Hello I'm Aria from England nice to meet you. Age 23. Ask me Anything. Multi fandom blog. Also i'm on instagram and wattpad with the same username. Ask blog is open. Also follow me on fanfiction.net and watpad.
-He was sexually assaulted which he said kicked him into a deep depression
-He stated that the stunts from the 3rd Mummy movie completely destroyed his body and he was in and out of the hospital for 7 years even having to get surgery to repair his vocal cords.
-He apparently blamed himself for all this which only worsened his depression.
This man has literally been through hell this past decade so please lets cut him some slack and wish him the best
All this but also that picture on the right is a really bad paparazzi photo compared with a professional quality movie promo still. No one looks good when some random person snaps you on the street, regardless of who you are.
Compare with this image from the GQ article last February:
Proper lighting, professional setting, good angles etc.
The dude is 49 and has had a rough couple of decades, but heâs still lovely to look at, and Iâll fight anyone who says otherwise.
And letâs not forget he was probably slightly to severely dehydrated to look that buff in he first photo.
And Iâm so pleased he got work again he seems like a good sort, and from the stealth pilot in Titans, Doom Patrol looks like it should be good.
Imagine training with your platoon when a very frantic Mika rushes through the training grounds-with several other soldiers in tow- attempting to explain that your presence is required immediately to assist with a matter of 'utmost importance to the saftey of your fellow soldiers.' Several of the fifth company have been left injured, and a few are still missing. By the Grandmasters orders, you are to report to Wolvedom at once.
You try to get some information out of the boy, but he shakes his head and drags you back with him. A few of your soldiers follow suit, refusing to abandon their captain.
"The Grandmaster says you're the only one who can stop this!" The boy hollers as you enter the dense forest. Wolvendom is silent, abnormally so. Not a howl nor prowl in sight, just a young wolf patrolling the perimeter, not letting anyone too close to his pack. He looked like a yipping puppy sitting by the cave entrance.
"Razor protect lupical. No enter." The boy is guarding the cave where several wolves hide away.
"Was it the abyss order?" You ask, readying your weapon. Your men follow shortly after, preparing for battle.
Mika and Razor shake their heads, the latter points to deeper in the woods.
"Bad man set traps. Gaurds fall in, can't climb back out. Some stuck in trees." Razor resumes his position, "lupical got caught. Won't happen again."
You tussle up the boys hair and leave a gaurd to help him keep watch over his pack, resuming your patrol with Mika and the remaining soldiers.
Despite Razors...attempt to describe what has befallen the knights, it's not an easy sight to behold.
Some knights are hanging in the trees by their ankles, some tied up at tree trunks either drunk or complrtrly out of it. Others are helping one another climb out of pits, only to slip in themselves. The ground is cold, covered in slush that makes traversal difficult.
"What happened here- Avk!?" One of your soldiers steps into a trap, being flung into the air and left dangling several feet above the ground. "Captain!"
"Richard! What happened-" another falls into a pit covered in frost and leaf litter. Thankfully, there's nothing sharp of dangerous inside, but it doesn't lessen the pain from his twisted ankle.
"Mika, what the hell happened during today's training?"
"I-I don't know! I just came to tweek a map of Wolvedom and it was just...THIS! I can't even find Keaya, he was supposed to help me incase hillichurls showed up and now he's missing!"
The bushes rustle and footsteps can be heard from not too far away, too heavy to be a wolf and too light to be a machine.
'Frost...traps...'
"Oh God dammit, LOHEN!" You yell into to the tree line, startling the knights. A few drop the soldier they were attempting to pull free from the pit, falling inside along with him.
"Get your ass out here right now or your sleeping on the floor for a month!" You threatened, fully prepared to hold true to your word, and the man knew it.
The rustling stops as the manic 'captain' walks out of the bushes, covered in twigs and what you hoped was his own blood. Despite your threat, he still beamed up at you, practically hopping to your side. Being cute was his only real defense against you, it was a shame you ran out of patience.
"Hunnybunny! Did you come to join the fun~" He asks, pulling you into a hug. Frost still lingered on his finger tips from setting up another trap. Lohen buried his face into your neck, was he excited to see you or hoping you'd pity him if he made himself look 'too cute to hate.'
You yanked at his hair, causing the cheerful man to yelp in pain, this was the only way to drag him back to reality when he got like this. You forced Lohen too look at you, not allowing him a chance to escape. "Fun? What did you do to them!?"
Lohen whinned and attempted to escape your hold, but you weren't about to let him run off like last time. "It was how we trained in Nod-Krai- Ow! Let go, let go! Red card, red card!" He shouted.
You released lohen, maybe you were a tad too rough, but then you heard a soldier falling head first from the trees. "Strange, normally you like this-"
"Not infront of my men." He hisses, rubbing the spot on his head where you tugged. "I'm preparing them the same way we trained against the Wild Hunt, just in case we have to prepare for another attack on Mondstadt. It's not my fault they can't tell what's a trap and what obviously isn't."
You can only gawk at him as he gazes around at his handy work, it did not take long to recover from your 'attack.' "not one managed to escape, well, except for Mika. Short stack here managed to slip away, didn't think he go tattle tell on me." He glared daggers at the boy.
Mika jumped back behind you, you were most certainly gonna have to be the one to reign him in.
'Wonder how long he'll get in Solitary for this one.'
"Although, I could never find Keaya...he just kinda...disappeared. well, he isn't the calvary captain for nothing!" Lohen laughed, enjoying himself and his 'training' far too much.
'The incident reports are gonna be horrible...poor varka....no, poor jean.'
Enough was enough.
Gently, quietly so he wouldn't hear, you snuck up behind lohen as he was marking off which traps were tripped on a shittly drawn map. He hummed a familiar tune while swaying back and forth on his feet. If he had been anyone else, it would've been an adorable sight to behold.
"I'm starting to think he's hiding somewhere I wouldn't expect him to hide...what do you think baby-"
With one quick motion, you jab the side of his neck as hard as you can. He falls to the ground in seconds, unconscious and most likely will be needing a doctor.
"Is he okay!?" Mika shrieks as lohen lays limp on the ground.
"He's still breathing, and besides, he's Varkas problem now." You scoop up your boyfriend, throwing him over your shoulder as you begin the March through back to the forest entrance. Turning back one more time to address the soldiers. "Listen up, all of you. Mika is gonna help me bring back reinforcements, those who are the least injured, I want you to help those stuck in the trees and in the pits. I'll find Noelle to help fill the pits. If ya can't move, you wait for assistance. Understood?"
Several soldiers respond, but mostly in grunts and please to hurry. The fifth company will be out of commission for some time now.
"You'll still be sleeping on the couch when you get out of solitary." You murmur to Lohen. For a moment, it sounds like he is trying to protest, tlbut that could just be him making sounds while he sleeps.
Mika-cautiously- followed behind you, hoping to put as much distance between the twitching lohen and himself. It was a miracle he didn't end up in a tree. As he attempted to avoid the slush covered traps, he ended up stepping on a few of the soldiers. The smart ones buried themselves underneath the pits, very few had been discovered.
"Ow, Mika! Watch were your walking!" A voice hissed from under a pit, still covered in the plants used to hide it.
Hear me out, but Lohen x nonchalant darling. She once entered to become a knight but intentionally failed because it isn't her calling and because she'd prefer to be an adventurer and secretly is watching him training the knights and she finds him quite unnerving. Unbeknownst to her, he also can tell she was watching him. So when he catches her, he challenges her to aim at him and the apple he's holding. The darling, not thinking too much of it, warns him that if he got hit then it's on him, (un)fortunately she misses the aim at him (tho he knows she's intentionally holding back) and leaves, she tries to be boring as much as possible, she even would give him a disgusted/glare at him, but he's infatuated. Her avoidance and nonchalance fuels him even more...
i hope i did this justice <3 also genuinely i just. give up. my mind keeps thinking of lohen when i get fanfic ideas and i tried to fight it. unfortunately, i lost and this is the result (back to lohen requests) (ââžâ) (wc 1.7k)
tags: implied age gap (older reader), adventurer! reader, nonchalant x chalant, slightly suggestive at the end?, yandere
As a former Knights of Favonius candidate, you know your way around Dornman Port. Though not an official member, you have correspondence with the knights as a senior adventurer of the Guild. You visit the place daily to cooperate regarding supplies and materials. Every day is the same â item inventory, quality checks, and future logistics planning. Just work, work, and work. Having done this for a long time, it should be second nature to you â and it is.
