I Dont Know Whats Going On Either

She/they

[classiccookbooks]

Brioche Bread

Source: The New James Beard 1989

Makes 2 loaves

1 1⁄2 packages (12 tablespoons) active dry yeast

2 tablespoons sugar

1⁄2 cup warm water (110° to 115°)

1 cup unsalted butter, melted

1 1⁄2 teaspoons salt

4 cups all-purpose flour

4 eggs

Egg wash (1 egg yolk beaten with 1/4 cup light cream or evaporated milk)

Combine the yeast, sugar, and water in a cup measure and allow to proof (it is proofed when it begins to swell and bubble). Mix the melted butter and salt. Combine the flour, eggs, melted butter, and yeast mixture in a large bowl and beat with your hand until well combined and smooth. Butter a second large bowl, put the dough in it and turn it around so the surface is lightly coated with butter. Cover with a dish towel and put in a warm, draft-free place to rise until light and doubled in bulk, about 1 to 1 1⁄2 hours. Punch down the risen dough with your fist and divide it in half. Butter two 8-by-4-by-2-inch loaf pans. Form the dough into loaves and put in the pans. Cover with a towel and let rise a second time until doubled in bulk, about 1 hour. Preheat the oven to 400°. Brush the risen loaves with the egg wash. Bake in the center of the oven for about 30 minutes, or until the loaves are a deep golden brown and, when removed from the pans, sound hollow when rapped on the bottom with the knuckles. If not quite ready, return loaves to the pans and bake another few minutes. Cool on a rack.

[ian-with-a-t]

With the changes happening right now in the states if anyone asks I’m 100% straight

[ian-with-a-t]

Y’all ever vibe with your sad music and then a commercial comes along and wrecks everything. Like I swear man I’m trying but this Cheeto add is testing me

[ian-with-a-t]

Y’all ever have that one friend who can take your mood from a 15/10 and turn it into a -2?

[ian-with-a-t]

Me a gay: My sanity is as short as my finger nails.

[ian-with-a-t]

Squidward can’t wear flip flops

[ian-with-a-t]

Education

I mentioned how a character in a video game looked like a total butch to my one straight friend. Her response was “what’s a butch?” It hadn’t occurred to me before that gay is a sort of lexicon and I now have the responsibility to teach it to this poor soul.

[ian-with-a-t]

UPDATE! She wanted to know why it’s important to cut your nails. Now! How do I explain this

[ian-with-a-t]

Does anyone else have a catchphrase that came out of no where but you say it all the time now? I randomly started giving out imaginary cupcakes and saying “Have fun, don’t die,stay safe” (it was “Have fun, don’t die,don’t talk to boys they have cooties” but no one listens to that last one so I had to change it) to the point where it’s an auto correct on my phone.

[ian-with-a-t]

Me at 3am:Bro what if spiders wore flip flops?

Friend: Just go to sleep.

[ian-with-a-t]

It's that time of year again folks. The time when we all talk about Girl Scouts like they're drug dealers

Me:*Comes into a room with Girl Scout cookies*

Rando: Yo who's your dealer?

Me:It's Maddy. If you tell her I sent you she'll knock off the price of your s'mores

[ian-with-a-t]

Me: *insert internal screaming*

[ian-with-a-t]

Education

I mentioned how a character in a video game looked like a total butch to my one straight friend. Her response was "what's a butch?" It hadn't occurred to me before that gay is a sort of lexicon and I now have the responsibility to teach it to this poor soul.

[ian-with-a-t]

So over my summer break I volunteered at my old school. They let their alumni volunteer with the k-8 graders for their summer programs. I was working with the 6-8 graders for most of the summer but the last 4 weeks the office assigned me to the 2nd&3rd graders. Now! I'm terrible with names so every boy was little dude and every girl was m'am. I didn't like them calling me miss so the kids called me captain. Fast forward to winter break. They get back into school like a week before I do so I drop by and the girls that were in the program are calling the boys little dude and the boys are calling the girls m'am. I feel very accomplished. Especially because when two of the boys saw me they ran up and said "Hey look it's the captain!"

[ian-with-a-t]

[ian-with-a-t]

Reasons I do things

I don't know why other people do stuff but if i get out of bed to do something one of these things got me to do it.

1) Spite

2) So I can be better then someone else

3) So I can beat someone and make sure they know I beat them

4) To impress someone

5) Because how cool of a story would that be in the future

6) To make a lasting impression

7) Well I mean they did it so why not?

[ian-with-a-t]

Other people my age: *smooth*

Me a useless lesbian: I'm as smooth as crunchy peanut butter with extra nuts.

[ian-with-a-t]

I say I'm tired but I mean I'm sad. But you'll believe it so if I say it enough maybe I will too