Sugar, Denim, and Basilisk Venom

23/they/them/ace/agender I started as a HP blog but that’s definitely not where we ended. I do not support J.K. Rowling. Jewish and proud Don't follow if you're a TERF/SWERF/REG. #BlackLivesMatter

[bugged-ubuntu]

Silly phone, you're not detecting an analog audio accessory, you're detecting soup, from the bowl of soup I dropped you in.

[horsefigureoftheday]

Nova's tips for beating the heatwave:

1. Check that you have good access to shade trees, a shelter custom made to fit you and all your friends, and plenty of good airflow

2. Find the hottest, sunniest, and least windy part of you pasture and lay down

3. Make sure you look as much as possible like you have died of heatstroke

4. Get your friends in on it

[lilaccatholic]

It’s Fourth of July Eve so make sure to leave some milk and cookies out for Captain America

[lilaccatholic]

I THOUGHT AFTER FOUR YEARS YOU PEOPLE WOULD LET THIS DIE AND YET AGAIN I OPEN THIS CURSED APP TO FIND MORE NOTES ON THIS POST

[fragiledate]

the strongest bond is probably pad wings to themselves. the weakest is probably pad wings to your underwear

[fefairys]

[transcyberism]

there are four human activities and they are crafting, stories, math, and fucking around. whatever you're doing is at least one of those four.

[swan2swan]

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

[luimnigh]

[ladydevoir]

[gummybearattacktheworldofdespair]

[therustyskull]

@ralfmaximus Showers that will kill you

[ralfmaximus]

Holy shit I thought this was a Sims bit or someone playing with CAD software, but the last few seconds knocked me out

[batbetbitbotbut]

@thebibliosphere I'm pretty sure you are the appropriate recipient for other people's terrifying home renovation choices

[hotvampireadjacent]

[cider84]

there is nothing wrong with being insane there is nothing wrong with being crazy there is nothing wrong with being delusional or psychotic or narcissistic or antisocial or biopolar. those are just the lies our sanist world has decided to perpetuate. it is not a moral failing to be mentally ill.

[soundoftheirwings]

Gotta tell you guys something wild in the Chinese fan sphere

So some fanartist drew a “sexy” (read: booby) version of a (cartoon) character who is traditionally very non-sexualised. Fans of the character got mad about it because it’s kind of groundbreaking how that character is written and portrayed and this art totally ignores the entire point of the character. They demanded the art be deleted. In response to that other people said, well what the fanartist did may be distateful but they have every right to draw what they’re into. The two sides fight for days and each starts a harassment campaign and even report their “opponents’” accounts.

So far so typical. But things eventually come to a head and they decide that this will be settled by votes - not through a poll. Through donations to a children’s education charity via each side’s portal. Whoever can get the highest amount of donation wins.

And that is how this charity received over 1 million in donations in three days lol. Oh btw the “freedom of expression” side won by a landslide (960k to 40k)

[tlbodine]

From now on this is how all petty fandom disputes should be settled.

[flagellant]

[bepreparedforachange]

[bepreparedforachange]

[teashoesandhair]

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

[astercontrol]

whoever bought the domain spidersge.org and had it go to a simple html page with nothing except the text of the famous spiders georg post:

Thank you. You are doing good work. Hope you have a wonderful day

[ceruleanheaven]

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

[ceruleanheaven]

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

[ceruleanheaven]

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

[wuggen]

Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers

[ewaneneollav]

you’re one of the three survivors after the apocalypse & the other two are visibly passing one of theirs’ phones back & forth having a secret conversation in a notes app