Well, if not for thatâŠÂ freak.
Lohen, the Vice Captain of the Knights' Fifth Company, is an enigma. You've never talked to the guy personally. Your lives were like night and day â every meeting was just a passing encounter. Maybe you'd brush by him and give a polite nod while doing the odd commission around the city, or maybe you'd pass him by on the way to the supply area. Regardless, neither of you talk much with the other.
And yet, he's always given you the creeps.
Maybe it's the way his blade reflects the glint in his eyes.
Maybe it's the way his lips lift at a specific angle when torturing training fellow knights.
Maybe it's the way his pupils automatically dilate when looking at you.
Either way, your fight-or-flight nerves fire up, sending chills down your spine. It makes your muscles tense up and mind more alert, as if suddenly wary of the surroundings.Â
Just like right now.
"I didn't know you were interested in target shooting."
"Good day to you too, Vice Captain. To answer your question, I wasn't. I was just passing by."
Rather than avert your eyes after getting caught staring, you face him head-on. That mischievous smirk plastered on his tilted head contrasts the professional, neutral expression on your face. Lohen's snortle shows he doesn't believe a word of what you said. And yet, he still decides to humor you. The other knights, grateful that today's torture was short-lived as their Vice Captain shifted his attention to play with another toy, look at you with both pity and appreciation before scurrying away.
"With that look on your face? There are many fools here, but I'm not one of them. Come on, Miss Adventurerâ or rather, Miss Former Knight."
At those last two words, your eyes sharpen by the smallest fraction.
"I didn't know the Vice Captain was interested in meâ"
Upon the slightest shift in his posture, they drift towards the apple on his hand, tracking its motion in the air as the man plays with it. Up, down, catch; again and again.Â
"Lohen."
"What?"
"Call me Lohen."
While in this standstill, you can hear faint sounds of the rest of Dornman Port waking up for yet another day. The noise of workers lugging around and driving supplies could be heard in the distance. You force yourself to remove your gaze from the apple and back to his.Â
Work is still calling.
"Considering our lack of familiarity, that would be inappropriate."
"Now, now⊠who said I'm not familiar with you?"
"Well, I'm not."
"Well, I am."
You take a deep breath and sigh. Loud and drawn out, but defeated. Unsurprisingly, he doesn't seem offended by your rude response. That same, conceited smirk is still plastered on his face despite the frown starting to form on yours.
Now this is starting to annoy me.
"Sir Lohen, this has been a fun conversation. Unfortunately, I have to goâ"
"Why did you give up?"
"Pardon?"
The downturned corner of your lips purse in confusion, urging him to clarify. Unconsciously, your conversation with Lohen lowered your guard down. Fortunately, his strange question rose it back up. You look at him â really look at him â and ask with your eyes what the hell he's talking about.
"Your intel is wrong. I'm not a former knight; never been one in the first place."
For the first time in this entire interaction, he seems somewhat⊠disappointed?
"I watched you before. You could have easily become a knight with your skills. Why drop out?"
You didn't hear the rest of his sentence as just the first one alone made your skin crawl.
'I watched you before.' What the fuck?
"âŠThat's none of your business. Now, please step out of the way. I have to leave."
You force yourself to shake away the creepy words and creepy stare, as if he's staring directly into your soul. You've always went by the saying, "the first one to look away loses" â but for today, just today, you're willing to break it just to get the hell away from this situation.
"Make me."
"Excuse me?"
Your eyebrows furrow, fully putting off any display of neutrality. First he was being creepy, but now he's also starting to piss you off. With that, any and all disappointment in Lohen's face vanish as it's instead replaced with that irritating grin.Â
"You heard me. If you want to shoo me off today, thenâŠ"
He must see how pissed off you're getting right now because he steps closer despite the massive scowl on your mouth.
"âŠDo it with your skills. Take up a gun and aim at this apple. Or me, if you'd like. Actually, I prefer the latter. How about it?"
And archons, does it provoke you so, so much.
"Fine. Keep your word."
The moment you step foot on the training grounds, a wave of nostalgia and familiarity runs through your body. It's been years since you left to return as an adventurer, finding the guild's life of freedom preferable to the order of the knights. Yet, some things haven't changed. They still use the same old, wooden dummies for practice. The surface of it definitely has more scratches, cuts, and holes from over the years, but in its core still the same as you remember.
"Over here, Miss Former Knight~"
Unfortunately, now is not the time for reminiscing. Lohen's teasing call, pointing to the apple on his hand, pulls you back to reality.
"If you're missing the past so much, then maybe you should apply to be a knight again."
"Please quiet down. I'm choosing a weapon."
With a single, quick reply, you firmly ignore him and turn your attention to the guns in front of you. Your eyes scrutinize each and every one of them. Upon closer inspection, though similar, they do have their differences. Some have slightly longer barrels; some weigh more than the others. After taking a look at all of them, you finally choose one. It's a common matchlock musket, the one used by basically all knights these days. Not too light for lesser recoil, and not too long to tip off the balance.
Just right.
"Come on, hurry up, please. I'm getting bored here."
Picking up the musket, you walk towards the table, facing Lohen. Like muscle memory, your body goes into proper posture. Both your hands grip the weapon steadily as the end of it presses against your chest. Then, taking a deep breathâŠ
"I have to inform you: I have not done this in so long. Don't blame me if you get hurt."
"Blame? Pfft! I'd rather thank you."
âŠYou aim the barrel towards the apple.Â
"Remember your words."
And aim.
Clank!
A sharp sound reverberates in the air as the practice bullet barely hits the fruit and meets the wall.
"As you can see, I've gotten rusty but fortunately, I still hit it. Remember your words, Vice Captain."
"âŠThat was barely a graze."
"A hit is a hit. Now let me go."
You school your face into a neutral demeanor once more, refusing to let your day become worse as it is.
"You were holding back. I know it."
"Vice Captain, your word."
Lohen comments on your performance but you forcefully steer it back to the topic at hand. While you're barely holding yourself back from just storming off, thinking of possibly being late for morning duty, the bastard just smiles at you. To be honest, you can see why many admire the Vice Captain despite his odd demeanor. If you were any younger, you'd definitely be charmed too by that smile. Unfortunately, you're old enough to notice the emotions kept hidden under those eyes. You can't quite pin it down, but you can feel the heavy weight of his gaze and it's not normal.
Surprisingly, it's Lohen who backs down first.Â
"Lohen. It's Lohen."
"âŠFine. Well, Lohen, your word."
After a few moments, he puts his hands up in a mock gesture of surrender.
"I'll honor my word and leave you for today. But my offer still stands; if you apply again, I'll happily be your recommendation."
Finally.
You quickly return the musket back to its place before picking up your items on a nearby table.
"Leaving so soon? Without even a goodbye?"
Ignoring the man, you check the clock and click your tongue upon noticing the time. You glare at Lohen, silently cursing him in your head, before leaving without sparing another glance. Lohen watches your fading back as you hurry for work, leaving him all alone on the training grounds. When he could no longer see your figure, Lohen suddenly breaks into a shudder as the apple falls to the ground. It rolls somewhere, but he pays it no heed.Â
Even after years, you're still as beautiful as when he first saw you.Â
Lohen could still remember that fateful day. Sneaking into the building to find Adorno, he accidentally caught sight of your figure. Holding a gun, you were so different from the sword-wielding knights. And yet, you carried a sharpness that cuts even the mightiest of blades. That moment would forever be engraved in his mind. Time did little to diminish that. Instead, your feistiness was just hidden more cleverly. Hidden, but still there.
With no one else around, Lohen could finally let out the feelings he was holding back. His hands cover his face as a low moan exits his lips. His body shakes in delightment, reliving the moments your eyes focused on him and him alone. A lone word loops through his mind, over and over and over again.
