Gratuitous but Necessary

[chaendeulleo]

Hyrule’s princess and most wanted criminal

[alltears]

dragon age twt au? dragon age twt au. HAWKE X INQUISITION EDITION

sorry for not spacing these out more but i have worms infesting my brains and they’re all sending me psychic attacks related to dragon age.

[kissymeowmeow]

i love reading the reviews for disco elysium because it's like

⭐️ - genuinely the most dogshit game i've ever played in my entire life. i clicked the options for my politics and it called me a fascist fucking stupid commies i hate you i hate you i hate y

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - kim made me so horny i had to do breathing exercises to calm down

⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2 - i died from the chair

[cpericardium]

[ampervadasz]

[terribletlg]

That paw tap did it

[petermorwood]

Don't make me tap the sign (again).

[ruinedchildhood]

When he realized red is the good part of the watermelon.. 😅

[reality-detective]

A male pufferfish tries to impress potential mates with his masterpiece. ✨

[morellygay]

[marthajefferson]

the origin of the letter 🇦

(from the documentary The Odyssey of the Writing, 2020)

[ecology-of-the-inhuman]

Documentary is called “The Secret History of Writing” done by BBC

[theheartspeaksloudest]

https://youtu.be/hbmyXjqXlEY

[weaselle]

this has always fascinated me. I first learned it about 25 years ago, and ever since, every time I see a capital letter A  a tiny voice inside me goes “bull!” 

[petermorwood]

Fun to see an actual scholarly version of this, because I first read it as explained (-ish) by one of Kipling’s “Just So Stories” a very, very long time ago…

[mischief-marauders]

Bruno in the walls watching everyone harmonize about how much they hate him:

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[evilwizard]

me: *covered in scratch marks* i am still a powerful and respectable wizard, you know

my imp krongus: *doubtfully* yes, my lord

me: i did eventually kill the mouse with a needle for a sword

krongus: it’s just that it was so close, my lord

[elvenforestwitch]

In honor of me starting my fifth playthrough in the past three years, and second just this year

[scheidungsgrund]

from twitter user deejaygeejaygee

[galecstatic]

it just gets better

and better

[goingonanadventuremaybe]

[funnyfroge]

[lithiumseven]

Frodo: *stabbed by an immortal blade*

The Hobbits: What do we do Mr. Strider

The Hobbits: *looking to this big scary mountain man so intimidating and mysterious they don’t even know his real name*

Aragorn, truly just some guy at heart: I’m gonna call my dad

[memewhore]

[gotossmycausticsalad]

Favourite part of God of War: Ragnarok is when a character is having a dramatic moment of great personal growth and significance and Kratos is just standing there in the background dutifully holding up a severed head so it can get a good view.

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]