I resent just how fucking accurate this shitpost is, congratulations OP, you effectively illustrated how Darwinâs Theory of Natural Selection became accepted by the wider public using a FUCKING MUPPETS MEME, here is your A+, get the hell out of my office
iâve warmed up significantly towards the concept of small talk ever since i learned that its sole purpose is to make friendly noises.
as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. itâs just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. weâre small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, âiâm not here to hurt you. hereâs something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know weâre on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. iâm being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.â
small talk isnât to get to know a person. itâs just a greeting to affirm youâre buddies in the universe.
i am motivated by wanting the other person to know i am friendly, so i have gotten pretty decent at small talk when i used to hate it.
I think Joan of Arc's fursona would be a dog called Joan of Bark, but my partner thinks it would be a phoenix, which seems insensitive to me, but neither of us are furries, so I guess we don't really get a say either way.
I promise Iâm not trying to be pretentious here.
Jeanne dâArcâs last name is dâArc. An overly-literal translator insisted it stood for âof Arcâ, and thatâs why we know her as Joan of Arc. At the time, she was more commonly known as âJeanne la Pucelleâ, meaning âJoan the Maidenâ or âJoan the Virginâ.
anyways since her main attack strategy was âhit them until they stop movingâ I think sheâd be a gorilla.
The thing about food and eating is that I think very very few people just have like. Fully normal and healthy relationships to it. And all of the Huntrix girls have different kinds of weirdness to whatâs up with them even given that someone (Celine) has done her best to make sure that they are able to eat despite the standards of the kpop industry
This is in part because Celine herself had a severe eating disorder as a younger person, and while sheâs recovered to the point where she understands that what was happening with her and the other Sunlight Sisters was Not Okay and she really really wants to make sure that it never happens with her girls, she⊠has some weird ideas about what food is Okay and Healthy and Safe for her especially and about how to get people to eat in general
Which is why Rumi is the most chill around food but also does just kinda treat it as a necessity sometimes. She heard âfood is fuel and you should give your body what it needsâ constantly growing up, and so like she doesnât do messed up âfood as rewardâ or âfood as overindulgenceâ viewpoints really but
She will just get disconnected from her body and forget to take care of it. Or sometimes, eventually, lowkey avoid taking caring of it. Because fuck it, sheâs not a machine, she doesnât need to be in perfect shape, why not go on an insane spiral and do something that sucks the whole way down instead?
For Zoey, itâs not the âwhat is having a bodyâ autism as much (though that does happen to her), but the âI have sensory issues and food is An Experienceâ autism
Of course, itâs not like she can say that she doesnât like mushrooms or that the texture of rice turns into something Evil the moment itâs even a little overcooked or she just finds lentils really very unpleasant. She canât be picky and cause problems and make someone make a special meal just for her
(Her parents had a tendency to lash out. Maybe. Just a little. Itâs fine! Sheâs not going to be a problem! Itâs fine!)
Getting Zoey to express an opinion about food is a level four friendship achievement
Mira, meanwhile, grew up in the dance world, and so that came with a lot of bodyshamingâboth from her teachers (too tall, anyone with an ounce of fat on them was fat (derogatory)) and from her family (too muscular, not feminine enough, etc)âand a lot of pushes towards restricting how much she ate and what foods were acceptable
When she moves in with Rumi and Celine, sheâs very surprised to find that suddenly the attitude on food is not âlet us control that heavilyâ and instead âyeah youâre doing a lot of work you need a lot of that so of course weâre making things with lots of nutrients in them for meals! You should feel free to get a snack whenever you want!â and, in classic Mira fashion, is probably the one whoâs most worked through her existing issues to get more comfortable and healthy around food and in her body
sometimes people experiencing psychosis and/or mania will come up to you on the street and talk in confusing or upsetting ways. your job is to either have a regular human-to-human conversation with that person or politely leave. your job is not to call 911. do not call 911. you might kill that person if you call 911.
I don't even have the energy to screenshot and respond to your tags- what the actual fuck is wrong with you? "the cops are scared and rightfully so" "mental health calls are the scariest for cops" OH so this isn't about the safety of psychotic & manic people this is about piggy feelings?
and no, actually, this is not USA specific and no, actually, people from other countries should not ignore this post. police violence and sanism weren't invented in the US and they are certainly not unique to here. if you (or anyone) thinks that this bullshit doesn't happen elsewhere then you are not listening.
This is legitimately useful reframing. A while ago I started replacing the word "cop" in my vocabulary with "a man with a gun." It really puts things into perspective.
