Stupid Canadian Wolf Birds Near You ‼️

Wren, She/They, 23, 🇨🇦

[hottawacentaurs]

I’d say I’m here for a good time not a long time but this is tumblr so that’s demonstrably false…

Mostly posting about #myshane and #myilya but occasionally I’ll throw in some music I like or a craft I’m working on (currently in my leatherworking era…)

For your viewing pleasure:

my wramblings

my HR fic recs

my (attempts at) writing

my crafting projects

[hottawacentaurs]

walk with me: hr s2 Troy Barrett intro montage set to The World’s Biggest Paving Slab by English Teacher

[bark-barkley]

they should make new stages of grief specifically for thursday 8/7c and the following couple hours

[hearteyesilya]

o captain my captain

[lavenderprose]

Unfortunately my third eye IS open and I know for a fact that in-universe the Shane Hollander/Hayden Pike (b. 1990) tag on Ao3 is three times bigger than the Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov tag. However both of these tags are dwarfed by the Ilya Rozanov/Clifford "Cliff" Marleau tag.

[energyprison]

Notice there hasnt been a wednesday this year

[shanyshko]

rent lowering gunshots but i like that they're not perfect. i like that they're both a little manipulative and hurt each other badly. i like that shane is a little bit selfish and that ilya is callous and they're both so insanely egotistical and rich. i like that they're both a bit misogynistic and that ilya makes that weird comment about shane's looks. they feel very real because of all of these things and when people take them away it feels like joker therapyspeak where are my fucked up hockey erotica men.

[johnnychronic]

I don’t freak unless froken to, thanks

[dragongirlsnout]

dude you can't hate me just because my pussy secretes a rich and viscous royal jelly that enthralled your girlfriend. get over it already

[elokitties]

post tuna melt ilya was obviously a terrorist to everyone around him so I like to imagine cliff still just going about his days texting ilya “beers tonite bro lfggg” and ilya replies KILL yourself. and cliff texts back love you bigdog ur my sun and stars 💯🔒 we’ll get fucked up tomorrow🍻

[slaygentford]

and you’re telling me that this isn’t Ilya Rozanov

[tomlinshires]

Well yes

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

i have a false tooth filled with a placebo in case i'm ever captured and need to be a control subject

[gaynehollander]

The reason Rose’s track record with men leans so heavily towards gay is because her type is essentially Non Threatening Man. Which, I don’t think she realises, essentially translates into man who does not overtly lust after her. Because that’s a threatening energy. She thinks she just likes Good Guys but that’s not actually it, on a subconscious level, masculine performance of desire deeply unsettles her. It's scary in a way that makes her throat close up and her skin crawl.

Turns out that when those sidelong glances and penetrating stare come from a particular elegantly dressed, terrifyingly stunning Russian woman rather than from men, it doesn't feel the same. It's still scary but in a way that makes her skin tingle and her breath speed up for reasons that feel wholly different.

[gayhockeyshow]

silly goofy hollanov ask: I like to think at some point there’s some conversation about their potential future children (maybe just between them, maybe with other people Yuna/David/Hayden) and Ilya casually drops that he thinks they should have “at least 5 kids” it takes Shane a second but he does turn to Ilya to tell him that they “cannot base the number of children they have on beating Hayden.”

REALLY GOOD

Additionally Ilya would try to name one of their daughters Diamond bc of all of Hayden’s mineralogically themed children bc diamonds are ‘the strongest’ and shane would immediately shoot that shit into the ground

[boitterfly]

updated dashboard simulator

mutual 1: [shane hollander image]

mutual 2: ilya and marleau have fucked but it was genuinely platonic style

mutual 3: [hudson williams image]

mutual 2 again: hudcon have also fucked . in every way that matters

mutual 4: shane has been turned into a chihuahua #shihuahua

mutual 5: [shane hollander image]

mutual 6: shane has a medically diagnosable WAP

mutual 7: [~300 word ficlet about said WAP]

mutual 8: gilyagamesh and shanekidnu. discuss

[perlukafarinn]

Ilya expressing to Shane at some point after they're married that during those two years he was chasing after that hole he was worried someone else would get there first and Shane just looks at him like ???? because the thought of letting anyone fuck him before Ilya never crossed his mind.

Not even because he didn't want anyone else (though, duh) but because it would have felt Wrong. Like he was taking something away from Ilya that already belonged to him. He tells Ilya this earnestly without considering how batshit insane it sounds and Ilya is hit with such a dizzying wave of arousal he almost passes out because What Do You Mean Your Hole Was Mine Before I Ever Fucked It?? And Shane just keeps looking at him weird because from his point of view, all he has done is state an obvious truth.

[just-a-red-been-bread]

Я люблю тебя