Here Comes Awkward

I did something once and don’t want to ever again.

[lilac-landscapes]

Thinking about the idea of the justice league reading gossip articles about Bruce after they find out he’s Batman and I’m losing it.

“Bruce Wayne makes a splash Friday night, drunkenly takes swim in fountain”

“Bruce Wayne third rendezvous this week??”

“Another messy night escapade for Bruce Wayne”

“Tipsy Bruce Wayne takes spill into cake, wears it well”

This is the guy that redefined fear?

It gets even better thinking about after Bruce starts adopting, cause now that entire family is in the headlines. Somehow the league has to align the mental image of the Wayne’s with the Batfamily.

“Dick Grayson, eldest Wayne boy, sails through air on chandelier at charity benefit” this guy filled in as Batman on numerous occasions

“Jason Todd caught leaving ‘kick me’ sticky notes on a drunken Bruce Wayne’s back at Saturday’s Wayne gala” like, that’s the red hood??

“Bruce Wayne’s boy Tim Drake asleep in salad next to partying billionaire” the dude who hacked the watch tower last Tuesday?

“Youngest Wayne, Damian, and sister Cass seen mimicking stumbling father as loyal butler intervenes” …The league are still terrified of these two

Like, how are they supposed to wrap their heads around the fact that these guys are somehow the scourges of the underworld who haunt Gotham.

[confusionofconfusions-deactivat]

i love that 17th century jewish poltergeist story where the family living in the haunted house calls a catholic priest for help before they contact a rabbi, because yeah, i think that would be my call too; id be like, oh? a demon in my house speaking latin and drawing inverted crosses on my wall in sulfuric bile? then without even questioning my faith i’d call up the catholic church and be like yo father, one of your boys loose come get him

[mayflower-uwu]

“Look here pal, I know my religion, and this ain’t it. Whatever this guy is, they’re clearly from your version of things. Mind coming over to help fix things up?”

[xekstrin]

#not my covenant not my malefactor

[theweirdwideweb]

[theweirdwideweb]

[darthmelyanna]

I want to be very clear: I did not schedule this to post on Easter weekend.

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

I want to be very clear: I did schedule this to post on Easter weekend

[nqsa]

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

[mooncustafer]

New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.

[skeleton-richard]

[spacegay-yx]

[freshdonuts]

“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.

[spacedandelions]

this makes too much sense. Also, the full quote is “Now John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free. And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke. But there’s someplace that he’d rather be” Yes, your bed, he wants to be on your bed honey, that’s not a joke, he is flirting with you.

[madgastronomer]

Lighting another man’s cigarette is some old-school gay cruising.

[costis]

[tageule]

Here he is with the lemon btw

[herecomesawkward]

This, but with Lois Lane and Lex Luthor.

[chipper-smol]

when something cool happens but you cant say anything to anyone so youre just

[somethingsomethingwizard]

What happened?

[chipper-smol]

[chipper-smol]

Im glad that this has reached many people who have signed NDAs

[hellyesbro]

This was relatable until I read the words NDA. I'm repurposing this post for girls who commit crimes against the state.

[unpretty]

The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.

[guyalice]

I have never before heard of Everett True, but if he “regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude,” I have a strong spiritual connection with him.

[froginakettle]

[hotcocoachia]

I fucking love him

[jaynavajasso]

i can imagine this guy’s voice very clearly in my head but i couldn’t put a name to it 

[iamtypinglike98madmen-deactivat]

He also jabs racists in the eye!

[tumblunni]

I love the justice grandpa of fists

[cursedcharley]

I’m very lucky to own a book that’s a collection of most of these comics (sadly not all of them) and would highly recommend hunting these down if you can. Sorry for the lack of a scanner but phone photos will just have to do.

He was a enjoyable cuss who didn’t care for war mongering.

Especially profitable war mongering and excuses for it!

He certainly didn’t like selfish husbands and fathers!

Politicians who turned on their words once they got theirs weren’t safe.

He said fuck the police!

He absolutely didn’t like people ruining little things for kids.

He stood up for foreigners. Especially those doing their best to communicate with limited second language knowledge.

He was not having any tomfoolery when it came to gun safety and laws. Especially with youth involved.

You had better not abuse a animal with him nearby. He’d right that wrong real quick!

And best of all him and his wife were both prickly cusses together. Relationship goals.

[biglawbear]

I have a new role model

[briarchubnj]

😍

[runcibility]

“justice grandpa of fists”

[arquus-malvaceae-deactivated202]

It’s nice to see a fat dude in a political cartoon that’s NOT being used as shorthand for greed and corruption.

[charismat1c-megafauna]

Hes like the personification of motherfucker unlimited

[bogleech]

Reblogging this newer version of this thread with so many more strips I haven’t seen…why did this character ever disappear. Where did you go, Everett.

[tramampoline]

we need him more than ever…

[emperorclaudiusofficial]

sorry to make a long post longer but I feel like we could all really use some Everett True Beating Up Anti-Maskers content: 

[dduane]

He’s a hero, our Everett.

[dollsahoy]

Just found out there were live action Everett True shorts (silent films, though, so the outbursts were largely body language)

[unseen-alumni]

Reblogging to always have it to hand. :)

[thehappysorceress]

It got better!

[crazy-brazilian]

[its-grape-juice-i-swear]

same energy

[vixibombae]

best moments in gaming journalism

journalist gets real yakuza members to play yakuza 3 and asks for their opinions on its authenticity

that’s it

[vixibombae]

highlights:

“What’s with all the fucking gaijin in this area?” “Dude, don’t say that, use gaikokujin, it’s nicer.” “Oh, shit, right. What’s with all the fucking gaikokujin in this area?”

“The breaded pork cutlet bento box is like mega power. More than ramen. That’s accurate.”

all of them start dragging kiryu for his shitty cheap shirt for five minutes

“Shooting people sends a message.” “So does shooting anything.”

(after being told that massage parlors, mahjong, and hostess clubs were cut from the US version) “I feel sorry for the people who bought the American version. SEGA USA sucks.”

[tramampoline]

S: I don’t know any ex-yakuza running orphanages. K: There was one a few years ago. A good guy. M: You sure it wasn’t just a tax shelter? K: Sure it was a tax shelter but he ran it like a legitimate thing. You know.

[enemy-stand]

“Author’s note: A heated discussion takes place as to whether the game is stereotyping the yakuza, which is resolved when Midoriyama, a now-retired former mid-level faction boss, points out that the stereotypes about the yakuza are more or less correct, with the exception of their alleged prowess in martial arts.“

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

i’ve seen these quotes a hundred times but never the full article — 200k notes and i’ve never seen someone mention the guy saying “they should let kiryu smoke meth”

[1982brucespringsteen]

“let’s face it, these days, Americans and the CIA make great villains” hello. hello

[donnovien]

[space-bones-official]

In case anyone is wondering how M&M cylinder guy is doing.

[astralikacastle]

[xrd]

Oh before I forget it exists again I need everyone to see this r/whowouldwin post

[sistertaxon]

Okay overall i think we’re forgetting the most upvoted r/whowouldwin post of all time

[joeyclaire]

i thought you were a lesbian??

I AM TALKING ABOUT THE FAST FOOD CHAIN

[the-cosmic-yeet]

I don’t even want the context

[joeyclaire]

god i want five guys

[the-cosmic-yeet]

okay the context is great actually

[turing-tested]

guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way

[vraska-theunseen]

wait what’s the difference?

[turing-tested]

one you can use in the oven safely and the other you can also use in the oven if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire

[turing-tested]

100k notes on this post and I still don't remember which is which

[cryptocism]

cassie must give real good hugs huh