⥠â synopsis : youâre stuck treating your bratty boyfriendâs injuries because he refuses to go to an actual professional.
notes ⥠: gender neutral & vice captain of the 3rd company reader (although it isnât really relevant here), no use of y/n & no capital letters as a stylistic choice, just comfort, descriptions of injuries (to the best of my ability lol), suggestive jokes, established relationship, lohen calls the reader âsugarâ âbunnyâ and âdollâ. may be ooc.
notes II ⥠: rushed this one so i could start the royal au.. sorry...
word count ⥠: 621
âstop squirming, loâ, or iâll shove this needle into your thigh.â
âooh, kinky. are you tryinâ to turn me on, sugar?â
you roll your eyes, turning your attention back to your boyfriendâs wound. only he would manage turning a threat of being stabbed by a needle into something suggestive. freaking weirdo. maybe it was your fault for being so in love with him, though. not like you could help that.
you donât remember exactly how lohen got the injury in the first place; he had come home after some sort of errand with that post-battle craze in his eyes, alongside a slight limp. after pestering him about it, he eventually fessed up. supposedly, he encountered a few ruin graders that hadnât been reported to the knights, and one of them slashed at him. he barely had the time to move out of the way, resulting in the gnarly gash on his thigh that you were currently treating. the gash he refused to show you and that is now currently oozing blood all over your loverâs bare thigh and on the towel you laid on the floor under his leg. the same gash that almost made you faint at the sight. archons have mercy on your soul.
now, you were certainly not one of the sisters of the church. you were no expert in treating wounds, but if you didnât do it, who would?
so here you were, on your day off, inserting clumsy stitches into your loverâs thigh while he has the absolute nerve to make snarky comments (totally not trying to distract you from his trembling voice.)
your dominant hand punctured the edges of the flesh with the needle, while your other hand was being squeezed by lohen, the occasional quiet whimper of pain escaping his lips. âagh.. fuckâŠ!â lohen hissed out through gritted teeth when you brush against a particularly sensitive area of the wound.
ââm sorry, love.. almost done, yeah?â you mumble softly, pressing your lips to the knuckles of his hand that was clutching your own. despite how much it hurt to see him in pain, it does make your heart soften ever so slightly to see him comfortable enough around you to actually admit that heâs in pain (in his own special way).
you finished stitching the wound shut, inspecting your handiwork. considering your hands were mildly shaky, you hadnât done too bad. you wiped the remaining the smears of blood off his thigh, before wrapping a bandage around the stitches. you lifted your head up to look at him, trying to gauge how he felt by his (unfortunately) rather unexpressive face. âall better?â
lohen tested his leg, stretching it out in front of you. despite the circumstances, you couldnât help but admire the way his leg muscles flexed slightly. damn him and his beauty. âeh, could be worse. not too bad, doll.â he grinned at you cheekily. âiâm sure i could still dominate you. in a fight, of course.â
you shoved his shoulder lightly. âbarbatos, spare me. you couldnât even give me a thank you? or better yet, an apology for the emotional distress?â
lohen laughed, a genuine, warm laugh. he shifted, wincing at the movement slightly before wrapping his arm around your shoulder, gently stroking your shoulder with his hand in that way that always soothed you. âfine. iâm terribly sorry, bunny. what do i have to do to earn your forgiveness, your highness?â
you lean into his touch, laughing softly at his ridiculousness despite yourself. âjust.. stay here. with me for the next few days. itâll be safest.â
lohen pretends to ponder, before leaning to press his lips to your own tenderly. âfine.â he mumbles against your lips. âsafe. just you and me.â
lohen wants u to choke him content | nsfw, fem!reader, pet name used lit once, estab relationship, masochism, short drabble
âcâmon bunny, donât be shy,â he cooed. âjust imagine iâm a big, scary monster.â
lohen hovered on top of you, his face and body inches from yours. with every sigh of mockery he made, you shuddered from the intensity.
âiâiâm not gonna do that,â you rasped quietly. âchoking? lohen, youâreââ
you cut yourself off. of course lohen was crazy. you had no right to act shocked.
he chuckled. every sound he made only felt like a shivering taunt. itâd make your heart bristle every single time.
with those fogged, dazed, red eyes, he stared right into you as he said, âare you scared youâll hurt me? hah, iâm flattered.â
before you can say anything â process anything, he flipped the two of you in a secure yet winding whirl, making you now nestled on his hips, looking down at him where he was flat on his back.
his cold hands slowly, clinically rubbed up and down along your hips. as if you were just a delicate little thing. a delicate little thing that he just asked to choke him.
âdo it,â he said, his voice hoarse and expectant.
you took a deep breath. looking into those bumbling, big, red eyes of his, you couldnât bring yourself to deny any of his requests. especially when you were on top of him, feeling the faint twitching of his cock beneath you.
your hands found his torso, feeling the outline of him as they languidly traced their way to his neck. and then, once your hands gripped him firmly, and you noticed an excited flare in lohenâs eyes;
ack!
the intense, mind-numbing pressure of your fingertips disturbing his larynx caused lohen to make incessant, curdling sputtering sounds. he slightly jolted himself more flush against you, causing your breath to hitch. you softened your grip for a mere moment.
lohen coughed raggedly. âwhatâs wrong?â he heaved. âdonât worry, iâm enjoying it,â he purred.
you didnât need him to say it to know that he was enjoying it. as you squeezed the flesh of him once more, you could feel his dick stirring to life in his pants. and his bulge pressed warmly against your dampened underwear.
the thing we first need to get straight about lohen is that man has absolutely no sense of self preservation when it actually matters (probably pre story quest)
he'll walk into monster-infested ruins. Alone. Smiling. Gets stabbed. "...Huh." Pulls the spear out. Keeps fighting.
Medics: "CAN YOU STOP DOING THAT."
"Doing what?"
the 5th company was WORRIED for you when you started dating. because the lohen that THEY know once walked into a morning briefing like
you fell in love with the man who voluntarily exposed himself to concentrated dandelion pollen so he'd stop being allergic and now misses the side effects.
the confession was.. weird.
he tried to give you poisoned flowers and you never knew it was from him
eventually he had to outright say "i'm trying to court you"
When he asked you out, it was somehow even less romantic.
"You make surviving the day more enjoyable."
"...Is that your version of 'I like you?'"
"...Yes."
"...I'll take it."
bro is literally a golden retriever trapped inside a battlefield gremlin
The Knights expected him to become softer after dating. They were... technically correct.
Around you.
Everyone else? Still a menace.
Five minutes after lovingly holding your hand... He's hiding in a tree waiting to ambush Varka with a net.
Emotional range:
đ You.
đ Varka.
he's surprisingly clingy. not dramatically. just.. always touching you somehow.
Holds your hand absentmindedly.
Hooks a finger through your belt loop if you're walking through crowded streets.
Rests his forehead against yours while thinking.
Wraps an arm around your shoulders without realizing he's done it.
If you're sitting beside himâŠ
Congratulations.
You're now an armrest.
his love language is "i kept you alive. now kiss me"
brings you food because you forgot to eat.
repairs things before you notice they're broken.
walks on the side closest to traffic.
quietly checks exits every time you enter a building.
memorizes your routine.
Not because he doesn't trust you.
Because he wants to know where to find you if something goes wrong.
If you're injured?
He appears.
Nobody knows where he came from.
You barely finish saying:
"I think I scraped myâ"
He's already wrapping the bandage.
absolutely SHAMELESS eye contact
He already studies everyone.
His partner?
Even more.
You look up.
He's looking at you.
"...What?"
"Nothing."
"...Then why are you staring?"
"You smiled."
"..."
"...I wanted to see it again."
He says things like this with complete sincerity. Then goes back to casually sharpening a spear.
he's weirdly domestic. he loves helping with chores and claims it's "efficient"
Ends up making everything into a competition.
"Whoever folds laundry slower washes dishes."
"...Why?"
"Motivation."
Cooking together?
He follows recipes...
Exactly once.
Then starts experimenting.
"...Lohen."
"What?"
"...Why is there Jueyun Chilis from Liyue in the pancakes?"
"...Curiosity."
He trusts you.
Completely.
If you say: "I've got this."
He believes you.
Doesn't jump in unless you actually need help.
But if someone genuinely threatens you?
The smile disappears.
Immediately.
Even the other Knights suddenly become interested in something else.
He doesn't realize half the things he does are romantic.
Casually tucks your hair behind your ear while talking.
Brings you flowers because "they reminded me of your eyes."
Falls asleep with his hand still holding yours.
Remembers every tiny thing you casually mention.
Then acts confused when everyone calls him smooth.
"I just... paid attention."
you eventually learn how ot be immune to his chaos
Everyone else: "WHERE DID LOHEN GO?!"
You: "...Ceiling."
Everyone: "..."
Lohen, upside down in the rafters: "...How'd you know?"
You: "You always hide there."
Lohen: "that's hot."
the 5th comany ships it so hard
his gifts are concerningly thoughtful
Normal people buy jewelry.
