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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@glasshamster
I drew a lot of bookplates for the Year Two Kickstarter.
- Jack and Parse as kids in the Q - Lardo and George talking about their dumb boys - There’s a huge S in the Samwell hockey locker room for this purpose - Parse, at home, probably on insta - Bow before Lardo, Flipper of Cups, Ruler of Bros - A swim. (◡‿◡)
A digital commission for the Year Two Kickstarter! Bitty and Jack enjoying a first pie at Jack’s new place. Thanks for the request, LF!!
PSYCH! i’m about to NUT
N: not control my emotions
U: unravel into a state of despair
T: turn away from god and all light
I feel like Adam Sandler has a pair of these
i love how in FL cannibalism is for the most part only hinted at like ‘ohhh they have such ‘’’’’terrible table manners’’’’’’’’ if you know what i mean’ and the player character has to put in a good bit of effort to even interact with cannibals, much less eat human flesh.
and then in sunless sea its like ‘whoops im out of supplies better eat my crew haha’
to everyone reblogging this lately: we get it, Floridians eat people as well
“You really think I’m pretty, Poindexter?” “…Unfortunately.”
from Shelly’s fic “like living on a cliffside” @geniusorinsanity bby i love you and your angsty, slowburning ass
Just imagine when Jack is preparing to leave the Haus after a visit and Lardo asks if he has all of his things.
“I…no, wait a minute.” He says, disappearing into the kitchen. Lardo waits and is slightly startled when she hears a loud squeak. Then out comes Jack with Bitty slung over his shoulder and he simply bends down and picks up his suitcase, perfectly balancing Bitty.
“Okay, I’ve got everything.” Jack says, completely cool and Lardo is trying so hard not to laugh but loses it when she hears, “Goodness, Mr. Zimmermann, put me down!’ coming from behind Jack’s back.
A lot of pets will ignore you, but only a cat will follow you from room to room and check your lines of vision to make absolutely certain that you can see them ignoring you.
theyre not ignoring you! this is actually just a cats way of saying they want to keep you company without infringing on your personal space. its the equivalent of going to a friends house while you both separately scroll through tumblr, even though youre glad to be together. alternatively the cat could be curious about what you are doing, but shy to make its presence known. either way the cat is paying very close attention to you!
this made me feel better
I don’t understand why cats will have everything they do demonized no matter how innocent it is
It’s because they are hypersensitive introverts, and humans are mostly social extroverts.
Hypersensitive, introverted humans are often mistaken for antisocial, and as a species, we are myopic and anthropomorphize EVERYTHING.
Semi-social animals are not naturally intuitive to humans.
Dog packs very closely mirror a nuclear human family, made up of a mother and father and their pups, who leave to find their own mates and start their own packs as they mature beyond young adult hood.
Pigeon flocks are like a villiage comprized of one big, extended family, where children mostly stay close and new birds marry in.
Cats don’t work that way. There is no firmly set social structure for more social domestic cats to fall back on. None of the species they are thought to come from are naturally social. They mate, have kittens, and those families disperse to the four winds as soon as the young become self sufficient.
We have selected for higher tolerance to crowding and confinement, but that does not a social structure make.
A group of cats is more like random collage dorm or house mates. Whether or not they get along and how many the group can support long term depends on how well their individual personalities mesh, regardless of blood relation.
Kittens are more out going and have more energy than adult cats, but as they age, being playful and taking the risk of being friendly takes more energy than they have, so they go from being willing to play with every one to prefering the company of favorite familiar entities that have taken the time to learn about that individuals needs and preferences.
Humans, who naturally form close knit pack bonds, are generally out going, and do their very damnedest to form life long bonds of friendship see a cat’s intense curiosity and wary shyness of approach as stalkerish, and its need for quiet solitude when overstimulated (coupled with just *how* fast they become overstimulated) as fickleness, and are completely heartbroken when a friendly, out going kitten grows into a relatively shy, reserved cat.
With no effort to understand, what the average human sees is a sly, untrustwothy animal that is friendly one second, and warninglessly aggressive the next, not because there actually was no warning, but because feline body language is very subtle.
Once again, due to a cat’s sensitivity.
To a cat, humans are VERY loud, over the top dramatic, and socially dense as a fucking brick.
They have to scream EVERYTHING to get across to most of us, and that shit is exhausting.
The fact that they do make that stressful and exhausting effort proves that the ones who like us actually love us VERY much! Just not in a way that big, loud, oblivious drama queens easily pick up on.
