like a hero

Teachers: NO!!!!! >:( BAD!!!!! HE WAS A BAD GUY!!!!!!! HE DID MURDER!!!!!!!!!!!

[abbiistabbii]

Imagine hearing about John Brown and not thinking that the man was epic levels of based. Few people can match the amount of based this man had. Like a lot of people tried their best to boycott slavery, or campaign against it in parliaments and congresses worldwide, but when slavery is so embedded in a country or the world, the correct response is John Brown's. Brown saw the horrors of slavery and the state that protected it, and understood the best reaction was to get a load of Guns and start shooting slavers.

John Brown is one of those historical individuals who I can look at and genuinely call Based. John Brown did nothing wrong.

[theonewhowanks]

[thewrithingsouth]

i can tell when the edible starts to work when i start z-targeting shit irl

[thewrithingsouth]

iu'm doing this shit when i run into my cat in the hallway

[assaultmystic-archive]

whats cool about being trans is my parents are totally right. i did kill their beautiful son. im the thing that animates his corpse in an ever more convincing parody of a happy girl. i devoured him from the inside out and now there is nothing left of him and he is dead dead dead and there is only me, with my hollow eyes and dark eyeliner and long hair, and my big smile. my limp, effeminate gestures belie the marionetting of the boy they loved. my fagginess is his death. already his body becomes a fitter home for my parasitism in full; the tits, the hips, the thighs. sorry about your kid. thanks for the biomass <3

[mybisexualwife]

[zombieritual]

well personally i like it when there’s incest and necrophilia and murder and cannibalism and abuse and torture and gore and mutilation and body horror and sexual depravity and death.

[winpocalypse]