Goblin. In Trenchcoat. Self-explanatory.

artist of various persuasions | he/him | late to the game | famous sock hater | blood faucet

[theunsubtleknife]

Sleeping poorly is so embarrassing... sorry im grumpy I stayed up past my bedtime. Like a toddler

[memento-meliora]

forced to say “it’s okay!” Instead of throwing a fucking chair at their head

[wateredwizard]

Why does your post have lingerie on

[memento-meliora]

God forbid a bitch be feeling herself while mentally ill in this economy 😢

[aroace-ryland-grace]

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

[austimpowerz]

MOODBOARD FOR WHEN SHIT IS FUCK

[laqueus]

[transmechanicus]

Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.

[transmechanicus]

Experienced people eater weighing in with the most galaxy brain option

[irate-iguana]

I love it when a classicist has clearly gotten so lost in the BCE sauce that their perception of time has become deeply warped. Case in point: the article I’m currently reading just described the Byzantine era as “a period relatively modern.”

[mockiatoh]

Stop that’s too funny

[ivy-michaels]

putting on the high vis corset and running in front of cars across a dark country road like a deer

[randomitemdrop]

Item: Corset of Visibility

[obscurelocalstranger]

[fittingoutjane]

Pair this with a black skirt and boots, and you, too can be a Visigoth.

[the-haiku-bot]

Pair this with a black

skirt and boots, and you, too can

be a Visigoth.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[nynehells]

YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART

[lokaror]

GOUGAR CLAIMS COOL ROCK

[ubersaur]

God forbid women do anything

[justpastsaturn]

She had a good time, too

[seren-starlight]

Person who makes coffee incorrectly: You can't make a cup of coffee without breaking a few eggs

[smute]

elizabeth holmes has been spotted soaking lady fingers in a clear colorless liquid. sources close to the entrepreneur claim she is working to "revolutionize tiramisu" by using just a few drops of coffee diluted in water. early testers described the result as tasting "like shit." undeterred, holmes insists that a breakthrough is imminent. her company, theramisu, is currently valued at $150.

[pictures-of-dogs]

cannonball!

[bwaah]

do I have to do everything myself around here

[ckret2]

[hypotenussy]

"what that's just a picture of a fla-" *see the guy sitting on it* "OH FUCK OFF."

[haberdashing]

if you computter keyboard is working properly ight now, withoutt any keys sticking or efusing to type letters properly, you should ake a momentt and be grateful for that fact. enjoy tthe blessings of having a functional compue keyboard. because, as you perhaps have gleaned fm thtis very text post, not all of us are able ot take such litttle luxuries forr grranted...

[brynnamonroll]

I'm so endeared by the French term for a stray cat being "chat errant." This implies the existence of a stray knight. Or that a chat errant is searching for noble purpose.

[berrycobbler]

it's so hardcover –> we're so paperback

[librarylurker]

this post is making me pronounce hardcover in a way i never considered

[probablybadrpgideas]

"Would you like to take this damage, or double it and give it to the next person?"

­