go download me a hoagie off the internet

my main interests include sleeping and volcanoes and egyptian mythology and dogs in hats

[thereforealiar]

much like the minotaur I am a creature in some sort of situation

[coolyo294]

Free sushi at the bus stop on 10th st east in downtown st paul. For those who are interested

[animentality]

[penandinkprincess]

parenting commitment level 3000

[penandinkprincess]

apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy

[starsarefairylightsfornerds]

[aqueerkettleofish]

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."

[gaybichon]

i think i found my new favorite artist on twitter

(source)

[gaybichon]

👆 me

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[nemfrog]

Koi. Japan, Home of the Sun. 1963. Kikuko Mori, illustrator.

Internet Archive

[pukicho]

Parents are giving their children names no one has ever spoken out loud before

[pukicho]

Was it Human?

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

apparently they almost went with weston

[allidrawscomics]

Baby Name Consultant is the type of job title you'd see people claim to have on HGTV while nitpicking 3 different multi-million dollar houses.

[segamascott]

[normal-horoscopes]

Pregnant woman: eats rabbit

Rabbit soul staring at developing baby: This is where the fun begins

Baby a few years later: Has weird eyes and scampers

More

[thoughtsickles]

people in books and tv shows are always getting so upset they throw an untouched meal in the trash. that would never be me. i'd receive the worst news of my life and still be like Let me put this in the fridge.

[spookberry]

lowkey kinda hate how all the pride flags are just stripes, can we get some shapes up in here pls

[schnuffel-danny]

OK bisexual (czech)

[spookberry]

Hell yeah 🤙

[the-ghost-king]

Biczechual

[glowcowboy]

“it’s not that deep” it’s not that shallow. now what

[retroactivebakeries]

going forward, red words are considered odd numbers, unless the words were already even numbers, like five. blue words are scared of odd numbers and so will only appear in the same sentence with them if there are green words there too. green words are considered even and five. if you trap a blue word in a sentence with red words but no green words, death will result, and will be considered odd. odd numbers are divisible by purple words unless they (purple or red) are prime or it is raining. death has resulted. a prime number can eat the corpses of most red words and some others but they will be absolutely poisoned and die if they eat an even number, like five. this is how the stock market works.

[hog-zone]

tf do you think is making him strong as fuck

[my-dailydreams]

[peachfromcmbyn]

Okay I know the quote tweet is supposed to be ridiculous but that is how people talk. I have seen people talk exactly like that. That is not even a ridiculous exaggeration of how certain lefty types talk.