This homeless person is making me uncomfortable. Should I call [a man with a gun]?
My neighbor is having a loud party. Should I get [a man with a gun] involved?
There are some teenagers skateboarding. Do you think [a man with a gun] would get rid of them for me?
It makes it very clear what you're saying. I can call a man with a gun to threaten or hurt someone mildly inconveniencing me. You're not calling the cops, you're calling A MAN WITH A GUN into a situation that does not warrant a firearm handled by a volatile lunatic who will not be held accountable for his actions.
Hello, I really like your work! I was wondering if you could write about wandanat x reader where during a mission reader gets hurt and looses their memory for long time? could it also be super fluffy? thank you
Amnesia
ScarletWidow x Reader
[A/N] I'm normally good at getting fics queued but this has been a hard week for writing for some reason - at the minute no fics are queued for this weekend and it's been a busy one so you might not see anything until Monday đ„ș Loved this request so much, hope you enjoy đ
âHow much does she remember?â Natasha asks. âShe canât have forgotten everything.â
âAccording to Dr Cho, they forgot their own name,â Maria says in that calm, soothing voice. âThey panicked and had to be sedated. Theyâre awake now and calm but obviously quite confused and upset.â
âSo they donât remember us?â Wanda asks in a disbelieving voice.
Maria shakes her head, âThey donât even remember themselves.â
Natasha canât pretend she isnât angry but she knows her focus needs to be on your recovery right now. She tries to match Mariaâs even tone, âAnd do we know if theyâll get their memory back?â
âItâs not clear. Anything could trigger a memory; a sound, a smell, but itâll become clearer with time I guess.â
Youâd been sent on your first solo mission and this was how it had ended. Natasha and Wanda had received word that youâd been rushed to an intensive care unit after hitting your head. Your mission had mostly been over; youâd just been helping the last few civilians out of the crumbling building when it had collapsed. As youâd runaway youâd been hit by some debris, knocking you unconscious. The rescued civilians had managed to remove the wreckage from on top of you until medics could arrive on the scene. There had been a few sleepless nights whilst Natasha and Wanda worried about your fate until theyâd finally received the news theyâd been waiting for â you were awake.
It had come at a cost though and Natasha feels stupid now for thinking otherwise. Everything comes with a cost. You were awake but were you still you if you couldnât even remember who you were? This shouldnât have been allowed to happen, someone should have been sent with you. Natasha silently seethes. Maria sees the look on her face and sighs, âTheyâre alive. Thatâs the main thing.â
After being prepped by Maria theyâre finally allowed through to the medbay to see you â youâd been transferred from the intensive care unit back onto a regular ward, and you smile self-consciously as your girlfriendsâ walk in. Natasha takes a seat at your bedside, reaching out to take your hand, âHey⊠How are you doing?â
âIâm okay,â You reply quietly.
Your hand feels awkward in Natashaâs but she doesnât let go. Wanda stands behind her, smiling bravely at you. âDo you⊠Do you remember who we are?â
You hesitate and then shake your head with another self-conscious smile, âIâm sorry.â
âItâs okay,â Natasha reassures you, stroking her thumb over your knuckles. âMaria told us youâre having trouble remembering things right now.â
You nod, not entirely sure who Maria is. Youâve met too many people in quick succession and youâre struggling to figure out whoâs meant to mean something to you, and who youâre just meeting whilst youâre in hospital. Given the way Natasha is holding your hand, and Wandaâs soft expression as she gazes at you, you figure that these two are important. Theyâre the first people who havenât come in to talk specifically about your condition, but rather just to see you. âWho are you?â
âIâm Natasha, and this is Wanda.â Natasha glances up at Wanda, not sure how much information to give you right now. She doesnât want to overwhelm you or make you feel uncomfortable. âIf you have any questions, you can ask us. We know you better than anyone.â
âItâll be interesting to see if your opinions have changed without your memories,â Wanda says, trying to keep things light for your sake. âLike how you hate tomatoes but donât mind tomato sauce.â
âOr how you hate wearing socks in bed but you have to wear your slippers everywhere because you donât like your bare feet against the carpet.â
âOr how you canât go anywhere without your headphones, even though weâve warned you itâs dangerous to walk around listening to loud music.â
Both of them watch your expression carefully, hoping for a glimmer of recognition. When thereâs none, Natasha just smiles, squeezing your hand, âItâs okay. Weâll help you, we promise.â
âI do have a few questions,â You say. âWhere are my family?â
âWeâre your family,â Wanda says, wondering how much to tell you. âWeâre⊠Your girlfriends, we have been for about two years now.â
Youâd been an Avenger for three years, getting together with them after one year into your work. As a child, your parents had been killed by Kingpin and his gang. Growing up in the system had made you angry and bitter, and youâd sworn revenge. After a failed attempt to take Kingpin down, youâd been taken in by the Avengers, based on Natashaâs personal recommendation. Sheâd recognised that anger and need for justice, it was something sheâd felt her entire life.
