All For Ourselves

Your local idiot 23 btw System Asocial + Antisocial Personality disorders Fictives Call us Sin/Sen They/Them Lover of Fictional Bad Men Local Trash Tastes

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💕💜~Introduction/Pin~💜💕

Name: Sin/Sen

Pronouns: They/Them

Age: 24 bodily

System, disordered, disabled

Loves shitty fictional men tbh, coping lol

Artist and writer, but too fatigued all the time to do that

Ain't sure what I'ma post, but we wanted our own account. Just for unspecified Sen posts.

Main special interest is Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss.

Main fixations are Adam, Valentino, Vox, 💜💕💜Velvette💜💕💜, Alastor, Angel Dust, Mammon, Husker, Fat Nuggets <3 (he's the real main character /j), Niffty.

Hi. We do not enjoy engaging with people overall, but will definitely like and reblog whatever we feel like. :)

Side blog.

💙😇Adam here!!!😇💙

Pronouns are he/him, rarely they/them

I don't really fucking post aside from aiding in some shit with Sin, but who knows when that'll change. I did affect our blog layout though. I'm aesthetic, what can I say~? But yeah, I'm an Adam fictive. I'm your local fucking idiot with the brain power of a rock. So not that different from our host :D They'll hate me for that one, but they say the same shit.

So yeah. I'll be referenced or cowrite posts, but that's about it. If I feel like posting my own thoughts I will, but I don't really need to at the moment of writing this. Later!

❤️Things to Know❤️

We are bodily intersex and semiverbal. We have a lot of processing delays and struggle with disorganized thoughts/speech. The disorders we mention our experiences of are also ones we have bodily. We struggle with words a lot and using the right ones so be patient if we describe something poorly/wrong. Communicating in any form is difficult for us due to autism, dissociation, schizospec, psychosis, brain fog, and physical disabilities that cause fatigue. We experience chronic fatigue, chronic pain, chronic illness.

[michaelanimelover]

Found a fun thing so drew this last minute for the night lol

[michaelanimelover]

Updated version with a couple details I missed here whoopsie

[michaelanimelover]

Okay so I know i never post ever (again) but I'm bored and felt like posting this random drawing lol. Enjoy

"Psychosis"

[michaelanimelover]

"I accepted it, Why am I still not happy?"

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i miss my boyfriend. He's at work. So selfish. Like, just stop working. Money doesn't matter as much as I do. Who cares if you can't pay your rent. Me. I'm important.

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it fuels my ego when my boyfriend asks for my help cause my autism has me full of knowledge. yes. I will help you no matter what. It makes me feel like a god.

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Not to mention I'm a system and barely know who I even am at any moment tbh. Alters switch out and I'll never know until I realize I feel like a drastically different person or realize I don't remember doing somthing.

[gaycoinflipfever]

Just remembering that time that someone saw my post about me saying stuff like "I don't care" to my bf about their interests and stuff.

Really just shows that some random post you see online is not indicative of a relationship. Bf still with me, bf still loves me. Hell, I posted that cause my bf finds it funny too.

If it really upsets her, she would tell me and ask for time indicators or reassurance. They actually fucking adore when I'm antisocial and can't give a shit about them. Cause they know my love never shows normally and even if I say I don't care, I encourage them to talk anyway cause it's important to them.

It's so difficult for me to have to constantly perform a certain way for my love to appear "normal." My boyfriend doesn't want that, he wants me to be blunt and honest. He doesn't want me to fake just to spare his feelings.

With how often I feel like I can't even feel love despite wanting them in my life and as mine. It's nice to have someone that will see me at my most antisocial and apathetic and see someone worth loving. See someone that is exactly who they love.

I sometimes people please all the same by trying to control it, but they actively want me to not do that. So they know how I feel.

My bf knows that I can't feign interest for what they talk about, that I don't care. But I will listen to them anyway. Because I want to hear them speak and it means something to them. And others don't really do that for them. So they know that me bluntly saying I don't give a shit about what they're saying isn't saying something bad against them, it's just stating a fact that I'm bored as fuck. Chronic boredom is one of my worst aspd traits.

Relationships with personality disorders and trauma are complicated. One post is not indicative of how me or my boyfriend are. And I'm blunt as fuck, but that makes him happy and laugh. We work together, not against one another. They accept me as I am and only want the best for me. They know my love is not normal and never will be. From autism to personality disorders to system to trauma. My love will never be normal. But they wouldn't have it any other way. Cause in my lowest moments, I apologize for being broken. And they always tell me that they love me the way I am.