Lohen buys:
reinforced gloves
custom daggers
emergency medical kits
waterproof cloaks
specialized camping equipment
Then one day...
He quietly hands you a tiny carved wooden animal.
"...You made this?"
"Mhm."
"...When?"
"Couldn't sleep."
It's a perfect little carving.
You treasure it forever.
He pretends not to notice.
his pain tolerance is offensive. you asked him to rate his pain. he says 3. his arm is currently broken btw.
lohen usually sleeps like someone who's spent years in the field.
Very lightly.
One weird noise?
Eyes open immediately.
But if you're sleeping against him...
He relaxes.
More deeply than anyone has ever seen.
The Fifth Company notices he actually looks rested now.
One knight whispers:
"...They're good for him."
Another whispers back:
"...Don't tell him that."
varka's favorite hobby is watching you two be accidentally romantic in public.
lohen doesn't always say "i love you constantly". he says it. just differently.
"Tell me when you get back."
"Eat before you leave."
"I've already sharpened your weapon."
"Walk behind me here."
"Take my coat."
"You're tired."
And, perhaps his favorite:
"I've got you."
Matter-of-fact.
Completely unquestionable.
Because if Lohen says he's got you...
Then as far as he's concerned, the whole world would have to get through him first.
--
pls help me i'm falling down such a big rabbit hole for this man
HAHAH GET IT
GET IT
RABBIT
BECAUSE HIS CONSTELLATION IS
AHHH CONGRATS ON 100 !!!reading ur stuff always puts a smile on my face. excited to see what you'll come up with !!
THANK U!! <3 i honestly wanted to keep this one going for a bit sobs, so im not super happy with the ending bit but! hehe i hope u enjoy nonetheless
find the event here!
Next to you, there is an incessant tapping.
It thrums against the floor like a frantic melody, fairly quiet but unending in its repetition. Despite how frenzied the sound was, it still remained composed and rhythmic. If you didn't know any better, you'd think it was the beat of a song without lyrics, tapped only to capture the memory of the tune before it is forgotten.
You did, however, know better, and you were also beginning to worry that there would be a hole burned into the polished wooden floors of the Favonius headquarters by the end of this banquet if this irritated fidgeting didn't cease.
"Lohen, heyâŠ" You start, your finger beginning to tap the table in time with his foot, as if you didn't even have to properly think about it before you were following along with the knight's whims. He only hums in response, a vague little sound that you aren't entirely sure was even meant for you.
"Hey, are you listening?"
"Mm-hmm, yep."
The tapping continues, as if you had never spoken to begin with.
"How're you doing over there?"
"Huh⊠Yeah, yeah."
Your eye twitches minutely, and you're struck with the sudden urge to grab the man by the shoulders and shake him like a rag doll. You don't, of courseâ because unlike someone else at this event, you have at least an ounce of decorum.
Finally, Lohen laughs. He leans forward, pressing his elbow against the table rather improperly to gaze at youâ and finally, the tapping comes to an end. "I'm messing with you. I've been listening."
"Jerk."
"You love it."
You aren't quite able to stop yourself this time, when you reach over and flick him right in the center of his forehead. This, of course, only serves to make him laugh harder.
"Anyway," You're a little exasperated when you finally continue on, much to Lohen's apparent delight. "What're you in such a mood for, huh? You don't tap your foot that much unless you're irritated."
Lohen's expression sours instantly, looking down at the empty plate in front of him. The porcelain is shiny and clean for the event, void of even a singular speck of dust. It must be a big change for someone who has grown so used to eating out in the wild. You wonder if he feels out of place here.
"Hey, don't start, alright?" Lohen's lips press into a thin line, "You know I'd rather be anywhere but here."
"Come on, Its a banquet! Can't you at least be excited to share a meal with your brothers and sisters in arms?"
"Oh please," Lohen huffs, leaning back in his chair with an aura so glum that you could almost imagine a little raincloud hovering up above his head. "This is a political event, not a social one. This is all just for appearances."
You can't help but laugh at his pessimism, and Lohen's eyes dart back over to you at the sound. You've found, recently, that Lohen's attention seems laughably easy to capture the moment your joy seeps outâ as if your amusement alone has bewitched him so thoroughly that he can't bear to tear his eyes away from the sight.
"Come on, cheer up," You reach over to playfully knock against Lohen's arm, and all of a sudden he's sitting upright like you've slapped him clean across the face. "I bet half of these guys will be too drunk to walk in two hours tops. Then we canâ"
"Sneak out?" Lohen cuts in before you can finish, leaning into your personal bubble as if he belongs there. "Go and spar? Cut up some monsters, maybe?"
Theres a heavy sigh building in your chest before you can do anything to stop it. This guyâŠ
"You know what? Fine. Make it through two hours, and we'll go hunt some monsters."
Somehow, despite the stress you're already feeling because of it, the gleeful smile that breaks across Lohen's face at your agreement makes all of your exasperation worth it.
ouu ur writijng is so beautiful I love it way too much.... I'd do anything to have ur fics engraved on a stone tablet so they could survive the cruelty of time and be memorialized gilgamesh style....
GILGAMESH STYLE IS ACTUALLY CRAZY ANON SHJDFHSDK ;; i hope if any of my works survive its my lohen x reader fics that can be discovered by archeologists hundreds of years in the future,, so they can enjoy the vice captain as much as we do,,, its for the greater good of humanity i think
find the event here!
It had seemed like a good idea, initially. To stay after hours in the Knights of Favonius headquarters to finish up the last of your paperwork. There was never any harm in being productive, after all.
Lohen, of course, was displeased by the ideaâ but had decided to hang around your office nonetheless. He'd even started helping with the work after a while, grumbling about wanting to go home while filling out the papers in a way that was most definitely lackluster in the eyes of the Acting Grandmaster. But mediocre work aside, with both of you working, you managed to finish up the backlog of work in only two extra hours!
Unfortunately, in the time frame that the two of you had been cooped up in your office, the weather⊠had taken a turn for the worse.
Each bolt of lightning creates a boom of thunder that has the building windows rattling in place, an unending torrent of rain pouring down like a curtain right outside the doorway. You and Lohen stand under the building awning now, watching the stone pathways of the city gather more and more water by the second until it looks like Cider Lake has begun to overtake the very streets of Mondstadt.
"You didn't happen to bring an umbrella, did you?" You ask, and Lohen shakes his head.
"Nope. Did you?"
"âŠNo."
"Guess we'll just have to be fast, then."
Huh?
Lohen's casual statement throws you for a loop, but when you turn to look at him, he's already stepping up behind you. Before you can get another word in, you're being casually hauled up into his armsâ his hands cradling you like you're something precious despite the flippant way he moves.
And with that, the Vice Captain is darting directly into the deluge. The way he squeezes you against his body initially protects you from the barrage of water, but within seconds you're both drenched.
It's impossible to hear through the hammering of rain against the ground, but with the way he holds you right against his chest, you can feel the way Lohen laughs gleefully, and soon enough you're laughing right along with him despite the frigid rains that pour endlessly from above.
Perhaps staying late to finish work really was a good idea after all.
Okay hear me out- Lohen gives off the vibes that if his darling was ever rambling about something (like starting to spiral rambling), he'd quietly sneak up behind them while they're talking so once they turn around, their faces are *extremely* close together. I'm talking like if his darling even leans just a bit forward during that turn they're gonna end up kissing đ It either results in Lohen scaring the living daylights out of his darling or they're kissing, no other option đđ
Either way, it gets his darling out of that mental state (and he gets a kiss from them half the time hehehehe) so it's a win-win situation lmao
Oh he would, he absolutely would đââïžđââïž
It doesn't help that Lohen has mastered the skill of silently sneaking up on someone from behindâ so by the time his darling notices that Lohen's not walking alongside them anymore, he's already hovering behind them like a vengeful ghost waiting to drag his lover down to hell with him.
If his darling takes too to notice him, Lohen might get bored and pull something devious: using his cryo vision to chill his breath before blowing said breath against their nape. The way they react never fails to stretch his lips all the way up to the corner of his eyes, watching them with amusement while slowly cornering them until their back hits against the closest flat surface.
âWhat were you saying, darling? I wasn't listening.â
He puffs another round of cold air against your ear, making sure that you heard him loud and clear. His hair smells like silk flowers and valberries, sweet, floralâ the same scent as the shampoo he gave you last week after you complained about yours running out soon. Did he buy the same shampoo to smell like you, or for you to smell like him? That bastardâ
Before your head dissolves into its own world again, his lips swiftly pull you back into reality, stealing the breath in your lungs to warm his.
