When medicine is holding the migraine back but you can still kinda feel it in the distance waiting to return

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
taylor price
art blog(derogatory)
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

#extradirty
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
tumblr dot com

@theartofmadeline
noise dept.

Origami Around
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

titsay

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trying on a metaphor
Cosimo Galluzzi
Today's Document

roma★

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@hitherecreature
When medicine is holding the migraine back but you can still kinda feel it in the distance waiting to return
pls give me 1(one) reason aces have ever been oppressed, and 1(one) example of aces being a part of lgbt history(before 2004 at least) and then maybe i’ll consider the idea that aces belong in the lgbt community lol
Proof of the existence of asexuals in LGBT+ communities before 2000:
The Golden Orchid association (1644-1949) - a group of women in China that included lesbians, bisexuals, and “women who wanted to avoid both marriage options, and any romantic or sexual partnership” that today we would call asexual or aromantic.
Another Golden Orchid association link (which, interestingly, describes what appears to be a poly relationship).
Personal experience of a queer-identifying person noting that aces were part of the bi community in the 80s and 90s.
A book published in 1999 supports the previous link of someone’s personal experience, and notes that asexuals could be considered part of Kinsey’s “Group 3″ (the bisexuals) because they were “about equally homosexual and heterosexual” and “have no strong preferences for one or the other” just like bisexuals.
Another book that supports the personal experience source by noting that asexuals were considered part of the bisexual “Group 3″, which was published in 1999.
Another post of someone’s personal experiences of asexuals being part of the LGBT+ community in the 90s.
A source from 1999 noting that, while some female-female relationships in the early to mid-twentieth century were obviously lesbian relationships, not all of them were, but that it would be a mistake to label them all “friendships”. It specifically notes that asexual partnered relationships also existed.
This book describes a series of interviews done in 1990 by Catherine Whitney who interviewed heterosexual women married to gay men, and found that they were often asexual. It also describes how, in 1990, Ann Landers (a very popular advice columnist) asked her readers if married couples could enjoy a full life without sex and was flooded with 35,000 responses from people of all ages who had little or no sex and didn’t miss it. It also describes how “Boston marriage” was originally coined with a not-necessarily-always-accurate implication that such a relationship between women was nonsexual, but that later on the assumption was reversed to imply women in a sexual lesbian relationship, and how that caused some women involved in such relationships to hide the asexual nature of their relationships for fear of being called frauds by the larger lesbian community.
This 1997 book that states “To be a Kinsey 3 (bisexual) is to be equally attracted to men and women, i.e. completely bisexual…it is also to be equally unattracted to men and women, i.e. completely asexual. Bisexuality is never about two, only about one – asexual, or self-fulfilling – or three – continuously and equally attracted to both men and women”.
Proof of asexuality being considered as a concrete, distinct orientation before 2000:
One of the first online posts about asexuality in its current use, was made in 1997.
A study on anorexia and bulemia in gay and bisexual men done in 1999 found that 58% of anorexia patients were asexual.
The 1997 Australasian Gay & Lesbian Law Journal mentions asexual as a “relevant sexual identity”.
A 1983 issue of the Journal of Sex Research studied the Mental Health Implications of Sexual Orientation among heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and asexual people.
The article “Asexuality as Orientation: Some Historical Perspectives” describes different historical studies on asexuality, including a study from Johnson in 1977 where the word asexual was used to describe women “regardless of physical or emotional condition, actual sexual history, and marital status or ideological orientation, [who] seem to prefer not to engage in sexual activity”. It also describes a 1980 study by Storms who included asexual as one of four orientation categories when mapping out sexual orientation. It also describes a 1983 study by Nurius that found out of 685 participants, 5% of males and 10% of females were asexual. It also describes a 1990 study by Berkley et al. that included questions “related to homosexuality, heterosexuality, and asexuality” and included four items (out of 45) that were specific to asexuality.
This book published in 1922 contains a lot of what I personally would describe as narcissism and pseudo-science, but acknowledges asexuality nonetheless: “In addition to the ordinary distinctive males and females, we have asexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, and old women of both sexes.”
This book from 1996 that notes “A transsexual may have a heterosexual orientation, a homosexual orientation, a bisexual orientation – or an asexual orientation” and clarifies that “a very small number – are asexual or bisexual.”