Reblogging to the pet blog because animal behavior.
shoutout to those random peacocks you find in places that are probably unsuitable for a peacock to inhabit in the first place
what the fuck kinds of lives are you guys leading. i’ve never seen a peacock in my life. where are u guys finding them.
Random neighborhoods in Florida
a gas station in morocco
middle of a busy road in england
middle of the woods in a rural town in Mississippi
Irish farms??
Roof of a house in a tiny English village
Screaming their heads off in abandoned fuel stations in the back-blocks of the Rangitikei
with a group of pheasants in the woods in maryland
Strutting outside the window of an elementary school library in Texas.
Walking down the street of a California suburb on a hot summer afternoon like he owns the place
At a golf club in Long Island
At a strawberry festival in SoCal
Outside a café in Ayia Napa
Walking thru my neighborhood in nebraska
watching over fish near a pond in switzerland
Roaming free in the New Orleans zoo. Not part of an exhibit or anything. Just strutting around being peacocks.
Roaming around the side of the road in the rural part of indio
Side of a quiet road on the Central Coast, NSW, Australia
Chasing random cabbies on the road in Singapore
Chilling by a pond in Pennsylvania
Chilling by your hot tub in Northern Illinois
Displaying for my car as I learn to drive on the dirt roads in pennsylvania.
Bossing around the goats in a petting zoo in Victoria, B.C., Canada.
Random castles in Austria.
Flirting inappropriately with a chicken on the Isle of Wight
Freaking out suburban soccer moms in Oklahoma for over a month, also they appeared to be gay.
A backroad in rural Stewartstown, PA.
when jack comes out he kind of panics and says “my boyfriend is gay” and then he thinks about it and realizes that’s the funniest thing he’s ever said in his life and he says it every chance he can and actively looks for opportunities to drop it into conversations
cocked & loaded [dwayne johnson/vin diesel]
okay, so if i were to write the academy award-winning and world peace-establishing screenplay where Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson and Vin Diesel slowly fall in love, this is what it would look like:
vin and dwayne would be bitter Rival Agents for an intelligence agency. both would be up for a Big Promotion. they would both be working together (but against each other) on something something black market mafia. the mafia would be involved. they would be VERY CLOSE to cracking this case.
whoever cracks the case gets the promotion! because things like this are always very clear-cut in movies. and whoever gets the promotion is the Better Agent, and it’s settled forever.
what they don’t expect is when they finally go in to make the Big Bust on The Family is that the Big Players will still be at large–and there will be a BABY.
the baby will fall into agency custody, and will require surveillance in a remote safehouse.
“i need YOU TWO to pretend and be this baby’s GAY DADS to protect the baby and keep The Family off our tail while we close in on them,” says Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o.
dwayne and vin and baby are begrudgingly moved to a suburb of provincetown, massachusetts. cut to shot of a FOR SALE sign being pulled down, a ford fusion hybrid pulling up behind a moving van. dwayne and vin step out. they are both wearing muscle shirts and mirror-lensed aviators. dwayne grabs a baby bag, throws it over his shoulder. vin grabs the car seat out of the back, and both of them walk-slow motion up the side walk to their new 800k beach house.
here’s what they expect: passive aggressive co-existence for a couple of weeks, where they try to be the Better Dad in a bid for the promotion they both want. dwayne will go jogging with the baby every morning!! vin will wear her in a sling when he goes to the farmer’s market and smiles at the vendors while feeling up avocados and selecting fresh caught filets of fish!!
here’s what they don’t expect: their next door neighbors are going to be Channing Tatum and Idris Elba and their five beautiful, interracial babies. they are the perfect Gay Family, but “also,” dwayne says, pushing vin inside from where he’s been grilling steaks and drinking MILLER out of a CAN in broad daylight for the Real Gay Family to see and call over from their patio!!! “these guys are the REAL DEAL. they’re gonna know something’s up! i know we’ve had our beef, but we gotta step our game up and work together if we’re gonna make this operation work.”
“you’re right,” vin says. he’s nodding, looking at a ground, but then up and meeting dwayne’s gaze. “you’re RIGHT.” they’re gonna make this partnership work!!! they are going to be the BEST GAY DADS.
CUT TO: vin and dwayne staring at the king sized mattress in the master bedroom. “i can just–” vin says, but dwayne grabs him by the shoulder and shakes it playfully. “no man,” he says. “it’s all in or nothing.”
CUT TO: them jogging together with baby playfully squealing from her stroller early in the morning.