âMm sorry darling, I still can't quite hear you~ You might have to be a little louder.â
đ§ââïžđ§ââïž Sorry I got carried away
He is the only one he sees the courting, for the rest of the world is just him bein g his ussual gentlemen and chivalry side.
He always listens to you, about anything and everything, he takes pleasure in trying to help you.
He always asks you if you could let him accompany you to your house so he can reassure that you get safe and sound.
When he sees you on the shadows, he always uses his lamp to brig you to light, even when its just to distract you from something or someone.
You always get hypnotized looking at the blue and purple flames and he is more than flattered of it, like you are making him the best compliment ever.
He is a practical man and his definition of love is doing things for the ones he loves, so for courting he is always asking you what you need, doing it on advance or even doing stuff you didn't even know you needed.
He collects flowers you like cause he thinks it would look great of your apartment.
He buys some of your groceries cause you've been complaining about how you hadn't found time to do them.
Also, he takes you to walks into all kind of places in Nod Krai, especially if you aren't from there. he would give you the whole tour.
If you are already from there, he would ask you to acompany him on his lightkeeper duties.
He is also a little cryptic and deep so he always chooses his words to be a message of his profound love for you.
But you don't get it cause he is too deep and cryptic, and he doesn't realize it so he gets a little frustrated about it and complains to Lauma, who always laughs.
Lauma is the best advisor he could get to start being more obivous about his intentions and even though he still isn't clear about it, you start noticing things.
At some point, he realized that his courting didn't go anywhere and it doesn't work anymore.
This is a somehow modern world and he already has showed you up all his heart, if you don't like him, then no courting in Teyvat would change that.
He takes you to a special place, most probably the cemetery and takes you to the top of the light house to look at the night sky.
He would have your favourite flowers, chocolate or whatever gift he knew you would like, cause he always listens to your tastes and knows what you would like for the perfect asking out date.
He doesn't stutter but he made a really long speech about his love for you and with the nerves he cut a lot of stuff while talking, but you didn't know that.
Of course you say yes, and he has a big smile on his face, he can finally breath and peace and kiss your lips like he has been imagining for months.
best friend alhaitham who somehow has become your designated "will this guy be a good boyfriend or not" detector. except he keeps rejecting every single one of the candidates you brought up to him with the most ridiculous but logical reasons that you can't really refute.
"you've reiterated that you wanted a man who wouldn't prioritize his career over family, and he has confessed that his dream is to become the akademiya's grand sage. continuing to see him would merely expend meaningless energy on your part."
"he dislikes your favorite color and is allergic to cats. your future living arrangements are bleak."
it's when you've finally had enough, when you yell in frustration for him why don't you just pick someone who would make a good boyfriend for me, then!ăŒ he finally stares at you, snaps his book close, and declares with the utmost confidence: "objectively speaking, that would be me."
summary: lohen wants you to hit him, but you're a lover, not a fighter. he wracks his mind for a solution to his conundrum, only to settle on the best possible one: if he wants you to roundhouse him into next week, he'll just have to make you mad.
themes: established relationship, assistant-librarian!reader, attempt at humor, silly references, playfighting, floor sex, light teasing, insufferable!lohen, inspired by various lohen memes/tumblr postings, they're in love your honor âĄ
word count: 3k | ao3
⥠(one of author's personal favorites)
You really werenât sure you could follow this tutorial of his.
âSo you step back with one foot like this,â Lohen said, tilting his body with the backward movement of his leg. âThen you hold your hands like this. One by your chin, one in front of you. And when you go to throw a punch, you justâ.â He pivoted on his right foot, launching the fist by his chin straight forward as his body snapped with the motion.
âWham! Like that.â He grinned, placing his hand on his hip. âEasy enough, yeah?â
You felt a nervous sweat dot your brow. Wringing your fingers before yourself, you said, âUm, show me again?â
âSure, sure. Step back like thisâŠone fist to your chin, the other in frontâŠthen wham!â
The way Lohenâs fist punched through the air was already giving you a heart attack. You gawked at him when he started to bounce back and forth on his heels, explaining to you, âYou can even throw a jab like this! Then a straight! Then a good old uppercut!â
His lithe body moved through the steps as your mind struggled to come to terms with them. Massaging your hands together, you winced when Lohen let out an excited laugh. His crimson eyes twinkled as they stared at you, a smirk pushing one corner of his lips higher than the other.
âOh, donât look so scared. It kinda turns me on.â
âShut up,â you said, heat pooling in your cheeks. âI just donât want to hurt you.â
âWhat? Thatâs, like, kinda the whole point.â He grinned, popping his eyebrows at you. âCome on, you know you wanna try it. Give it a go. Hit me!â
He spanned his arms out like he was waiting for a hug, but you knew Lohen better than to assume that. You probably would have preferred if he was in a snuggling mood, though, because you werenât even sure how to approach the act of punching your boyfriend in the face.
âI donât know,â you stammered. âIt doesnât really feel natural. LikeâŠI donât think Iâd be able to hit you just because you asked me to.â
âBun, youâre overthinking it.â He flapped his fingers inwards, towards himself. The smug grin on his face persisted when he said, âJust do it. Will it help if I tell you I want it?â
Not really, because you could already tell thatâs what he wanted.
âHm.â Lohen crossed one arm over his chest, the other coming up with his pensive fist. He rubbed his chin, observing you with a raised eyebrow as he continued to let out thoughtful hums. He raised one eyebrow, let it fall, then raised the other eyebrow, and let that one fall too.
âStop doing that,â you mumbled. âIt makes me uncomfortable.â
âOh yeah?â Lohen asked, shifting his brows across his forehead again. âDoes it make you mad?â
âNot mad, just uncomfortableâ.â
âWhat if I burned down the library?â he asked chipperly. âWould that make you mad?â
âWhat?! Iâd be devastated!â you shot back. âLisa and I have spent so long arranging every text in that library! Thereâs centuries of knowledge in there! You canât just go and burn it down!â
âMm,â Lohen said, his teeth biting into his grinning lower lip. âI like it when you yell at meâŠbut Iâm afraid that wonât stop me from burning your precious books to the ground, sweetheart.â
âYouâre not actually going to do something like that. I know youâre just saying that. R-right?!â
The words left your lips, but your brain was already fixated on an image of chaos. Lohen, sneaking into the Knights of Favonius library with a match in his hand, waiting for you to organize every last book return and label each new addition before casually setting the place ablaze.
Oh, that was definitely a possible outcome. Knowing him, heâd be so covert about it that you wouldnât even notice until the whole place was nothing but ashes.
âYouâre maaad,â he said in a sing-song voice. âSo mad you could punch me. Right?â
âAre you trying to threaten me into beating you?!â
âPft! Oh, come on, you know Iâd never do that! Itâs just a bit of light coercion.â
Was he bluffing or was he serious? Did you really want to wait around and find out?
âHey, what was the name of that porn book youâve been reading?â Lohen asked, tapping his chin. âThe one from that series youâve been waiting on for the past two years?â
Your cheeks smoldered into flames. Indignantly, you snapped, âFateâs Glimmer is not a porn book! Itâs a romantic tragedy that analyzes the conflicts between conquest and birthrightâ!â
âYeah, yeah, whatever.â Lohen waved his hand dismissively, his smirk growing wider. âIâm pretty sure you left your porn book on my nightstand. Wouldnât you just hate if something were to happen to it? I mean, you went and got the collectorâs edition and allâŠâ He clicked his tongue, shaking his head. âWaste of money if you ask me. Why read porn when you could just fuck meâ!â
âWHAP!
Lohenâs head whirled from the impact of your fist against his cheek, his words struck dead on his tongue. Your knuckles protested with throbbing pain, but by the Archons if it didnât feel good to wipe that smug smile off his face. It was one thing for him to burn down the library, but to incinerate Fateâs Glimmer: Collectorâs Edition Vol. 24? He had gone too far!
âItâs a romantic tragedy!â you barked. âIt's a brilliant analysis on how war impacts families and intimate relationships! Any explicit content is solely for the purpose of accompanying the plot, but you wouldnât understand that, youâŠ! YouâŠ! Ugh!â
Lohenâs mouth hung open, his eyes wide during your whole tirade. As you came down from your moment of fury, you quickly snapped back to your senses.
