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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
DEAR READER
we're not kids anymore.

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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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@glitchedd-vandetta
Hey btw, here's a piece of life advice:
If you know what you'd have to do to solve a problem, but you just don't want to do it, your main problem isn't the problem itself. Your problem is figuring out how to get yourself to do the solution.
If your problem is not eating enough vegetables, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make vegetables stop being yucky". If your problem is not getting enough exercise, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make exercise stop sucking ass". You're not supposed to just be doing things that are awful and suck all the time forever, you're supposed to figure out how to make it stop being so awful all the time.
I used to hate wearing sunscreen because it's sticky and slimy and disgusting and it feels bad and it smells bad, so I neglected to wear it even if I needed to. Then I found one that isn't like that, and doesn't smell and feel gross. Problem solved.
There is no correct way to live that's just supposed to suck and feel bad all the time. You're allowed to figure out how to make it not suck so bad.
Jingyan is such a bitch 🥰🥰🥰
if you call a boy pretty and he blushes, wife him up.
I sit on the edge of the pond, my legs dipped into the water below and the cool water lapped on my feet, quenching the burning anger I held like coal. I ran from the house that forced my hand in a union that I did not want, the frustrations of betrayal from those I love burned holes in my throat. I swallowed them and the heat from my eyes. Is it my betrayal or theirs? I no longer know. I do not want to go back, I know not where is forward. The person on the other side of the veil was a tall man, his stature seemingly tall and menacing. He leaned over me the first time we met and I could smell the heat of his body near me, it stung my nose. I remembered wrapping my shawl tighter around my frame, forcing myself to fit into a smaller space. Good girls play the same game, a step outside of society, and it is an exile. Good girls dance to the tune of the patriarchy and sing the song of obedience. I either sing, or lose my voice forever.
do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared
All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.
The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.
And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life. (Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)
At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.
This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.
This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.
And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as “Men bodies with boobs slapped on.”
And then there is this:
Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.
And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.
And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.
TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.
YO. ALL OF THIS^. Michelangelo was hella grumpy all of the time. It was fantastic.
However, as beautiful as this commentary is, I’m gonna make a little correction. The Pope isn’t the one in hell getting his balls bitten; that guy is actually the Papal Minister of Ceremonies a the time, Biagio de Cesena.
See, when Michelangelo was painting this, as you said, lots of people were uncomfortable with all of the nudity (especially because the Last Judgement [back wall mural] was painted much later when nudity in religious art was even more controversial than before), but the dude who was the angriest was de Cesena.
He was so angry that he reportedly burst in on Michelangelo while he was working (which is already a big no-no because Michelangelo’s requirements for working were mostly “fuck the hell off and leave me alone or else I quit and I will stab you in the eye with my paintbrush/chisel”.). He then proceeds to tell Michelangelo that this fresco is disgusting and obscene and shame on him etc etc. He also referred to it as “i stui di nudi”, which means “A stew of nudes” which is one of the best descriptions of a thing ever, if you ask me.
So Michelangelo, probably on the cusp of homicide is like “Thank you for the notes. Now get the fuck out,” and de Cesena reluctantly does.
Later, he comes to see the finished product and finds that Michelangelo had painted his portrait down in Hell to represent the Minos, King of the Dead. He has the ears of an ass and the above described crotch biting snake:
Upon seeing this and being enraged, de Cesena went to the Pope to demand that it be changed and that Michelangelo be punished. However, the Pope was SO incredibly done dealing with Michelangelo’s snark, tantrums, and general hatred of the world and everyone in it, that he didn’t want to do shit.
The Pope’s response to him was literally to say “As Pope, I have a lot of influence on Earth and up in Heaven, but I have no jurisdiction in Hell. You’re shit out of luck.“
And it stayed.
Michelangelo, grade A artist, snark master, and professional dick.
My art hero right there lol
All of the above reasons are why I love Michelangelo with a passion.
Michelangelo, Patron Saint of Tired Artists
Ahh Michelangelo, my favourite bag of dicks painter
Men should take more lewds.
Not dick pics. There are so many beautiful parts of the human body that aren't genitals. Legs, butts, chest, arms, tummies, hips, shoulders...there's so much to feel sensual about!
Not even to send to anyone, I want men to just take photos for themselves. Just because it's validating. Just because they thought they looked good that day. To let their masculinity be something other than fragile. I want to see more men feeling sexy, striking a pose, and feeling good about their bodies in all the ways they've been robbed of.