CUT TO: vin playfully feeding dwayne grapes at the farmer’s market. “it’s all or nothing,” he repeats, raising his eyebrows (???? eyebrow folds? idk man). dwayne rolls his eyes and TAKES THE BITE.
CUT TO: channing tatum in monogrammed shorts and pink polo and boat shoes on their front door step with one of his many perfect, precious toddlers on his shoulders. “uh yeah,” dwayne says, cool as a cucumber. he’s not freaking out (he’s totally freaking out!!). “we’ll bring the wine.”
“we’ll bring the wine?” vin repeats, in a hushed voice so the neighbors and baby don’t hear them fighting. “do you know anything about wine? they probably have a second house in france! i haven’t had anything that didn’t come from a box since–since ever! what were you thinking?” “i panicked! it seemed like the right thing to say!”
TIRES SCREECH as the ford focus hybrid drifts into the whole foods parking lot.
they show up out of breath, foreheads glistening, with baby in her favorite babybjorn, feet kicking from the day’s excitement of wine shopping. vin, wheezing, passes a bottle of red and a bottle of white.
“oh, a chateau coutet barsac,” idris says with a chuckle, showing the label to channing. “remember that time–?” and oh my GOD, they have inside jokes!!
(”we don’t have any inside jokes!!” dwayne whispers when they immediately excuse themselves halfway through a tour of the house. “that’s because you are the least funny person i know!” vin replies. “god, i hate you!!!” they both probably hiss at each other.)
the worst and best part of the night is when they’re serving the roast veg salad, and channing says with the best intentions, “so, how did you two meet?”
“uh,” vin says.
“the gym,” dwayne says. which, actually turns out to be true. they look at each other, smile soft and genuine for once at each other, REMEMBERING. before they were BITTER RIVALS, they met at the academy gym and were GYM BUDDIES. they used to have FUN trying to beat each other’s PR on the treadmill, they used to LOVE shit talking each other when they spotted each other bench pressing, they used to snap towels at each other’s asses in the locker room and totally not check each other out or anything!!! and then they were both accepted to the same position at work and they stopped being friendly for whatever reason. they stop smiling, they look away from each other. “anyway.”
“we met building houses for habitat for humanity,” idris offers, because of COURSE THEY DID.
the second worst part of the night is when channing mentions during the dessert course that two weeks from now is the annual May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, and maybe dwayne and vin would like to host to get to know everyone else in the neighborhood!
vin has had like, three more glasses of wine than everyone else, and with aid of liquid confidence, shrugs his shoulders and leans back in his chair and says, “yeah, man, we’d love to.”
“’yeah, man, we’d love to?’” dwayne repeats when they’re walking home, baby asleep in her bjorn.
“sorry, did you want me to give ourselves away? what happened to being the best? we’re trying to be believable!”
“yeah,” dwayne says, watching vin strip off his shirt and pants and toss them over his shoulder into their spare hamper before crawling into their bed. it’s routine. they both have their sides of the bed. “believable.”
the bedroom is quiet as they face away from each other at the edges of the mattress. eventually dwayne asks, “do you remember why we stopped being friends?”
for a second he thinks maybe vin’s gone to sleep. but he turns over. “no,” he says. “or yeah, maybe. as soon as i realized we would both be seeing action, it became too much of a risk. friendship. it was easier to lose you as a friend on my terms than lose you as a friend because you got your dumbass killed.”
they decide to be friends again. you know, for the baby. for work. whatever.
they get so caught up in planning the May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, making inside jokes and ignoring the increasing casual physical intimacy between them that they don’t realize they are BEING WATCHED.
the mafia is HERE and they want their BABY and they want dwayne and vin DEAD.
the M.D.H.N.B.P.C.C happens and everything is going according to plan, and they are about to have dwayne judge the bisque portion of the competition, but no one has seen dwayne anywhere!!!!
are there warehouses in provincetown??? is there a bad part of provincetown??? anyways, that’s probably where the mafia took dwayne. vin is FREAKING OUT, how does he save dwayne??? how does he protect the baby, who they are using dwayne as ransom for??? who will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookoff???
idris puts a hand on his shoulder. he’s been watching the entire time. “i’ll take the baby into our panic room–” OF COURSE THEY HAVE A PANIC ROOM, “and channing will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookofff. you go save your man.”
