I eat souls

he/him, trans man, autistic weirdo

[sashayed]

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

[maidthings]

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

[homunculus-argument]

I think it would be funny to write a murder mystery where not only did every single character involved have an obvious motive to kill this mf, they were actually all attempting to murder him first, but the murder attempts all cancelled each other out all except for one. Two people tried to poison him but the poisons just happen to work as antidotes for each other, and instead of killing him only gave him the shits, and due to having the shits he couldn't go hunting that day like he had planned, foiling the plans of the one who had conditioned his favourite hunting horse to panic and bolt at the cue of a whistle, and the other murder attempt of tampering with his gun so that it would have exploded his whole face off.

The whole mystery isn't about who could have done it or how, but who was the one who got lucky and actually succeeded.

[terriwriting]

Sherlock Holmes and The Case of Perhaps We'd Best Leave This One Alone, Watson. There Appears To Be An Excess Of Armed Maniacs In The Vicinity.

[copperbadge]

When I was in high school a friend of mine would host murder mystery dinners once or twice a year. They were the kind you could buy as a kit -- I don't even know if they exist anymore -- and everyone was assigned (or chose) a character, then received a booklet of clues to share. The idea was to spend an evening in a one-shot LARP designed like an Agatha Christie novel.

I was a year above most of them at school so they threw a "goodbye" murder mystery for me just before graduation, and about 2/3 of the way through the game we all realized that everyone had at least attempted to kill the victim. The game then shifted from "whodunnit" to "who succeeded in dunninit" which we all felt was not only super fun but above the usual level of narrative complexity for those games.

After we solved it, we discovered that the game wasn't from a kit -- the host had written it herself and meticulously printed out the booklets in replica style of the kits. It was the best going-away party I think I could possibly have had.

[upsettingandunfortunateclasshate]

My son's tattoo hurt me deeply

When Tess Morgan's son came home with a tattoo, she was griefstricken. She knew her reaction was OTT (he's 21) but it signalled a change in their relationship

This is gold this, absolute gold, the most over the top melodramatic hysterical ridiculous thing I’ve ever read

[brawlcloud]

This is actually so interesting to read- it’s from 2012 but its full of the same anxieties, even some of the same phrasing that many of the guardian’s later pieces on transness use. really hammers home how much of the terfism that emerged in the late 10s was middle class mothers angry at a loss of control over their adult children- whether that be their bodies or their friends or their opinions- and making that everyone’s problem because they have the power to do so

[monkey-cat-vivi]

He says, “I’m still the same person.”

I look at him, sitting there, my 21-year-old son. I feel I’m being interviewed for a job I don’t even want. I say, “But you’re not. You’re different. I will never look at you in the same way again. It’s a visceral feeling. Maybe because I’m your mother. All those years of looking after your body – taking you to the dentist and making you drink milk and worrying about green leafy vegetables and sunscreen and cancer from mobile phones. And then you let some stranger inject ink under your skin. To me, it seems like self-mutilation. If you’d lost your arm in a car accident, I would have understood. I would have done everything to make you feel better. But this – this is desecration. And I hate it.”

[quasi-normalcy]

Also just the classism of her associating tattoos with “vest tops, dogs on chains, broken beer glasses”; like, just say you hate poor people

[catboybiologist]

"Getting into this hobby is actually super cheap and easy!!!! First, start with a section of land and a house that you own and can mess up at your discretion"

[catboybiologist]

The original inspiration for this is that I've looked up a lot of basic woodworking stuff multiple times to try and make better and better tortoise enclosures, and ended up in this trap every time lmao

[catboybiologist]

"It's much cheaper to just buy this size of wood and take it to your table saw" WHAT FUCKING TABLE SAW

[kaiasky]

the secret is that people who have a garage with a table saw are constantly looking for reasons to justify that use of space and money. so if you find somebody with a table saw and ask if you can use it, you're actually doing them a huge favor by justifying the saw continuing to take up space. "of course I need a table saw. what if somebody needs to upgrade a turtle enclosue."

[lumsel]

#1. go to local gay bar 2. find group of 50-60 yr olds. 3. ask if anyone has a table saw 4. watch eyes light up

[boomerdacat]

With this four step plan you get a place to practice woodworking with optional sex with some older men

[gaycodedvillainy]

For anyone wanting it, they can cut your material for you at most Home Depots if you need it

[knitmeapony]

But can I have sex with older men there

[knitmeapony]

I am never leaving this site

[maximumsunshine]

Reblogging but want to keep @moonlightredfern 's tags.

[liirker-at-thresholds]

I really like how the scientology speedrunning trend is developing, in this clip we see that the participants are

Not deterred by the closed door

Working as a group

Protecting their identities

Inflicting material costs to the institution via property destruction

Getting away at the end

These ideas were not all here from the beginning. They are genuinely gaining experience that can be applied elsewhere

[liirker-at-thresholds]

The church of scientology is on tumblr and they are sending me anon asks telling me that they can't even commit to reporting a post

[kyonite]

trying to create an ebay account to sell smthn and tell me why I can't use my REAL LEGAL LAST NAME because it includes "dick" which ebay considers offensive

BUT THEN IN THEIR MISREPRESENTATION POLICY THEY SAY YOU CAN'T COLLECT MONEY TO A BANK ACCOUNT THAT'S NOT IN YOUR BUSINESS OR LEGAL NAME. BUT MY LEGAL NAME INCLUDES DICK, WHICH YOU CONSIDER OFFENSIVE.

the sanitization of the internet is so fucking stupid we live in the stupidest time

[raingardening]

i think there is a phenomenon where sometimes a trans person will go “hmm. i am treated as a man when it is convenient for others, and a woman when it is convenient for others, and often as a freakish third thing excluded from the advantages of both. surely, because of the gender binary, the Other Type of trans person experiences the opposite: they reap the benefits of maleness and femaleness at once.” like babes no they can do it twice

[tributary]

‬Hey sorry for the random approach but are you interested in making some extra cash by being your sugar daddy ? Text me on snapchat : a_verrechia653

am i interested in being my own sugar daddy?