Wow this is quickly becoming my biggest post. So many men have been reblogging, messaging, commenting or leaving notes in the tags about how much they needed this or how awful they've felt about their bodies. Or just, didn't realize they're allowed to feel like this.
Kings. My heart breaks for you. It's fucking hard to learn how to love your body, and I'm so, so, so proud of you for trying.
Hello! This is just a question about the tumblr platform in general. How come every time I try to upload a header image and profile picture, tumblr keeps making it go back to the default? It makes it hard to interact with people with a profile that looks like this. Is it because my profile has been flagged as explicit? I can't even preview what my new header and avatar look like and it's kind of frustrating :/
November 28, 2021: Sunday Morning
It sounds like your blog keeps getting marked as explicit.
I believe Tumblr currently functions so that you are able to host and reblog stolen porn, but will be marked explicit for doing so, which limits you in various ways, including reverting you to their basic icon as an indication that you are explicit.
If you try and post your own porn, they will simply terminate you.
So stolen porn is acceptable with stigma attached
Original porn is not acceptable
This is where I hang my social media hat, but I think the rules are fucking weird.
I'm gonna be thinking about this all day
If you deadname someone in the death note it kills you
it wasnt the LGBT community that brought back Minecraft and it wasn’t the neurodivergent community who brought it back, it was my 50 year old dad who made a replica of the 7 layers of hell from Dante’s Inferno in his survival world thanks
UPDATE:
APPARENTLY HE DIDNT JUST DO INFERNO, HE ALSO DID PURGATORY AND STARTED ON PARADISE
The thrilling conclusion:
IN AN EXCITING TURN OF EVENTS, IT TURNS OUT HE DID NOT DELETE DANTES MINEFERNO
he finished it in creative but hell was made completely in survival
i present to you: Dante’s Mineferno
op please upload this so we can all go through minecraft hell
"Hell was made completely in survival" is an excellent quote out of context
please for the love of god turn ur sound on
*boston accent* “It takes a pet like NO PRABLEM! Nat afraid at alll, Thats a great cat right there..”
Here he is all grown up!
His name is Maui and he still takes a pat like no phrawblem
But he’s still giving you the stink eye because he’s actually a New York bodega cat at Willy’s Deli in Brooklyn and you know how New Yorkers are about Bostonians
That’s a great cat right there
Also his whittle white peety paws 😍😍😍
I love how they’re evaluating him like a car
always reblog Maui, a great cat right there
theres a hole in the wall in my brothers’ room because they were fighting (for fun not anger) in there once and one of them knocked the other into the wall so hard his head made that hole, so they put two small skeletons in there for decoration
they tapped up the “décor” sign up because according to them the skeleton is named décor and the one underneath him is his husband. also worth noting that they found 2 dollars in there the other day
FVGBH;SXDCFVGNJNFKLEOI45UT6Y
I just love it when Décor the Skeleton finds his way back onto my dash
Insta/FB/Kofi
so can we start hunting down white liberals now or what
The full picture is even more heart breaking after you open the uncropped version. Just a heads-up, it's rough
“The Roman Catholic Parish in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan was just grafitted.”
Nah let’s post it. Let’s feel it. Don’t look away.
I notice alot of my followers on here skipping these posts just to mess with my lgbt ones, suspiciously the white popular ones.
Heres a not so friendly reminder, as an lgbt metis person, i dont give a single fuck what your blog is themed or if this is too painful for you to look at. Reblog this post. Reblog this post with the sources of the 751 children who were found.
Your compliance and silence as well as the compliance and silence of your ancestors is what allowed these schools to open and kill first nations children. The children of MY people.
Dont follow me if you cant reblog this post or the one with sources to your political blog or your most popular blog. Add trigger warnings if you must but if your political blog is only focused on the harms you personally face like being lgbt then you need to see some bigger pictures and stop being afraid of angering your racist mutural or actually saying some shit about racism. If you can reblog some antifa graphics or add blm to your bio to be a surface level ally, you can reblog some sources on the genocide first nations people faced and still face today.
They were CHILDREN.
They were murdered in cold blood.
I’d like to add this photo I took last night in Victoria of the statue of Captain Cook. Though I myself am not indigenous, I 100% agree that these murderers, kidnappers and rapists shouldn’t have huge statues and plaques that decorate them and say how “great” they were.
