🫧in the imp simp trenches🫧

sideblog for shameless star wars simping

[armitagehuxsleepschedule]

Hux: Maybe the man-made horrors are beyond your comprehension. I get it, though.

[hothgirlsummer]

hux, the man behind the man-made horrors:

[space-gingers]

My friends and I keep saying this atm so yk

[damiengravehill]

I was hoping I'd at least reach his shoulders. I'm merely a hill amongst mountains

[vaguely-concerned]

fascinated by snoke and kylo ren's relationships to hux honestly. he's like their little ginger stress ball they merrily do looney tunes shit to whenever they need to blow off some sith steam or whatever and then he gets up wipes the blood away and does all their evil engineering and public relations for them. And then hux’s side of that is just... insane. this man has invented a level of psychological self harm previously unknown to science and it compels me. he killed his dad (sole hux W literally the only based thing he's ever done) and then every day willingly puts himself at the mercy of not one but two people in the position to mistreat, humiliate and dismiss him in exactly the same way, except they don’t even need to touch him to do it. he's perpetrated THE greatest act of violence the galaxy has ever seen, and the narrative by way of the force consistently, almost lovingly, extends to him all the dignity and gravitas of wile e. coyote about to drop an anvil on his own head.

this is not a criticism btw it’s genuinely so so darkly funny to me. it’s probably what catches my interest here in the first place. I love a losing dog I’ve always loved losing dogs. assigned comedic middle management for your horrific war crimes the armitage hux story

[avercado5]

Timeline of Armitage Hux's Life

Excuse the formatting... tumblr has no idents and it makes this stuff impossible. Please let me know of any corrections and I will update this. I tried to be as accurate as possible, but some of these dates are guesswork (and thus have a span of years it might be).

1 BBY - Born to Brendol Hux & a kitchen woman on Arkanis

5 ABY -

Evacuates Arkanis with Brendol Hux

Is given protection by Rae Sloane

10-13 ABY - Has lost Sloane's protection/contact and is abused by Brendol again

Sometime before Parnassos - Becomes a General

27-29 ABY - Meets Brendol Hux at the crash sight on Parnassos, witnesses bombardment of the planet.

30 ABY -

Allows Phasma to kill Brendol

(with Phasma) recruits Jinata security to begin capturing infants for the stormtrooper program.

33 ABY - Marooned with Kylo Ren

33 ABY - Kills Admiral Brooks

34 ABY -

Events of TFA

Events of TLJ

Rumors spread about Snoke's successor, many (incorrectly) assume it's Hux.

Travels to Titan for updates on refueling stations and hunt for resistance cells (With Pyre)

Fleet destroys Tag'Nuhna for helping resistance

Skirmish on Mon Cala

Battle of Battuu

35 ABY - Events of TRoS

35 ABY Onward- Hux lives :)

SOURCES:

5 ABY - Aftermath

10-13 ABY - Age of Resistance Comic

27-30 ABY - Phasma

33 ABY - Age of Resistance Comic

34 ABY - TFA, TLJ, Star Wars Resistance

35 ABY - TRoS

[hothgirlsummer]

когда-нибудь я перестану делать мемы про то, как вирс пережил хот, но это будет не скоро… (юмор лучший способ справиться с болью)

🎀 translation under the cut;

veers (probably texting piett): wanna climb a tree rn but it doesn’t look sturdy so if i don’t text in abt an hour that means i fell and obliterated my spine in [THIS] location

veers, 15 minutes later: s‘ fine it held out

someday i will stop making memes about veers surviving hoth.. someday, but not today. humor is the best medicine owgh :.[

[twink-hux]

[sapphling]

pawing at you for attention maturely and in such a way as to command your respect

[hothgirlsummer]

пиетт когда его только повысили до адмирала, а начальству приспичило лезть в астероидное поле (они разъебали целый звездный разрушитель):

🎀translation under the cut:

piett when he Just got promoted to admiral and his superior decides it’s asteroid field o'clock (they totaled an entire star destroyer):

i’m. havgin a really bad time here actually.

[sturgeon-general]

Average Imperial Board Meeting, circa 1 BBY

Alternate Title: Redrawing memes I found while scrolling on Pinterest at 3 am. (Original image under the cut)

[mudcrayon]

Listen…

[steepleowl]

You might have already found them yourself (in which case do disregard this ask), but if you were still wanting to see some of the Resistance vs First Order perspective card descriptions, I have procured the Hux ones

Darth—can I call you Darth?—you are like a fairy godmother to me. I did manage to track down an eBay listing for the cards, and I will purchase several (Hux, Phasma, and Kylo Ren) once I get over my obligatory Non-Essential Spending Anxiety, but I would be over the moon if you shared them here!

