and I fell in love instantly

[locked-n-lewded-requiem]

since "cage" is a last name and there are girls named "chastity" it would be theoretically be possible for a girl to be named chastity cage

[dikubutto]

Wake up babe new Austin Powers girl just dropped

[ripvaccinated2017-2021-deactiva]

pregnancy is a hoax the baby sprouts out the ground ive seen it happen

[ripvaccinated2017-2021-deactiva]

People pretend to be pregnant for clout it started with one woman named dvd and people been chasing the same high since

[ripvaccinated2017-2021-deactiva]

meant eve

[swedishjazz]

[inthefallofasparrow]

[homoquartz]

i’ve warmed up significantly towards the concept of small talk ever since i learned that its sole purpose is to make friendly noises.

as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it’s just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we’re small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, “i’m not here to hurt you. here’s something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we’re on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i’m being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.”

small talk isn’t to get to know a person. it’s just a greeting to affirm you’re buddies in the universe.

i am motivated by wanting the other person to know i am friendly, so i have gotten pretty decent at small talk when i used to hate it.

[podcastwizard]

some royal jewels were stolen from the louvre which is unfortunate for historical reasons but you gotta appreciate a classic crime. so many crimes are online these days it’s nice to see heist culture is still alive

[slatestarscratchpad]

The chemical name for vitamin C is “ascorbic acid”. I always used to wonder about this one. Is being ascorbic like being acerbic? Is it like being ascetic? Absorbent? Some combination of all of them?

Today I learned that scorbi is just a Latinish way of writing scurvy. So a-scorbi-c acid is “no-scurvy acid”.

[runcibility]

Eat this orange. It’s full of FuckScurvium.

[donjuaninhell]

I swear, some of you people somehow manage to possess all of the three most unfortunate character traits someone can have: a) kinda stupid, b) obnoxiously contrarian, c) deeply annoying.

[tockthewatchdog]

stuff you say when you don’t give a fuck about women quite frankly

[cardassiangoodreads]

Hence the not-uncommon adage that the washing machine did even more for women's liberation than the birth control pill

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Gomez and Morticia Addams got divorced. I woke up mortified and with a sense of inexplicable dread.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[penrosesun]

[weaselle]

you literally don’t need any other plot and i would watch the movie

[random-chaos-thoughts]

Every 'normal' adult is fussing around Pugsley and Wednesday because "poor children that must be so hard for you to see mom and dad break up like this"

But the kid are absolutely unfazed, arguing that "it's alright they will be together again soon". The normie are so sad for the "children clinging to vain hopes" until Morticia and Gomez get married again two weeks after the divorce.

In the meantime Mama and Uncle Fester fight about which one of them will go to whose custody.

They pretend to argue in court and at meeting with lawyers over the splitting of the properties but that's mostly Gomez insisting to leave more and more thing to his wife in an angry voice.

At home they decided not to talk to each other so Lurch has to (begrudgingly) transmit messages from one to the other, even when they are sat on either side of the table.

That works (more or less) then Morticia says one word in french and Gomez run to cover her with kisses until Morticia remind him that they are spliting (that's the only moment he seems to regret the whole thing)

[yeomanstuff]

This. All of this.

[6qubed]

Wednesday offers to help with split custody of Pugsley. her suggestion involved a big table saw

[swimmingblue]

They fight over who gets to hire the expensive big-firm lawyer and who gets to hire the up-and-coming rookie divorce lawyer. It's a whole Thing.

[ladyartemisia28]

The up and coming lawyer is Thing?

[aethersea]

Thing wins the case

[amultitudeofyellowrodents]

it's actually started because Thing just passed the bar exam and no one will hire Thing

[muttmutttgoose]

Thing is dressed as elle woods

[ozempicofficial]

[kosmogrl]

[kosmogrl]

[halewoods]

[ms-demeanor]

this made me laugh so hard that it triggered an asthma attack.

[byjove]

still fuming mad about that one reddit post that was like “halloween adults are just as bad as Disney adults” I just want to give people candy and wear costumes and tell scary stories, not fund the atrocities committed by a $200 billion dollar nightmare corporation. like, don’t get me wrong, a lot of consumerism gets tangled up with Halloween but at its core it is a fairly accessible and fun holiday and it prioritizes creativity and spirit over material goods, unlike modern Christmas.

[beastliness]

hate it when the people who I love are suffering due to circumstances beyond my control 👎 there should be a sea monster that I can slay to fix the problem

[beastliness]

nobody ever gets locked in a tower or chained to a rock at sea anymore - it's always some shit like chronic illness or ptsd related depression

[flowersfromunderground]

Be yourself so ppl looking for u can find u

[ri5k]

[sisyphusshrugged]

[crabussy]

sighing really long and loud. they should invent an essay that does itself

[crabussy]

(horror drone sound effect in the background getting louder) (remembering it is 2025) but not like that

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

[alphacrone]

when you drink all the wine in the house and then you have. :( no wine in the house

[podcastwizard]

me when i excuse myself during a dinner party to sneak outside and milk more cabernet sauvignon from the Creature

[podcastwizard]

had food poisoning when i posted this

[martinkhall]

Well if you'd pasteurized the Cabernet Sauvignon you milked from the creature maybe you wouldn't have gotten food poisoning from it.

[podcastwizard]

oh suddenly everyone's an expert on the Creature i milk