You had just punched Lohen in the face. Over a book. You assaulted your boyfriend; over a novel.
You winced. âIâm sorryâ.â
ââfuck,â Lohen said over you, red seeping into his face. He tongued at the inside of his cheek, moaning. âGood job, Bun. Now do it again.â
âYou are just soâ!â Your hands curled up into fists before you let out a ragged sigh. âNo, Iâm not going to hit you again!â
His eyes turned half-lidded, a perverse smile settling across his lips. Slowly, he drawled, âThen I guess Iâm gonna piss in your porn book.â
Before you could stop yourself, your body was launching across the room, barreling straight into his.
Lohen liked playfighting a bit too much. Maybe it was because youâd stand no chance against him in a real fightâand you wouldnât ever be foolish enough to try. Since he couldnât spar with you, he spent most of his time finding other ways to force you into a tussle.
His face loomed over yours, cackling.
âHey, Bun! Remind me what the characters in your âromantic tragedyâ were doing in that last chapter you told me about?!â
You let out an anguished groan, heat bathing your cheeks as you stared into his mocking red eyes. Lohen laughed, his hands pinning your shoulders to the ground, and in a teasing voice asked, âWhy the hesitation, sweetheart? I thought it was an analysis on war!â
âUgh, screw you!â you spat, pushing up into his chest with the flat of your palms. âCorina and Zand finally reunited after a whole year! Itâs only natural for there to be tension!â
âAnd what did they do during their glorious reunion? Whatâd they do with all that tensionâhuh, Bun? Enlighten me!â
You shoved your body weight forward, and even though he was far stronger than you, he pretended to flip onto the ground anyway. He grinned from ear-to-ear as you sat atop of him, your hands curled into the collar of his shirt.
âTheyâre in love!â you sputtered, the burning sensation in your face intensifying. âThey havenât seen each other in a year! Itâs only logical they wouldâŠ!â
âItâs only logical they wouldâŠ!â he mocked in a high-pitched, girly voice. âLogical they would what, Bun? Do a little bit of this?!â
You yelped when he bucked his hips underneath you, sending you bouncing atop his lap as his laughter filled your ears. You pressed your hand to his mouth, trying to suffocate those uncontrolled chortles under your palm, but Lohen only moaned and bit you.
âOw!â
âYou like that, bunny?â he asked, his grin splitting his face in two. âYou wanna bounce on me just like Corina bounced on Zand?â
âStop!â you whined, stuck between a strange cross of irritated and horny. âYouâre so annoying!â
âThat didnât sound like a no to me!â
His hips popped up into yours again, the bulge in his trousers meeting the skirt of your dress. Glaring at him, you snapped, âYou canât seriously be horny right now!â
âOh, yeah,â he groaned exaggeratedly. âYell at me some more, wonât you, babe? I might just bust.â
âWhy are you like this?!â
âOh, I can be worse! Wanna hear my best impression of you when youâre bouncing on my dick?â
âNo, of course I donâtâ!â
âAh, ah, ah!â he mimicked, rutting up against you all the while. âLohen, slow down! Iâm gonna cuuum!â
With a furious scream, you lifted him by his collarâwhich he let you doâbefore thrusting him back into the ground. His laugh was borderline-maniacal, tears budding at the corners of his eyes as he play-struggled beneath you. But before you could think to move, your world was spinning, and with your back pressed solidly into the ground, Lohen was on top of you again. He rutted against you with sharp, sporadic thrusts, mimicking, âLohen, Lohen, Lohen!â
âFucking stop it!â you blurted.
âOh, but youâre wet, arenât you? I donât even have to touch you to feel it.â
No you were not wet for Lohen while he dryhumped you across the floor of your living room and imitated the way you moaned for him when he fucked the living soul out of youâ.
âIâm wet,â you mumbled, your heart pounding against your ears.
âOf course you are,â he purred. âYour brainâs all addled from that porn book of yours. You donât even notice how horny you get when you read it, do you?â
âStop,â you complained, pressing your eyes closed. âI most definitely do not get horny while reading it.â
âYou do,â he purred, hips rocking, hands rising to your face. âI sit and watch you read sometimes. When you start biting your lip, thatâs how I know youâre at the smut part.â
âI donât do that,â you protested.
âYeah you do, Bun. And you start looking around too, trying to make sure I canât see those filthy little pages of yours.â
Of course Lohen would notice something like that, even when you thought you were being covert about it. There wasnât much you could hold over his head in the surprise varietyâyou even stopped trying to hide his birthday presents after the third foiled attempt. After you got together, he suggested that next time you cut the gimmicks and show up with a bow taped to your tits and a dagger in your hand.
Lohenâs laughter drove the scene from your mind. He leaned down to press a chaste kiss to your mouth, after which he said, âWant me to fuck you?â
You closed your eyes and whimpered, âYes.â
Your fingers curled into Lohenâs shoulders as he moved atop of you. Legs tucked over his back, you encouraged the forward motion of his hips with each of his hard thrusts. Lohen nibbled at your chin, his nails scratching against the hardwood floor beside your head.
âYouâre so embarrassed,â Lohen said, laughing against your jaw. âHow adorable.â
Your cunt throbbed in response to his provocation, squeezing around his girth. Lohenâs tongue plopped onto your chin, and with a lazy drag upwards, smeared his wet saliva all over your face. When he reached your mouth, you stubbornly kept your lips pressed closed.
âHuh?â he asked. âYou donât want your kisses? When youâre the one who always whines about them?â
He snapped his hips forward again, making you release a strained moan into the air. The way Lohen fucked into you mashed against the sweet bundle of nerves pocketed inside, and he wasnât a stranger to abusing that. He angled himself better for it, and it was somewhat painful when he stabbed into it again, but your pleasure was undeniable. Lohen tried for your mouth again, and you quickly clamped your panting lips shut.
He chuckled, his teeth nipping your upper lip. You flinched, and he giggled more.
âYou mad at me?â he asked teasingly. âJust âcause I made fun of you for reading erotica?â
Your brows furrowed together. âItâs not erotiâ! Mm!â
Ah, he had gotten you with that one. While your mouth was open, snapping at him, he had leaned down to slot his against yours. His hot tongue broke past your lips, waltzing around between your teeth like it owned the place. He moaned against you, stroking his thumbs over your cheeks, and gave you another solid thrust.
Your nails dug into the fabric of his shirt. Eyes fluttering shut, you felt yourself slip into a state of pure bliss.
But then things started to get cold. You thought you were imagining it at first, that maybe it was just a shiver, but then your teeth started chattering against the soft of Lohenâs tongue. He crooned a naughty little giggle, and the reason behind your frigid state became startlingly clear.
Shuddering, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling his body further into yours. You turned your face away from his kiss, clinging to his warm frame as you barked, âWhy are you doing that?â
Of course, you were referring to his inappropriate use of his cryo vision. Lohen snickered.
âI like it when you cling onto me,â he purred. âMakes me feel good.â
âItâs c-cold,â you complained.
âThen I guess youâll have to cling a little bit harder.â
âLohenâŠâ
You groaned, but you wrapped yourself around him tighter anyway. With both arms and legs holding him in a vice-like grip, you hooked your chin over his shoulder, your cheeks warm. He nuzzled into the side of your face, pressing sloppy kisses to your cheek all the while. For a guy who complained about the mundanity of kisses and cuddles, he sure was a hypocrite whenever he was on top of you like this. You had even started wondering if he liked it more than you did.
Your palms, flat against his back, stroked across his blue button down. He let out a breath against your cheek.
âYou feel good,â you murmured.
His hips stuttered. Lifting his face back over yours, Lohen grinned at you, red consuming his cheeks from ear to ear.
âYeah?â he said. âYou like me or something, Bun?â
You cracked a smile back, rolling your eyes. âYouâre so silly.â
âHehâŠcheeky girl. Iâll show you silly.â
He rammed into you harder, his brows furrowed, but with a satisfied smile still etched across his face. You moaned his name, your eyes trained on that wicked grin of his. When his mouth descended onto yours, you dug your nails into the fabric of his shirt.
âMm,â he moaned. Between wet, sloppy mashes of his mouth against yours, âGonna fuck you silly, Bun.â
Embarrassing, but you liked the sound of it.
âGonna make you go, oh, Lohen!â
Okay, now he was just being a dick. Your cunt was still throbbing though, so what did that say about you?
