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Keni
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@goddamnthelambcat
So i hear you like snakes. How do you feel about hognose snakes? Ever heard of them?
Yes, they are fun and adorable and silly
This is their best defense. Rolling over,pretending to be dead with their mouth agape. Basically their the possums of the snake world.
And if you flip them they violently roll back over because NO IM DEAD
You can’t just say that without providing a clip of what it looks like, it’s hilarious
STOP IT I’M DEAD
NO FUCK YOU I’M DEAD
I was half-expecting that this would be one of those “US is comical outlier” charts.
It’s only the rich and people in power who want things to remain the same. Knock them out of their towers and we’re golden.
that uniquely american cultural drive to preserve the corpse after death…. utterly horrid I tell you
embalming as standard practice… ‘protective caskets’… waterproof burial vaults… folks there is no fucking point
not to go all Anti Capitalist here but like. making people feel like they’ve ‘failed’ their dead loved ones if they don’t put their chemically preserved corpses in a multi-thousand dollar hermetically sealed vault is absolutely fucking ghoulish the whole industry is built around taking advantage of grieving families. like it’s such a morbid topic but for real normalize decay… normalize the idea that a corpse, while an incredibly important thing, is temporary and isn’t meant to exist forever… normalize the transience of the body… also fuck every person who’s ever tried to wring money out of a grieving person by convincing them to by a fucking. waterproof burial vault. man
a fun new conversation I get to have with customers at my work is when they pull up to the window and ask why the drive-thru line is taking so long, and I say “sorry, I’ve got 3 people doing 7 people’s jobs right now” and they say “well why aren’t there more of you there, this is ridiculous” and I say “everyone else who was scheduled is currently under quarantine because they tested positive”. and the customer says “but you weren’t exposed to the people that have it, right?” and I say “no I saw them yesterday because they weren’t allowed to call out until they had a confirmed case,” and the customer says “well then you shouldn’t be serving me!” and I go “haha, I know right? anyway that stupid drink you saw on tiktok is going to cost you 8 dollars”
another fun conversation is when they pull up to the window (not wearing a mask because no one ever does in the drive thru) and I ask if they’re doing anything fun today (because according to retail companies customers are very much like newborns in that if you’re not watching them carefully and making sure they’re entertained the entire time they’re in your line of sight they might choke on their own spit-up and die) and they reply “no, I actually just had to go and get tested and it TOTALLY sucked, so I thought I’d treat myself afterward and come here”. and then they smile as if there’s nothing wrong with that. and I can see their smile through the completely lack of a mask they’re wearing. and I close the window and walk away.
shoutout to whichever brave soldier called the health department on my district and got me put into two overlapping quarantines thanks to multiple exposures
ideal existence
Imagine never being late to anything
yall look at this shit ad*be is tryna pull now on ppl who have outdated software:
(note for context: i’m all for piracy, but in this case my copy of CS6 was downloaded years ago when they were giving it away to students. i got it totally legally.)
so here is what NOT to do if you’re a loyal fan of adobe who has the cash to shell out for a newer and shittier version of the product you already paid for.
1) DON’T use your search bar to find and open the Run app
2) DON’T type in services.msc
3) DON’T find Adobe Genuine Software Integrity Services and right-click to get a dropdown menu, and don’t select ‘properties’
4) if you happen to click properties, DON’T use the startup type dropdown to locate the option to disable the program. be sure you DON’T click apply to finalize that change.
5) DO NOT do the same thing in order to also disable Adobe Genuine Software Monitor
if you do all of these things, this WILL disable adobe’s ability to monitor the software, and you will be forced to continue using the same older software that you already paid for instead of having to sign up for a newer, shittier version and pay more for it. so if you have lots of cash to spare and are cool with putting it the pockets of racketeering capitalists, definitely don’t do any of these things.
however, you SHOULD reblog this to spread the word, as we certainly want to make sure lots of people know what NOT to do :)
I’M SORRY MA'AM. I KNOW YOU’RE UPSET.
Pretend to be upset.