This book mentions a study by Malyon in 1981 that noted the options available to gay and lesbian teenagers choosing whether, or how, to come out by “[describing] three possible modes of adaptation in adolescence: repression of sexual desire, suppression of homosexual impulses in favor of heterosexual or asexual orientation, or a homosexual disclosure.”
Kinds of oppression that asexuals face:
Eunjung Kim wrote a chapter titled “How Much Sex Is Healthy? The Pleasures of Asexuality” that describes how “the absence of sexual desires, feelings, and activities is seen as abnormal and reflective of poor health” in Western contemporary culture “because of the explicit connection between sexual activeness and healthiness” and argues that “medical explanations of asexuality as an abnormality that has to be corrected constitute a large part of the stigmatization and marginalization experienced by asexual people.” It also discusses the ways in which some groups, specifically Asian American males, that are desexualized can erase the space for asexual Asian American men to simply exist.
Asexuals also face sexual harassment, rape threats, corrective sexual assault, and corrective rape (which, no, is not a lesbian-only term according to actual South Africans) specifically because they are asexual.
There was a recent study by the AAU to identify sexual assault on college campuses, and broke down the responders to their survey by sexual orientation, including asexual. The results clearly show that asexuals are not immune to unwanted sexual contact, stalking, intimate partner violence, or sexual harassment.
A chapter of “Asexualities: Feminist and Queer Perspectives” that notes the specific way that asexual people are talked to/about: “Because asexual difference cannot be iterated in the linguistic field where sex and a sexed position dominate the discourse of sexuality and desire, the asexual subject is linguistically and visually dismantled and reconstructed in the position of a fetish object. This fetishistic conversion happens because the asexual person is made into an image, or spectacle, for consumption.” and “The difference between the unassailable asexual (someone who lacks all of the traits commonly blamed for asexuality such as past history of abuse, disability, etc.) and the spectacular asexual is that while the unassailable asexual allegedly makes asexuality digestible for a skeptical public and presents an accessible image, the spectacular asexual is always consumed as a fetish object, regardless of mental health, ability, and gender.”
The study “Intergroup bias toward “Group X”: Evidence of prejudice, dehumanization, avoidance, and discrimination of asexuals” is exactly what it sounds like. The article’s abstract states: “In two studies (university student and community samples) we examined the extent to which those not desiring sexual activity are viewed negatively by heterosexuals. We provide the first empirical evidence of intergroup bias against asexuals (the so-called “Group X”), a social target evaluated more negatively, viewed as less human, and less valued as contact partners, relative to heterosexuals and other sexual minorities. Heterosexuals were also willing to discriminate against asexuals (matching discrimination against homosexuals). Potential confounds (e.g., bias against singles or unfamiliar groups) were ruled out as explanations.”
The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality describes many issues that asexuals face, including: how asexuality is seen as “invisible” and lends to people thinking it does not exist, how asexuality is actively erased as “unimportant” or not its own identity, the explicitly and implicitly negative messages associated with a lack of sexual attraction, the fear asexuals face when they believe there is something physically or psychologically wrong with them for being asexual, the belief asexuals face about how they must be deeply flawed since they do not conform to other sexual identities, how asexuals face cultural ideologies that sexuality is biologically based and ubiquitous (that all humans possess sexual desire) and that don’t acknowledge asexuality, that to describe oneself as asexual is a statement of moral superiority or purity or failure to find a suitable partner, that asexuality is an immature state they will “grow out of”, that asexuality is a description of action or a preference, that asexuality is unnatural or unhealthy or has to be a symptom of something else, etc.
Asexuality has been shown in the media in a negative light for decades, reflecting the idea that (for various reasons steeped in classism and racism) any woman who wasn’t willing to marry and procreate was a threat to the status quo, as seen in this 1955 book that notes: “Women who did not marry incurred political and social scorn for another reason. The influx of eastern and southern European immigrants in the United States pushed the question into eugenic terms–the wrong people were reproducing. Educated women came primarily from white middle- and upper-class stock, the most desired element by dominant social norms. When these women refused to marry and reproduce, they forced a new concern into the public discourse. it is not a coincidence that the stereotypical asexual unmarried older woman emerged at this time as a source of popular humor.”
Some people in some religions are very explicit about hating asexuals specifically because they are asexual, seeing asexuality as “a perversion akin to homosexuality and bestiality”.
Other religions see asexuals as actually sinful if they choose not to have sex with their spouse.