Here’s another photo of the legislative assembly from yesterday. Later on there were more items, candles and signs at the memorial, as well as a big poster with 1505 painted on it but I didn’t get a picture
People need to see this. Not just quickly glance at the photos and keep on scrolling. They need to see this.
Reblog this or just stop following me
I had seen the first picture of the church, but not the second.
I went to a “Cancel Canada Day” event and burst into tears - not because I was surprised to learn of the unmarked graves (survivors told us they were there. Our government pushed it aside, and we let them), but because seeing all the people gathered in mourning drove it home: They. Were. Children.
This is my country’s legacy - and it’s not history. The last schools closed during my lifetime. My Father went to school with students who lived at the local residential school, after it was changed to a boarding house (read: holding centre) for indigenous youth who went to local schools.
They were all children, injured, abused, and killed in my country’s attempt to erase them. I want the world to see this and hold the state accountable to *active* reconciliation> I mean we could at least truly adopt UNDRIP in action instead of words for god’s sake.
idk i wish we like... took a moment to just be sad about how a book series a lot of us really really loved turned out to have been written by an awful person?
like yes it has problematic themes but i wish we would stop pretending it always sucked and everyone who liked it was a dumb idiot. yes it’s not Literature (TM), it’s a children series, ok nu. but it was a really good children’s series and there were reasons everyone loved it.
a lot of us have lost an important part of our childhood because it’s tainted now and like. maybe we could or should just be sad about that and recognize we lost something.
also if people could stop yelling about how we’re stupid idiots with no taste because we liked children’s books when we were eight years old that would, like, be cool too
like if you were a kid who was abused or different or lonely the idea of being whisked away to a magical world was immensely compelling. the idea of having friends and finding out you were special and there was a reason you were being mistreated was immensely compelling.
on top of that the worldbuilding is genuinely immersive. it really felt to me like there was a world beyond the main characters and that’s something i rarely find in other books.
and yeah as an adult i can look at the goblins and rita skeeter and see how it’s all problematic but as a kid it all truly flew over my head. the goblins didn’t give me internalized antisemitism cause i did not realize they were pulling from jewish stereotypes. rita skeeter did not make me transphobic cause i straight up did not notice the parts about her physical body being “manly” until people pointed that out two years ago.
yeah as an adult i can read it and see a whole boatload of problematic stuff but it wasn’t actually always obvious and like. it could have gone differently. if jkr was a different person she could have apologized for all of this. or explained she hadn’t known better but now she does and that she’s sorry to the communities she hurt. there was a moment when i thought that was possible. now it’s obvious that it’s not, and i think i’m allowed to mourn that.
and i’m allowed to mourn that something that was incredibly important to me as a child and that i really loved is now irrevocably tainted. we all are. we don’t have to pretend it retroactively sucked and that we were all idiots for being nine-year-olds who wanted to escape our lives and found a means to do it vicariously. fuck, it’s sad enough that nine-year-olds wanted to escape their lives. but anyways we weren’t idiots, the books were good for their time and what they were. we genuinely lost something of value and it’s okay to mourn that.
Also, I get very tired of hearing "read any other book" - many potter fans were, and are, voracious readers. We have read and enjoyed other books; many of the books we read as children were marketed as "if you like Harry Potter..." at the time. Feeling grief over the betrayal of one author does not mean that you don't enjoy, or care deeply about, other books.
if you're invested enough in a book series that you feel the need to mourn when you find out the author's a bigot, your life went wrong somewhere.
you mean the part where i was literal six-year-old? no you’re right i should have just skipped right to adulthood
I mean, as noted in the posts above, for a lot of people who escaped into Harry Potter and other books so hard as children, their lives DID go very wrong somewhere. When the books were coming out, I knew more than one person who were suicidal teenagers who didn’t kill themselves because “but then I won’t find out how the books end”. So, you know, maybe don’t be a shithead about people having feelings about something that was important to them.