OP how could you
I hope none of my friends who use Adobe programs find this, follow your detailed instructions, and spread the word. That would be devastating!
I think about this cake every day
sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious
This is still one of the best executed jokes I’ve ever seen
Current fascination: Pieni Merenneito//Finnish National Ballet
Composed by Tuomas Kantelinen, Choreographed by Kenneth Greve
Me: …The hell is it called the ‘drawing room’ for? Was drawing really such a wide-spread hobby, and if so, why do I never see any art equipment in the reconstructions of any of these rooms?
Historian, curator and documentary presenter Dr Lucy Wosley: Actually it was originally called the ‘withdrawing room’, as in the place one withdrew to, and where only family and important guests were allowed to enter. The name got shortened over time.
Me: Oooooohhhh
wait, so all those scenes where people are invited into the ‘drawing room’ are actually a declaration of intimacy and close friendship or otherwise close ties / importance?
a report by the university of texas at austin came out showing that 80% of people who died in texas jails from covid were not convicted of a crime, 73% of those who died were eligible for parole, and that deaths occurred at 115% the national rate (x)
reminder that criminals don’t deserve death either.
If you are in jail, it means you are awaiting trial. That means 73% of the people in jail had no prior criminal record and since they were up for parole, it means it was most likely a nonviolent charge that either A) wouldn’t have sent them to prison or B) would have been a sentence under 5 years. These people shouldn’t have died
what if oregon trail was called wagon age: oregons
This made me so angry the first time I saw it I’m reblogging it again.
Yoooooooooooooooooo!
Yoooooooooooooooooo!
Wow. The patience, kindness and calm communication skills. Outstanding.
From raindovemodel
This made me cry. I wish all situations could be handled as perfectly as this
I just want to point out the core of what the diffuser did in this conversation
They recognized that the mother was also expressing a vulnerable truth about herself - that she felt like a bad mother because her child was expressing gender feelings she wasn’t equipped to help with - and met her where she was, a concerned parent with limited information - to point her where she should be heading, research and resources.
Im going to make more of an effort to stop reflexively pushing people away when they express biases and make more of an effort to hear the underlying fears when i can
“it’s easier to love ourselves when we feel loved as ourselves”
damn that is so powerful though
God this always makes me tear up ahaha…
This is SO BRILLIANT. I wish I were this calm and collected.
This is a great example of diffusing a situation and guiding someone towards understanding, but to be very clear it is not the responsibility of trans people to be polite and patient with people who are coming in angry and offensive. I don’t care how well it changes their worldview or builds acceptance. there is an endless supply of bigots and you don’t have to coddle any of them
i remember being like 11 and asking my dad why he hunts and kills deer and he said “because i think theyre beautiful” and that’s just. that’s just what men are like
Yeah… &?
Is it any different that women seeing cute things & wanting to squish their face?
Is killing different than endearing physical contact? Local man unsure
I really like … many aspects of hunting. And I think animals are beautiful. may I present
What is the point of mounting something like this sad, gross, proof that you will end a beautiful life for no good reason….
when you could frame you up a trophy like the photo below !?
This takes at least as much skill, and involves all the same wilderness stalking. It proves that you are both brave AND compassionate. There’s no downside to doing this instead. Imagine you go to somebody’s home, and they have a trophy room filled with beautifully composed close up photos of wolves and deer and boar and eagles and things all over the walls, with a couple camera guns mounted up there too - on one wall is a photo of a standing bear who obviously sees the person taking the photo and it’s been blown up so the bear is life size (that’s why you need that gun-barrel lens, so the quality holds up when you enlarge the pic) The person you are visiting is like, “yeah, I took all these.” THAT’s impressive. A room full of dead things just means they are weird and gross and pointlessly cruel and proud of it.
My dad goes out into the woods and takes pictures all the time. He still calls it “hunting” and when he comes home, he literally says “Hey, look at what i shot!” So doing this allows not only for great photos and time with nature, but also an A+ Dad Joke.
I’m not against hunting for food, and I’m mostly neutral on making a trophy from an animal you hunted for food, but I completely agree that hunting purely for sport is pretty fucked up.
