Lupita Nyong'o wearing VALENTINO – The Hollywood Reporter

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@icallthisparadise
Lupita Nyong'o wearing VALENTINO – The Hollywood Reporter
I WAS BORN YESTERDAY. I JUST BLEW IN FROM STUPID TOWN. THIS IS MY FIRST RODEO. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.
The ultimate power move in a vampire/fairy rivalry would be the fairy inviting the vampire over for tea. The vampire has natural dominion over anyone who invites them into their home, the fairy has natural dominion over anyone who violates the laws of hospitality, and neither can refuse the appointment without showing weakness, so it’d just be a constant headgame of the vampire trying to manoueuvre the fairy into a position where the obligations of hospitality allow the vampire to eat them, and the fairy trying to trick the vampire into doing something that would allow the fairy to declare them a poor guest.
You know EVENTUALLY they’re going to get hit with the magical equivalent of being snowed in together, right?
is
is that not the point
next paradox -faeries have power over those who eat fey food -vampires have power over those they feed on even should the vampire successfully bite the faerie theyre still at square one
Schrodinger’s hospitality rules
赤苺と白苺
level 1: the lost boys is gay af
level 2: the lost boys follows a not uncommon horror movie trend where monstrous and villainous characters are associated with alt fashion or other counter-culture signifiers, which may also call to mind an association with queerness as it exists in conflict with cishet cultural norms. this, intentionally or unintentionally, helps to position queerness as an evil threat to the status quo in the minds of viewers. while a lot of queer people end up seeing themselves in these characters in a positive way, its inappropriate to talk about how cool gay vampires are without at least acknowledging the implications of this in relation to the long history of queer-coded villains in film.
level 3: the lost boys is actually all a clever subversion of the aforementioned trope; while on the surface michael is positioned as the classic disaffected youth, child of divorce (this and him being in the care of a single mother helping to introduce the idea that his vampirism ie latent homosexuality starts with this initial failure to uphold conservative family values), falling in with the wrong crowd who corrupt him and creates a rift between him and his family, the twist of the movie reveals that the vampire gang exists under the authority of the head vampire who himself has all the signifiers of the wholesome middle class all-american dad figure. this recontextualizes the queer-coding of the vampires from a gang of wild subversives to a group of kids who, like michael, were most likely struggling with some sort of instability in their home lives and were groomed into vampirehood by their sire, the symbol of the father they perhaps lacked. the precious but fragile unity that exists among these outsiders cannot survive, not because a more normative family structure has some special thing they lack, but because they are chasing an idea of family that despite their counter-cultural leanings hasnt been meaningfully disentangled from patriarchy, as embodied by their literal patriarch.
level 4: the lost boys is gay affffff
if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"
Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!
In the name of the faggot, the dyke, and the holy tranny, I bless you. Go forth my child, and have as much gay sex as possible
VHS — permanent marker on paper, 23 × 30 inches, 2010
Website — Instagram
RIP Anthony Stewart Head (1954 - 2026)
The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws
The thing is nobody at pride is evaluating you to determine if you’re queer enough to be there because they’re too busy thinking “it’s so hot out” and “why is this lemonade 12 dollars?”
Can’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11th
i know ur from the uk(?) but reading this as an american is really really funny
why 😭 it’s about twenty one pilots???? Their new album is out sep 12th????
THERE'S TWENTY ONE THIS TIME???
at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.
At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.
people in books and tv shows are always getting so upset they throw an untouched meal in the trash. that would never be me. i'd receive the worst news of my life and still be like Let me put this in the fridge.
i am full of love and also fatigue
tbh a lot of my advice boils down to “hey you know that terrible horrible looming thing you’re doing your best to avoid and distract and escape as much as possible but no matter what you do it just keeps looming and looming and ruining your life”
“just, fuckign, run straight at it screaming.”
i needed this as a background