Yo, I am gonna add to this that I was a whole ass adult when the books came out and I got in right after book 3 was published (20 years old). And everyone who read books at my shitty ass office did, too. It's super easy to not catch the unethical tropes and bullshit. It was the yesr 2000 then and, frankly, these tropes were pretty standard and normal, especially in sf/f. Had no idea goblins were anti semetic because SO MANY other books and movies had the same goblins and it was just normal. That was 7 years of my life that going from book 3 to book 7 took. It was a HUGE cultural phenomenon. It became a thing - everyne would get their book on release day and then finish it sometime that week (or that day for some of us). JK Rowling didn't invent any of this stuff, we were just able to access her and watch her double-down and go extreme on it after the fact. But her books were SO SO POPULAR that we were even able to start having conversations about the issues in the mainstream- it's how I learned about the goblin thing.
That I went through high school and college as an absurdly voracious reader (I read the entire sf/f section at my library except for GRRM -LOL - and moved on to medieval literature and poetry, all before high school), was all over the AOL sf/f boards and had bookfriends on various BBSes... Read books about writing books and literary analysis for fun. Writing classes in college. And none of these issues, pretty stock and standard, ever came up. No one talked about them.
That the last book made me super mad made it easy to disengage and drop it is a stroke of luck for me, but there's no virtue in it. Ignorance is not a moral failing (willful ignorance is a different critter). You can't know what you don't know. Harry Potter happened. We learned a lot from it. People who are sad bc they learned it has these issues ARE GOOD PEOPLE. If they were bad as implied, they wouldn't be sad because they wouldn't care (at best).
My point being, being sad about it doesn't need to be justified by being a child or by trauma. Harry Potter happened, the whole world was obsessed. And those of us who do care learned a LOT from the experience. Yall need to learn to be fucking compassionate and understanding.
ty @stainedglassthreads for getting what i was trying to say in this post. i think a lot of people are interpreting this as “harry potter is great and it doesn’t matter if jkr is a terf, stop raining on my parade!” and like... it’s really the opposite of that. it’s about how in the midst of being angry with jkr those of us who loved her books can and should take a moment to be sad about having lost them, too.
Look, I'm not personally that invested in the Harry Potter series (I decided not to read any of the books until the final one had been released, and while I found them all broadly enjoyable, I never developed any sort of strong attachment to the Harry Potter universe), but—I find it absolutely wild that there's such an extreme backlash against people reckoning with their emotions upon finding out that an album, or book series, or film they loved has been tainted by the toxicity of its creator.
I mean, the comment that "if you're invested enough in a book series that you feel the need to mourn when you find out the author's a bigot, your life went wrong somewhere," is just so completely cold to me, because human beings generally turn to art for comfort, or for escapism, or for a sense of identity. We get lost in songs and stories and discover ourselves on the other side. We turn to books for solace when we're sad, and we make favourite songs into personal anthems when we need that extra bit of strength. And these things shape us. They become a part of ourselves. They're a thread through our memories, one of many pillars holding up who we are.
And discovering the creator of something that got you through the lowest point in your life, or inspired you to find your true self, or simply filled your childhood with joy and wonder... well, that can be crushing.
Somebody once sent me a clip from the Dead Authors podcast, in which Jewish actor Ben Schwartz, who had opted to be "interviewed" as his favourite childhood author, Roald Dahl, discovers—on stage—that his literary idol was actually a raging antisemite. "It would be pretty ironic if there was a kid, or a gentleman that was 32-years of age in 2014, whose favourite book might have been the BFG," Schwartz bemoans, clearly crushed by the revelation that his favourite author outright hated his guts. And I get it! Having to reconcile with the fact that a story or song which nurtured you, or brought you joy, or shaped your path in life, with the fact that its creator was downright horrible is difficult. It's going to make a lot of people feel sad and angry, or give them complex feelings. And that's fine. In fact: That's what you want to happen!
Because the alternative to this isn't "everyone drops anything found to be problematic like a hot potato, and that's it." No, that's simply not how most people's psyches operate. The actual alternative to letting people process their feelings of hurt and betrayal is a world where more people just refuse to acknowledge the problem in the first place. Where more people find reasons to excuse the creator, or just pretend they don't know about the person's flaws—because without a chance to go through the stages of grief for something that has a little home in their soul, greater numbers will opt for ignorance or denial.
Most people have real attachments to and real feelings about certain pieces of art. Maybe you don't, but most people do. And it's okay for them to process feelings of betrayal by a creator, or to mourn the meaning something once had for them. It's good. It's productive. It's how we grow as human beings—and that's the goal. That's how we create a better world: We feel, we process, we grow. If you're shutting that down or shaming people for that, then sorry, but you're not on the side you think you are.