[tributary]

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Somebody I saw Barbie with last night described it as Everything Everywhere All At Once meets Barb and Star Go To Vista Del Mar, which is extremely apt.

If you're one of one of the millions of people who loved the first two but never heard of Barb and Star, it's because its theatrical run was canceled by covid and instead it was unceremoniously dumped on Hulu with 0 promotion. Please go watch it. I beg you.

I don't even know how to describe it. A surreal and campy celebration of middle-aged women? A girly riff on Austin Powers? Jamie Dornan's career best performance? My new favorite comfort movie?

[gingerautie]

I recently experienced this film with 5 other gays while on LSD and it was one of the most incredible experiences of my life

[portraitoftheoddity]

My favorite part of youtube is the part of it that is middle-aged-to-old guys with zero production value who have made a simple, low-quality video on their phones about how to repair the exact fucking appliance that has been giving me grief so I can fix that fucker myself instead of spending hundreds of dollars to hire someone.

These men are all my honorary uncles and I love them.

[shiftythrifting]

(Admin here: the image vanished once this post went live. Cursed bussy.)

Bussy (book pussy)

It was a solid chunk of plastic decorated to look like a book; you couldn’t open it or anything. I think it isn’t actually meant to represent a vulva but I cannot fathom what else it could possibly be

[endreal]

Apparently there was some kind of race scheduled at a local park or something so I've been trying to avoid the main trail but a little while ago when I had to cross near it I overheard the following shouted exchange

Higher feminine voice: woo, look at you go! You're jogging! Keep it up!

Lower masculine voice (panting): you know it! Last place is still a place, baby!

And goddamn if that didn't rewire my brain a little bit.

Last place is still a place, baby.

[ladysisyphus]

I know of a trail racing company that gives the slowest racer who finishes every race a DFL award: Dead Fucking Last. I was a little taken aback by this until I had it explained to me that those last-place finishers are pretty much uniformly people for whom finishing at all was an accomplishment: people undergoing cancer treatments, absolute beginners, runners in their eighties, extremely pregnant people, you get the idea. Moreover, what you see as this person crosses the finish line is all these sporty trail racers, many of whom finished the race literal hours earlier, cheering their hearts out because they respect that, yes, DFL is still a place, baby.

[homunculus-argument]

I like that the only reason we can't domesticate hyenas is because they are simply too powerful. You could take one with you to a city on another continent, leave for work in the morning and then by lunch the beastie shows up at your job like "hi bud I think you accidentally forgot me at home :3 but it's ok I'm here now!" because once alone it chewed trough a brick wall, bent out a cast iron gate, and tracked the faintest scent on asphalt through a completely unfamiliar environment to find you.

Also caught and ate a few pigeons, two outdoor cats, and a small dog on the way. A quick snack.

[dabblingindissent]

[hyenaswine]

the ones at the zoo where i did my internship dug up an old clay pipe in their enclosure, & then ate it. they just ate the pipe.

[zinesforfiends]

ok bro bye

[jumpscart]

Sometimes you will be a lesbian to your parents and a straight man to your partners parents and a gay man to your partner and a woman to your grandparents and out to your friends and stealth to your classmates and a nice young lady to the cashier at the coffee shop and then people on your computer will ask you to choose which of these identities you ACTUALLY are and which you are Appropriating The Oppression Of because don’t you know they contract each other. You can only be one thing solidly forever

[neurotypicalabusesurvivor]

This is a friendly reminder that none disabled people often do benefit from the same accommodations disabled people benefit from.

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

Yeah okay I'll reblog that!!

[multishipperpirateking]

My dad used to work for Vodafone and likes to tell a story about when he was working on a voicemail transcription service.

And there was a woman there who was some form of disability advocate (it was the 90s so her existence in the company was a minor miracle) and apparently she completely blew his mind on that project.

See, he'd imagined that this service was exclusively gonna be for deaf people. Obviously very useful for the very small number of people who couldn't hear their phone, but why would you even own a mobile phone if you couldn't hear?

But she described to him all the times he might want to read a message instead of listen to it. Maybe he was in a loud football crowd. Maybe there was important info that he needed to copy down that was spoken too fast. Maybe he was holding his sleeping newborn (me) and didn't want his phone to be loud and wake them up.

This doesn't feel as revolutionary as all that to those of us that have only ever known phones with the ability 'send text message', but given the timing and placement of this conversation I wonder if this woman and this project is *part of the reason text messaging exists*. The first text (SMS) message was sent by Vodafone UK in 1992 - where + when this conversation was happening - and then for a long time it was supported exclusively for 'messages from the carrier', and this project was an early potential extra use of the SMS protocol.

So Yeh, building for disability is kinda handy..

[the-fallen-blue]

can you imagine how often you would use sign language if everyone knew it