[darthnostra]

Behold

He’s a shining star 🌟

[hothgirlsummer]

hi!! sorry for hijacking the post, but hux’s resistance pov card kept reminding me of something and i finally figured WHAT

[cienie-isengardu]

"Bounty hunters! We don't need that scum…

…Those Rebels won’t escape us.“

Said once admiral Piett, while looking at Bounty Hunters personally invited by Lord Vader. That scene catched my attention long time ago and even now I find it intriguing. Bounty Hunters were present in the Old Trilogy from the start - Han shot Greedo, the rodian bounty hunter, then mentioned other on Hoth as a reason why he needed to leave Rebellion/Luke & Leia (”Well, the bounty hunter we ran into on Ord Mantell changed my mind”) and later, Vader used them for his own purpose. (Movie) Bounty Hunters weren’t really connected to any political side of the conflict, they would work for anyone if the price was right. Yet there wasn’t much openly aversion toward them - they weren’t the good guys, their presence always meant trouble, sure, but Rebels hated Empire and vice verse (what is seen pretty much with Leia and Vader from the start, though their passionate hate for each other is really personal matter). Piett was first(?) and only(?) one character to be so openly in his anger / disgust toward Bounty Hunter (so far in the two movies, anyway).

And that little scene speaks a lot about Piett as character. The imperial officer promoted to admiral by Darth Vader had more spite for merceneries than he showed toward Rebels. Of course, whatever he felt about Rebel Alliance is difficult to tell by movie alone - he had to be proffesional about his job/duties, not ruled by emotions. Yet in that moment we saw his human side, his revulsion, his anger at Bounty Hunters and maybe at Vader too, for bringing those scums into imperial ship, for not trusting imperial army to do the job.

The most interesting part of this for me? We saw Piett speaking ill just about Bounty Hunters, the only one group that didn’t fight in this war for idealistic motives, like Rebels (freedom and democracy) or Imperials (order and military regime) did, only for money and/or simple thrill of killing. That always makes me wonder what happened in Outer Rim where he was born and raised, before he joined imperial navy & climbed so high in the hierarchy. What made Piett hate so much Bounty Hunters?

[hothgirlsummer]

русскоговорящей стороне фандома посвящается, отзовитесь собратья по симпингу🤧

[sexylordvader]

The Jokers, 1967

[hothgirlsummer]

his SMILE!!!! <3 i. i need to sit down for a Moment.. ough

(also hehe, the first two GIFs… prime back-talking lieutenant piett inspo🎀)

[aldo-n-canp]

Кусь

[cienie-isengardu]

Fun fact #1: According to director Irvin Kershner, Admiral Piett’s disgusted reaction to Bossk’s sharp toes hanging above him on the Executor was actor Ken Colley’s natural reaction and was not in the script. The disgust was based on the immorality of the creature, not so much his look.

[hothgirlsummer]

ooh! one of the ESB novelizations actually had a very interesting take on this scene— even before finding out this fact (honestly, tysm op! need every crumb of lore we can get our grubby hands upon), i believed colley played that look with less blind fear and more… of an affronted apprehension? so i’m honestly really pleased that i was somewhat spot-on :]

on a different note, the first passage of the novelization seems to be much more in-tune with how i hc piett to be: despite his survivalist mindset and unassuming keep-your-head-down attitude, he is still a man of principle — thus, seeing a bounty hunter parading with a trophy aboard HIS ship? wearing the uniform of a pilot, presumably military personnel— almost certainly slain by bossk’s own hand and disrespected even in death?! i think piett just might be experiencing a flashback to his anti-pirate days: pirates are notorious for keeping trophies, after all.

this is actually why i don’t enjoy the second passage as much: in my mind, piett would be squaring up, not backing down! he’s already apprehensive of the bounty hunters to the point of vocally making it known (in hearing distance of his superior, no less) and it simply adds insult to injury that one of them dares to flaunt his ill-begotten kills on a vessel meant to symbolize imperial justice and order. so yes, piett is absolutely staring the bastard down… even from his disadvantaged position. if looks could kill…

(piett probably calculating the fastest way to drag bossk down into the command pit to give him a piece of his mind.. and wether the eventual court-martial would be worth it lmao)