âEveryone here in the Avengers is your family too,â Natasha says. âWeâre like one big extended family.â
Having a found family had done wonders for you. As had having a permanent place to call home. One night youâd confided to Natasha and Wanda that youâd been moved twelve times as a kid, âWhich doesnât sound like a lot when I say it like that,â Youâd said in the dark as youâd lain in between them, your voice catching. âBut it felt like I got used to one place and then was whisked away to the next with no warning. Then I had to get used to the next set of parents and potentially siblings. Sometimes there was even a new school to get used to. It felt never ending.â
âNo oneâs gonna whisk you away ever again,â Wanda had said, her arm wrapping around your waist as she kissed your cheek. âWeâre your family now, and this is your home. Forever.â
âYou share a room with me and Wanda,â Natasha says now. âBut if youâre not comfortable with that we could always set up the spare room or something.â
âWeâll figure it out as we go,â Wanda says. âThereâs no pressure. Just go at your own pace. No rush.â
Itâs a further two days before youâre finally discharged from the medbay. During that time all of the other Avengers come through to check how youâre doing, reintroducing themselves. Natasha and Wanda watch carefully, making sure that nobody lies to you or makes fun of you, but everyone seems to take your amnesia seriously, greeting you with sincerity. Kate and Yelena spend a couple of hours with you, reteaching you a board game that you always loved playing with them. Wanda joins in whilst Natasha watches, not the biggest fan of board games. Sam brings through his speakers so that Wanda and Natasha can play you some of your favourite songs, to see if those spark any recognition. Steve has the sense to bring through a photo album, letting you flip through the photos that had been taken of the team. Most of them were posed photos, from parties or âteam buildingâ days. Youâd had a lot of questions and Steve, Natasha and Wanda had been happy to answer them all.
You step into the bedroom you share with the two of them, looking around. You and Natasha had never really been sure how to decorate the space, whilst Wanda had been the absolute expert. There were photos, posters, art prints all hung up along the walls with warm, white fairy lights. You run your fingers over a photo of the three of you taken at the last Halloween party. Wanda wraps her arms around your waist, âHalloween is your favourite holiday.â
âYou always insist that we have to dress up for training,â Natasha says with a smile. âAnd when we protested, you were like âwell if you can kick ass dressed as a gingerbread man, you can kick ass any time.ââ
âNone of us ever did dress as a gingerbread man, so Iâm not sure why you used that as an example but you got your point across.â
Wanda sees that you look a little uncomfortable so she takes a step back, running an awkward hand through her hair. You and Wanda have always been quite touchy, always wanting to hold hands or wrap your arms around each other. Natasha would too but not as often, whereas you and Wanda were always reaching out for each other. It wasnât unusual to find you both cuddled up whenever you had to sit down â on the couch, in bed, even on the bus sometimes much to Natashaâs playful annoyance.
Natasha sees Wandaâs expression and smiles encouragingly, âI have an idea. Letâs go on a first date.â
âWhat do you mean?â You ask, turning to look at them both.
âWell, you donât remember us. And maybe youâve changed since the accident so letâs get to know each other again. We can fall in love with each other all over again.â
âThat sounds like fun,â You say. âOkay. Letâs go on a first date.â
Two years ago your first date had been a picnic so Natasha and Wanda decide to recreate that. After all, it had worked the first time. It was actually you whoâd asked them both out the first time, something Natasha had found hilarious. âYou canât ask us both out,â Sheâd said. âYouâll have to pick.â
âSays who?â Youâd retorted. âI like you both. Maybe Iâll have chemistry with just one of you, or maybe both of you, or even none of you. Why donât we find out?â
So theyâd gone along with you and had been surprised to find that the three of you did have good chemistry. After six months of dating youâd all made it official, and moved all your things into the same room in the compound. Youâd had to badger Tony for a week straight to give you all the biggest bedroom the compound had. It also had the best view, looking out over the grounds.
For the past week youâd slept in the guest room, a decision that Natasha and Wanda understood even if it did break their hearts. They were spending most of the day with you, slowly reintroducing you back into training and the hobbies that youâd previously enjoyed. Youâre struggling to remember your way around the compound, something that keeps making you a bit tearful. Youâd gotten lost heading from the gym to the kitchen to fetch yourself a glass of water. Youâd let Wanda hug you as you cried into her shoulder, hating that you couldnât remember somewhere that felt like home.