While not every member of every religion looks down on asexuals, many people in portions of various religions choose to view asexuals negatively.
Some people even recommend asexuals avoid being in a relationship with non-asexuals and assert that “promoting and trying to spread” asexuality, or behaving in an asexual manner, is wrong or unhealthy.
Because of these religious beliefs about asexuality, that also opens up asexuals to discrimination in various legal ways, including (but not limited to) things like the new adoption bill in Texas.
Asexuality was implicitly pathologized until very recently, and even now, the DSM-V states that a diagnosis of HSDD may not be given only if the patient has a preexisting knowledge of asexuality and chooses to ID that way.
TL;DR:
Asexuals have long been considered part of the bisexual community. When people used to talk about bisexuals, it included asexuals because asexuals were the bisexuals too. Bisexual history is asexual history.
Asexuals have also long been considered as a stand-alone orientation that was part of larger non-straight communities and could be studied in comparison to other sexual orientations.
Asexuals face many of the same issues that other marginalized orientations face as well as issues specific to their orientation. These include erasure, medicalization, misidentification, harassment, rape specifically targeted at them for being asexual, and religious intolerance, to name just a few.
None of this is exhaustive. There are more sources to be found and studied.
please reblog this amazing post!!
I have to note as a historian that refusing to marry and have kids has been pretty much frowned on in virtually every society. A few socities had some kind of out, but that usually meant being bound in other ways (being some kind of holy ascetic and cloistered). This pretty much runs from the moment we know anything about any society to the present.,
There’s always been pressure on asexuals to conform to that norm.
final mental illness musing of the night but as you all know, i’ve suffered from an extremely severe case of depression since i was a toddler. and one of the most infuriating things about growing up this way was how many adults seem to just not understand that children can be depressed. sure, you may associate depression with teen years, but there are plenty of kids 12 and under who are deeply, deeply depressed and it’s just completely overlooked. When I talk about how early my suicidal behaviors started, people go ‘wow! i had no idea that it could start so young?’ but i have several friends who were also depressed as kids and i don’t think it’s that uncommon. i mean, bullying is frequent in children’s lives and yet you don’t think an 8 year old can get suicidal? It all goes back to people not seeing children as people, of course. Considering them not capable of complex emotions. I just feel for all the kids who go untreated because their parents haven’t stopped to think if theres a reason why their kid spends all their time in their room.
if Mumford & Sons existed in Aramán I think 17-year-old Azune would have listened to Little Lion Man on repeat every night in his tent and cried. And I think Teor would eventually go up to him and say "you are not little lion man" and it would just make Azune cry harder because now he thinks he accidentally offended Teor. And Teor would panic and say "no no I meant you are not metaphorical little lion man, I didn't think you thought you were an actual lion man." Which, of course, would just make Azune even more upset because he feels guilty that he thought Teor would not understand the metaphor. And eventually he'd just be lying on the ground ugly sobbing while Teor is patting his back and saying "I wish to kill Mumford and all of his Sons"
being on the aro spectrum would be a lot easier if being single wasn't made to feel like a literal death sentence
it's all very well to say "friends are just as important as romantic partners" but in practice this simply is not the case lmao. you can share a flat with a friend but it's expected that sooner or later that friend will meet someone and will move out to go live with that person instead. if you're hanging out with friends you can bring your partner along but your friends can't come on a date night with you because that's third-wheeling and it's weird. you can know somebody for most of your life and still be second-best to some guy they met on tinder 6 months ago. you're meant to just accept without question the fact that your friends will prioritise time with their partners over time with you. being single is treated like a problem that needs to be fixed. we casually use expressions like "just friends" or "more than friends". everything we read and watch reinforces the idea that romantic love is what gives life meaning and therefore your life is meaningless without it. i try to keep my chin up but my god it is bleak out there
SHEILA ATIM as AKASHA INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE | Season 3, Episode 5, "New York"
job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?
anybody out there hiring gay losers. ideally a 100k/year salary and i work for one hour every day when i feel like it. thanks
fyi the point of fucking up your data patterns isnt to avoid suspicion. it’s to make EVERYONE suspicious. same logic as the bloc, pals. protect your comrades, be suspicious. ESPECIALLY if you aren’t doing anything likely to get you arrested.