âAh, Lohen, stop!â he mocked, his shoulders shaking with his laughs. âGood impression, no?â
âCan you not make fun of me while youâre fucking me?!â
âAw, but I like it! Youâre so cute when youâre mad, Bun!â
âJust shut up and fuck me!â you sputtered.
âHa! Well, if you insist.â
âOh,â you moaned suddenly, feeling the stroke of his cock shift into a pound. His tip fucked that spot you adored like heâd never get a chance at it again, and as pleasure shot through your core in hot waves, you sputtered, âYeah, justâŠjust like that.â
âIâm gonna make a bingo card next time,â he purred. âFill it full of the shit you say when youâre about to cum.â
Why, oh why did you like it when he made fun of you like that?
âI wonder if itâs gonna be slow down! or not yet! this time. What do you think, Bun?â
âSlow down,â you slurred, your heels digging into his hips. âFuck, Lohen, slow down.â
âLike music to my ears.â
âIâm gonna cum,â you whimpered. âPlease stop.â
âBut I want you to cum, pretty girl.â
Oh fuck him.
Lohen laughed when you slipped into it, your hands clawing at the back of his shirt while you mewled and moaned the exact way he had made fun of you for. You felt the sting of his hips into yours, a bit of biting cold that he couldnât control, preceded by the lively throb of his dick inside you. Your back arched as though you were being pulled to Celestia, but Lohenâs body kept you tethered, holding you right where you were.
âFuuuck,â he drawled, his eyes unfocused. He grinned, but the expression twitched, shifting his face between a smug one and a desperate one. Fingers clawing into the floor beneath you, Lohen half-spat, half-moaned, âBunny.â
Fuck, fuck, fuck, you were cumming againâ.
âGoodâŠgood job,â he said, his voice lilting into a whimper. âYouâre myâŠmy everything, Bunny.â
Tears budded at the corners of your eyes. Holding him ever so tight, you whined back, âI love you.â
He exhaled a shaky laugh. Lowering his head, the tip of his nose brushed against yours.
âPretty girl,â he crooned. âI love you more.â
With an ear-splitting smile, tears ran down your cheeks as you laughed. Lohen craned down to kiss you, swallowing your giggles and salty tears along with your hot tongue.
âMm,â he said when he withdrew. âStill gonna make that bingo card.â
Your smile immediately fell flat. Whamming your fists against his shoulders, Lohen only nuzzled into you and laughed.
What a pain of a boyfriend. He was stupid, reckless, and borderline psychotic.
Yet in the depths of your heart, you knew you wouldnât want him any other way.
Hexen apprentice reader and prune wearing matching clothes around mond omg, maybe slowly fatherhen gives accessories of his to prune,maybe she wears his other dagger earring like a brooch or bracelet charm
Whenever people in the city see her, each time her resemblance to reader and lohen slowly increases and they realize ohhh its their kid, makes sense,especially when prune wants to buy something from local vendors and shops
The vendors just go "Oh its alright kiddo, ill just put it on the vice captain's tab"
Maybe the alchemy shop's manager goes"sure ill give it to you, take (y/n)'s orders too though okay?"
Prune is just there like "excuse me? How did you ever come up to that conclusion i hate him and I hate her theyre both weirdos"
Ahh kids these days is just how the others react lol
going around mondstadt city (+ dornman port... it's quite a long walk so she often uses the broom you lent her to travel place to place) and ignoring the elephant in the room (her wardrobe slowly being transformed into clothes made by you... witch hats and the color purple + the bunny charm that eerily looks like lohen that hangs right next to her anemo vision) while the entire mondstadt population just agreed and fully thinks that she's the adopted child of the vice captain and the mysterious witch living at the edge of dornman port ^^;; oh pruneter the fight was over before it even started.
they think the vice captain is a little unexpected for settling down so soon...! and you're not actually married to him (yet) either, but he seems more than happy with his current standing in life, so they let it be <33 how supportive. varka's especially happy with lohen leaving him alone now that his free time and boredom are cured by his happy little family. you get to have your own henchman for fetching ingredients (lohen) and an assistant in potion brewing (prune), so you're quite happy with this arrangement too... ignoring lohen's ludicrous attempts at pda while prune's in the room, that is.
the knights of favonius is happy, lohen's happy, you're happy -- it's a win-win! until prune begs to differ. that man is NOTTT her father and you... well you're alright, but his freak tendencies are starting to rub off on you too... it's a living nightmare. she doesn't know what powder that alchemist timaeus snorted, but he's incredibly dumb for mistaking you two as her parents! just thinking about it sends shivers down her spine... yuck. yuck. yuck. yuck. she needs to read off this frustration.
sara from good hunter giving her discounts because apparently, "family members of company captain and vice-captains get 30% off! run along now, little one!" ughhhhh and the nearby cat's tail even gave her a free drink because the bartender, diona, owed you a favor!
a scowl stays on her face for hours, even gets deeper when the day ends and she sees lohen leaning on the city entrance waiting for her. something something "your mom asked me to pick you up -- told me you might get in trouble with treasure hunters along the way. hmm? what are you waiting for? let's go!"
...at least dinner tonight is sour smoked fish steak -- her favorite. oh and you slapped lohen first thing after he entered your house, so that's a plus too.
â đâThe sweetest looking things are the most poisonous ones.
You were giving Lohen a hard time just to be around youâbut he never gave up, claiming that the 'poison lady' was interesting and...too good with poison to give up on. And that's how it happened, your relationship bloomed with his need for poison and your curiosity to discover new ones.
âáą._.áąâ â Lohen x Maomao!Reader !
Cw/tw: Poison (đ„) , reader and lohen plotting / uh...Lohen? Cutie needs his own warning.
Dividers by: @/dollywons
You were one of Albedo's apprentice, beside Sucrose and TimaeusâBut not exactly for the same reason as them. They were his apprentice because they were deeply inspired by his revolutionary approach to Alchemy. You, you were his apprentice because you found the usage of Alchemy very usefull for one of your hobbiesâmaking poison.
You've had an obsession with poison since you were young, finding it interesting. As a kid, you even grew curious and kept drinking from not deadly poison to mid level poisons. Which has gifted you resistance against any kind of poisoning.
You often used sucrose to get some flowers and use them for your recipes, even stealing borrowing the notebooks in Albedo's laboratory just to get further informations.
âžș Innevitable Meeting
Your life was good, you were having funâMondstadt had varieties of flowers, which made your task easierâuntil you crossed road with an annoying guy.
You met Lohen outside Mondstadt city's gates, you were studying poisonous flowers and which one had more potentialâwith you, you had a bag with multiple vials of substance that's in the making. Next to the bag was another vial, that one in the herbs next to you. You weren't really worried, the vial had a "DANGEROUS POISON! DO NOT CONSUME" sign on itâyou didn't really care until some people thought it was something else so you decided to put a bit of effort.
"How much is this?"
An unknown voice spoke from behind you, annoyed at the distraction you turned around. "I don't sell anyâ"
You cut yourself off, watching as the guy that asked you the question was covered in blood, from the pants to the dagger in his hand and his cheeks, he was eyeing the vial with interest. "I'm gonna take three of this."
"I don't sell them. Give it back." You glared at him, proceeding to yank the vial from him but he lifted his hand up. "Y'know, poison trafficking is illegal right?"
"And who are you to tell me that? I don't sell them. I already said thâ"
"Glad you asked! I'm Lohen, vice-captain of the fifth company. Greetings, criminal." He said, waving with his other hand as he smiled creepilyâactually, he was smiling like that since he came, you just didn't notice.
"Is this supposed to intimidate me? Move out of my way." Annoyed by the interruption of your peace and quiet afternoon, you grabbed your things before standing back up. "And i'll take this, thank you." You hit his hand, making the vial fall in your hands instead. "Have a great afternoon Sir."
Lohen was surprised, nobody ever did that to himâmost would have left the vial with him or even wouldn't have talked to him the way you did. He saw that you were about to hit him obviously , but strangely he let you do itâhe stole another from the backpack when you weren't focused anyway.
Hm?
And since that day, the vice-captain did not stop tormenting you. He would appear at places you never knew he went to, he started asking sucrose about youâwhich confused you because how did he manage to know you knew her.
He started talking to you about the poison, you refused each time he asked to borrow one.
You saw this as an inconvenience, he saw it as a gameâit's not everyday that you see someone talk like that to Lohen himself.
Eventually you got to know about him, after he was done with his knight work, he would everytime come to your workshop and stay 10 to 20 minutes before leaving. He'd talk to you about why and how he uses poisonâyou never asked, yet it intrigued you.
