The Moon Is Fake @heckingturtles - Tumblr Blog

good news everyone

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

manuciruja

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

ironinkpen

best thing about uncle iroh is that if you pay attention he is actually just as much of an idiot as zuko but has just mastered the art of coming across as a wise old man. the even better thing is that zuko is the only one on the planet who somewhat realizes this and no one would ever believe him because he's zuko

ironinkpen

like uncle iroh 100% does dumb shit on purpose sometimes to get people to underestimate him and keep zuko from capturing the avatar, but other times he just, and i cannot emphasize this enough, does impulsive dumb shit for no reason other than the fact that terminal stupid presumably runs in the royal family's blood

ironinkpen

uncle: "you never think things through, prince zuko!"

also uncle:

once got captured by the earth kingdom army buck ass naked bc he really wanted to go to a hot spring in enemy territory

betrayed zhao at the Northern Water Tribe with no escape plan and then spent 3 weeks starving on a boat

immediately went to a spa resort upon publicly committing treason

ate a poisonous plant and, in the spirit of Two Fish Hook Sokka, was going to solve the problem by eating another potentially poisonous plant

decided the safest place in the world they could go was the city he once FAMOUSLY laid siege to for 600 days

instead of lying low or giving a modicum of a shit about people recognizing him, overachieved himself into becoming one of the most well-known restaurant owners in said city

in fact overachieved so hard that he got an invite to meet the earth king (whose city he, again, once FAMOUSLY LAID SIEGE TO) which he fucking? accepted????

prettybirdy979

#no wonder zuko was constantly frothing at the mouth! he's the only one who knows the truth!#god just imagine the number of times people have seen zuko yelling at iroh#and assumed zuko was just being mean#when zuko was actually yelling at his uncle for wasting all their money bartering with pirates AGAIN#everyone assumes iroh is babysitting zuko but really they're pingponging responsibility back and forth#and zuko at least has the excuse of being 16#anyway I love Uncle Hypocrite so much; funniest motherfucker on the planet (via OP)

rylandsgrace

Project Hail Mary (2026) + Letterboxd reviews

iapislazuli

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people”

iapislazuli

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

sgkg

pbeeanjay

just being

seasononesam

I don’t understand.

seasononesam

Handmaiden? He was suspicious. I panicked.

ceruleanheaven

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

ceruleanheaven

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

ceruleanheaven

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

cruelfeast

many things wrong with me. well at least i'm bisexual.

frailbug

you think that you're so alone in the world then you read literature from hundreds of years ago and you realize that other people have always felt this way

katestewartt

sucksesful-user

supernatural so silly bc you get stuff like "he was poisoned by belladonna" "the pornstar?" but you also get insanely profound "freedom is a length of rope and God wants you to hang yourself with it"