The Part I Can’t Tell

Trauma sideblog~ 25, neuroscience student and csa vic.

[gayturtle1848]

Barbara Gordon my beloved. I have totally Normal feelings about a disabled baddie who is coded as a SA vic

[gayturtle1848]

Incredible disabled diva luck for me that I’ve been on Lamictal for my ✨emotions✨ and that’s why I randomly stopped having seizures.

[vampfire1]

sometimes i think people just don't. understand that i like answering (non invasive) questions about my disabilities/illnesses/disorders. like yeah girl go ask me how i do my makeup as someone with tics and spasms. go ask me how i do competitive gymnastics as someone with chronic illnesses (answer a lot of taking breaks). go ask me how my hypermobility impacts my day to day life. how chronic migraines and epilepsy impact me. about my mobility aids. my personality disorders. why i can sometimes eat gluten but usually can't. about juvenile arthritis. about my pots and my compression socks (which i have a large collection of). about my horrible anxiety. about my hypomanic and depressive episodes. about my sensory issues and autism in general.

so yeah you can ask me about my disorders. just be nice about it.

[extreme-dyke-syndrome]

Me when my able-bodied friends walk too fast

[gayturtle1848]

As someone who got a pacemaker young, I really wish people would stop telling me how helpful it was for their grandparents! I appreciate you wanting to reassure me, but there is a specific grief to being severely disabled your whole life/as a child! Please just say you hope I’m ok and move on!

Totally fine if other disabled people disagree with me, but I’ve been really frustrated with the amount of times the response to my illness has been “you’re too young for that”, either dismissively or by implication.

[freakedoutdyke]

There's tons of reasons sexual assault and abuse victims tend to gravitate towards CNC in either role. Most often towards being the "victim" in these fantasies, but when you begin to interact with others who share this kink and history, develop empathy for them, care, and desire to please them, you can allow yourself to "take" from someone if they want you to. Being in control completely with clear communication given to you beforehand, can feel incredibly cathartic and like the break one has been needing, from constantly having their circumstances out of their control.

Many people go straight to becoming a stone top/dom as a result of their experiences as well! They are not any less valid, and it still takes empathy and care for your partner to be that, a great deal of it in fact.

I love the shear number of people i've met who have found ways to love their body despite the abuse and how it affected them. I feel for you deeply.

[gayturtle1848]

Any other vics having a Tough Time TM with the Epstein coverage? Because. . .. I am

[pathetic-tboy]

my brain is a machine that turns trauma into really niche and disturbing kinks

[subjectverb]

the thing abt npd and the stigma around it is when people talk about a "narcissist" theyre often not using it as a nonclinical term or to refer to people with narc traits. theyre using it to signal some sort of boogeyman, some sort of inherently evil person that is to blame for everything bad ever. which . i dont think i should have to explain why thats bad right

[only-man-in-the-sky]

[scunthorpem181]

[spud-sys-deactivated20251230]

being cluster b really is screwed up, because no matter where you are, no matter how accepting your spaces are, you are still Evil inside

you can make jokes about thriving on attention. you can make jokes about not caring about anyone's hurt. you can make jokes about feeling acutely abandoned by the placement of punctuation. you can make jokes about being possessive.

you can make all the jokes you want, and yet, every symptom rears its head, everything numbs, and you remember it isn't a joke. but nobody else does.

(especially FPs, for whatever reason.)

you have to be "one of the good ones". you can't let your symptoms show. you know you're inherently Evil. everyone will know you're inherently Evil. people turn. people leave. people enter. people come back. you can talk. you can make jokes.

you feel things. feeling things is Evil. you feel nothing. feeling nothing is Evil. people hurt you, they are Evil. you think about hurting people, you are Worse.

why can't you just say what's on your mind? because your mind is Evil.

[miki-kit]

[equalperson]

being an "is often envious of others" narcissist instead of a "believes that others are envious of them" narc SUCKS. WDYM seeing other people do something even slightly better or faster than I do makes Me feel physically ill?? this shit is so embarrassing.

[xenon-rat-revelation]

i fuckin hate barely remembering shit that happened to me. its like fuck off or don't oh my god. why do i have to be vaguely aware of what happened to me at all times but not actually know what happened? i'm so tired of feeling sick.

[terriblethingss]

i want someone to hurt me i want someone to be gentle with me i want someone to degrade me i want someone to praise me i want someone to hold me i want people to stop touching me i want to be fucked i want to be loved i want to be left alone i want to be saved i need to be saved i want to be special i want to hurt myself i want to be hurt i want to be destroyed i want to be safe i want to be in danger i want to be dangerous i want to kill i want to be killed i want to be hit i want to be cut i want to explode i want to be okay i want to be okay

[retiredchildsoldier]

Me, a survivor of child sex trafficking, in need of an insult:

"I lost my virginity before you, poser!"