im-not-so-sin

Commissions: [OPEN] Lucifer 24//they/them. If you have any questions about commissions send me an ask! I hyperfixate on people a lot. Sorry!

[deftos]

joseph  ∗  icons

[ampervadasz]

Unmute !

[rumplefuckingstiltzkin]

POV: You are Simba

[drtanner]

Love it when you can see the impending disaster before it hits, lol.

[ceekari]

you know the camera is going down, so you’re just guessing which dog it’s gonna be

until suddenly you know

[powerbottombrucespringsteen]

[tiktokarchive]

Guest: Hey can I use your bathroom?

Host: Oh, yeah! It's right over there.

Guest: Sick!

[roaringstream]

This caption doesnt do the video justice

[d3monicas]

make a deal with god

[1percentcharge]

My favorite pirate joke is “why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at c” not because it’s THAT funny but because it’s a relatively simple joke that nobody ive told it to has ever correctly guessed the punchline for because they all think it’s gonna be a joke about arrrr

[1percentcharge]

Another classic is

“Why couldn’t the pirates play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck!”

For more hilarious pirate jokes like these go to google and type pirate jokes into the search bar and click search

[somarysueme]

Sorry for the double reblog I just wanted to let everyone know that I told the first joke to my dad and he hung up on me.

[luisonte]

¿Los gatos flotan?

[anais-ninja-bitch]

the sound isn't necessary, but it does add a quality

[dankmemeuniversity]

[funnytwittertweets]

[spitblaze]

the sword-billed hummingbird may be one of, if not THE, bird of all time

[spitblaze]

ive been laughing about this little dude all day. its so unnecessary. but i appreciate the hustle

[notajerusalemcricketd-deactivat]

POV: You are a plant or perhaps a flower

[harritudur]

1993 / 2022

Dr. ELLIE SATTLER, Dr. ALAN GRANT, Dr. IAN MALCOLM

[oldschoolfrp]

Truck Carrying Gaming Dice Spills Onto Highway, Rolls A Perfect 756,000

“Though unfortunate it happened, nobody got hurt and we now own an unofficial world record for the largest dice roll in history!”

[atalana]

okay but this is the best part of this article

[toastbutteregg]

[cannibalchicken]

[afreecuntree]

omg

[kaijuno]

does anyone else remember being terrorized every single commercial break by the madagascar 3 trailer on every single cartoon channel in 2011-2012

[groovinomicon]

fuck you I can hear it

[mamoru]

I had a dream that unless the teacher told us class was over, we were forbidden from going out the door. Our teacher was very forgetful, and maybe even malicious. After being forced to stay past sunset many days, my class decided we were going to break out every night. Eventually our attempts led us to discovering rifts in space-time where we could warp. So we never used the door. Checkmate.

[turbro]

the window

[mamoru]

what? you going to critique my dreams? my subconscious creations, that I did by accident, while asleep? the chemicals in my brain? are you going to use your foul eyes and dissect all of the plotholes in my dreams? you going to critique the weather? harass the clouds? make fun of thunder for being off key? remind me to come to your house and shred your shoes

[kitttenteeth]

“i just like my alone time” i say as if loneliness hasn’t been all i’ve known since childhood