Using poison against hilichurls is effective and harmless. You always had a problem, yes, you made poisonâbut you had no one to test it on and you were too weak to test on hilichurls, so you never ended up knowing the effect. But now that Lohen is here, you figured that giving this maniac a chance wouldn't be that bad after all.
You proposed Lohen a deal when he came to see you.
"You want my poisons right? Then, how about a deal?" You asked, watching him intently as he smiled. "Hm? A deal you say?"
"I'll give you my poison, if and only if you tell me their effect on the enemies you fight."
He shrugged. "Sure."
Relationship Headcanons âžș The poisonous bunny & the deceiving hare...
You had no idea how it happened, but somehow the mischievious knight found his way in your heart sooner than expected. He brought you to dates, most dates are just him fighting hilichurls with your poison and you watching him while taking notes.
You'd definitely be his personal charger, like everytime his capsule would be empty, you'd just fill it with another liquid each time. Which saved Lohen the hassle.
Mondstadt is scared of your pair. People already thought of you as a weirdo; the weird giggles you'd let out while muttering the most unhinged things infront of merchands did make the tour of the city. And now that you're with someone as unhinged and feared as you, the knights really won't see the end of it.
Something "fun" that you two do is Lohen instructing and explaining to the knights why they should use poison on their enemyâtalking about efficiency and speed, while you would sometime talk about which one and what kind they should use. Which terrifies them because why are you talking about some toxic plant named "queen of poisons" that cause severe neurological and cardiovascular distress.
They call it "the hour of fear" you and Lohen just see it as "Necessary education" or as a date.
"...and that's why you should use it more often." You ended your monologue, ignoring the clear discomfort and worried expression of the knights.
"[Name], are you...doing okay?" One of the knights asked, very worried about your extensive knowledge in that field.
"She's doing great." Lohen intruded himself in the conversation, a smile creeping up his face. "But the only one you should worry about is you, knights."
Shivers ran down their spine.
Gulp.
One time, you tried something different. You composed a poison that can give slight pain to the body, not deadly, it's mostly to strenghten the body to endure pain better. Except, you did it as a lipstick for curious reason.
You didn't tell Lohen, but it wasn't surprising he came home and you pecked his cheeksâhe felt it instantly. Pain overflowing his body, but the freak only smiled. "That a new one, bun?" With his cheek pressed on your neck. "Love that color on you by the way."
Only Lohen could tell you that the tint of a poison looks good on someone. Strange, strange but adorable.
You needed some kind of fun (other than poison) in your life anyway, having Lohen seems to be just what you needed.
No one actually noticed either. Trailblazer had grabbed Phainon!Mc and dragged the too still Phainon!Mc onto the express. Phainon!Mc had been too still, just standing there, staring into nothing. Everyone had been celebrating, not noticing Phainon!Mc was just standing there.
Trailblazer noticed, and so they grabbed him and dragged him to the express, Dan Heng explained things quietly to Welt and Himeko, March 7th was keeping those of Amphoreus distracted.
It was clear the deliverer wasnât ok, no matter what anyone said.
The reason Phainon!Mc was just standing there is because he finally let go of his mask and stopped going on autopilot, he doesnât know what to do after thisâŠ
Of course the Express doesnât know why Phainon!Mcâs just standing there and not responding to anything or anyone but when there express leaves the planet, Phainon!Mc breaks down.
Amphoreus only notices itâs deliverer is gone until two weeks later. They hadnât been wanting to bother Phainon!Mc, wanting to give him some space, but after two weeks they got worried.
So they went to his house but it was emptyâŠ
Meanwhile on the express Phainon!Mc is being cuddled by the express (Even Welt and Himeko were cuddling him, so was Pompom) while crying.
He was often crying now, but thatâs ok.
They express is protective and Welt asks softly how many cycles Amphoreus went through again.
Dan Heng was about to reply with â33,550,337â cycles but Phainon!Mc only whispered âI went through 100,651,011 cycles. Everyone else only remembers one setâ
That gets the express to freeze and then question Phainon!Mc softly.
Phainon!Mc only tells the truth of how many cycles Amphoreus went through two weeks later (so after four weeks of being on the Astral Express). Safe to say Trailblazer lunges ar him and clings to him while crying profusely. Dan Heng and March 7th quickly join Trailblazer. Himeko and Welt look sick, as if theyâre about to puke.
Phainon!Mc still has his dreams and the golden eyed figure seems⊠happier?
Then one night he wakes up and he is cradled in the figureâs hands again except he can recognize the figure.
Holy shit itâs NanookâŠ
Phainon!Nc is nervous, but Nanook only looks at him before the scenery changes and then Phainon!Mc is being shown to the Lord Ravagers.
The Lord Ravegers understand why Nanook is so curious and smitten with the soul. Phainon!Mc had destruction woven into his soul, but not by Nanook or anyone else (not even Lygus), but because of the sheer amount of time heâs existed.
They are curious about how old his soul is when Amphoreus only went through 33 million cyclesâŠ
When Phainon!Mc woke up he was back in his bed at the Astral Express and just rethinking everything.
When Phainon!Mc had reset the cycles to the beginning, starting a new set, time itself had rewound, everything going back in time through all the cosmos. The Aeons were rewound too but of course, no one but Phainon!Mc knows that
Feel free to add more or take things away!! I hope you liked this and it made sense!!
-đŠ anon
Let us all thank Trailblazer for seeing something was wrong with Phainon!MC and snatching them away. The only issue is maybe they should've lefr a note about how they took Phainon!MC away, but... uh, I think it's fine.
Cut back to Amphoreus and to all of the Chryso Heirs freaking the fuck out-
And YES. Someone besides Phainon!MC knows the truth of the true number of cycles! Finally!
Though... I wonder how the Astral Express crew will go from there. Phainon!MC needs help. Mentally and physically. Should they has Blackswan? Maybe a memo keeper (one they can trust) can help sort out his memories? And therapy. He needs therapy badly.
Now for Nanook... oh goodness, THER'RE showing off Phainon!MC to the rest of THEIR Lord Ravengers? That's actually kinda cute.
Oh but now I get the feeling Nanook and THEIR Ravengers will learn the true number of cycles Phainon!MC went through soon enough. Especially if he keeps meeting THEM in his dreams...
a letter from lohen. lohen x fem!reader. smut. cunnilingus/facesitting. slight spoilers for lohen story quest under the cut.
my dear, dear bunny,
i know my solitary confinement is only for a few days, but it feels like an eternity has passed. i can't tell you how utterly boring it is just sitting here, doing mundane things like staring out the window, and wondering if it's going to rain today or not.
they are even making me catch up on all the mission reports i haven't done yet! can you believe that? and i am actually doing them because it's so so so boring.
on the upside, i have taken up the little hobby of making candy. i believe i have perfected a chewing gum long lasting flavor. i have made you a few pieces of candy that i think you'll really enjoy. i also made some no bake fudge. it was easier than i thought it would be.
and here i thought fudge was supposed to be complicated to make. and hard to perfect.
there are no monsters for me to fight. no traps to set for varka. no you. i really don't like only hearing your voice through the door. i hate not being able to get my hands on you when i want.
i got your care package. i can't tell you how often i bring that piece of paper you sprayed with your perfume to my nose, and inhale your scent. please, do wear that perfume when i get out of confinement.
my dear bunny, i also need to tell you something. i have an itch. an itch that only you can scratch once i get out.
i want you to sit on my face, and grind that pretty pussy of yours on my tongue. i think the couch in varka's office sounds like the perfect place.
i can just feel it now. your thighs squeezing around my head, your pussy drooling on my face while i lap at your hole. your thighs spasming if i suck your cute little clit a certain way. you don't know what that does to me.
please, grind your cunt on my mouth as much as you want. squeeze your thighs around my head while you whimper. don't worry when i make you feel boneless, bunny.
i will simply grab onto your hips, and help you ride my tongue. i encourage you to play with your tits if you are feeling extra good. the sight of pinching your nipples while i tongue fuck your clit makes me even harder.
ugh, time is going to pass by so slow. i just want to taste you cumming on my mouth. feel you tremble from orgasm. hear your sweet little voice cry for me while you cum.
nights have been very long without you.
yours always,
lohen
---
DO NOT plagiarize/translate/repost on tumblr or any other site without my permission.
I don't know what to put @icefoxlover01 - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