Wanda and Natasha felt familiar too but you were still self-conscious around them. It was difficult being surrounded by people who knew you so well, but who were effectively strangers to you. Everyone was kind but all that shared history was just⊠Gone for you.
They take you to central park, and Natasha lays out the picnic blanket whilst Wanda weighs down each corner, setting the picnic basket down in the middle. Wanda had prepared all of the food, not trusting Natasha with any of it. When youâd asked to get involved, sheâd spent the morning making cookies with you, and now you were excited for both women to sample them. They both laugh when you try a tomato, âjust to seeâ, and then immediately scrunch your nose up.
âYouâre still you then,â Natasha says fondly. âI saw you wearing your slippers last night.â
âYeah, you guys were right about the carpet, I donât like it.â
They both laugh and the date continues easily. Natasha and Wanda are sure you must feel the chemistry too â theyâre relieved to find it hasnât gone even though youâve lost your memory. You smile proudly when Natasha and Wanda declare your cookies âthe best ones theyâve ever hadâ. Once the date is over and everythingâs packed away, you donât pull away when Wanda takes your hand to walk back to the compound. Instead your thumb strokes over her knuckles the way you always used to do and Wanda smiles to yourself. Yep, youâre definitely still you.
âHey,â Steve says gently. âAre you lost again?â
You nod, frustrated tears in your eyes. Itâs been a couple of months now and you still keep getting lost around the compound. Youâve just had an appointment with Dr Cho in the medbay who told you that your short time memory might also be affected. âYouâll learn the layout of the building eventually when it transfers to your long-term memory,â Sheâd said. âAnd then hopefully youâll be able to start going out by yourself.â
It made you feel like a child who couldnât be trusted to go out unsupervised. You may not have any memories of yourself from before the mission, but you know enough from what youâve been told that you were pretty independent. You were an Avenger after all, and it wasnât likely you were going out on the field anytime soon. Not when you couldnât even head to the store by yourself.
Steve notices the tears in your eyes and gives you a small, sympathetic smile. âDo you want me to get Natasha and Wanda?â
You nod again, not trusting yourself to speak as you hug yourself. Steve nods too, advising you to stay there and the moment heâs out of sight the tears begin to fall down your cheeks. You sniffle, turning towards the wall, not wanting anyone to see you. It feels like only seconds when suddenly a hand is on your shoulder, âHey Sweetheart, you okay?â
Itâs Wanda and you turn, burying your head in her shoulder and wrapping your arms around her torso. Itâs the first time youâve initiated such intimate contact and her arms immediately wrap back around you, rubbing her hand up and down your back. âItâs okay⊠Everythingâs okayâŠâ
âI feel like an idiot.â
âYouâre not an idiot, itâs just⊠Your brain not remembering well at the minute. Itâs understandable after everything that happened.â
âI canât do anything.â
âYes you can, youâre doing great in training. And itâs not like youâre forgetting absolutely everything, you remembered how to make those cookies.â
Youâd decided to attempt baking again yesterday, finding a basic cake recipe online, and youâd also made the cookies from memory just to see if you could. Natasha and Wanda had insisted they tasted even better than last time and it felt like your first real achievement since the accident. Even that suddenly made you feel childish â youâd gone from fighting alongside the Avengers to your only major achievement being making decent cookies.
âPlease donât get upset,â Wanda says, kissing your forehead. As soon as she does she feels bad, worried youâll be uncomfortable but her kiss seems to help so she decides to risk kissing your cheek. âDo you want to watch a movie with me and Natasha? We could pick out something that you used to love again, to see if you still like it?â
Theyâd been doing that a fair bit and so far, you still loved all your old, forgotten favourites. The thought of finding another lost gem does cheer you up somewhat so you nod, taking Wandaâs hand as she leads you through to the living room. Natasha is already in there reading but she looks up when she hears you both, holding her arms out when she sees youâve been crying, âAw baby, whatâs wrong?â
âI got lost again,â You sniffle, going over to sit next to her.
Natasha pulls you into her arms, looking down to make sure youâre okay with it. Youâve been initiating more contact with them recently as you warm back up to them, but she still always double checks. You snuggle into her arms and she smiles, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. âI was thinking âAquamarine,â Wanda says. âYou told us you watched that as a kid.â
Wanda presses play then snuggles into your other side, both women cuddling you. As the movie plays thereâs something about it that seems familiar. âI think I do remember watching this,â You mumble into Natashaâs chest.