Main thing is just that. You can't tell what someone is like from an online account or social media posts. You can't tell what a relationship is like. And as I spent more time offline, I see more and more just how common it is to assume based on your first reaction. It's not wrong to feel that way. But sometimes stopping to think for a moment helps too.

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I hate hyperfixation holes. I am so tired of becoming obsessed with some shit and spending an hour or more obsessively focusing on it and neglecting myself.

My boyfriend is asleep. I have no one to stop me. I'm taking another med to sleep. Fuck this shit. I have shit to do tomorrow.

x-Sen

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Boyfriend looking hella cute 24/7. He's so fucking attractive. Can't believe this dude is ever insecure.

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I miss my boyfriend. He needs to come home. He should just choose to not work.

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Oddly enough. Things get better when you AREN'T treated like a not even human monster for something that you never asked for and can't control. Who knew that treating people like they're actually people and not just stereotyping them as abusive jerks and monsters actually fucks people up?

Boyfriend treats me like I'm a person that can't always 1000% perform and struggles with emotions, but they still know I love and care about them in my own way. And suddenly I feel like a sweet little puppy and things feel better.

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I like that I can explain to my boyfriend that I don't care and don't really want to hear about their issues and they take it fine. I hate feeling like a jerk cause I can't muster up the ability to care. Cause on top of aspd, I also have autism and it makes it hard for me to switch from "perfectly fine" mode to "fuck there are emotions happening here" mode.

And then they just tell me it's fine and they know. And they know I still care even if I can't show it. And then I go from feeling nothing to weeping cause SOMEBODY gets it.

Me not being able to care about emotions or handle them doesn't mean I don't like you. I just genuinely cannot handle other people having emotions and difficulties.

But my boyfriend still knows I care. I let them cuddle me. I let them vent even if I kinda don't care. I tell them if it's getting to be too much for me. Everything feels just...right. I feel like I'm allowed to be a person. I don't feel like I have to perform a certain way to be seen as worthy to be in their life.

Learning that switching from "totally fine" mode to "I have to care for or listen to emotions mode" can be an autism struggle helped a lot too.

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To me, it is not creepy nor sad. To me, it is beautiful. The pain of the human heart and soul. The agony that breaks us apart. We are broken and shapeless, but we still try to live. We still try to be something. And maybe no one will love such pain. But I will. Because I did not ask to be this way, but I am. And I will see myself as beautiful. And treat myself with gentle love and kindness. I deserve compassion.

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I will painstakingly paint my emotions out and create a monstrosity of colors and shapes. Because that is what my inner world looks like. And it is beautiful. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone. It doesn't have to make sense to me. It simply has to be. And I will love it with every fiber of my being.

[gentleman-velvet]

Okay so bad news for everyone on YouTube right now

Starting the 13th, we will have an AI determine if we are children or not and if you are a child, than you are forced to send your ID, send a selfie or a credit card

This has the obvious cons of having your privacy being revoked from you and and in case there is a security breach, major identity thefts.

So what do we do in this scenario?

Well right now I have real idea as this is relativity new to me, but I do have two plans

Plan 1. Bug the shit out of them, send letters and send emails about how much of bad idea this is.

Include why the AI will mess up and target adults who watch cartoons, include privacy issues, censorship issues, anything you can think of that relates to this. I want you guys to bug the hell out of YouTube until they reverse this idea

Plan 2. Blackout.

Since the thing is coming out on the 13th.

The plan will be to completely avoid YouTube at all cost for that day, no watching, no sharing, no uploading, no nothing.

Download videos before things go down, watch Netflix. Whatever you do, don’t touch YouTube.

That’s all I can say right now, I also want you guys to let YouTubers know of this situation cause if it’s important for everyone on the website to talk about this immediately

Spread this stuff around, let people know of YouTube’s upcoming policy and how it’ll hurt everyone

[theofficialinternetloner]

Another great idea: everyone who has YouTube Premium should cancel it RIGHT NOW, and make it clear that you are doing so because of the new ID age verification policy. Still have a blackout on August 13th, and watch things on any other video content platform EXCEPT YouTube.

[beemovieerotica]

people are clowning on this guy on reddit but uhhh let's pause for a minute and ask...so what happens if someone has a skin condition? what if part of their face has been burned? what if they're missing their eyes? and so what if they just have a fuckton of tattoos? recognition algorithms are aligned with the most ""average"" / ""normal"" features which means any deviation gets denied access to shit we didnt need age verification for 1 year ago. i dont care if it's a choice versus not, dont care if it's accessing porn or wikipedia, this needs to stop

[multi-purpose-a]

Yay. AI ableism. 😀