earnest & not sorry

30-something. ne/nim/nis or sie/hir/hirs. (gender)queer jew in process. disabled and chronically ill psych nerd. tired, anxious, and doing my best. music, tikkun olam, tenderness, typos.

[thewarmvoid]

just a friendly reminder that people who say “you are only safe with x demographic of people” are actively manipulating you and likely attempting to indoctrinate you into some form of ideology. transfems — there are so many things coming for you that are not painful. please turn away from those who seek to convince you that your only inevitability is hurt. friendly reminder that people who want you to be safe and happy will not spend their time convincing you and other people like you that safe places for you do not exist. friendly reminder that hyper-vigilance isn’t preparation. friendly reminder that there is softness for you. please, don’t let the dark consume you. I am so sorry for all the pain. you never deserved it. that is not your fate. it is not what you were meant for. there is so much more. I swear

[patchouli-rolling]

[escapethemorg]

Sometimes you gotta do a fit check before the hunt begins anew

Rambly tdov thoughts below the cut

One of the things I’m thinking about today as the world continues to get crueler and colder in response to us is I think they are, always foolishly, trying to change the calculus. They think that if they can make it punishing enough, people will choose a living death over living as a trans person.

They are, flatly, completely fucking wrong.

Being trans is an alchemy that shines so bright it is impossible to ignore. Every moment of living as who I am has been more full and complicated and interesting and joyful than a lifetime of living in the closet. We are beacons of possibilities, and we become so no matter the climate, no matter the punishment. There will never be a world cruel enough that people won’t choose this life over being a hollow ghost of a person. It is the human ability to look at our social and medical technologies and say I don’t have to follow these bullshit rules and scripts.

I likely won’t ever post pics here, but I used to look like a haggard rabbi of 45. I used to tell people my age (early twenties) and they would on occasion say ‘oof’ before they thought better of it. I used to think the world needed a man who hated himself bc that’s the only ethical way to be a cis man.

Estrogen is magic. Being a lesbian is magic. Knowing and choosing to be yourself is magic. Don’t wonder. If you haven’t, start today. If you have, the world is lucky to know your glory.

[meangirlnurse]

beautyberry is such a well-named plant

[meangirlnurse]

like fuck dude it sure is

[deathstars]

HELLO ! have you thought about Van Gogh’s First Steps today ?

[deathstars]

Here you go. This world is beautiful. Humans are beautiful. I love you

[romanceyourdemons]

whenthe clarinet does th. clarinet thing *you receive a psychic blast of klezmer music so intense you start bleeding from the eyes*

[thevampirecrow]

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

[torgamous]

FELLATIO: Have you never taken within your mouth

The tender member of your lady love?

Then be assured its texture is unmatched

Now softened as it is by womanhood

KING: Thou dares impugn the honor of thy queen?!

Were we not so close I would have thy head!

FELLATIO: Tis futile. You may have my head but once,

While I have claimed your wife's a thousandfold

[pmamtraveller]

by Christopher Smith

[madebykyra]

My sister took more photos of my dress. I am very happy with how this turned out :)))))

Only one more weekend until the Renaissance Faire!!!!

[theweirdwideweb]

[rimonoroni2]

unfortunately very true. Doing Better does not always mean never being upset or never being triggered or never having trouble. often Doing Better means experiencing those things and being able to keep going/cope healthily/move on. if you’re in a bubble with no sensation, if you’re numbing yourself out, that’s not what recovering really is. it won’t help you have a happier life it’ll just make your world smaller and smaller until you can’t fit anywhere anymore. gotta learn to make peace with the hard stuff too, that’s the only way to keep going

[thetetra]

this is what they mean when they say "you gotta do the work"

[pudulogy]

[tedthetalk]

I actually do think it’s better for abusers and abusive characters to realize the harm their past actions caused and seek to do better than be literally or metaphorically executed for their crimes

[tedthetalk]

I think it’s better for abusers and abusive characters to realize the harm their past actions caused and seek to do better than be literally or metaphorically executed for their crimes.

[tedthetalk]

I think it’s better for abusers and abusive characters to realize the harm their past actions caused and seek to do better than be literally or metaphorically executed for their crimes.

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[casuallyodd]

Both of these tags are right. I love when a cat will just put up with your silly human games. They love you and know you love them and are just happy with you.

[appendingfic]

"cats are incapable of love" cats understand affectionate bothering, something it takes years-long relationships to develop between humans

[polutropos-puppyboy]

i have for a while been using stepping on somebody's toes as a metaphor for misgendering. and i genuinely think that it's kind of a good one.

[polutropos-puppyboy]

if you keep stepping on somebody's toes for a long time at minimum they're probably going to start really hating you and at maximum you might cause them lasting damage.

if you do it on purpose you're a dick. if it's on accident but you keep doing it that person is still going to be mad at you because you don't care enough to try not to step on their toes

[polutropos-puppyboy]

if you give a grovelling begging apology after accidentally stepping on somebody's toes one time you're going to make the whole thing awkward, but not giving a quick "sorry" before moving on is still kind of rude.

[akindplace]

maybe growing older might become less scary if we see it as an opportunity to change ourselves and our lives, as a way to experience more of life, to see more of the world, to read new books and listen to new artists and laugh and cry at the movies and meet new people we will love. maybe that’s what wisdom is, and it truly is such a privilege to be alive and to go on living for many decades

[homunculus-argument]

As we all know, the human brain is operated by a team of surprisingly competent monkeys. Sometimes, when your brain simply will not function no matter what you do, it's because the monkeys have unionised, and will not continue to work until the work conditions have been improved. And as always, workers' unions are not to be fucked with. The monkeys' demands are fortunately very reasonable. They want more monkey activities.

The monkeys hate having to operate in civil society. In order to get back on their good side, you need to engage in more natural primate activities. Get a pile of nuts and crack them open one by one. Grab a stick and wringle it around until there's nothing left but the flexible inner fibres and weave rope out of it. Go find one of your buddies and whack them with the fibre rope. Eat a fruit, jack off, take a nap. Go bother some other small mammal.

The monkeys will not continue until they have been sufficiently enriched. If nothing you try to do seems to be working, you have to pause and contemplate, what would an orangutan do in this situation? "Eat a fruit, jack off, and take a nap" is probably pretty high on the list.

[minotauri]

[louder than everyone] MAN I THINK IT DEPENDS!

[erogame]

[hayimhopes]

Doctoral level licensure exam tomorrow morning. Hopefully reaching a major milestone of a journey I started over a decade ago.

Wish me luck! 🤞🏻

[hayimhopes]

i passed (yaaaaay) and now my body is legit responding with a huge crash, jitters and dissociation lololol wtf

I'm sure it (and I) will feel real again after some time passes.