the state is less omniscient and significantly more incompetent than you’d think. overextend their resources at every possible opportunity. make them cry wolf repeatedly. run their data analysis agents fucking ragged. and strike. attack.
YES i’m a postgrad statistics researcher and i can tell you that the state honestly has NO IDEA what to do with the data it collects, it has an obsession with big data but it’s almost impossible to work with in practice. the traditional statistical approaches that are used can’t be scaled up, the adapted approaches are substantially weakened, and the machine learning approaches have the same problems and often tell them nothing. data scientists are only just coming around to these issues too, most still just push on with it anyway - incompetence is the word. above all this though, like you say, the biggest issue for the state is at the point of data collection. they will NEVER get anything useful if they’re collecting shitty messy data. they will eventually figure out that the real solution is working how to collect accurate and meaningful data, we should make it as difficult as possible for them to do that
This makes me think that we need WAAAY more apps that generate junk data
Apps that generate junk data? tell me moooore.
Ooh I know this one!
Ad Nauseum is an adblocker that stores the ads it blocks and continuously generates fake clicks, fucking with analytics and costing the ad companies money
TrackMeNot automatically does randomly generated searches on a variety of search engines to obscure your real searches and fuck with analytics, and you can set it up to work with anything that has a search bar (including facebook, twitter, amazon, youtube, etc)
WhatCampaign replaces analytics parameters in links with the string “FuckOff”. I thought there was a similar extension that used random strings, but I can’t seem to find it
Privacy Possum is a fork of Privacy Badger with a focus on costing tracking companies as much money as possible, and idk if my limited tech knowledge is enough to understand what it does but the description does say it falsifies some data so that’s good enough for me
@afraidofamericans
Boy it SURE would be a SHAME if this were SPREAD AROUND for everyone TO SEE
Anyway I think more video game quests should make you uncomfortable and guilty and mislead you and corner you between a rock and a hard place and offer hollow victories. There's nothing more annoying than quest writing that scrambles to assure you that you're niceys and good and nothing you put your hand on can ever have negative consequences. "You cannot save everyone" and I cheer and whoop etc.
You remind me of a young woman, many years past. You have her face. A sweetheart of yours? No, no, no, a Vecce, above my station. We all jostled for a glimpse of her blonde hair. Where is she now?
universal rules of campaign 4:
everything is birds
everyone is 5’11
only teor is teor
you can’t prove there’s allegory in this
*sobbing* i love em
here are some fresh ibuprofen pills for you to snack on
Man everyone keeps being like “Azune is basically the same age as demodus” and then running with the idea that both of them are basically children, and Murray not seeing him that way is some sort of failure on her part. And I don’t think that’s the right conclusion to draw here.
So much of how we think about age actually has to do with like, life experiences etc. demodus is a grad student who does whimsical performance magic. azune is a war vet with a job in a leadership position who up until very recently has does everything he can to make everyone see him as competent. One of these people fits into the societal role of a child in a way the other doesn’t.
It doesn’t help that despite being protective of her students, Murray seems like she’s pretty shit at doing any of the comforting or emotional stuff. She’s all tough love, when they rescued demodus she immediately yelled at him for being stupid, despite this obviously hurting him. I don’t remember the exact line off the top of my head but she even talked about giving him an awkward and not super comforting hug. She has a few tender moments, but overall she’s simply not good at being earnest and soft with anyone.
Murray is observant and she knows Azune well enough to see that he’s struggling, she just doesn’t know what to do with that. Like, the ice cream thing reads to me as her trying to cover up intense emotions with humor, but also as her not knowing how to give Azune what he needs from her. He doesn’t want to be treated like a child, he wants someone to prioritize his safety! And it sucks and isn’t fair to Azune, but the stakes are high and she needs to be able to rely on him to continue getting shit done, at least for a little while.
The thing about Azune that’s so heartbreaking is that he is a full competent adult now. When he sees the way everyone treats demodus it’s upsetting, but I think it’s less him wanting that for himself now, and more that he’s realizing his younger self should have gotten that treatment. Which is an important distinction.
Two job-hunting resources that changed my life:
This cover letter post on askamanger.com. A job interview guide written by Alison Green, who runs askamanager.
Shout-out to @ms-demeanor for putting these on my dash again, I’d like to add this exceptional interview question “answer guide” that explains traps and “the best” way to answer over 64 common questions. I don’t know who to attribute it to, but here it is: PDF from tri valley one-stop career center.
Hey some of these answer templates helped J get an offer letter from her dream job; strongly recommend you read them if you’re job hunting