CUT TO: vin getting geared up to go out and kick some mafia ass, entering their walk-in closet and grabbing GUNS and a BULLET PROOF VEST and lacing up his L.L BEAN MEN’S GORETEX LEATHER BOOTS.
vin takes out the entire warehouse-or-whatever of mafia lackeys and comes across dwayne tied up and blindfolded.
“who’s there!” dwayne demands, like he’s ready to fight despite himself. vin takes three strong steps forward and grabs him by the back of the head and pulls him in for a kiss. “guess who,” he replies. dwayne smiles.
just then the Final Boss shows up as dwayne is being untied and like, something dramatic happens or whatever, but it’s okay. they die or go to jail or something, it doesn’t really matter, because dwayne and vin are in LOVE and they’re gonna adopt the hell out of that baby.
CUT TO: a month later. Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o is disappointed when vin won’t accept his promotion.
“i would,” he says, heavily decorated for saving dwayne in the field and taking down the mafia family. “but the code of conduct says that it would be a conflict of interest if i was my husband’s supervisor.” BAM! THE END. THEY’RE MARRIED. WORLD PEACE UNLOCKED. DONALD TRUMP IMPEACHED. EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
This is relevant to all of my interests.
I love all of this.
ur fav is problematic: eric r. bittle
can’t make a goddamn cheesecake to save his life. he just can’t ok the top gets overcooked and the crust is soggy and he can’t fucking do it
pls i want to hear all bob-kent family headcanons
Didn’t anyone tell you to be careful what you wish for? Okay, fine, but you asked for it. Where do I start?
Kent and Bob officially first met at some team picnic thingthat the Zimmermanns do every year for Jack’s team before the season starts
Kent totally played it cool bycalling Bob “Mr. Zimm’s Dad”
“Son, I’ll have you know that I wasZimms before Jack was Zimms.”
Kent just calls him Mr. Z
By some twist of fate, the Zimmermanns ended up being Kent’s billet family
He would basically pick up all ofBob’s bad habits
Walking around the house in hisboxers
Eating dry cereal from the box
Feet on the coffee table
Kent laughs at Bob’s jokes, whichis a terrible development for Alicia and Jack.
Bob taught Kent a few basic cooking tips, like how to hold a knife and how to properly chop an onion
Bob tried to teach Kent how to juggle knives, but Alicia put a stop to that pretty quickly
Kent still can’t cook, but he asleast knows how to add pork, carrots, and celery to some top ramen to give itsome “pizzazz”.
(That’s Bob’s word. He keeps trying to make it stick, but it’sjust embarrassing for everyone, especially when he does the jazz hands)
Kent’s favorite food is Bob’s Lasagna
Seriously, he would sell hisStanley Cup Ring for a tray of that shit
Bob also makes the best sugar pieon the planet and this is ABSOLUTELY NOT UP FOR DEBATE
Bob was the first person Kent came out to.
He did it at the end of the season,the day before he was headed back to New York. He figured if things didn’t work out, he could just not come back.
Kent seriously thought aboutquitting because hockey wasn’t for “people like him”.
Bob squashed that idea pretty damn fastand gave Kent the biggest, warmest hug he’s ever known.
Kent cried like a baby
“So, is there someone on the teamyou like?” *nudge nudge*
Kent wouldn’t know the answer tothat for another year.
Bad Bob did NOT teach Kent how to drive. There are a couple of important reasons forthis:
Bob cannot drive. Yes, the government gave him a license, butyou do not want this man behind the wheel of a 1-ton vehicle.
Besides, he was too busy teachingJack.
Alicia teaches Kent how to drive,and this is why Kent can shift gears like he’s 2 Fast 2 Furious.
Kent accidentally calls him “Dad” exactly once.
The last thing Kent heard from Bob was a voicemail saying, “Thisis not your fault.”
Kent still has this saved on hisphone
Kent’s watch isn’t new. Bob sent it to him as a gift after the 2009 draft.
Engraved on the back, it says: YourTeam is Your Family. Familymeans nobody gets left behind or forgotten
(Jack has amatching watch, but he… didn’t keep it)
tfw your best brah is a beautiful nhl playing motherfucker
Ten Major Artists:
Wong Wong & Lulu
Pepper examining himself before commencing a self-portrait
Pepper’s self-portrait
Tiger the spontaneous reductionist
Misty goes off the wall
Minnie, the abstract expressionist
Minnie’s Reindeer in Provence, 1992.
Smokey painting after an hour in the catnip patch
Smokey at work
Ginger’s Stripped Bare Birds, 1992.
Princess, the elemental fragmentist
Charlie, the peripheral realist
this literally makes me so happy