âYeah?â Natasha asks.
âI have a vague memory of sitting on the carpet. There was someone sat next to me. I donât really remember but I just have this feeling if that makes sense.â
âIt does,â Wanda says, her fingers running up and down your arm. âHopefully itâs the start of you beginning to remember more and more.â
When Claire and Hailey jump in the water to swim after Aquamarine, both women notice that you start to cry again. âAre you okay?â Natasha asks.
You nod, quickly wiping a tear on your cheek, âYeah, itâs just⊠Itâs like us.â
Wanda laughs, âYeah, I guess it is like us. Weâd both jump into the ocean to save you.â
âIâm like Aqua. You two remember each other, you have so much shared history, and Iâm the new one in the group.â
âYouâre not new to us,â Natasha says. âYouâre still our baby.â
âAnd⊠We do love you,â Wanda says. âLike Nat said, youâre still you, still the person we fell in love with.â
Your head lolls sleepily against Natashaâs shoulder and she gives your forehead a gentle kiss, âShall we take you back to your room?â
You shake your head, âNo, I wanna⊠I wanna go in your room tonight.â
Natasha and Wanda exchange a pleased glance. âOur room,â Wanda says. âItâs your room too, you can come back whenever you want.â
âAre you sure thatâs what you want?â Natasha asks. âWe donât want to rush you-â
âI want to stay in your bed,â You confirm. âI donât want to be alone right now.â
âYouâre never alone,â Wanda says, pressing a kiss to your cheek. âWeâll always be here if you need us.â
Both of them walk you towards their bedroom, Wanda holding your hand and Natashaâs arm protectively around your shoulders. Rather than feeling like a lost child, you now feel⊠Loved. Wanted. Forgetting your memories has been painful but itâs comforting to know that everyone here in this building genuinely cares about you. Natasha and Wanda obviously but youâve noticed it in everyone else too. Everyoneâs patient with you in combat training, if they see you hesitating they immediately ask if they can help, and most importantly youâve never noticed any inconsistencies in what they tell you. Everyone is truthful. Youâd asked Tony if you liked pineapple and heâd hesitated before going to find Natasha and Wanda to check, rather than just making up an answer or guessing.
Itâs the first time youâve been into your real bedroom in weeks and the faint scent of Wandaâs perfume makes you feel a strange feeling of nostalgia. This room is definitely familiar to you even if you still donât quite remember it. Seeing Natashaâs firearm sat on her bedside table also triggers a feeling of reminisce within you â Natasha sees you looking and misunderstands, tucking it into the drawer out of sight.
They both change into their sleep clothes, forgetting that youâre probably self-conscious about getting naked in front of them. You turn away, shyly changing into your own pyjamas, a spare pair that had been left in here when youâd moved some of your stuff into the spare room. âYou used to like sleeping in the middle,â Natasha says. âIf you want to sleep on the end though or⊠You know, whatever you feel comfortable with. Itâs entirely up to you.â
âI want to sleep in the middle,â You say, thinking that that does sound familiar. Their warm bodies next to you, Natashaâs soft snores mixed with Wandaâs slow breaths. The memory is faded; more of a feeling than an actual memory but itâs there somewhere.
As you climb in between them, their arms automatically wrap around you, both of them having missed you in their bed. They know that they should take it slow, give you time to adjust, but they canât help both pressing loving kisses to your face. They donât know if youâll want to share their bed again tomorrow night or if tonight youâre just feeling particularly vulnerable, so they intend to make the most of every second.
âYou were right.â
Natasha meets your gaze as you mumble those words, giving you a small smile, âAbout what?â
âI fell in love with you both all over again.â
Their eyes immediately soften, Wandaâs eyes watering as she kisses your cheek whilst Natasha kisses your forehead. âWe love you so much,â Natasha says. âIn this lifetime and every other.â
Perhaps youâll never regain your memories. But youâre still here â and Natasha and Wanda have learnt not to take that for granted. No matter what struggles you face further down the line, theyâll be by your side every step of the way. They love you â and theyâre relieved to know you still love them too.
Boo hoo i'll be able to add more physical storage to my phone and be able to change out batteries if they degrade as well as all these other optional features I won't have to touch
I love how they add totally absurd things no one is asking for to make the idea look crazy. And still, I must emphasize, failing to make this look like a bad idea.
"Is this what you want? Is this ugly stupid bullcrap what you want??" the biggest loudest idiot in the room asks, holding up a picture of the hottest looking shit I've ever seen
âŠ..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.Â