Vengeful Vegetarian Vampires

If I get bored or don't have coffee I die

[dndmultiverse]

Never ask a council of mages what the least ethical Wizard School is

[fipindustries]

ok this looks ultra mega based, are you kidding me? can you imagine the bullshit i could get up to with this bad boy? fuck yes i want ten

[mint-corset]

Wait are iPhone bros coping because Apple has to be more universal? Lol.

[such-justice-wow]

Boo hoo i'll be able to add more physical storage to my phone and be able to change out batteries if they degrade as well as all these other optional features I won't have to touch

[lectorel]

Continuing in the trend of political cartoons depicting milquetoast moderate positions seem so much cooler and more badass than they are

[domina-honoribila]

I love how they add totally absurd things no one is asking for to make the idea look crazy. And still, I must emphasize, failing to make this look like a bad idea.

[teaboot]

"Is this what you want? Is this ugly stupid bullcrap what you want??" the biggest loudest idiot in the room asks, holding up a picture of the hottest looking shit I've ever seen

[calebwittebane]

person typing into google search bar: obfuscate meaning

google ai overview: Understood! From now on, all meaning will be hidden from you, and you'll be forced to wade through the dreary vastness. Whether it's things you've always held dear, or new ideas you've yet to discover, nothing will make sense or appear to have any real value. This could be the beginning of a fascinating journey!

[hungry-skeleton]

Fucked up that if you make a minor social blunder you can't ask the person if they hate you forever now because that within itself is another social blunder

[fairycosmos]

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

[desinteresse]

My boss was like “Do you have any idea how much money we’re losing” like who cares, it’s not like they would give it to me otherwise

[desinteresse]

Have our investors tried making coffee at home and not eating out so much?

[suigintou]

i bet it feels good as fuck to erupt from the soil as a skeleton warrior

[scavengedluxury]

Ouffff

[bewbin]

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

[garaks-padded-bra]

A BIRD POOPED ON MY HEAD ON THE WAY TO WORK.

[do-not-fold-spindle-or-mutilate]

HOW DO YOU KNOW THE BIRD WAS ON THE WAY TO WORK?

[garaks-padded-bra]

DONT MAKE ME ANGRIER THAN I AM

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

things to say after fucking up egregiously

pack it up boys we've made a social blunder

let's run that again

one more time normal style

I'm going to become a statistic

further proof god is out to get me

it's because I tore my acl senior year

I couldn't do it for religious reasons

my ex took my talent in the divorce

good thing nobody saw that (said directly to someone who definitely saw it)

[todaysbird]

Today’s bird is this sulphur-crested cockatoo being swooped by an Australian magpie

[thehotgirlproject]

This is a wizard battle

[the-writing-goblin]

@wizard-council-bureaucrat is this legal???

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Not only is this legal it is REQUIRED in order to pass the Wizard Drama 340 class

[astrangertomykin]

My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.

[astrangertomykin]

Oh bother.

[dggeoff-deactivated20161128]

im deleting this fucking website

[best-chance-deactivated20161213]

It took me a minute

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Gotdamn I haven’t seen this post in almost a decade

[lesser-flamingo]

I love the old timey phrase "you forget yourself". bro that was so impolite like do you even know who you are rn

[homunculus-argument]

I know I'm not the first person to observe this, but banishment is a hell of a funny punishment. I now sentence you to fuck off. I don't care where, just get out of my sight. Go on. Git.

[wlfb0ygrl]

saying “i want him” about the character but not in a romantic or sexual way . i just Require him i need to Obtain him

[whispy-witch]

i want this man in my inventory

[joeyclaire]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

probably feels good as hell to jump backwards during a swordfight and throw a fan of daggers at your foe